#lucywritesx

[lucywritesx]

MINE TO PROTECT

ab x reader

warnings: verbal harassment, physical fight, swearing, misogyny if you squint, anxiety, emotional distress

a/n: this was supposed to be a short drabble holy fuck. i got too deep into the plot of it.. enjoy a bit of protective alfie to lighten your evening. hope you enjoy x

the pub is already rammed by the time you all get there. proper friday night outing, bass thumping through your chest, people packed shoulder to shoulder at the bar. it's loud enough that you've got to lean into eachother just to talk.

you're squeezed into a booth with everyone, your legs tangled under the table and everyone is already half drunk. alfie is next to you with his strong arm slung lazily along the back of your seat, his fingers brushing your shoulder every now and then without even thinking about it.

chip's mid story, chatting absolute shit as usual and cal is egging him on.

"bro, you did not do that" cal laughs.

"i swear on my life" chip grins, pointing his glass at him.

you're already giggling, leaning slightly into alfie as you chime in,

"no, because i can actually see him doing that"

eventually alfie stands, draining the last of his drink.

"right, toilet. you comin'?" he says to chip.

"yeah, go on then."

he leans down slightly before he leaves, voice softer just for you.

"don't go anywhere."

you huff a small laugh.

"i'm literally sat down."

"still" he mutters, brushing your shoulder as he walks off.

the conversation doesn't slow down. if anything, it gets louder. someone brings up something embarrassing about one of the boys, and you're fully crying laughing now, unfiltered, not really thinking about anything except how much fun you're having.

that's when the shadow falls over the table.

"oi."

your laughter dies off a bit as you glance up.

a big bloke, not just tall but proper build like he's used to people moving out of his way. he's staring straight at you, expression already twisted like he's annoyed.

"mind keepin' it down a bit?" he says, but there's nothing polite about it.

cal is the first to respond.

"mate, it's a pub.. everyone's loud."

the guy doesn't even look at him.

"im talkin' to her." he says, nodding at you.

your stomach dips, but you keep your face neutral.

"we're just talking. it's not that deep."

he lets out a short, sharp laugh.

"not that deep? you've been screechin' your head off for the last ten minutes."

sabina, who's sat next to you frowns.

"alright, no need-"

"nah there is." he cuts in, stepping too close for your liking. his presence feels weird, like it's pressing on you.

"some people think they're the main character everywhere they go."

you blink at him, confused.

"what?"

"just sayin'. bit loud. bit.. stuck up, yeah?" he says, looking you up and down.

"you don't even know me." you say, not backing off.

"don't need to, i can tell enough."

cal shifts forward now, more firm, not wanting anything to go off whilst alife isn't there.

"alright, mate. you've said your piece. just leave it, yeah?"

but the guy is locked in on you now.

"nah, she's got a mouth on her clearly. go on then, say somethin' else."

your fingers tighten around your glass. you hate how your heart's beating faster, how aware you suddenly are of how close that random guy is.

"i don't need to say anything. you're the one who came over here acting like a prick."

there's a split second where the table goes completely still before his expression hardens.

"watch your fuckin' mouth. you're not as clever as you think you are." he snaps, leaning in, his face way too close to yours now.

and that's the moment alfie walks back in. he doesnt hear everything, but he sees the way you're sat stiff, eyes a bit glassy as a bloke leaned into your space like he belongs there. and his expression changes instantly.

"oi, what the fuck's goin' on?" he says, his tone stiff.

alfie doesn't even look at him first, he looks at you.

"are you alright?" he asks quietly, scanning your face.

you nod, but it's not convincing.

he turns to look at the guy right then.

"why are you in her face?" he asks, voice low.

"just tellin' her to pipe down. got a bit of an attitude problem, your girl." the guy scoffs.

"what did you say to her?" he asks again.

the guy rolls his shoulders, like he's gearing up.

"i said she's loud as fuck and thinks she's all that. someone had to say it."

"you don't talk to her like that," alfie says, taking a step closer.

"or what?" the guy pushes.

everyone's trying to calm alfie, but he just shurgs them off, his eyes locked on the guy.

"i said," he repeats, "you don't talk to her like that."

"what are you gonna do about it?"

alfie moves closer, puffing out his chest, before the bloke speaks again.

"maybe learn to control your stupid bitch, yeah?"

alfie's expression goes cold in a way that's actually a bit scary.

"what the fuck did you just say?" he asks.

"you heard me."

chip moves quickly now, grabbing alfie's arm but he steps forward anyway, right into the guy's face, forcing him back just a step.

"say it again." alfie says.

the next few seconds seem to move rapidly. the next thing you see is alfie thorwing a hard punch right onto the guy's face.

"alfie, come on... please." you say quietly, voice shaking.

he hears it.

"you're done here. walk away." he says to the guy.

eventually you all break it up and go home.

the house is quiet when you get back. the buzz from the pub has worn off too quick, adrenaline crashing hard, leaving everything a bit raw. alfie locks the door behind you, and glances over he shoulder at you straight away. you've barely said a word since you left.

