He describes his pre-Ghost/Robas life as being built upon "Discipline, precision, control". I definitely still see remnants of that in Ghost, even if his PTSD has made it less of a guarantee.
After his family's murder/faking his death, he describes himself as "a dead man (with a mission)".
Before settling on "Ghost", he workshopped called himself "Death" (and Robas referred to him as Mr. Death).
He also (post-family massacre) calls himself "a high-functioning wreck". I think this is very telling.
But he starts moving onto Ghost pretty soon.
Panels/exact quotes (in the alt text) below the cut
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Four: The Shelter
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
WARNING: this fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, autism, ADHD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, graphic violence, slow burn. This chapter in particular also contains very vague mentions of animal cruelty.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
***
Hello! Sorry for the longer wait this time, I was busy with the holidays and then caught myself not feeling well (and a mini slump).
Unfortunately… there is probably going to be longer delays for the next couple of chapters. This is because I have finally reached a point in my fic where I need to start catching up on the game lore in order to make sure my fic doesn’t stray too far from canon (outside my own creative liberties). I’ve caught up to a lot of it, but I still need to read some important parts to make sure everything goes smoothly to avoid as many plot holes as I can (mainly finish D&R and the new WUs + Caleb’s past cards). Hopefully I get through this fast enough.
To make up for it though, I accidentally made this another long chapter filled with lore. I hope you can see how I’m tying everything together now! And I hope the plot isn’t too confusing yet.
######
Running, running, have to keep running.
Caleb’s knees pumped up and down. Harsh breaths pulled from his lips, then slapped against his face as a chilly fog.
Lightning continued to flash overhead, colorful cracks of blue and purple and green ripping through the infinite black blanket of clouds, serving as the only source of light he had seen for miles. Winged beasts of various and unfamiliar forms flew overhead, circling him like prey, waiting to strike.
A burn spread throughout his chest. His head slouched forward, dragging his body along with it. His arms swung round as his legs fell behind and failed to keep up with the rest of his momentum. For a second, he carried the absurd thought that his head may disconnect entirely. Or maybe it already had. He certainly felt like he was floating, his surroundings blurring past him. But he couldn’t stop now.
He had no idea where he was going. How could he? He had never ventured beyond the lab. White walls were all he had ever known. He had read a little bit about the outside world from books and gazed upon pictures of black and white, but none of that matched the reality he faced now.
Endless plains stretched out all around him, no other buildings in sight. Smoke rose up from spots that had been scorched by stray flames. Everything was dark, too dark. And strangely quiet. Was it supposed to be this dark and quiet? If so, the outside world was not as grand as he imagined it to be.
His feet slammed onto the ground, spraying water, the only sound that pounded in his ears. Thump, thump, thump.
The silence had reigned since he opened his eyes. After being plagued by noise all his pitiful life, the absence… unsettled him. Just moments ago, the research center had been consumed by clamors of anger that popped his ears, but now they were no more, vanished into nothing, just as quickly as they had appeared, just like she had. Like she had.
Rocks dug into his skin. Sweat dripped off his brow, falling into his eyes, the rain doing little to wash it away. Still, he pressed on.
He had woken up alone. There was no other body to be found. Which meant there was no one to restrain him.
He didn’t even think twice.
His mind had narrowed onto one goal. A goal he must accomplish. By any means necessary.
Come on, come on. Just a little more. A little more, and maybe I can still reach—
“And just where, pray, do you think you are going…?”
Before his foot could land again, Caleb’s limbs suddenly snapped into place by his sides, locked and unable to move, making him lose balance. Next thing he knew, his body hit the wet dirt chest-first, knocking the wind out of his lungs.
He attempted to lift his head, but it was too heavy. He strained his eyes to the end of his peripheral vision, glancing over to his shoulder. A dart stuck out of his neck. A paralyzer?
He struggled a bit more to look even further past his shoulder. He caught a glimpse of a man, although he was limited to the view of his pants, and could not see any clear features through the pouring rain.
His body began to shake, tingles racing up and down his arms and legs. A side effect? Or something else?
No, he had felt this before. But only one man had really ever made him feel this way. He knew that, but still could not recall who this man had been.
What did they call him again…?
The man took a step forward, then another, heels crunching gravel, until his shoes stopped right beside his fallen body. “If this silly attempt is because of 001, I’m afraid she is long gone. There is no way she could’ve survived the blast.”
He doesn’t know.
He must never know.
A screech echoed in the distance. Caleb’s eyes swept over to the noise, then turned back as the man crouched down, lowering his face to Caleb’s, and Caleb was finally able to make out who he was as his features solidified with the new proximity. “I can’t afford to lose time here, standing around. I have no desire to get hunted by a Wanderer or shot by a stray bullet. But imagine my surprise when, along my journey, I see a familiar boy running far from the research center. Now, I can’t just simply allow precious cargo to escape. You see, you’re my greatest masterpiece, and it would be too much of a waste to have you slip out of my grasp.”
A twitch echoed across the boy’s fingers, until he was able to fully curl them towards his palms. He jerked a shoulder, trying to at least separate an arm from his side…
The man suddenly reached out, grabbing the arm he had been trying to set free, and stood up, yanking it apart. The man proceeded to drop the arm, watching it thud back to the ground with a dull splash, then stomped.
A sickening crunch filled the air.
“How wonderful it would be,” the Professor continued, pressing his foot down harder, “if I replaced your parts, one by one, with pure machine. You’d retain your human consciousness, of course, but nothing about your body would be human. You’d be unstoppable, able to do as you please, with no limits, and no more flaws. That is how I shall achieve immortality and save the human race. And you, my greatest masterpiece, will be at the head of it all. Thanks to the progress we’ve made with you, and with the existence of Wanderers, we’ll be able to expand our subjects. Imagine what we could do with all those Protocores… you won’t have to worry about being weak and tossed aside ever again, because you will be on our side. The right side. Any remaining doubts you once had will vanish for good.”
“Get off me!” Caleb screamed, pulling at his arm. Pain, so much pain. Sharp prickles exploded up from his wrist to his shoulder, consuming his entire limb. He wanted to just get rid of the whole thing. If he got rid of it, he wouldn’t have to feel this pain anymore, would he?
