Hiiii, I always thought Chicago was about his friendship and fight with Zayn, and Louis just added some more lyrics to make it sound like more of a romance relationship. (Cause to me only the word 'baby' makes it sound like a romantic partner rather than a close friendship)
Hi, hi! That was also one of the first analyses I followed! There are so many possible explanations, really. But I included that one since it mentioned Hannah, and I thought the Danielle Campbell x Babygate take was also interesting.
It could even be about someone totally unrelated to him. Only Louis knows what it's about 😂 Give us a clue, man!
harry gave us everything that the album is about, condensed in one high speed song as an introduction. it’s his daily life, his career, the industry, his deepest emotions, drugs, thoughts he’s been stuck with, random associations, hiccups, mundane beauty, food, coffee, love. he’s become the beat poet he’s always wanted to be and i’m fucking here for it. LET THE TRUMPETS SOUND HERE WE FUCKING GO
harry’s house, track one
LYRIC ANALYSIS
MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE
THIS ALBUM IS MIINE MINE MINE MINE
Green eyes, fried rice
I could cook an egg on you
hey, i have green eyes!
you're so hot
Late night, game time
Coffee on the stove
a first taste of the album: impressions, random snapshots. lots of late nights, lots of coffee, a game here and there
"game time": play a part/game on/competitiveness/hanging out at home
You're sweet ice cream
But you could use a flake or two
Blue bubblegum twisted round your tongue
you're sweet. you're cream // steal my girl, "kisses like cream"
"flake": a chocolate flake? a flake of salt? (take yourself less seriously. take myself less seriously. take life less seriously)
I don't want you to get lost
I don't want you to go broke
I want you
i want you to keep your job, i want to keep you around - if we see that as h singing about his own career: he wants to keep shit going
he wants to keep it going - the same way? or: we need to switch shit up, but yeah, i obvs don't want to fuck it up so bad that we go broke
It's 'cause I love you, babe
In every kind of way
Just a little taste
You know I love you, baby
loves his career, loves music, loves performing, loves writing, recording, all of it
about lover: // kmm, "just a little taste"
"Excuse me, a green tea?"
Music for a sushi restaurant
From ice on rice
Music for a sushi restaurant
Music for a sushi restaurant
Music for whatever you want
nonsense.... right?
people placing their order while his music is playing, while he’s singing
using his voice as an instrument like a jazz singer - sounds like something that perhaps could be performed by the band in the background of a jazz club....... but it’s a bit too intense for that, isn’t it? i’m too loud too outrageous to be played in the background bitch
"music for whatever you want": the music i write can be for whatever you want
i'm asked to write for different settings, or as many settings as possible, as broad an audience as possible. for the background of your tiktok, if you fuckin will apparently
if this album is put out in the world, it's yours, and you can listen to it however you want
I'm not going to get lost
I'm not going to go broke
Staying cool
he’s very sure he’s not going to get lost
“cool”: keeping it cool/not getting fed up/fitting in (// ftdt, “i never felt less cool”)
You know I love you, babe
you know. we’ve discussed it.
about career: reminding himself he really does love it
If the stars were edible
And our hearts were never full
Could we live with just a taste?
Just a taste
IF: but the stars aren’t edible. our hearts are full. and we don’t have to live with just a taste. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. IN EVERY KIND OF WAY.
“edible” - drugs mention
“stars” - high up in the sky, high on drugs, superstars
-> could we even live with just a taste of the stars - could we live with just a little taste of fame? if our hearts were never full, could we even control ourselves to stop after just a taste of fame? ----- his heart is full, tho, which is why he knows how to pace himself in the wasteland of fame
It's 'cause I love you, babe
In every kind of way
Just a little taste
You know I love you, baby
SYNTHESIS
Track one of Harry’s House hits us around the head, grabs us by the shoulder and shakes us, all while screaming hysterically YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU RIGHT??? So all we can really do is scream back that we do, we know, WE KNOW!!! !
It’s the perfect introduction to an album that’s all snapshots, details, chopped sentences and associative rambling. But, obviously, it’s more than that. It’s always more than that; we’re talking about Harry ffs. At first glance, it’s about his lover. He’s so in love he needs to scream about it. This reading holds up, in my opinion, throughout the entire song. Sure, it’s a bit hysterical, and yeah, it’s a bit intense, but sometimes we go a little crazy when we’re in love and we’re so happy we’re stupid. We’ve got some green, some blue. We’re hot as fuck. I want you to be successful. Let me taste you, and not just a little bit. Taste me, a lot. Need some salt?