"d'you want a drink or.. something to eat?" he starts, voice softer that earlier.

you shake your head.

"no i'm fine."

he clocks your mood immediately.

"alright, come 'ere."

you follow him into the bedroom, toeing your shoes off by the door, your movements slower than usual. everything feels off. like tour body's still holding onto something it doesn'y know how to drop.

you change in silence, back turned slightly. alfie does the same, quicker, eyes flicking to you every few seconds. by the time you get into bed, you're already lying on your side, facing away from him. and it's not dramatic or anything, you're just quiet.

alfie props himself up on one elbow behind you, watching your back rise and fall with slow breaths.

"hey.., you gonna talk to me or just ignore me all night?" there's no bite in it, just pure worry.

"i just.. don't really wanna talk." you say, your fingers curling slightly into the duvet.

he doesn't push you. he shifts closer and slides and arm around your waist, pulling you back into him, chest warm against your back. his hand settles on your stomach, thumb brushing lightly, absentminded.

for a while, neither of you say anything.

until you softly spoke.

"i like that you stood up for me.."

his eyes flick to yours.

"yeah?"

you nod. "yeah. just.. not the fighting part."

"yeah, fair." a small, tired smile tugging at his mouth.

you shift closer into him without thinking, pressing your face into his chest. he exhales softly, one hand coming up to the back of your head, holding you there.

"c'mere." he murmurs.

after a bit, your voice comes out again, small against his shirt.

"was i actually that loud?"

"are you takin' the piss?" he says, tipping his head down slightly, trying to catch your eye.

"don't let some random bastard make you second guess yourself like that, girl. not happenin'."

"okay.." you say, relaxing a bit.

"get some sleep baby." he says, pressing a light kiss to the top of your head. "i love you."

"i love you too alf."

[lucywritesx]

maybe this time

ab x reader

warnings: angst, infertility themes, crying, lowkey heartbreaking lol

a/n: haven't posted in a while so here's something angsty again because apparently i hate peace. hope you like it :(

the front door shut with that usual little bang because alfie never really closes it properly.

"reader?" he called out, kicking his shoes off, shrugging his jacket off one shoulder.

but then he heard it. and yeah- his stomach dropped straight away. not quiet crying, not the 'i'll wipe my face before he sees' kind. this was loud and messy sobbing, like you couldn't breathe.

"shit- reader?" he said, already moving down the hall.

the bedroom door was slightly open and when he pushed it, there you was. curled up on the bed, with your phone in her had, tiktok playing. it was some baby video- tiny little thing asleep on his mum, holding onto her like she was his whole world. you looked wrecked. like properly wrecked. face flushed, tears everywhere, breathing uneven like you couldn't catch it, fingers gripping the duvet like it did something wrong.

alfie didn't even think.

"hey- hey, what's goin' on girl?" he said, climbing onto the bed straight away.

you didn't answer, just let out this broken sound and reached for him, and that was enough. he pulled you into him instantly, one hand on the back of your head, pressing you into his chest.

"i've got you, i've got you," he murmured, steady, even though his chest already felt tight.

you grabbed onto him like you needed him to stay upright.

"i can't do it," you cried into his hoodie, words all messy. "i can't- alfie, i can't do it-"

"hey, slow down, yeah?" he said softly, rubbing your back, but you shook your head, pulling back just enough for him to see your face- and fuck, yeah. completely shattered.

"why can't i just get pregnant?" you cried.

that hit harder than anything else you could've said. he swallowed, jaw tightening slightly, but he didn't interrupt.

"i don't get it," you went on, voice breaking, hands shaking a little. "we've been trying for months and it's just.. nothing. every time it's nothing and i feel so fucking stupid for thinking it'd be different."

he pulled you back into him straight away.

"you're not stupid," he said quietly into your hair, but his mind had already gone back there.

the doctor's office was too quiet. your hand was in his, squeezing his every time the doctor paused like you alreadt knew something was coming.

"everything looks fine," the doctor said. "you can conceive."

you actually smiled at that- small, but it was there. alfie squeezed your hand like, see? told you. but then..

"it may be difficult."

and yeah, that smile didn't last.

"difficult how?" you asked, trying to sound normal but he could hear it.

"it could take longer than average. possibly a lot longer."

silence. alfie felt your grip tighten.

"right," you nodded. "okay."

but it wasn't okay. not really. he knew that the second you walked out and went quiet.

"i'm so tired alfie," you whispered, pulliing him back. your voice wasn't loud anymore, just drained. "every month i think maybe this is it. i overthink everything, every little thing, and then it's just- nothing again."

he kept his arm around you, his hand moving slowly up and down your back. "yeah," he murmured. "i know."

you sniffed, wiping your face but more tears just came anyway. "i saw that video and i just-" you let out a shaky breath. "i want that so bad. i want a baby."

"i know you do."

"i've always wanted it," you said, voice wobbling again. "since i was little. i just wanna be a mum, alfie."

