This past weekend I chose fun. . Choosing fun and #choosinglife are mantras for me these days. I am feeling so freaking happy and relieved to have had the energy and low enough pain in my body to sit and cheer (loudly) through a three-day basketball tournament that had us up early and out late. . I'm now shifting into this morning's reality. Scan time. . It's #metsmonday and I have a #ctscan this morning. This is the first scan since starting weekly chemo last November. Whoa...LAST November, it's almost March. I am going to take a moment and acknowledge my sweet body and all that it has endured and is enduring. I am flooding my own being with loving kindness right now. I am cheering for myself to stay steady as two radiologists view me from the inside and determine how this disease is behaving in my body. I am doing all I can within to hold myself open and stand bravely with my heart open on this threshold. I have had progression show up on all scans for the past two years. I don't remember what it's like to have a stable scan, much less one that was NED since I have never met that goal of becoming #noevidenceofdisease. . I have no treatment options left in the conventional world of #cancer except chemotherapies. My number one mission in life these days is to not run #fear and #stress through my body or to at least notice more quickly when I start to freak out, and employ the numerous techniques I have in my stress-busting toolbox to calm myself down. . My #copingtools... #birdsongs #dogsheal #nature #lyingdownontheearth #yogicbreathing #deepbreathing #progressivemusclerelaxation #yoganidra #music #singing #dancing #supportivepeople #therapy #cannabisoil #medicalmaryjane #art #writing #visualizations #epsomsaltbaths #rocks #meditation #feathers #animals