When we look a little deeper, though, we see some digs and references. Harry explained how he once heard one of his songs play while he was eating at a sushi restaurant, saying it didn’t seem like the right music for that setting. I think that says a lot about how he sees his own music, and how he’s changed in experiencing the role his music can have for others. Especially the line “music for whatever you want” is telling. We can see it as a bit of a salty comment, as in, “i’ll write music for whatever you want! lemme know, i’m a slut for my career anyway, right? I AM HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU” or we could just also see it a bit calmer, as an “i’ve written these songs, and i know what they mean to me, but now that they’re out in the world, they’re yours to do whatever you want with them. i might not think they’re made for a sushi restaurant, but hey, if you do, then i won’t intervene!”
In general, little words like “cool” always catch my attention, because I can’t help but interpret them as sarcastic, or at least meaning something else than simply cool. “I’m not going to go broke, I’m not going to get lost.” Whoever he’s possibly talking to (including himself), he’s saying, with conviction, that whatever decisions he’s making, or whatever goals he has, he isn’t doing it to fuck himself over. He doesn’t want to lose what he’s worked so hard for. He also genuinely loves it too much. But he needs to stay cool: stay calm, stay in. Stay relevant. And he doesn’t have that as his goal like he used to. I think he means to say: people, guys, besties: stay fucking calm, i know what i’m doing. i’m not gonna get fucking lost, have a little faith in me. as well as i need to stay fucking calm bc people won’t have a little faith in me. and add a dollop of i’m getting there. i’m getting there. but it takes patience and i need to stay cool.
All that to say that what I hear, in this song, is Harry saying: I know what I’m doing. My heart is full, I have a plan, I know my fanbase and I know the industry. Most importantly, I know myself. Faith in the future. and if you still want to play my music in your sushi restaurant then you’ll have to deal with me being loud
Good and bad and right and wrong
Are stories made up when we’re young to scare us
Love and hate are in between
Depends on your reality to see them
// “do you ever ask why it’s not black and white”, bigger than me
“scare us” - scared into walking a straight line (pun intended)
young people being scared into following someone else’s will/rules // “don’t know why they put all of this on us when we're so young”, we made it
// “i can't believe i gave in to the pressure, when they said a love like this would never last”, too young
love and hate are in a grey area, and sometimes they even cross over; they’re far from opposites. stop trying to define love, put it all into boxes
-> “depends on your reality”: can everyone finally accept that their very personal experience with emotions can’t be applied to everyone else?
PERSPECTIVE
I just wanna stay in the moment the rest of my life
So one more night
I’m gonna choose
I don’t wanna face the music
But I still wanna dance with you
Let’s buy some time
For what we shouldn’t do
I don’t wanna face the music
But I still wanna dance with you
I still wanna dance with
“your reality” followed by “in the moment” -> he wants to stay in his reality, in his love, for the rest of his life. no more giving in to pressure, other voices trying to convince them of something they could never know better anyway
“for the rest of my life” <> “one more night” and “i’m gonna choose”
-> where is the choice he’s making? it sounds like he’s choosing to stay in the moment for just one more night, while the “but” after “i don’t wanna” implies that he kind of has no choice.
he knows where his responsibilities are, he knows how to get through this life after figuring a lot out on his own, by following his own instincts. // bigger than me, we made it, the greatest, etc.
he knows he has to face his responsibilities, but he doesn’t want to lose love in the process (this time around). he’s realised he can make his own reality, away from the made-up stories, where he can be a responsible person while also thriving in love
“face the music”: figure of speech that means you have to face reality/life/consequences, but it’s also amazingly applicable to louis’s life in a literal sense - the responsibilities he has to face in the music industry, with his career
“dance with you” // perfect now
Close your eyes and count to ten
If you’re standing on the edge of falling
Open up and looking down
Everything that matters is forgotten
I just wanna stay in the moment the rest of my life
-> change your perspective // bigger than me, all this time, she is beauty, “look at the horizon, does it make you feel small” angels fly, holding on to heartache, (paradise)
louis and sadness, depression: on the edge of falling - he knows what it’s like you feel like you’re slipping into darkness, and this album is full of louis saying that you have to hold on to yourself. it’s you doing the counting, it’s you doing the breathing, it’s you taking the time to prevent yourself from falling.