"and i know you want it too," you added quickly. "you'd be such a good dad aswell and i can't even-"

"oi," he cut in, pulling back slightly. "don't start that."

but you shook your head, crying again.

"i am though. i'm the reason it's not happening. i'm the reason you don't have a family and-"

"stop," he said, a bit firmer this time, and you went quiet.

he softened straight away, his hand coming up to your cheek.

"don't put that on yourself. that's not fair on you."

"but it's true-"

"no it's not," he said, shaking his head. "this isn't just on you, yeah?"

you didn't argue properly, just looked at him like you didn't fully believe it.

"i didn't choose you so you could give me a baby," he said. "i chose you 'cause you're you."

fresh tears, obviously.

"and yeah, i want one. course i do. with you. only you."

your breathing hitched.

"but i want you more."

that broke you again, quieter this time, and you folded into him.

"i feel like i'm failing," you whispered.

"you're not failing, love."

he kept holding you, hand moving slowly along your back.

"i just want our baby," you said quietly.

"yeah. i know."

"i want it to be easy."

"yeah.. same."

"what if it doesn't happen?"

he paused. "then we deal with that together."

you grip tightened.

"you're not doin' this on your own, yeah?'

you nodded.

"i'm sorry," you whispered.

"you're gonna have to stop sayin' that." he muttered, pressing a kiss to your head.

you'd gone quieter as time passed, just worn out, face tucked into his neck, your fingers holding onto his hoodie.

neither of you spoke.

the room was quiet apart from that stupid fucking video still playing softly in the background.

alfie's eyes flicked to your phone. he looked back at you, curled into him like you were holding yourself together by staying close.

then, without saying anything, he reached over, grabbed your phone, and locked it.

the room fell properly quiet this time. no baby, no music, no reminder.

he set the phone further away, then pulled you closer again, holding you a bit tighter.

"you're alright," he murmured. "i love you."

[lucywritesx]

should’ve been you

ex bf! alfie x female reader

warnings: abusive relationship, physical and emotional abuse, manipulation, angst, bruises/injuries, mentions of sex, swearing, toxic behaviour

a/n: hi angels <3 long time no write.. and ofc i come back with angst😭 hope you like this one, love you always.

you don’t realise how much of your life was built around someone until they’re not there anymore.

six months.

six whole months since alfie walked out of your life like it was nothing more than a decision he could just.. make and be done with.

“i need to focus on my life,” he’d said. “my career.. everything.”

after three years.

three fucking years.

you didn’t even fight him the way you should’ve. you didn’t scream or beg or throw anything. you just stood there in his flat that you shared, your arms folded tight across your chest like you were physically holding yourself together.

“if that’s what you want,” you’d said.

and that was it.

—

your new flat wasn’t bad.

it was actually nice enough.. small, but a clean, decent area, not too far from everything. you told yourself it was a fresh start. something that was fully yours.

but it never really felt like home, it just felt.. quiet.

you met him not long after.

your boyfriend.

and at first, it felt good. easy. like a distraction you didn’t even have to try for. he texted you all the time, wanted to see you constantly, asked questions about where you were and who you were with.

you thought it meant he cared.

you were wrong.

it started with little things. it always does.

“why didn’t you reply?” “who were you with?” “why were you laughing like that with him?”

you laughed it off at first, brushing it away thinking he was just a bit jealous.

“you’re overthinking,” you’d say.

but he wasn’t overthinking.

he was watching you like a guard.

the arguments came next.

they were loud and messy. in public as well, which made it worse. people were turning their heads, pretending not to listen while he raised his voice at you over nothing.

“can you not do this here?” you’d whisper, embarrassed.

“do what?” he’d snap. “i’m just talkin’ to you.”

it was never just talking by the way.

—

the first time he hit you, you didn’t even fully register it.

you’d been in the kitchen arguing about you going out with emily, your best friend, and he just, lost it.

his hand came down on your arm, hard.

not your face, not yet.

“..did you just hit me?” you asked, genuinely confused.

“i didn’t mean to,” he said quickly. “you just- you were windin’ me up.”

you weren’t.

but he said it so quickly, so convincing, that you ended up apologising.

you apologised.

after that it got easier for him.

and harder for you to leave. because every time it happened, there was an excuse.

you made him angry you said the wrong thing you looked at someone the wrong way

and every time, he’d calm down after, pull you close, mumble a half apology, and kissed your head like it fixed anything.

and you stayed.. because somehow, in your head, leaving felt harder than staying.

—

emily noticed.

ofcourse she did.

she sees you basically every day, so it didn’t take long.

“what’s that?” she asked once, grabbing your wrist gently when your sleeve slipped.

you pulled it back quickly. “nothing i banged it.”

she didn’t believe you.

she didn’t say anything straight away though. she just watched and paid attention.

the way you checked your phone constantly. the way your mood changed depending on who texted. the way you flinched sometimes.

and then one day, she saw the bruise on your collarbone.

you hadn’t even realised it was visible.

“reader,” she said, voice different this time. serious. “what the fuck is that?”

“i told you, i’m clumsy-”

“don’t lie to me.”

you looked away.

that’s when she knew.