“Surely you still don’t harbor delusions about 001. Even if she were somehow still alive, you two were never made for the same path. You’re from different worlds. But I assure you, our world is the better one. Come with us quietly, and we’ll show you what it means to be a winner, what true strength—what true power—is.” The man tilted his head, gently rubbing his foot over the arm that was now bent at an inverted angle, “Has anyone ever told you the values of family? Children need to obey their parents. Family sticks together, and doesn’t leave anyone behind. 001 left you behind. I am your real family now, and as long as you do not run from me, you will be taken care of very well.”
Caleb squeezed his eyes shut. As much as he wanted to yell that it wasn’t true, he wasn’t in any position to do so. There was some truth to that. She did leave him, and he had no idea where she could have gone, or even if she was alive. What if he never saw her again? There would be no point in anything, then.
He just… wanted to be free. He hated how limited he was—in power, in body. He often found himself wishing he was more like the winged beasts that loomed in the sky, the predator instead of the prey, with no need to think or feel of anything else except for finding the next kill.
But most of all, he hated how she was always ahead of him, and he was always behind, unable to protect her or keep her close.
He didn’t want to be abandoned again.
Didn’t want to be helpless again.
If fighting back only ever caused him more pain, held him back, made him weak, made him disposable… perhaps he needed a different strategy. If he could grasp onto the power the man offered him, used it to protect himself and her, so they were never hurt again, maybe… maybe that really was his best option.
Caleb sucked in a breath. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice. He never had a choice. So maybe it was better to start going along with everything, to let go, if it meant finding a better opportunity later on.
So Caleb stopped squirming. He retreated back into the emptiness of his mind, into that dark nurtured space where only rage and resentment laid. He focused on it, allowing himself to be swallowed by it, to keep him grounded. Then he let it go, casting it off into the wind, until there was nothing, and he was floating, flying.
Avoiding the man’s gaze, he urged the words from his lips, “I’m sorry. I promise I won’t run away again, F-Father…”
He could feel the man’s stare lingering on his broken and frail frame. Caleb fought off the horrible inclination to twitch, laying as still as possible. He could not reveal any nerves here. One nerve, and it could cost him his life. Both of their lives. This was not only for his sake, but also for her sake, always for her.
Finally, Caleb felt the weight on his arm lift away. Despite the freedom, his arm did not budge. It couldn’t budge. The limb might as well not exist. The pain wouldn’t stop eating away at his arm, severing off all senses. He hadn’t even noticed any of the drops that had coated his arm in the meanwhile.
“Smart boy,” the man hummed with praise. Then clucked his tongue, as if to indicate mock sympathy. “Too bad about the arm, though. We’ll have to mend it when we get back.”
Grabbing his uninjured arm, the man pulled Caleb back up to his feet. Caleb coughed, stumbling into his stomach. He pushed Caleb away, giving him a single pat on his shoulder, but his lip was curled back as he released a noise of disgust. He dragged the boy to a black vehicle that had been parked nearby, shoving him into the back where the door had already been open, lying in wait for him.
Caleb spared one last glance outside. Along the distant horizon, he swore he could see a black-red mist, fading away, fluttering along the wind like wings. It oddly reminded him of the winged beasts. His stomach leaped, longing to join them. But he squashed the wish deep down, and before the Professor could catch on, he averted his gaze.
The car door slammed shut behind him, blocking him off from the sky once more, concealing behind tinted glass the zig zag streaks of light that made the vast night glow. And with that final click, so were also shut down the last of his hopes.
The man had not come alone. Caleb found himself in the middle of two other men, one sitting on each side of him. But these men didn’t wear the thin, white lab coats like all the other researchers had. Instead, they were dressed in thick, long, dark coats that ended at the ankles, with colored stripes on their chests, medals shining against the dim light that came from top of the car. Their eyes were veiled by black hats embroidered with silver winged crests. In their arms were long silver barrels that carried a purple charge around them. It reminded him of the weapon he saw the silhouette with red eyes hold.
“Do you have everything ready?” the man demanded.
One of the hats nodded. “We are prepared to attack any Wanderers or criminals who come our way as you command, Professor.”
“Good. See to it that you put those Protocore weapons into proper use. We’ll make our way back to the research center. Check for other… survivors and survey the situation.” The Professor looked into the rearview mirror, his eyes meeting Caleb’s. He smiled at him. “Are you fascinated? These two are from my private elite force. They are my closest personnel. Someday, you’ll join them.”
From their exchange, Caleb could tell they seemed to know more than the research center ever had. If he joined them, he would never be left in the dark again. Perhaps, he had finally found his own wings, even if it was a different breed. He smiled back. “It would be an honor, Father.”
He was going to make him regret giving him that knowledge.
***
“Here you are, idling around, not being able to keep an eye on a single boy. How did you possibly manage to lose him for days? He didn’t even get far, with the current state of things,” the Professor scoffed. At his side, he was pulling on Caleb’s uninjured arm. Caleb kept his gaze turned away, finding more interest in the rubble around them. The center had all but crumbled to practically nothing, only the glass chamber still standing empty and broken in the middle of the rubble, the only remaining evidence that the girl had existed at all, a reminder of what had happened that day. Caleb gritted his teeth.
It had long stopped raining. Some of the researchers were strewn about the debris, shaded by what little remained of the ceiling, cleaning up the mess, although that seemed to only be a futile endeavor. There was just too much debris, and only a few machines remained. Documents had been scattered all over the broken floor, in various stages of damage. One of the researchers, who seemed to be commanding them, turned at the Professor’s voice. Seeing Caleb, her hands flew straight to her mouth as the legs underneath her shook, struggling to keep herself upright. “002…!”
“Congratulations, it appears your experiments proved somewhat useful after all. They’re responsible for the boy surviving the blast and lasting on his own in the wild, aren’t they?” The Professor gazed at Caleb, his cold eyes gleaming. “This will make headway for our future plans.”
