Forgot to take my antidepressants again today... took them not long ago, hopefully I can still sleep... I dream of someone whom I’m not sure even existed, I dream of past and future happiness... but wake to cold dawns and empty beds... I’m not always sure what’s real, but I know my actions hurt people, which I never intended, but still cut me deep years later. I never wanted to nor want to hurt anyone, I just want to love and be loved for whatever good people sense inside me. I haven’t drunk in years, solidarity for a soul I’m joined with, but insomnia and stress causes reality to fray around the edges... self doubt whispers mean things in my ears, it’s hard not to listen, not to feel ugly and broken, I’m bleeding love, but there seems no end of it inside me... I know people hate me, but I still love them, I know not everyone can be happy... life is complicated... multiple people love or think they love the same person... how is that fair? It can only lead to hurt and heartbreak. I know you set out to hurt me, I know you were angry, I hope you didn’t realise how many others would get hurt by choosing the path you did... collateral damage... I still forgive you, I deserved it, I earned that hurt, they didn’t, but that’s on me. This has been an exercise in writing... what a beautiful sunset might mean to someone... I may try a different interpretation tomorrow... does the prose go with the poetry? Does it clash? Does it make you think? About your actions? The ripples? Does it just upset you with my poor punctuation and run on sentences?words, pictures, music... so many interpretations, none of which are wrong. Peace & love ✌️ #amwriting #writersofinstagram #poem #poetry #slippage #whatif #throughsomeoneelseseyes #isitart #isitshit #whatishetryingtosay #ishereallysayinganything #loveisalways #mentalhealthawareness #think #ripples #sunset #waves #siky #love #peace #hope #writersblock #writeisright #runonsentences #toomanyhashtags #blahblahblah (at O'Sullivans Beach Boat Ramp - Harbour Kiosk)