- in the context of the song, it’s about feeling lost in what others have been telling you to do, in what responsibilities have come with life, things that seem like they’ll take away what makes you you / who you love.
what sometimes seems like it matters most in the entire world can change. take a breather, take a step back, and you’ll already see things differently - especially if you’re standing on the edge and it’s either standing ground and braving the challenges up there or falling down into unknown darkness
- staying in the moment helps him put the darkness of his life in perspective, helps let in the light. enjoying the little things, the moments of joy, of simplicity, help brave the challenges. his problems aren’t solved, and maybe they can never be solved, and he realises it can’t be his sole focus to try to fix them - and that that’s also not a case of forgetting his responsibilities
So one more night
...
SYNTHESIS
Face the Music’s opening sounds ring from ear to ear, like we’re dizzy, disoriented. The rush of what others are saying, of how much pressure there is, all the responsibilities you have to fulfill. Then it’s Louis breaking through and putting his foot down, because he won’t be led anymore by that whirlwind. He knows what he has to do in his life, things that make him happy and things that don’t make him happy, but it’s all in balance. There are times when you can lose perspective, and feel forced to (only) do things that are expected of you, while you feel like you’re neglecting what makes you happy. It feels like you should always be doing the right thing, because doing something purely for pleasure has the connotation of getting you nowhere. Louis says fuck that! Let’s have both! He’ll so what’s best for the life he wants to live, and that also includes following his heart and having fun, next to his responsibilities. He’ll slow down and live in the moment, enjoy the bright sparks of joy that he experiences, which otherwise he wouldn’t have appreciated if he’d always focused on the heavy duties in his life. Those heavy duties also become easier to bear once happiness is let in. The darkness is kept at bay with the light shining a little brighter.
Once again a testament to perspective and how it can turn your entire life around for the better - something Louis is telling us from experience, and also as a reminder to himself.
ooooooookay, here we are. i’m not that late, am i? SO. usual disclaimer: these are just my thoughts!! after a few weeks of getting familiar with the song, this is definitely the general feeling i have about it. you can bet i’m more than fucking excited to see what else he has in store for us in terms of loudness. the kid doesn’t give a fuck anymore and i am here in that front row seat munching popcorn watching it all unfold. alright enough of this here we go
LYRIC ANALYSIS
Come on, Harry, we wanna say goodnight to you
voicemail, supposedly - sounds a bit acted to me, could have originally been a voicemail that they rerecorded to be more hq
what does it mean as the intro to a song like this? an example of ppl who really care? / a bit sinister?
Holding me back
Gravity's holding me back
I want you to hold out the palm of your hand
Why don't we leave it at that?
gravity holding him back - he wants to fly, go as high as he can, but he can't ～ sott
gravity: also the gravity of a situation - the weight of living
i want "you" (in general) to help me, support me, have my back; why can't it be that simple? why do you need reasons, explanations in order to have my back? (why can't you support me as who i am right in front of you? do i need to prove myself?)
⟶ he's held back bc he's constantly questioned, doubted
directed to "you" as his partner: baby take my hand i know wtf i'm doing. stop thinking and jump w me
Nothing to say
When everything gets in the way
Seems you cannot be replaced
And I'm the one who will stay
good old trusted theme of (a lack of) communication - here h is saying it's no use to talk about it ⟷ we need to talk about it. sometimes talking about the same thing over and over gets you nowhere, just makes it worse
"everything" - external factors cause the issues
"you" - general you, or specific individual? - audience? partner? all possible options?