“Great,” another man said, throwing his hands in the air. The man that Caleb recognized to be the girl’s murderer. He would never forget that face again. “Now that that’s all settled, since you’re here, you may as well help us rebuild. We require a lot of repairs, as you can see, and it’s been a hassle trying to take care of everything ourselves, since we seem to be down a few people now…”
The Professor blinked. When the man continued to stare, waiting for a response, the Professor widened his eyes. “Oh, you are mistaken. Dr. Yu, was it? Now that 001 is dead, your services are no longer needed. EVER has already decided to cut all ties with your center. The surrounding area has become too corrupted. There is no point in saving something that is broken beyond repair. Associating with you would only bring us legal trouble, a liability we can’t afford. Our new facilities will take over your job and provide us with much better results.”
“…What?” Dr. Yu said. Then charged forward, grabbing for the Professor’s collar. He pulled him close. “We did everything for you. Now you’re replacing us? What happened to our deal, that if we did what you asked, we would be guaranteed a spot in the next world? What about our protection? That’s the only reason why we went along with all these other illegal experiments, and now you’re even disregarding Gaia as a whole? I knew you couldn’t be trusted…!”
As Dr. Yu raised his voice, the soldiers that had been by the Professor’s side stepped forward, aiming their weapons at the man. Dr. Yu hurriedly backed off, placing his arms in front of him, warding them off. The Professor watched on with disinterest, fixing his collar. “Now, if you are quite finished, I will be taking the boy with me as well. Since you clearly cannot handle him, he would be best off in my care.”
“Wait,” the woman stepped forward. “Is it truly wise to bring him with you? The polar night seems to have made 002 unstable. The Catastrophe started when he used his Evol to fight you. After successfully creating a black hole, he can create more, powerful ones if he truly wished to harm you. That would only inconvenience you even more. We should be the ones to take responsibility and pay for our mistakes.”
The Professor narrowed his eyes. “Do you expect me to fall for that drivel?”
The woman swallowed, clearing her throat. “I’m just saying it wouldn’t be wise to have him close by when the Catastrophe is still ripe. Right now, he’d only be a liability to you, just like us. Perhaps you should put him somewhere else, just for a little while, before taking him back. You could even place him in one of your own facilities if you don’t trust us.”
The Professor hummed, stroking his chin. “I suppose it would be problematic if something unexpected were to happen… and I especially can’t let anything hinder my plans of expanding my family. He’s not the only child I’ll be bringing into the fold. Yes. It would be best to… let him cool off before reintroducing him to the others, for my own sake. And he can get a head start on adjusting to society at a proper shelter. With EVER funding some of the shelters, adopting one child can be good for the public image. Very well. He shall be placed in a shelter for the time being. We’ll make the arrangements. In the meantime, he’s in your care.”
The Professor clutched onto Caleb’s shoulder, bending down to whisper in his ear. “Don’t think this means you got away scot-free. Trust is earned. This is the time to prove yourself to me. Be my eyes. Root out any weaknesses. Gaia is up to something, and you’re going to be the one who reveals it all to me.”
So that was why he had agreed to the strange request. He had caught a whiff of something. Amateurs. Caleb wouldn’t let himself slip as easily. Not again, not after it had risked him everything. This time, he was going to fully grasp onto the survival offered to him and not let go. Caleb cocked his head. “What’s in it for me? You’re the only one who would benefit from that deal. If I do this, then you must promise me something in return. As long as you can guarantee I’ll remain your best, that no one will take my spot, I’ll do as you say, in exchange for your power and intel.”
“That depends on how you behave, and if someone else more worthy comes along. If you don’t wish to be replaced, then I suggest you do everything you can to retain my attention,” the Professor raised an eyebrow at him, squeezing his injured shoulder tightly. Caleb winced. “Don’t forget, I will come back to collect you one day in the future. Until then, I am always watching you, so don’t do anything out of line, because I’ll know. If you know what’s best for you, you’ll do as I say, with or without promise.”
“I look forward to the day,” Caleb said simply, but his tone was lifeless.
With that, the Professor turned on his heel and left, followed by his soldiers not too far behind. Before he got back into his car, he looked over his shoulder. “Oh, yes. Fix that boy’s arm while you’re at it, too.”
The door slammed and the tires screeched off. All the researchers seemed to let out a collective breath.
The woman rushed forward, her hand trembling, patting down his whole body. Caleb flinched when her hand rested on his injured arm. She cupped his face, but her touch wasn’t as cold as he thought it would be. Maybe he had just grown accustomed to it. “Don’t just stand there! Someone, help him!”
The researchers scrambled. They had been carrying emergency medical supplies, perhaps in the event that they recovered any other missing persons. But the lack of medical staff implied that they did not expect to be too successful, or haven’t been successful, given that it had already been days. Or maybe that was due to the recent lack of funds. The woman grabbed some bandages and began wrapping it around his injured arm.
“We’ll need to take you to an infirmary to get it properly treated. But this should hold for now,” the woman said. “I have no idea what you were thinking, getting yourself into danger like that. I’ve been worried sick. Now you’ve caught yourself in something that you can’t ever go back from…”
She sighed, shaking her head. When Caleb didn’t respond, she looked up at him. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
“What for? It’s not like you ever did anything for me to be grateful towards you.” He wasn’t going to show gratitude to the person who got him into this mess in the first place. She stared at him, then suddenly he felt a pain pinch his arm as she applied too much pressure. He winced at the touch.
The woman clucked her tongue. “Don’t be like that. She could still be out there somewhere. It’s possible that she had escaped in time—”
“Even if she had, I don’t know where she is, or if I’ll ever see her again,” Caleb interrupted, not wanting to hear any more. “She might as well be dead. That’s the price for being weak.”
“Is that why you’re doing this? Going along with the Professor?”
Caleb turned his head away from her searching gaze. “My constant failures to follow the status quo were all because I let her hold too much emotion over me. She is only a distraction. Isn’t that what you’ve taught me? If I wish to survive and achieve my goal, then I need to start by getting rid of my weaknesses. Once I do that, then I can protect myself with the power I always longed to have. If she does ever show up again… I can’t let myself get too close. Or history will repeat itself.”
The woman closed her eyes. “Then you must do your best to retain his attention and be the perfect golden boy, as the Professor told you.”