—

meanwhile, alfie is doing the exact opposite of dealing with anything.

he’s out most nights. with different girls in different places but.. same outcome.

meaningless sex, drinks, laughter that doesn’t really mean anything.

he tells himself he’s fine. that this is what he wanted.

freedom.

no responsibility.

no relationship.

but it’s not hitting the same. like, at all.

he’ll be in the middle of making out with someone, touching someone, literally having sex, and his brain just.. goes somewhere else.

back to you.

your laugh. your voice. the way you’d look at him like he was everything.

and he hates it. so he just does more of it, trying to drown it out.

—

that night, it’s the same.

there was some girl in his bed, talking too much, asking questions he’s not even half arsed about answering. he’s half dressed, already bored, when his phone lights up.

emily.

once.

twice.

five missed calls.

and then a message:

answer your fucking phone alfie

he calls her back.

“what?” he says, running a hand through his hair. “why are you blowin’ up my phone?”

“where have you been?” emily snaps immediately. she sounds stressed. angry. “i’ve been calling you for ages.”

“i was busy,” he mutters, staring back at the girl in his bed. “what’s going on?”

“it’s y/n.”

he straightens instantly. “what about her?”

“she’s not okay.”

his stomach drops a bit. “what do you mean not okay?”

“i mean not fucking okay, alfie,” emily says, her voice shaking now. “i didn’t know if i should tell you but i can’t just sit here and do nothing anymore.”

“tell me what?” his tone’s sharper now. impatient, but underneath it there’s something else creeping in.

fear.

emily exhales. “her boyfriend.”

he goes still.

“…what about him?”

“he’s been hitting her.”

it’s like something in alfie just snaps.

“what?”

“he hits her,” emily repeats, slower this time. clearer. “i’ve seen the bruises on her arms, her shoulders, i think even her ribs. she keeps making excuses but it’s obvious.” her voice crack slightly.

alfie’s jaw clenches so hard it hurts.

“how long has this been goin’ on for?”

“i don’t know exactly. a couple months at least. maybe three.”

three months.

three months someone’s been putting their hands on you.

and he’s been—

fuck.

“why didn’t you tell me earlier??” he snaps.

“because she’d hate me for it!” emily shoots back. “and i didn’t know how bad it was at first. but it’s getting worse. she won’t leave him, alfie. she keeps defending him.”

he’s already standing up, grabbing his joggers.

“where is she?”

“at her flat, i think. but-”

he hangs up.

and calls you immediately.

once.

twice.

no answer.

again.

still nothing.

“fuck,” he mutters, pacing.

—

you can’t answer.

because your phone’s on the floor.

because your boyfriend’s screaming at you.

because his hand is in your hair, dragging you across your own fucking flat.

“you think i’m stupid?” he’s shouting. “you think i didn’t see you flirting with him?”

“i wasn’t!” you cry, trying to pull away. “i literally wasn’t doing anything—”

“don’t lie to me!”

he yanks harder and you stumble, your knees hitting the floor as he drags you towards the bedroom.

your heart is racing, panic setting in properly now.

“please—” your voice breaks, “please stop—”

he doesn’t.

he never does once he gets like this.

—

hours later, it’s quiet.

he’s gone out like nothing happened.

you’re on the floor with your back against the wall and your hoodie pulled around you, trying to breathe properly.

everything hurts.

your head, your ribs, your face.

you reach for your phone eventually.

see the missed calls.

alfie.

your chest tightens immediately.

you stare at his name for a second.

then you call him.

—

he answers so fast it almost startles you.

“hello? reader?”

you try to speak but it comes out as a sob instead.

he goes quiet for half a second.

then, “hey.. hey, what’s happened? talk to me.”

“i didn’t see your calls,” you admit, your voice breaking. “i’m sorry—”

“don’t apologise,” he says immediately. “just tell me what’s going on.”

and you do.

“he gets angry over nothing,” you say, words tumbling out. “like literally nothing, alfie. if i don’t reply fast enough, if i go out, if i look at someone he just.. loses it.”

he’s silent, listening.

“and at first it was just shouting,” you continue, wiping your face. “like really bad arguments, in public as well, he doesn’t care. and then one day he just—”

you hesitate.

“he hit me.”

alfie shuts his eyes.

“where?” he asks quietly.

“my arm, the first time. but then it just—” your voice cracks again. “it kept happening. not every day but.. still, enough. he always says it’s my fault after. that i push him or i wind him up or something.”

“it’s not your fault,” alfie says immediately, his voice firm.

you ignore that, because you don’t fully believe it.

“today was worse,” you whisper. “he thought i was flirting with someone outside a shop. i swear i wasn’t even talking to anyone alfie, you know me, and he just.. he dragged me inside and-”

you swallow hard.

“he hit me again. like really hard. and i just.. my face is swollen and it hurts..”

there’s a heavy silence.

you can hear his breathing.