"if we talk about this, we'll go in circles. all i know for absolute certain is that i need you and i will never leave, so let's leave it"
"i'm the one who will stay" ～ mmith - patience, loyalty
In this world, it's just us
You know it's not the same as it was
In this world, it's just us
You know it's not the same as it was
As it was, as it was
You know it's not the same
what we know is that we have each other
"this world" - this industry, this system, this life - us against the world (⟶ we used to not be alone against the world(?))
shit changes all the time and that's okay. i have accepted it, "you" knows it's true but needs more time to process (as usual)
people change, life changes, situations change, conditions change - their personal lives, their selves, their careers... it is what it is. good or bad
Answer the phone
Harry, you're no good alone
who is speaking? are they saying the entire verse or parts of it? - apathetic, sarcastic, manipulative voice - someone who needs h up, well, kept an eye on
"you're no good alone" - "when you're alone you start having all these thoughts, darling, and we don't want that" aka don't be independent, silly
also h's own self-deprecating words about himself: says he's bad at being alone, doesn't want to be apart from his lover ～ mmith, tbsl, ftdt, canyon moon, etcetcetc
Why are you sitting at home on the floor?
What kind of pills are you on?
"at home on the floor" - echoes of mmith ⟶ when he's alone, going through something, he deals with it by wallowing + substance abuse ("i'll be on the floor", "give me some morphine") - the voice asking him what kind of pills he's on sounds menacing, tho - assuming he's taking pills, while it might not be the case at all (bc this echo in another person's voice might imply that's in the past/a rumor/a false assumption)
Ringing the bell
And nobody's coming to help
"ringing the bell" - for service (painting the picture of this washed out rock star on the floor of their house, like elton in his worst days perhaps) / sounding the bell for help / ringing a doorbell
⟶ "nobody's coming to help": he's asking for help, "hold out the palm of your hand", but he's not getting any - could someone else be still saying this? as in, "nobody's coming to help, harry"
Your daddy lives by himself
He just wants to know that you're well
"your daddy" - whose daddy? who is daddy? random ass lyric as an excuse to mention a daddy, kink/gay culture?
is h talking? is someone saying this to h?
confirm to daddy you're well. that's all - sarcasm: your “daddy” doesn't really care about you
Go home, get (a)head, light-speed internet
I don't wanna talk about the way that it was
2nd "home" in the song wow love that for us
he's def saying get head idgaf
fast-paced life ～ tpwk bridge "all we ever want is automatic all the time" + working from home, aka covid life
i do not want to talk about it - h doesn't want to look back
Leave America, two kids follow her
I don't wanna talk about who's doing it first
stuntstuntstuntstunt
⟶ "doing it" = ending a stunt? or literally anything else bc this is just a word and it's also harry so anything could mean everything and vice versa
in any case, it doesn't matter who's doing it first: if we move forward in any way, we're good
SYNTHESIS
As with everything Harry has ever done in his artistic career, this song isn’t straightforward. But we don’t want that anyway, do we? We like to be challenged.
In this first single for Harry’s Home, there are a lot of sentiments woven in from his previous albums. Especially Meet Me In the Hallway’s symbolism and lyrics have found their way in. He’s not recycling his old work, however; he’s building onto it. He’s still the person who’ll wait for his lover to come around, but now his lover doesn’t need to start talking, he needs to stop going in circles. They seem to keep discussing the same things and Harry’s ready to move on. Who they are now is not who they were, and that’s not a bad thing. They know they have each other and that they survived the challenges thrown their way so far.
The chorus could be interpreted in multiple ways, I think. “You know it’s not the same as it was” can be melancholy, sad about the changes they’ve been through and the things that have been lost. About their relationship, about the world they live in, about their careers. It can also be a call for action. The time to talk is over, now it’s time to fucking make shit happen. The way I hear the entire song, I think it’s the latter. In the first verse, Harry calls out the lack of support or help. He states what he needs in literal terms, then wonders what the fuss is about. It's honestly one of the more assertive moments we've gotten from him. Then he continues to say that they need to stop talking about shit they’ve gone through time and again. Sometimes it’s no use to reiterate what happened. The same questions will remain unanswered. What Harry knows is they have each other, because they know they can never quit each other.
This low-key exasperated Harry gets even more daring with throwing bullshit out the window in the second verse, when he voices things others have undoubtedly said to him. It shows a lack of understanding of his personal life, that even people who have his number don’t know him, and, more dramatically, don’t care about him. They need him to perform, act normal, be good. The notion of him needing help or support and not getting it comes back here, which underlines its significance. Harry feels let down by those around him, those who are supposed to care. (His team, fans, anyone.) “In this world, it’s just us” sounds even more intense in that context - it’s us against the world, more than ever before, bc wow people have shown their true colors.