Caleb fixed his gaze back on her. “I plan on it.”
“It’s not going to be easy…” she finished wrapping up the bandages. “Are you sure about this?”
“Do you see any other option? I have nowhere else to go, no one else to lean on,” Caleb shook his arm, testing the hold of the makeshift cast. “Does it even matter, then, what I do now? If she's gone, then there’s no point in acting a certain way for her. I’ll do whatever it takes to survive, to achieve my purpose. Even if it leads to my self-destruction. Because, at the very least, one of us will still be able to live on.”
He stood up. As he did so, his gaze instinctively shifted to the direction of a place he had become so familiar with at the lab. He could see the shattered remains of glass, what had once been his source of comfort. He swallowed back a strange vibration in his throat, his eyes stinging.
While it was barely recognizable now, based on the little ruins that remained, he could tell someone had been on the other side of that wall after all.
Caleb took his first step forward, and as he did so, a tiny sprout had begun to grow. A round burst of bright red poked out from the pocket of green, glowing like a gem, the only color among the endless dark debris and sky. Silvergem.
The first gift he had ever received. It was almost enough to make hope bloom in his chest once more.
***
Caleb sat in an infirmary. The white walls and thin padded bed reminded him too much of his previous cell, and he decided then that he hated hospitals just as much.
While the doctors had treated his arm, he had undergone other tests. A stream of never-ending terms flitted in and out of his ears. A fever. Broken arm. Dissociative amnesia. Prosopagnosia. Personality disorder. Nerve damage and inflammation. Tinnitus. He understood none of it.
The infirmary had apparently been some sort of subsidiary with Gaia, where all the researchers were currently hiding. He heard the researchers mention a “Catastrophe” now and then, as for that being the reason why they hid, although Caleb didn’t bother to remember the specifics to that either.
As the days passed, his time at the lab growing further away, his arm healed but his memories got foggier. He had the crippling fear that he was starting to forget what the girl looked like, what she sounded like, how they met. She began to feel unreal, a figment of his imagination, a mysterious figure in his past that he could not quite place.
It was honestly laughable. She had always been the balm to his soul. The one thing that helped him make better sense of the world he was often confused by, the only one that could sharpen his senses and clear out the rest of the annoying clutter. But at the same time, while it was true she kept him grounded and prevented him from flying too far away, she also drove him mad. Whenever she wasn’t near, whenever she forgot him. She was like a disease that had clouded his mind, but a disease he fully embraced. Whether he liked it or not, their lives were intertwined, and he could not imagine a life without her.
So now that he was actually facing a life without her… a darkness was creeping in, consuming him. His mind could not survive being apart from the one person who knew how to calm him down. It sought her out. He frantically clung onto anything he could remember, not wanting her, or everything they had been through together, to disappear. He had been lonely before, but now it was eating him alive, chewing slowly at his flesh. He never wanted to experience separation again.
If he had to, then he would be the one to leave her behind first. He would choose to forget her on his own. Because at least then, it would be his own choice, and not something out of his control. He would do it to protect himself, and only if it would also protect her.
Did that make him a hypocrite? He didn’t care. He only hoped he could manage to pull it off successfully when the time came.
The woman who had brought him here always spoke to the same three doctors. Close acquaintances of hers, it would seem. One of them was an older man, around her age or older, he would assume. The other two were a man and a woman, who looked considerably younger, their hair not yet gray. The man and woman seemed close, always near each other, their fingers touching at their proximity. Caleb had the thought that maybe if things had gone right, that would’ve been what he and the girl would have been like.
Flashes still played through his head, faint memories seemingly from another world, where it was easier to imagine. But he knew how it all ended, and it was that knowledge that had caused his fear, that had led him to the choices he had made, in the chance to alter that fate, to give him time.
He would not let them get to her… not before he did. He would always be first, first, first.
The three doctors had left. They never stuck around for long and were always traveling between hospitals, from what the older woman had told him. The other researchers were never far from his side, though, always lingering around.
At some point one of them had turned the TV on.
“Evols, once a rarity, have been sprouting up more recently as of late, most likely due to the event now known as the Chronorift Catastrophe, shifting the balance inside humans with its spatial oddities. Evols have become more valued now than ever before, as there is evidence that suggests Evols can help in fighting back the monsters…”
“The figure we have dubbed as Lumiere, presumably male, has been making progress with the monsters. Numerous others have joined the effort in quelling the Catastrophe, but there is no clear sign of it yet ending… do your best to stay indoors and seek shelter.”
“EVER, a rising leader of Deepspace and Lemurian research, has especially been aiding the disaster. Professor Lucius Lu, one of their main researchers and the director of their newly founded Toring Cybernetics Institute, is now hosting a press conference on the behalf of the corporation."
The screen switched to the Professor standing on a podium. Thousands of lights beamed down on him, pronouncing the contours of his face, as he spoke.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the public,” he began. “EVER has decided to dub these monsters as Wanderers, creatures that wander through space and time. Our research has discovered that their hearts, known as Protocores, are highly valuable, but close contact with these aliens can sometimes cause… issues. Exposure can cause one’s heart to become part of a Protocore itself. We will call this phenomenon Protocore Syndrome. But do not fret. EVER will actively search for a cure, and encourage any victims to come through our doors, where we will be sure to help you through this disease.”
“In addition, EVER has begun creating weapons that combine Evol technology and Protocore energy. We have discovered that these weapons can effectively kill Wanderers, and will be important in protecting the public.”
“Furthermore, EVER would like to make an announcement. We have decided to transform the land that has separated from the Earth amid the gravity changes caused by the Catastrophe into our own project. Project Skyhaven. This floating island will become an inhabitable town, the new home of our Space Force: the Aerospace Academy, the Deepspace Aviation Administration, and our Space Fleets. As you know, the government has publicly revealed their long hidden military branches to investigate Deepspace and eliminate Wanderers for a brighter future and is actively training recruits. Only the elite can join our cause and guide the world to salvation.”
“We will be waiting… for you.”
With that last parting remark, the Professor looked straight at the camera, straight at Caleb. Caleb shuddered.
