#lovelettertomyself

[lovedvra]

Trauma

Every year in December my body remembers.

Everything feels gloomy and harder to process. I'm on edge and feel needy. I don't want to be in public. It lasts until January.

No, this isn't just SAD season symptoms, this is trauma. No one should experience sexual assault or any assault, but it happens. I can't remember the different theories I need to pass my most important course as well as I remember what that young man said and did to me in December 2015 to January 2016.

Negative bias? Self-pity?

Trauma.

I'm back in school, again. I met him at school. I want to graduate, make it on the Dean's List just once and prove to that version of myself that this didn't stop me. Every year I'm thrown back in to those memories. Man, I've been fighting. The shame, embarrassment, what-ifs, could haves, should haves, and still my body remembers, even if my mind forgets.

Its been 7 years- the number of perfection, completion and I'm learning that it is okay to be loved after trauma. Its okay to be loved with the disruption of traumatic symptoms.

I'll start by loving me as I am.

[iloverej]

It has been almost 7 months since you left Manila and it took a lot of courage, tears and doubts whether you’ll make it or making the right choice, you still kept on going forward day by day. I am proud of you, always.🍁 Everything will be worth it, self. I promise.🧡 #lovelettertomyself https://www.instagram.com/p/Cji2lfhvVnO6CYouDUE-6sIB9bApMROa0n_D_o0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[alexandramollon]

A LOVE LETTER TO MY BODY . tw: sa . I know we trusted him, that we were friends and in that moment we felt betrayed, frightened and frozen. . I know we don’t remember all of it and sometimes that makes us feel like a fraud. . I’m sorry I allowed us to stay disconnected for so long. . I’m sorry I ignored how deeply the pain sat in your bones. . I’m sorry I stopped trusting our intuition because he broke our trust. . I’m sorry I stopped trusting you after you didn’t react the way I felt you should have. . I’m sorry it took so long to start healing. . As I sink back into you, I feel the rage transforming into power. I feel my intuition rising wiser and more potent than I knew possible. I feel myself learning to trust you again, slowly but surely. . I am so sorry I abandoned you for so long. I’m so sorry I let the shame make me hide all of this and pretend it wasn’t there. I’m so sorry I stayed angry at you for not reacting how I thought you should have and let it fester inside us for years. . I am so sorry. . . . #metoo #metoomovement #healingjourney #lovelettertomyself #healingenergy #healing #divinefeminine #divinemasculine #divinefeminineenergy #wildwomanrising #wildwomansisterhood #wildwoman #blackandwhitephoto #healingtrauma #traumarecovery #traumahealing https://www.instagram.com/p/CBvsXIQjNTM/?igshid=1orh24nufaxxf

[uncontrollablyme]

A love letter to me, from love; Dearest sweet T, I am right here. I have always been and will always be right by your side. Together we overcome fear and adversity with love. I know it hasn’t been easy. I know things are scary and changing by the minute and I also know I will never leave you, I will always be here. I will always be in your corner. I love you and that will never change. You are so good, so good at being there for everyone else. My job is to do the same for you. To provide you with shelter and a soft place to fall. With understanding and compassion and the gentle reminder that you are good enough, perfectly imperfect, exactly as you are. I love you. I am here for you. I am proud of you! Love, Love ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #jtqt #selfcare #lovelettertomyself #morningcoffee (at Virginia Beach, Virginia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-mVpBKh7jx/?igshid=vhyjrewohd2q

[marlonicole]

#mood @siamusic #swingfromthechandelier #workhardplayhard #mysong #chillax #afteralldaywork #vacationmode #readyforsummer #freeyourmind #lovelettertomyself

[jankiins]

Boi, y’all don’t know NOTHIN bout this!! Has some of the best songs EVER on it!! Had to get this ish shipped from China.. #FayeWong #LoveLetterToMyself

[jamiesth0ughts]

VI.

My first lover taught me what secrets look like. That big girls don't deserve commitment, especially -- especially, when they're not putting out. My second lover taught me what control looks like. The lessons were taught through judgement, yelling, and physical force/assault during my first intimate moment. I learned I have no say. I learned to be lucky. My third lover taught me what abuse looked like --tough I didn't know it at the time. With their threats, manipulation, stalking, and control of where I was, who I'm friends with, and what I did, mixed with their constant reminders of how beautiful I was and how much they loved me, I thought this was normal, I thought this was love, and I continued to go back. Until I could finally escape, kind of. My forth lover taught me that the past three lovers weren't actually lovers at all, and helped me unlearn what I thought was true for so long. They introduced me to commitment, consent, and love. They taught me that love comes in the form of laughter, and support, and inside jokes, and reading each other's minds, filling each other's souls. And sometimes pain. And sometimes absebse. Always feeling incomplete. My fifth lover was the most special love of all. They taught me self worth, and that I deserve the world. They showed me the difference of loving someone and being in love. For the first time I felt whole, complete. Never having to fake anything always feeling fire. And finally knowing that I’d never go back. The lessons were messy, and sometimes painful, but also real, and full of love and growth. They were everything you think you could want, just at the wrong time. I had to heal from lovers one through four first. My sixth lover is the most important one of all. And she is learning what independence looks like. She is reflecting on her past lessons and looking at how they've shaped who she is today and the next path she decides to take. These lessons are through self validation, self care and self love. That lover is me.

[perksofbeingneurotic]

1 day

and one day, I will be brave enough to think about my past mistakes n not allow them to consume me to trick me into the belief that they are a reflection of me i am me, and my heart is full of love i am human, and i am better than any mistake or wrongdoing i have ever made those who prefer to see me as that person r simply those who will not be lucky enough to know me at my best i apologise for anything that has ever hurt anyone, but as flawed as i may be i can never apologise for being me.