Harry has realised something. After years of going in circles, doing the same things to keep things in place, trying to preserve what they have, he’s realised he wants action. Things change whether they want them to or not. Harry wants to embrace change, in himself and everything around him, because he knows it’s brought beautiful things before. And he and his love change beautifully through it all. The shit that “was” is what they need to actively move past. No more conversations about it, let’s just do it. Doesn’t matter what happens first. Something needs to. “It’s not the same”, in this light, to me, is Harry saying he’s realised their circumstances have changed to the point where they can’t stand still anymore. He’s seen the true nature of those around him, he’s found out what he really wants.
It’s fascinating, really, how this song at first sounded regretful of change to me, when only after a few listens I realised it’s the opposite. It’s Harry welcoming change, and basically prodding his own personal story to get shit moving. He’s thrown scruple over his shoulder, calling a halt to all the running in circles (mv anyone?) and grabbing his lover by the hand, certain in the belief they can handle the biggest changes they’ll have to face yet.
okay this song needs a short, brief, energetic introduction and warning: i will be mentioning babygate and there's drugs and alcohol involved. if you're not into it, that's fantastic, and there are many other posts that'll suit your taste. i'm analysing lyrics and making conclusions based on what's in the song and what i think are logical connections. peace and love and let the rage-induced madness begin
hs1, track 7
hs1 intro post
LYRIC ANALYSIS
She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes
Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect
he does not like this girl
cheap cigarettes so she's not classy. she also likes getting drunk (cheap and especially fast, not drinking for the taste) and she's also not very smart
And all the boys, they were saying they were into it
Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck
the boys, not including me
what a shame if that neck would snap
She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it, but I'm into it
I'm kind of into it
It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it
Oh, I think she said, "I'm having your baby, it's none of your business
I'm having your baby, it's none of your business (it's none of your, it's none of your)
i'm like, kind of into it? omg she's so craaaAAAaaazy
fine line between sarcastic and genuine
you have nothing to do with it. it's happening, you have no choice, no control
It's New York, baby, always jacked up
Holland Tunnel for a nose, it's always backed up
DRUUUUUUUGS
'jacked up': excited
holland tunnel is always jammed with traffic -> nose like this tunnel -> blocked nose -> excitement from a blocked nose -> she did coke :)
hard liquor and coke, damn girl, take it easy. and you're going have a baby? you sure about that?
When she's alone, she goes home to a cactus
In a black dress, she's such an actress
she goes home to a cactus: a plant that doesn't need much nurture and care in general (he's dissing her. that she's clearly not fit to be a mother)
+ prickly, stingy, etcetc
+ grows in barren land (alludes to her being infertile? nothing growing inside of her?)
"black dress", aka the one irresistible piece of clothing? put it on to look more appealing to the writer of little black dress?
"actress": she's faking the charm, she's lying to them
She sits beside me like a silhouette
like a ghost? a mirage? is she really there? is it just a presence?
eerie, looming, threatening
Hard candy dripping on me 'til my feet are wet
"hard candy dripping": dick? dick.
"'til my feet are wet": saying for having a new experience
And now she's all over me, it's like I paid for it
It's like I paid for it, I'm gonna pay for this
he's going to pay for it, literally and figuratively
this verse: all of this, starting from "she sits beside me" - is "she" a metaphor for something a lot bigger? like the consequences of his sexuality? closeting? stunting as a whole? once he showed his true sexuality (aka loving that dick) "she" swept in and made him pay
It's none of your, it's none of your
etc etc etc
SYNTHESIS
Okay. So, as with any questions I get about Kiwi, I will now insert @bluewinnerangel 's massive post about it. It features a lot more parallels, deep-dives and anything you may need about the song and the topic at hand, so please go read that if you're interested in more. On top of that, there's this post by her as well about the intense Pink Floyd references in the Kiwi music video, which are, in my opinion, central to driving the point of Kiwi home. (If you're not into reading it all: it pulls in PF's criticism on the industry and those who abuse authority, especially)
I know what this song is about. Nothing can convince me any different. This is about babygate, the industry as a whole, and Harry's fury around it. I really won't dance around the subject, because Harry doesn't either. Harry is ANGRY and how does he express that? He turns on his inner Joker and lets all hell break loose, making it seem like he's having the time of his life while on a murderous rampage. The entire tone of the song is sarcastic. Serial-killer-grin sarcastic. House-burning-down-behind-me-while-smiling-calmly-at-the-camera sarcastic.
