Oct 1, 2024
The Hero: How are we gonna get in?
Tomix: Don’t worry, I’ve got the keys.
Tomix: [smashes the window]
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The Hero: How are we gonna get in?
Tomix: Don’t worry, I’ve got the keys.
Tomix: [smashes the window]
The Necrotic Blade of Doom: WHAT ARE YOUR ADJECTIVES?
Sepulchure: You mean my pronouns?
The Necrotic Blade of Doom: NO, I ALREADY KNOW YOUR PRONOUNS, WHAT ARE YOUR ADJECTIVES?
Sepulchure: Uh, I don’t know? What are yours?
The Necrotic Blade of Doom: NOISY AND CHAOTIC.
Sepulchure: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to complete sense so fast.
The Hero: I’m going to need everyone to be straight with each other from now on. No more games. This isn’t just for Vaal, either. All of us.
Tomix: I’m always straight.
Izaac: Oh, man, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.
[“For the Fallen”]
Vseslava, about Zadd: You killed this man?!
Ostromir: Actually, I believe he died of natural causes.
The Hero, nodding: Knife to the neck.
Vseslava: How is that “natural causes”?!
Ostromir: There’s nothing more natural than dying from a knife to the neck.
The Hero: What would be unnatural is if he survived.
Riadne: If the Hero jumped off a cliff, would you?
Tomix:
Riadne: Tomix!
Tomix: Well, er, I mean, it depends.
Riadne: DON’T JUMP OFF A CLIFF!
Tomix: Well, I wasn’t planning on it!
Riadne: But if the Hero did it, you would?!
Tomix:
Riadne: Tomix!
Tomix: Nothing in life is free.
Riadne: Life is free.
The Hero: Adventure is free.
Izaac: Knowledge is free.
Aegis: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
[“After the Ice Orb”]
The Hero: I got the Ice Orb from your fridge.
Galanoth: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
The Hero: It was under the chocolate pie.
Galanoth: So you ate your way through it?
The Hero: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.
Riadne: Hero, you cannot launch Tomix out of a catapult!
The Hero: But he WANTS to be launched out of a catapult!
Riadne: You’re not supposed to listen to his terrible ideas! You’re supposed to be more mature and responsible than this!
Tomix, in the catapult: FIRE!
Riadne: NO! Do NOT fire! Izaac, please, back me up here!
Izaac, about to pull the lever: What?