“i don’t know what to do,” you admit, your voice small now. “i feel stupid. i should’ve left ages ago but i just.. i don’t know. he makes me feel like it’s my fault and then he’s nice again and i.. i don’t know.”

alfie’s grip on his phone is so tight it’s almost shaking.

“you’re not staying there,” he says.

and then there’s a voice in the background.

a female one.

“alfie? are you coming back?”

you freeze.

of course.

of course there’s someone there, why wouldn’t there be?

you go quiet instantly.

“sorry,” you mumble. “i didn’t realise you were-”

“no, it’s not like that..” he starts, moving away quickly, but you cut him off.

“it’s fine,” you say, even though it’s not. “you don’t owe me anything.”

that hurts him more than anything you said before.

“where are you?” he asks instead.

“at mine.”

“i’m coming to get you.”

“you don’t have to-”

“i do,” he cuts in. “i’m coming. just… wait for me, yeah?”

you hesitate.

“…okay.”

—

you’re outside when he gets there.

you didn’t want to stay inside any longer than you had to.

you have your hoodie on, legs bare, and your arms wrapped around yourself.

his car pulls up and for a second you just stare at it.

then you get in.

it’s quiet and awkward.

but.. familiar.

he glances at you and it hits him properly.

you look the same. but also… not.

“what the fuck,” he mutters under his breath when he sees your eye properly.

you look away.

“swear to god i’ll kill ‘im.”

you don’t answer.

“take the hoodie off.”

“alfie-”

“take it off.”

you hesitate and then slowly, you do.

and yeah, it’s bad.

there’s bruises, marks, everything.

he looks like he might actually cry, but he blinks it back, jaw tight.

“how long has this been goin’ on angel?”

“…three months.”

he nods slowly, gripping the wheel.

“you’re not going back there.”

—

his place feels the same.. which makes everything feel worse somehow.

he doesn’t make it a big thing though.. he just… takes care of you.

“you take the bed,” he says. “i’ll sleep on the sofa.”

you shake your head.

“i don’t wanna be alone.”

he nods once.

“alright.”

—

you’re in his bed again, six months later.

you’re facing away at first, not really sure what to do and he gives you space.

until you shift closer slightly and he follows, slowly, like he’s giving you time to stop him.

you don’t.

his arm settles around you, gentle, careful.

safe.

you finally breathe properly.

“he’s not gonna touch you again,” alfie says quietly. “i swear.”

and for the first time in months, you let yourself hope.

and he realises now..

he should’ve never fucking left you in the first place.

[lucywritesx]

off camera

ab x fem!reader

warnings: none really, pure fluff, established relationship

a/n: decided to write just a bit of soft alfie because i need him being normal for once and i've got writers block on the fic i'm working on.. enjoy xx

alfie is weirdly gentle when no one's around.

not in a way you'd really describe out loud. it's not like he changes personality or anything. it's just that when there's no camera, no one else in the house, no need to keep anything moving, he stops doing the bits where he fills every silence.

you're on his bed while he's at his desk editing. laptop open, timeline full, and his headphones around his neck instead of on because he keeps talking to you more than he's watching what he's doing.

"that cut's wrong," you say, barely looking up.

"it's not wrong," he replies automatically.

you look at him.

he pauses and clicks back, watching it again. "it's slightly wrong."

"yeah."

he drags it a bit, fixes it, then sits back like he's done something exhausting. "sorted."

you go back to your phone.

there's a bit of silence. just the usual room noise, nothing awkward about it. it never really is with him. he swivels his chair a bit so he's half facing you instead of the desk.

"you alright just lying there?"

"yeah."

"not bored?"

"no, alfie."

he nods like he's accepted that answer but still doesn't fully believe people can just lie down and do nothing without it being a problem. he keeps fiddling with his sleeves, rolling them up and down again without noticing. then eventually, he shuts the laptop a bit harder than necessary.

"can't be bothered anymore."

"you've been doing it for like half an hour."

"yeah, that's loads."

you glance over at him properly. he's already standing up before you even finish looking.

he comes over and sits next to you on the bed without saying anything else about it, close enough that his shoulder presses into yours straight away.

his hand finds yours after a second, not like he's decided to do it, more like it's where his hand ended up and he didn't move it away.

you look at him.

"you alright?"

"yeah," he says. "just knackered."

you nod a bit. "properly tired or just 'can't be bothered' tired?"

he thinks about it for a second. "bit of both."

you hum in understanding. he leans back against the headboard properly now, still holding your hand, thumb moving a bit over your knuckles because it makes him relax more than it makes you.

"i forget how loud everything is sometimes."

you turn your head slightly. "what d'you mean?"

he shrugs a bit, eyes still forward. "like when you're editing it back or watchin' comments or whatever. it feels like loads."

you don't say anything straight away.

he adds, "and then it's just like this.. with you, and it's fine again."

you nod once. "yeah."

he seems satisfied with that, like that's all it needed to land.

his grip on your hand doesn't change. just stays steady, normal.

he shifts slightly after a moment, his head tipping closer to you and resting on your neck quietly, not making it a thing.

"you stayin' tonight girl, yeah?"