The TV narrowed in on that image and blinked black. The older woman held the remote in her hands and placed it back on the stand. “That’s enough of that.”
“Perhaps not everything Dr. Yu said was complete nonsense after all,” a man mused. “EVER seems to have already planned all of this out. How long have they known? How did they know what the monsters were? Did we truly hide anything from them, or were they the ones hiding everything from us?”
“It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done,” the woman said. “We need to figure out what we’ll do now, now that Gaia is gone.”
“Well, I’ve already decided what I’m doing,” the man said. “I will continue my research into Evol modification, but I’m planning on extending that research into Wanderer modification. There’s so much we don’t know yet, but maybe I can find a way to control them…”
The woman scoffed. “And how are you going to achieve that? It’s too dangerous. You know EVER would be after the same thing. They probably even figured that part out already themselves. They won’t let you have the same information.”
“I’ve found a backer,” the man whispered. “He has promised to give me the means to do my research, and already guaranteed me protection from EVER. I am not sure if he’s trustworthy, but…”
The door to the room burst open, and another man waltzed through. The man that Caleb made sure to always remember from now on, lest he decided to finally take his revenge someday. The list that seemed to only ever be growing these days.
The man gestured grandly to them. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t trust anyone nowadays. Now that EVER has casted us aside, the whole of UNICORN has disbanded, too afraid of retaliation. The other research teams have gone off somewhere else. I’ve heard rumors that Raymond from the Lemurian sector has gone off to head a new research institute called Xander Sciences, with the help of EVER, after stealing some of the research we had used from that island experiment. We’ve officially been replaced. The only option we have left now is to choose other sides for our survival and hope it’s enough to shield us from EVER.”
“So what are you doing then, Dr. Yu?” the woman rolled her eyes.
“Isn’t it obvious, Dr. Zhang? I’m gonna rebuild Gaia myself,” Dr. Yu pounded his chest.
“You?” the other man scoffed. “Why even bother? It’s all been reduced to rubble. And the streets have become riddled with crime ever since the Catastrophe started. EVER has seen to it that the world sees Gaia as a lost cause. No one would take it on.”
“I refuse to go anywhere else. Someone should stay behind. It is our life’s work. It’s where I belong. I won’t let it rot,” Dr. Yu hissed. Then smiled. “You’re not the only one with a new backer. I made a deal with someone. Someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. Someone better than even your backer, I’m sure. He’ll help me achieve my dream at last.”
“You’re an idiot,” the man shook his head.
“And what would you know?” Dr. Yu scowled.
The man gave a smile of his own. “More than you do, I would imagine.”
The man stared at Dr. Yu for a long time. Eventually, Dr. Yu paled.
Dr. Zhang frowned, glancing between the two. “Do you perhaps both have the same—”
A tall mysterious silhouette clothed in black, with silver hair and crimson eyes, his pants soaked in blood, his gun covered in glass, surrounded by mist, curling at his back like ominous wings, much like the Wanderers, came to mind. The woman shook her head. “Nevermind. None of my business. That would be absurd.”
Dr. Yu huffed. “I’m heading back now. Do whatever you want.”
The door closed behind him once more.
“Such a handful,” the man shook his head. “What are you going to do, Josephine?”
Dr. Zhang bit her lip. “I… I’ll be taking the research on 001 with me.”
The man’s eyes widened. “Josephine…”
“I know the risk,” she snapped. “That’s why I’m doing it. Everyone else thinks 001 must have died. I believe otherwise. I’ll continue to find her. EVER does not yet know about the Aether Core or the lost fragments. They can’t ever know. She’s the missing link that EVER must never get their hands on, or else they’ll be able to achieve whatever it is they are scheming, and I know they don’t actually have anyone’s best interest at heart now. So I’ll hide it, I’ll hide all the research we’ve done on her. EVER currently has no interest about 001 and it must remain that way. But if they somehow find out the truth, if they somehow go after us… maybe, they’ll just go after me. A captain must go down with their ship, after all.”
“I know better than anyone that there’s no changing your mind once it’s been made up,” the man sighed. “I can only wish you the best of luck.”
Dr. Zhang softly smiled. “Same to you, Philip.”
***
After some time, Caleb’s arm fully healed.
Several bodies surrounded him, and the room was filled with a cacophony of noise.
The woman clapped her hands, commanding attention from everyone else. “As we all know, the Gaia Research Center has been destroyed and the surrounding area has become a danger zone considered not even worth helping by the government. As a result, EVER has pulled all funding and abandoned us. 001 is missing, presumed dead. The only thing we can do now is send 002 to a shelter, as instructed by EVER, who will continue to keep tabs on him and observe—”
“We need a name for him. He can’t just be sent to the shelter as 002 or with no name. That would raise suspicions.”
The woman opened her mouth to speak, but before she could—
“Caleb,” he interjected. He had been silent this whole time, but now he spoke. “My name is Caleb. Yizhou.”
He could still remember the day she had given him that name, as clear as ever. The only memory that still burned bright in his memory.
She had called him warm. But he had thought that description couldn’t be further from the truth. He had wanted to tell her, You’re the one who’s warm.
But now he would never be able to tell her that, would he?
They were supposed to always be together… always. But she was already gone, so what was the point of them being together if it could never happen? The more time had passed without her, the more it felt like his soul was leaving him, being drained out of him little by little. This loneliness was more intense, more deep seated than the loneliness he had felt while at the lab, because at least then, he knew she was there, even if he couldn’t always see or hear.
The least they could do was let him keep the name she had given him. The only thing he had left to remember her by, before he forgot her entirely.
The researchers glanced at each other, eyebrows raised.
“All right… Caleb. But you still need a surname.”
Caleb tilted his head. He didn’t know what that was.
“A second name. That proves your origin,” a researcher offered. “What goes well with—“
“Xia,” the woman whispered. “Yizhou for summer. Xia for daytime. Summer days. Associated with Eve from the Bible. Just like his creation.”
“So we’ll send him to the shelter as Xia Yizhou. English name Caleb Xia.”
They gave him an identity. But it still felt like he was the same shell being pulled by their strings. An illusion of autonomy.
