So out of curiosity, how to asexual Avaars fit into the culture? While I get that part of the reason the sex is important is for children, are asexuals denied the chance for an eternal marriage if they aren't comfortable having sex? Or having a marriage at all, for that matter?
Hi! I will freely admit that I’m not very knowledgeable aboutasexuals so I apologize in advance if I say anything incorrect in regards tothem. I’m trying my best but this isn’t my strong suit so be gentle. Please? And tucking under a cut because this got long.
So I’ll admit that when I first thought of the Fire Dance, Iwasn’t thinking beyond hetero couples simply for the fact that that’s 99% ofwhat I write. That being said, that doesn’t mean that I’m not open to changingthings or expanding the lore which is exactly what I’ve been doing this morningwith help from my lovely Luci ( @magisteramell).
In Bioware canon, the Avvar actually marry through aceremony where one partner sings a prayer to a particular god of their choicewhile the other undoes knots on a knotted rope. When the song is done, theamount of knots undone equals the years of marriage that they’ll have. The Avvardon’t believe in permanence in anything so this applies to their marriages aswell and as far as I’m concerned, this isn’t restricted by sexuality. Anyone cancommit to this no matter who they wish to be with.
But I wanted more than just that which was why I created theFire Dance and it is rooted in sexuality and sexual desire. The eternalmarriage that I tied to it was because I didn’t want Elora and Cullen to onlyhave a few years and have to separate because I didn’t like that. And as I saidabove, since I write mostly heterosexuals that’s all I was thinking about whenI first made it. But as I was developing and writing the actual Lowlanderstory, I kind of realised that anyone who experiences sexual desire is allowedto dance, no matter what their sexual orientation is.
For those that do not experience sexual attraction/desire,they aren’t out of luck when it comes to eternal marriage. It’s just a slightlydifferent procedure/format/process (none of those words feel right but I can’tthink of something that does fit what I’m trying to say). The Fire Dance’s areRilla’s (in game she’s billed as the goddess of the fireside and of makingbabies so that more applies to the courtship part of the fire dances not somuch the night of pleasure part of it) but that doesn’t mean that there aren’tother gods that can give their blessing to an eternal marriage.
Now please keep in mind, what we know about the Avvar isvery limited and a lot of what Iwrite lore wise in Lowlander is me making it up with what I feel is appropriate and proper forthe story and how I see the Avvar over all.
The way I see it is that for those that do not experiencesexual attraction/desire the Fire Dance would not work for them. But they canapproach the augur to speak with the gods on their behalf to bless their unionbecause the eternal marriage of the Fire Dance isn’t as much about the sex asit is about the union of two souls into one. Who they want to be with (or how) isn’tthat important, so long as the love and commitment is there. After the augurcomes back to them, they proceed with the courtship as if they had danced atRilla’s fires under the guidance and blessing of whichever god spoke to theaugur. The Thane and elder’s council would be informed of the situation only sothat they are aware of the courtship outside of the Fire Dance to keep anyunpleasantness from arising in the clan if people thought that the couple wastrying to skirt the rules of the Fire Dance.
So honestly, it’s a case by case kind of thing that is leftin the hands of the gods/spirits. The couple is still expected to go throughthe two/three month’s courtship that those who danced at the fires do. This isstill an eternal matching and you want to be sure before you completely commityourself to another person so the same protection is there as it is at the FireDance. For the nights of the Fire Dance, the couple still spends it together asthe others do. They follow the same steps at the dances which I haven’t reallycovered in the story, but there are certain things that are done at the secondand third dance to show that the person is being courted to keep others fromaccidentally dancing for someone who is courting/being courted by someone else.This more applies at larger clan gatherings since within a hold most peopleknow who’s courting whom.
I think that’s all I can think of regarding this. If youhave more questions or if I haven’t answered something, feel free to message meagain. You can also message me off anon, if you feel comfortable of course,because I’ll for sure answer questions privately if that’s what you’d like andif you’d like to have a longer conversation about it. Or if you have any otherquestions about this au or any of my other ones always feel free to ask! Alsoplease don’t think that I’m ignoring you if it takes a little while for me torespond to you. I get a lot of these kinds of asks while I’m asleep and when Iwake up in the morning my first response usually won’t be as in depth as Iwould want. I like to actually think about it, especially if it’s reworking orexpanding the lore in my aus.
So thank you for the ask and I hope I answered yourquestion!