"yeah."

he gives a small smile at that. "sound."

a bit later he reaches for his phone on the bed, checks it, then puts it face down again without really looking at it properly.

"think i'll leave the vlog for tomorrow," he says.

you glance at him. "you'll actually do it tomorrow?"

"probably."

you laugh a bit under your breath and he watches you for a second, admiring you.

"i will," he adds, and gives you a small peck on the lips before pulling you in by the waist and slowly falls asleep.

[lucywritesx]

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE BUT ME pt.2

ab x reader

warnings: angst, insecurity themes, body image, swearing, crying, no? comfort ending (still haven't decided)

a/n: right, so alfie did grovel like a bitch, as promised. im having mixed feelings of how this should end. happy ending or no happy ending. thoughts?

ALFIE STOOD THERE longer than he should have, staring at the spot where the car disappeared. for a second, he almost laughed like this was something that would blow over. like he knew you'd just cool off and go back home once you realised that all of this was just a show to grow a fanbase. that fight exhausted him, and he just wanted to go home.

"fuckin hell.."

he exhaled before turning to go back inside where chip, freezy and a quite angry sabina stared at him.

"okay stop staring, it's not that deep chill."

"are you that daft alfie? you can't do that to her!" sabina said, her voice laced with fury.

"yeah lad, i mean.. pictures and a laugh is one thing but saying you're single is too far." chip added.

alfie sighed.

later, when the shoot was finally gone and everyone had gone home, is when it hit. when he was on his own, in bed without you next to him trying to steal the blanket. that's when the realisation of what he actually did and said actually settled in. he remebered your face, god your beautiful face. not shouting, not protesting. just.. done. and losing you scared him more than anything in the world.

he took his phone, opened your chat. stared at it, closed it again. sending you a message felt pointless when he didn't even know what to say. for once in his life, he didn't have the right words. what kind of words could take back the horrible thing he said to you?

insecure.

the word sat wrong now. it twisted the knot in his stomach.

around 3am, he couldn't resist the urge to text you anymore.

alfie: can we talk? i didn't mean it like that im sorry baby pls just answer me im going insane delivered

you didn't reply. he checked it again, and again. he almost didn't get any sleep that night. it felt weird sleeping on his own again.

he was awake as soon as the sun went up. the grotto felt so.. big yet so lifeless. he took a shower and sat on his bed for a whole five minutes before getting up, grabbing his keys and leaving the house. he didn't know what he was going to say, he just knew he couldn't leave it like this. couldn't let his girl think she's irrelevant and whatever other fucked up things he said.

meanwhile, you were back at her small apartment that you had kept renting despite living with alfie for the past two years, just in case. you had cried herself to sleep at night (still woke up two hours later and never fell asleep again) ,and was pretty convinced into keeping the same pattern today. you felt destroyed, by the only person you ever dared to hold, and give all of your love to. all the love, and care you felt for alfie now fought with the feelings of betrayal, and humiliation inside your heart. you were deep into your thoughts until you heard a soft knock on your front door.

you didn't even need to hear or see who it was. your brain almost automatically knew it was alfie. you could've not answered it, or shut tthe door in his face but a selfish part of you wanted to see his face. see what lame excuse he'd come up with.

the sight when you opened the door, was one you've never seen before. alfie was stood there, with a bouquet of pink roses, your favourite. his eyes lit up and looked at you, an expression of undeniable guilt and fear on his face.

"what do you want alfie?" you said, your voice soft and tired.

"i-uhm, im sorry love. i truly am. everything i said, everything i did, that's on me. you didn't deserve that. not even a little bit. you're not irrelevant, you're the best thing that's happened to me. and, uhm- you're not insecure, i don't even know why i said that. im just- im such a stupid bloke. i shouldn't have said im single. i get it now, i really do. i thought that's the way to gain fans, and grow in the community. but i dont care about that. at the end of the day, all i want is to have you there, next to me in our house. i love you. i love you so much, and im so sorry that i ever made you doubt it. i know i haven't been there lately. please just... give me a chance to make it right again."

you stared at him, and right there your mind was running circles. so many emotions tried to overpower each other. you did love alfie. only you and your heart really knew the amount of love you had for him. but he had hurt your feelings. he made you feel neglected and he took you for granted.

you sighed.

"alfie.. i don't know."

"s'alright. you don't have to just forgive me right now. but i want you to know im so fucking sorry reader. i never meant to hurt you. i love you more than anything in this world." he says, his voice low and laced with gut wrenching guilt.

you really wanted to kiss him. to fall into his big comforting arms and cry. but what you wanted more than that was to be sure that what happened yesterday would never happen again. your eyes started to water.

"how do i know that im not gonna feel humiliated again? alfie.. watching you just deny everything we have was cruel. how do you think i felt, standing infront of our friends and watching you with those gorgeous girls, pretending i dont exist? it was horrible. i tried so hard, so hard, to look beautiful.. for you. and you didn't even gave me half a look like you gave those girls. i really tried.." you sniffled.

alfie's face crumbled into one of pure sadness, upon listening to you and seeing your tear streaked face.