***
At some point, Caleb had found himself in a shelter. He could not recall the details of how he had gotten there, any more than could he recall any other moments of his past, which were quickly fleeing as the days got further and further away. The only memory that still remained somewhat clear was a girl, although her features too had started to disappear, and it was getting harder to hold onto the image of a blur.
He had convinced himself that he would never see her again. Maybe she was dead. Or maybe she was alive, but it was better for her to stay away, anyway, else she got caught up in another mess. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, tolerate her being in any more danger because of him. If she was gone, he should forget her for good, so that he didn’t have to worry so much about her ever again.
Until one day…
“A girl arrived the other day. We had tried asking for her name, but she refused to give us any, and she won’t allow us to give her a name. She said she was waiting for someone else. But she has no other memory. It is clear that the girl must be alone. She must be at least seven or eight years old, that much we know.”
“Isn’t it… strange? First, that one… Now, another child…”
Caleb paused. He had been looking at the sky, watching the planes fly by, wondering when it would be his turn. Nowadays, that was the only thing that kept him going by. As he did so, he was mindlessly fiddling with toy cars. The toy cars had been floating in the air around him, but now they stilled, frozen in midair. If he could have it his way, he wouldn’t be wasting his time with such foolishness, but they didn’t have any airplanes here, or anything else worth of stimulating interest, so he made do.
He breathed in deeply, his heart pounding against his chest, echoing in his ears. His fingers twitched. The cars instantly crashed back to the ground, splattering into different pieces that flew every which way. He stared at the broken bits for a long time.
Caleb had the habit of breaking every toy he touched. Maybe part of the real reason why the shelter didn’t have much, was because of that.
The nearby conversation had cut off as the adults flinched at the mess. They always seemed to cower around him. None had ever dared to get close to him. That part was nothing new.
All adults were the same, no matter where he went.
“You’re too loud,” Caleb said. “I don’t want to hear any mention of this girl.”
He pivoted on his heel to head back inside.
“Caleb, wait!” one of them shouted after him. “Would you like to see the girl? You haven’t met her yet, so it’s too soon to be making judgments…”
Caleb stopped in his tracks. He tilted his head, as if considering, then swung his gaze over his shoulder. “I have no interest in playing with lesser children.”
He never once paid any mind to the other children. Why should he? He couldn’t recognize or remember any of their faces. They had no upstanding qualities. He didn’t feel as connected to them, for none of them were her. And she was the only person he cared about. Had cared about. Or so he thought.
As his figure disappeared, the adults shivered. “Something is wrong with that boy. His eyes are so… empty.”
“Ever since he was brought here, he glares at all the adults and brushes off the other children with a cold shoulder. He doesn’t know how to be anything other than detached and callous. He probably doesn’t even know what emotions even are. I feel bad for whoever finally does catch his interest.”
Caleb opened the doors to the run-down shelter. It was a far cry from the pristine research center, or whatever left of it that still existed in his memory. He had no idea why he had been placed here and not anywhere else, but part of him hoped that no one would find him again. Surely, with all the wealth they’ve carried, they would eventually forget about something so out of the way and poor. Just like how he would forget them. His perfect little hiding spot.
As he sighed, something zoomed towards him. He had only just processed the breeze that swished his hair back when something heavy collided into him.
It was just like…
“There you are!” a familiar high-pitched squeak tickled his ears. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”
The air rushed out of his lungs. Time had rolled to a stop once more. The world had suddenly become so bright.
Could this girl really be…?
“I’ve heard so much about you! I’ve already met everybody else, but no one would let me see you! They insisted you weren’t fit to greet anyone. I still got curious though, so I’ve been waiting to catch you when you were alone…”
The girl clinging to his neck overlapped with the faint image of the girl from his vague memories. It seemed like it could have been her, but he wasn’t sure, and a deep part of him actually hoped that they were not the same person.
Because if she truly had come back, then did that mean…
“By the way, what’s your name?”
Caleb’s lips parted, a breath of air escaping them.
Of course.
Just like that, something inside of him shattered. Memories came and gone, flashing past quicker than he can grasp onto. It was like turning off a TV, blinking black, into nothingness, sealing away all colorful images. Caleb swallowed.
He envied her. Envied how easy it was for her to forget. He wished he could forget her as easily as she had always forgotten him, again and again.
Because if she was here, if she was alive, then that also meant she hadn’t been able to get away, and being with him would only drag her back into the hell they had tried to escape.
It would mean that Caleb had to push her away again, because this was a world that was cruel and pitted them against each other, forcing them to get rid of each other, but Caleb rather wished she was already dead, already far out of his reach, before he even had the chance.
Coming back not only cemented her own hell, but his, for he was weak, and he didn’t want to see the light fade from her eyes again, but this time because of him.
He closed his eyes, squeezing them, hoping if he opened them again, she would vanish. But also hoping that she wouldn’t.
He imagined himself, far back, in a room filled with darkness. There was only a single light, beaming down on something in front of him.
“002, EVER has instructed us to start sharpening your survival and fighting instincts.”
He hadn’t understood the mission at first. He had thought, the creature was just as lonely as him, so why not reach a hand towards it? Something to pass the time by, when he couldn’t see her at all. The creature had reminded him of her. Fragile. Delicate. Trapped.
“002, you are not supposed to grow attached to other living things. Your only purpose is to—”
No, no… don’t make me do it…!
Caleb had learned the hard way that compassion only got oneself killed. Ever since that day, he knew a part of him had broken, a part of him he could never get back, or perhaps he never had that part in the first place, only wanting to believe he did for her sake. Maybe a part of him had always relished in power and strength. By preying on the weak, he stayed strong. He had lost count of how many objects he had destroyed, how many tiny lives he had taken.
He was forced to compete to survive. It had become so ingrained that at some point, he began to believe in that philosophy himself. That he had to get stronger to survive, that the only way he could get stronger was to let her go. What use did he have for her if she was always going to leave him behind? It would be better if he left her behind first, if he sided with the strong to avoid being abandoned at all, because at least he would still have… some sort of family, support to protect himself. And if he let her go, made them think he was the better option, they’d see no reason to take her in as well, securing his own spot.
