Neil shakes his head and starts for the bedroom. Andrew isn't far behind him, and together they get Neil changed out for bed. Neil eyes the bed with some consternation. The only person he'd ever shared a bed with was his mother. She crammed them onto the same narrow mattress so she'd always know where he was; it was the only way she could get any sleep at night.
Hesitation does neither of them any favors, though, so Neil picks a side and tugs the blankets back as carefully as he can. Despite his reservations, there is something painfully familiar about the weight of another body in his bed. Less familiar is the way it feels
being pushed deeper into the mattress, Andrew's hands on his shoulders and tongue in his mouth, but that is something Neil can definitely get used to.
He won't let himself dwell on Aaron's ugly words, but it is harder to let go of Nicky's assumption that this is nothing more than an anger- fueled attraction. Nicky is more right than Neil wants him to be, but Neil has no reason to resent that. He'd known going into this what Andrew thinks of him—Andrew's apathy is precisely why Neil had decided to accept Andrew's advances.
But it isn't that easy anymore, and Neil doesn't know why or when it changed. He knows less what he is supposed to do about it. He'll have to warn Andrew at some point, but now isn't the time. He buries his unease and confusion deep and works bandaged fingers into Andrew's hair. He doesn't care how much it hurts so long as he can pull Andrew closer, and he lets Andrew take him apart until he can't think anymore.