"don't- don't say that love. you are beautiful. you're the only one i look at in a room. i know i fucked up, i know. fuck- you're perfect, girl. don't think that way about yourself. i always notice you, im so sorry."

the gates opened and your tears fell like a waterfall. you felt so embarrassed crying like that infront him. you were supposed to stand your ground.

"don't cry baby, please." he says, reaching out to brush your tears away with his thumb. you let him, but you don't reach out to him.

he hands you the flowers that were sitting in his hands for way too long now, and you take them, placing them into a vase before going back at the doorway where he stood for the whole interaction.

you composed yourself to stop crying for a minute just so you could speak.

"just, give me some time alf."

"yeah- ok. i will. as much as you want. just know I'll be here." he says, the hope draining a little from his eyes.

"i love you reader."

[lucywritesx]

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE BUT ME pt.3

ab x reader

warnings: none really, slight fluff if you squint, alfie being a big simp, happy ending

a/n: there we go.. your happy ending as requested. i feel like it didnt reach my expectations and was a bit small but hope you guys enjoy it still. alfie is such a softie in this omg i didn't notice until i actually read the whole thing. i had so much fun writing this, all the angst made me depressed lol.

THE FOLLOWING DAYS went by very slowly. you were starting to be more active rather than doom scrolling in bed all day. you went out more, even if just for a quick coffee with your girls. and, you actually started looking for a job again. things were starting to fall into place more, and you finally felt like you had control of your life after so long.

the quiet ache was still deep down buried in your heart tho. but what gave you even the slightest bit of motivation was alfie. he had took his words and turned them into proper actions, whether it was by texting you each bloody morning, asking how you've been or by sending your favourite baby pink roses at your doorstep every day with a note that said how much he loved you. you appreciated him trying, and that he actually gave you space, and didn't push.

the shift was real. after the first couple weeks went by, you had started to slowly interact back with alfie. you replied at his texts, even texted him every time you received flowers.

you: thanks for the roses alf they're very pretty :) alfie: not as pretty as you tho i love you girl x

as much as you wanted to hate his guts, to call him out for the utter donut he has been, you couldn't. the way he yearned for you was everything you had wanted and more. a man who's patient, who shows you how much he appreciates and loves you every day. and alfie didn't leave any room for doubts.

on the days you caught yourself rethinking everything, thinking if everything is just a ploy to win you back, a big revenge for his bruised ego, he always proved your overthinking wrong.

the first day you agreed to meet him again, was three months later. you had been talking again, and facetiming, but he really wanted to see you in person again.

the truth was, all those three months alfie spent without you, really opened his eyes. he had missed every part of you, even the parts that annoyed him. so that's why when he saw you again, he couldn't hide how ecstatic he felt.

he arrived at the coffee shop you two had agreed to meet, two hours earlier. he sat down, nervously picking at his fingers and thinking every word he'd say. he wanted this to be perfect. because, no matter what.. he wouldn't lose you again.

when you arrived he already had bought your coffee. ice caramel latte with two pumps of vanilla. this man can't remember his own password most of the times but he remembers your drink.

upon seeing you, you could see so many feelings pass through his body. anxiety, happiness, fear, nostalgia.. he was in complete awe.

"hi, reader. how- uh, how you been?" he says as you sat down and he passed you your coffee.

"uhm, yeah i've been doing better. thanks you didn't have to." you'd be lying if you said you werent absolutely shitting your pants aswell.

"don't be silly. i- uh, i'm glad you're doing better. listen, i- i just wanted to tell you thank you. for givin me another chance.. i know i've been a daft bastard and i didn't deserve one. but, no matter how many stupid shit I've done i always loved you. fuck, i don't think I'll ever stop loving you girl."

"alfie i... you didn't treat me well. but, i've seen everything. i've seen how you changed. and, i missed you. i've missed hugging you, and talking to you, and waffling to you about my shit day. you gave me space, time to think... but you were still there. and i appreciate that." you say, a genuine look of forgiveness in your eyes.

alfie let out a big exhale.

"you don't know how much i've missed you girl. im miserable. every day i wake up and think about all those stupid things i've done, every time i've made your pretty little eyes cry. you make me so happy, literally. i love you."

you stood up then, and walked over to alfie bringing your arms out. he stood up, confused until he realised and actually pulled you in for a hug. it was so refreshing, it's like you were reborn. his big arms hugged your posture, almost swallowing your figure.

since then, things have seemed to flow very beatifully. after a while, you actually moved back in with alfie at his house up in london.

a cold night, you were cuddling at the couch watching a romantic movie that obviously you had chosen (but of course almost fell asleep after 10 minutes), and his phone rang.

"yo bro, what's up?" alfie said, and you heard a squeaky voice quickly realising it was chip.

"are you free tommorow man? me and cal was thinking of going to the races or summat."

"wait, let me check with the missus if we have something planned." alfie says and turns to you.

"yo babe, didn't we plan something for tomorrow?"