Perhaps that was why he was how he was. He had to become a monster to protect himself. It was how he would end his powerlessness once and for all.
His plan had been to shield her. Get rid of his weakness. Two birds, one stone. But now that she was back in his arms…
He was not sure.
Could he really push her away?
Weak, so weak. You never learn.
His hands were made to crush. But yes, he would learn to be gentle for her, because now he had a greater purpose, something to protect, and he was going to try his damn best not to screw it up this time.
He was going to hang tight and never let go. He could manage both tasks. Why not?
Slowly, finally, Caleb shakily brought his hands up above her back, and wrapped them around the girl like a devil’s embrace. Maybe this was wrong. Maybe he was only sealing their fate, and staying together would only end with suffocating them both. But he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. He didn’t want to be alone again.
And if she had followed him all the way here, maybe deep down, she wanted to suffer with him anyways.
He never really knew her. The times he had seen her were scarce, and he had never fully been able to get as close to her as he wanted, always some level of distance between them no matter how hard he tried to cross that bridge.
This was the first time he was meeting her properly, outside an experiment, with no bars between them any longer.
He would never let there be bars between them again.
He’d always chase after her, no matter how often they were dragged apart, no matter where she went, where she hid… he’d always come back to her. He’d make sure of it.
Would she fly away again, or stay with him, forever?
Caleb’s eyes stung. His voice shook as he spoke, somewhere between a sob and a laugh. “That’s okay… it’s okay. You don’t need to remember anything. The only thing you need to remember is that… my name is Caleb.”
“Caleb?” the girl tilted her head, confusion in her eyes, yet it seemed tears had come unbidden in her own eyes, as if some deep part of her recognized his words.
He nodded his head, clutching onto her. “Yes, that’s right. And if you ever forget again, I’ll just continue to remind you, like always. Until the day comes when you finally don’t forget. From now on, I’ll never leave your side.”
And so what if she forgot again, and never remembered? That was for the best. It always was. None of that was important anymore.
It didn’t matter what their past was. To him, this moment was now the first moment they met, the start of their new free lives together.
Side note: There's something quite humbling about this because all my recent fics are Haladriel because I didn't write anything at all for about 7 years, and apparently when I fixate on something I really fixate on something. But picking 10 of the 14 fics is quite something in terms of ego because, even though I am still not entirely happy with my skills, there seems to be an improvement of sorts and I truly didn't enjoy reading the earlier ones haha. Also, I say "all" Haladriel but one of these is actually Adar/Sauron as well!
And sorry to the couple of Loki mutuals I've tagged, I've not got any recent Loki fic published (that's hopefully changing soon!)
Rules: share the first lines of ten of your latest fanfics (or up to if you have less!) & tag 10 people.
Under blue moon, I saw you - Modern AU/Music Festival AU (Galadriel and Halbrand are in rival bands.)
Dreams of a lush green field stretched and floated away in wisps of light, the grey and white of a familiar A-road slowly flickering into focus. The cool glass of the minibus window was insistent against her cheek, her view partially obscured by a smear courtesy of her nose.
Galadriel wiggled her toes, numb and pressed against the end of new trainers foolishly worn, and batted away the hand curled upon her shoulder. Melian Maia had shaken her awake, her array of bracelets tinkling beside Galadriel’s ear.
2. Inferno - The Rings of Power Canon Divergence. Galadriel breaks out of Adar's camp and confronts Sauron too early; twisty nightmarish mindfuckery (in all senses, including extremely dubious consent) ensues courtesy of Annatar.
“What did he promise you?”
The question weighs heavily on her, threatening to pry open the trapdoor under which she has stuffed the desires enflamed by a lie.
And so she speaks another falsehood this moment, detached and choking back a scoff as the words leave her mouth “an army.”
A smile flickers at the corner of Adar’s mouth, his urge to tell his story outweighing the scepticism he plainly displays. He bares his soul, each confession a knife of familiarity to her own heart.
She has felt such things too, still feels them. Each step she takes to escape the labyrinth of his deception loops another string around her spirit; every effort she makes to escape exposes the rawness of her hurt, her people in turmoil and her soul branded.
3. Break You Down - TROP and LOTRs canon-mixing/Third Age Canon Divergence. Galadriel accepts the One Ring from Frodo and uses it to resurrect Sauron, essentially turning him into her slave (there is also Sauron/Galadriel/Celeborn in this fic but only for one chapter. I imagine this is why it was a little unloved.)
There was a twisted root he considered daily, such was the monotony of captivity. He knew every knot, every split along the wood and regularly turned this gnarled shape around within his mind; it had been enough time now that he could produce its exact likeness from memory. He could repair it, perfect it, even improve and prevent the rot that covertly spread within this dank, dark place.
4. Some Calm Before the Storm - During Canon/slight Canon Divergence tooth-rotting FLUFF in TROP S1 continuity. Halbrand takes Galadriel on a day-long date in Númenor.
“You really must stop eating those,” Galadriel huffs.
Again she hears Halbrand rummaging through paper at her side, his fingers searching the bottom of the bag he has been clutching since they began their pleasant seaside stroll. “Says who?” he asks, shovelling another handful into his mouth “I’m enjoying them” he mumbles between bites, small crumbs dusting the front of his tunic.
5. Had I The Heavens' Embroidered Cloths - Canon Mixing (uses TROP, LOTRs and elements of The Silmarillion) and Canon Divergence set across the Second, Third and Fourth Age. In stabbing Galadriel with Morgoth's Crown, Sauron created a bond between the two enemies that will endure for centuries. (Probably the fic I am currently most proud of writing.)
Spring has always been her favourite season, especially now she dwells alone. The longer daylight hours, the warmer sun; it is the hope for rebirth and renewal. With each passing year this bright and blooming spell forms a greater significance in her heart; her isolation is long but she knows the return of the light signifies that better days will come.
She tends her orchard, satisfied that her fruits are ripening unimpeded. Next she kneels before each of her flowerbeds, turning the soil, ensuring the nutrients are evenly spread among the colourful life that blooms.