for visuals: see above
The portrait of the main character, "she", is painted with a thick brush dipped in acid. She's fake, cheap (on the hunt for money) and manipulative. It's also made very clear that, despite the fact that she says she's having a baby, she's not acting like someone who is. Smoking, drinking, doing drugs. Then there's that lovely detail of the cactus, which could signify she's not even fit to keep a plant alive that needs more care than a few drops of water every now and then. All of this to make it very clear that... this person is, in fact, not really having a baby.
In the last verse, where she's a silhouette, and there's this thing dripping till his feet are wet, I couldn't help but throw myself into the symbolics again. She's this person who trotted into their lives, but really she signifies something a lot bigger. She's the physical manifestation of the consequences that them living their lives bring. Oh, you want to experience your sexuality? Here, have this pretty face on a pretty neck in a black dress to come and ruin your life. It's bearding to the next level, it's protecting their secrets, but at what cost? We sure as hell know Harry is fucking livid about it, that's for sure. He's paying for who he is, he's paying for who he loves, but why the fuck should he have to pay in the first place??
Harry performing this live also tells you all you need to know. It's like anger therapy for him. Then there's some fun lyric changes where suddenly he's wearing the black dress or some I will let you check out for yourself bc I'm still careful but also...... not opposed.
Watch this live performance of Kiwi at X-factor if you're still unsure about all of this. They literally had to cut the camera away from him at illogical times just to lessen his palpable fury that would make any viewer shrink away in their seat. Anything to keep people from wondering "hey, what's that kid angry about? is he angry at someone at x-factor? is he perhaps singing to the person he's angry at? hmm i wonder"
Like this is smth I don’t even partly believe in but fuck I need to let it out
In terms of gender
The Only Angel to Oh Anna to She pipeline
OK IM RUNNING AWAY AGAIN
HELLO KIND ANON YOU HAVE BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG AND I WANTED TO REPLY BUT I DIDNT HAVE THE GUTS TO ADMIT I HADNT SO MUCH AS GLANCED AT ANNA EVER BEFORE SO. yeah
@bluewinnerangel published an analysis yesterday and it made me read the lyrics for the first time ever and they're def more interesting than i realised. not bc i had written the song off or anything, i just... didn't think of her. i'm so sorry, i've changed my ways
so, generally, this song is 100% a fan's ode to faith by george michael. we have the sample, we have the same theme in the lyrics. but that's not what this post is about
bc we have your interesting thesis statement: only angel > anna > she. now, you definitely caught my attention with that bc you know i'm a sucker for looking through a gender lens at anything harry does.
i can totally see what you mean. in only angel, just like in anna, we have an elusive woman that harry doesn't understand. (i'm following the timeline that demy suggested btw where anna is older than only angel bc that's what i believe as well.) the (power) dynamic is a bit different, but with only angel i see it all as a power struggle of the internal gender experience
I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth
vs
So chew me up and spit me out, nothing left to lose
harry, or whoever "i" is in the songs, doesn't understand the woman. this is a general theme in harry's songs, where if a woman is mentioned, it's someone who is erratic and plays tricks. in kiwi she manipulates, in only angel she's manic, in anna she's a big question mark. and you're right, that ? only grows and grows and then you have she.
Don't know where you're laying, just know it's not with me
Don't know what I'd tell you if I passed you on the street
Don't know how you taste when there's smoke in your perfume
i don't know where you are, i don't know how to talk to you, you don't tell me anything either, do i even know who you are? do i know anything about you? are you even real or are you just a cloud of smoke? also very interesting here bc bluewinner mentioned "smoke and mirrors" and so what do you see when the smoke lifts you see your reflection oooOOOO lights up mv what's up it's not do i know her it's do i know who I AM
I must admit I thought I'd like to make you mine
As I went about my business through the warning signs
End up meeting in the hallway every single time
And there's nothing we can do about it
i'd like to get through to you, get to the bottom of you, but i'm shut out, i keep making the wrong turns and there's nothing i can do to change it, to figure you out
She lives in daydreams with me
She's the first one that I see
And I don't know why
I don't know who she is
A woman who's just in his head
And she sleeps in his bed
While he plays pretend
there's this woman in my bed but who is she? i keep seeing her everywhere, but is she even real?