"oh um, yeah we did... but its okay alf, you can go with the boys i don't mind." you say. that's what happened most of the times. you'd plan something and then the boys would call and suddenly he was free that exact day you were gonna go out.

"nah, what're you talking about?" he says before turning his attention to the phone again.

"sorry man, me and my missus got plans tomorrow. I'll see you guys thursday for the shoot tho, alright?"

"yeah yeah no worries mate, talk later."

"cheers man, bye.", he says and turns to look at you curled up on the couch watching him with such love.

"what're you lookin at girl? i ain't gonna give a nice outing with my lovely missus for some races am i?"

you giggle and scoot closer so you're in his arms.

"i love you alf."

"i love you too, girl."

you felt at peace. finally, after so long everything was back in place. turns out all he needed was to stay apart from you, to realise he couldn't.

[lucywritesx]

i’ve gone NOTHING appropriate to say.. god almighty 💔

[lucywritesx]

red light

ab!ex x yn

warnings: suggestive fluff, exes with tension, driving/road interaction, emotional manipulation-ish, teasing (playful)

a/n: i just wanted them to run into eachother again in the worst way possible. alfie is a cocky bastard in this.. but i high-key looove it. hope you enjoy x

the light's red and you're bored out of your mind.

like actually so bored you've got phantom blasting way too loud in your tiny little fiat 500, drumming your fingers on the wheel, nodding along like you're in your own music video.

your windows are slightly down, sun in your eyes, whole main character moment.

you don't even realise there's a car pulling up next to you.

and not just any car.

his.

that fucking black defender. of course it is. dramatic for no reason, just like him.

alfie spots you straight away. like immediately.

and for a second he just.. stares.

because it is you. actually you. not a picture, not a memory, not something he's trying not to think about at stupid hours..

you.

he rolls his window down, resting his arm out, watching you for a second longer than he should.

"..oi."

nothing.

you're literally mouthing the lyrics. he huffs a laugh, shaking his head.

"oi, diva."

still nothing. he leans out more, louder now.

"you gonna clock me or what??"

you blink, turning your head-

oh.

you freeze.

"..you're joking."

he's already smirking. of course he is.

"what, missed me that bad you're ignoring me now?"

you let out this half laugh, half scoff.

"alfie please be serious."

"i am serious," he says, looking you up and down like he hasn't seen you in ages (he hasn't). "this is how you greet people now, yeah?"

"i wasn't greeting you at all actually."

"rude."

you roll your eyes but you're smiling a bit and you hate that.

there's this weird but no awkward pause. just.. loaded.

he breaks it first, obviously.

"still driving this little thing?" he nods at your car. "feel like i could lose you in my blind spot."

"good," you shoot back. "do that."

he grins.

"nah. like seein' you too much."

ugh.

you look away, pretending to focus on the road.

he's still looking at you.

"music's still dead by the way."

"you literally used to like this."

"didn't say that," he shrugs. "said i tolerated it."

"liar."

"nah," his voice deeps a bit, a bit quieter, a bit.. yeah. "just had better things to focus on, didn't i."

your stomach does that annoying little flip thing and you hate him for it.

"you're so embarrassing," you mutter.

"and you still fancy me a bit. tragic."

you actually laugh at that.

"oh my god shut up."

"what?" he leans a bit closer, eyes on you properly now. "tell me i'm wrong."

you open your mouth..

the light turns green.

saved.

you don't even think, you just go, foot down, your little fiat speeding off like you've got something to prove.

behind you, you can literally hear him laugh.

"course you'd run."

and then yeah. obviously he follows.

his stupid defender catches up in like two seconds, pulling up next to you again like this is a game now.

you refuse to look at him. so he moves a bit closer.

"still legging it?" he calls over.

you glance at him finally.

"still obsessed?"

"only with things that are mine."

fuck.

you grip the wheel tighter. "i'm not yours."

he just tilts his head, like he knows something you don't.

"keep tellin' yourself that."

you hate how that lands. hate it. so you speed up again.

he keeps up. obviously.

then your turn come up. indicator on. he notices straight away.

his expression shifts, just for a second.

"...right," he mutters.

you slow down, turning off but just before you go, you glance back. he's already looking at you. like he knew you would.

you arrive home but just before you get out..

your phone buzzes almost seconds later.

alfie: u always drive like that or u just trying to impress me

you stare at it. roll your eyes.

you: yeah alfie i risk my life daily just for u alfie: knew it

you snort.

you: delusional alfie: didn't look delusional when u was starin at me tho you: i wasn't??? alfie: yeah alright typing.. alfie: looked fit btw

there it is. you bite your lip, shaking your head a bit.

you: you're actually the worst alfie: and yet here u are texting me back you: you texted me first?? alfie: and u replied quick as well you: don't read into it alfie: too late next time pull over instead of running yeah got unfinished business

you stare at that one for a bit long. heart doing that stupid thing again.

you: you wish alfie: nah i know

you just sit there in the driver's seat a second longer, staring at his message, then you lock your phone, lean back into your seat, and let yourself smile before you can stop it.