It is a moment that changes everything, her trowel clattering to the ground after she glimpses the porcelain of her left arm peeking beneath her flowing white dress.
6. Not By Degrees But All At Once - TROP continuity with The Silm/Fall of Númenor referenced. Character study where Galadriel senses the destruction of Sauron's physical form and thinks back to her time before she knew Halbrand's true identity.
The world is changing and she feels it. A great wave from a vision long-buried, the stormy waters swallowing the island, washing away life both innocent and culpable, but also swirling around the shadows of her grief.
Something strikes at her, a sense of foreboding, an acceptance of death. Her book falls from her grasp, pages splayed and spine cracking against the floor.
7. The Ruin of Our Sin - Post-War of the Ring Canon Divergence using TROP continuity. You know the expression "bring the house down"? It's like that, but literally; and with magical powers and ghost sex.
She required nothing but her wits and her resolve to do what needed to be done now. The path toward Dol Guldur was already familiar, though rarely travelled willingly. Many years had passed since she had faced him here and she was not afraid.
She knew that The Necromancer could never again draw upon his power, that what little remained of his soul was cursed to slither around Middle Earth unseen for the rest of time.
And yet still her breath hitched as that once dread fortress emerged before her. It had been restored of course, the last time she had attended nothing but a ruin had marred the hilltop. It was this familiar unfamiliarity that struck her, that until weeks ago this had once again been one of his strongholds.
8. The Ballad of Tom Jones - Modern AU but make it sort of like the dynamic in The Great (somewhat lovingly married couple, bit they're constantly trying to murder each other.)
“Forgive me Delilah I just couldn’t take anymore…”
Halbrand groaned and lifted his ear from cold metal, a thin line of drool connecting the corner of his mouth with the paintwork beneath his cheek. “This fucking song,” he cursed as the final line repeated and then silence. The bluetooth connection or phone battery must have died, but he’d figure that out later. Right now all he could think about was that his head felt like it had been run over by a car.
9. Janus - During Continuity (TROP) with Canon Divergence, minor Silm references. Adar and Galadriel bond over their experiences with Sauron (there is both M/M and M/F in this fic - and this is another I'm quite proud of even though the bisexuality of it all perhaps meant it didn't get some interest from fans of both those ships.)
“Will you not have some wine Lady Galadriel?” Adar asked, once again taking his seat across from her. He seemed a little more relaxed this time, though his wrists were draped stiffly on the armrest, a weary twitch in his far too cordial smile.
Galadriel considered it for a moment, her manners having not deserted her as inhospitable as her current environment remained “I am not thirsty,” she replied.
“Perhaps you can at least eat?”
How many hours it had been Galadriel could not say. It was dark in here, time was measured by Adar’s children entering and exiting the tent, the faint glow of the fires surging through Eregion the only light as they lifted the flap.
10. The Final Gift - the SFW version of "the Ring is destroyed and Sauron says a last goodbye" to Galadriel by healing her battle injuries.
It had hurt surprisingly little once the flames had licked at his soul, flaying the remnants of his earthly being layer by layer until no tether remained. Now he was truly shadow, formless and faithless.
His life’s work, everything he had ever wanted, all of it undone by a mere halfling. Even if he could laugh now his twisted heart wouldn't allow it. It had come to pass, ruined by one alone. Though whether it referred to the tenacious hobbit, the Ring or even his own hubris he could not say.
—————
NO PRESSURE tags for people I know write fic, not sure if I'll get 10. Also I am aware some of you have probably been tagged multiple times! @mirroringdust @myrsinemezzo @netteisms @brynnmclean @willowaus @shady-swan-jones @latent-thoughts @delyth88 @nocaptainonthisship @bilbotargaryen - and anyone else who thinks "I'd like to do that!"
Question for the AU: Cobalt mentioned something about “chasing Polarity across the entire home”. Do they live in a giant building? Is it underground? Do they live in little sectors? Sorry you’ve got me invested in the structure of this silly little robot AU
They live in a facility that they all refer to as "Home" (proper noun!), and said facility exists on Inanimate Island (the location of season 2 + Hotel OJ; this is important). The facility is pretty massive and it was built on an edge of the island that's uninhabited and unvisited. It exists above-ground, though! If you happened to stumble across that area of the island you definitely wouldn't miss the giant hulking building. It's very closed off though, on the inside and outside. You definitely won't be able to figure out what it is on pure accident.
They each have their own rooms that are referred to as their "pods". There are three pod wings, each wing housing the pods for each respective batch of robots (so, in total, three: Batches 1 thru 3).
Their pods are where they're able to recharge, which is in essence sleeping? They don't power down but they do go dormant during their charging sessions!
Apologies for asking so soon but the wording in the previous one got me curious again. I’m assuming the 3 batches would be when the character debuted (Paintbot being from Batch 1 and Botcase being from Batch 2), but if that happens to be the case, where would Bow fit? Because it was made as a vessel for Bow’s ghost, but Bow was a S1 contestant. Would they be from batch 1 or 2?
The batches are actually in a bit of an unorthodox order! Cobs built the batches in order of Season 2, Season 3, and Season 1.
All of the season 2 debuters are from the first batch, including Oobleck (Dough's pseudo); the season 3 debuters are from the second batch; and the season 1 debuters are from the third, including Bow's and Apple's pseudos!
Also, as far as Bow is concerned... Well, you'll see what happens! Details from the original three doodle sets are not necessarily canon to the current story! :J
If you'd like a more specific list of which bot is from which batch, I've included them below the read more!
For clarity, the numbered designations are their "codenames"; these are what Cobs refers to them by.
Helloo! I have come here to ask another question, but not lore related this time. Why did you choose to have Fantastic and Botcase be siblings? Was there any specific reason or did you go “these guys are awesome but what if they were siblings”. If it’s the latter that’s swag because they have a really good dynamic both here and in the actual show
Pretty much the second thing hehe. So like, when I first began the comic I already knew that Botcase and Cabbot would be main characters! FANtastic becoming a main character as well just kind of fell into place on its own; it wasn't intentional. That's also too when I decided that they'd have a really good family dynamic with each other, and that's how it came to be!