is it a parallel? are we reaching? i think yes to both but it's good
some more parallels in the This Woman Makes Me Crazy Or Wait Am I The One Going Crazy? So Am I The Woman? sphere:
Every time I see your face
There's only so much I can take
Broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door
I got splinters in my knuckles crawling 'cross the floor
Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight
He takes a boat out
Imagines just sailing away (Away, away)
A woman who's just in his head
While the huge similarity between all of these is that the woman is an elusive figure, the main difference is that in she she creates no frustration or anger. I def see only angel > she as that growth, acceptance of gender ambiguity, fluidity, without it causing that anger bc it's so fucking hard to figure out. It's definitely interesting to consider anna in the same context, and I can see it. It's the beginnings of this idea of Woman Who Is She, where mistrust is still on the foreground. i don't have a conclusion so here have a heart <3
Same lips red, same eyes blue
Same white shirt, couple more tattoos
But it's not you and it's not me
that one special lover with the beautiful blue eyes
"couple more tattoos": but not couple tattoos? it's just. such a good play on words it must allude to that pls
establishment of them as something familiar
cute lil theory:
1st line = you
2nd line = me
also parallel to well-used "it's not you, it's me" line in break-ups - allusion to the cause of their issues not (necessarily) being themselves
Tastes so sweet, looks so real
Sounds like something that I used to feel
But I can't touch what I see
THE SENSES!! ALL OF THEM!! 'you' is all-encompassing
they're there, they're close to each other, but they're not as physically intimate as they used to be
We're not who we used to be
We're not who we used to be
We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me
Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat
we!!! you and i are still a we!!! itsnotfuckingoverneverneverover
together is when they had a heartbeat, when things were good. when they're apart they also don't have a heartbeat. but now they're not themselves, and they're not the couple they used to be, so they've lost their bearings. (external) change has caused a shift
The fridge light washes this room white
Moon dances over your good side
This was all we used to need
domestic bliss
cont. in sunflower, vol. 6: "kiss in the kitchen, like it's a dance floor"
"all we used to need": we need more, now. things have changed, we need to work on this relationship to keep it working, not just stay complacent and expect things to always work
Tongue-tied like we've never known
Telling those stories we already told
'Cause we don't say what we really mean
cont. in sunflower, vol. 6, pt.II !!!!: "i was just tongue-tied"
communication!!!! central theme on the entire album: these kids couldn't fucking talk
they are still talking, still spending time together, but they're holding their emotions back, afraid of what might happen if they open their mouth. afraid of change
We're not who we used to be
We're not who we used to be
We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty
Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat
'glass half empty' - his/their own outlook, or did chances get taken away?
edit: okay. it was a crime to leave out pink floyd here, headstrong as i may be. "we're just two lost souls living in a fish bowl" from wish you were here is. it's essential. pink floyd's lyricism is a key understanding so much of harry's work, and it can never be stressed enough. also i love pf so even though i wasn't typing it out here i was singing it in my mind okay
another hint at their relationship struggling bc of a context change
trying to remember: they're trying to make it work
Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat
I'm just trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat
i'm also figuring out for me what i want and need bc for this relationship to work i also need to know who i am
SYNTHESIS
This is a pair that loves each other. There is no doubt about that. This song is about heartache, about a relationship that's changing, one that used to feel easier. They now have to try, to work, to make it work again. The context of their relationship has changed, they have changed, they're growing. They have to figure out who they are in order to know what they want, what they see in the future for themselves and each other.
I think the lyrics, for once, say a lot. At first, the song sounds like an ending, something melancholic. Upon closer inspection, though, you can hear the hope, the work, the trying. Trying, figuring it out for themselves and for the relationship, is a central theme on HS1. It's what pulls all songs together, with this song at the centre, along with Sweet Creature, which holds that sense of security that they will figure it out eventually. In Two Ghosts, especially in the last line, Harry recognises that he needs to look for himself again, too. As does his lover. They're both ghosts, pretending to be someone they used to be. Perhaps in order to preserve what they once were, because they're scared of what might happen if they let change wash over them. Scared of the possibility of losing each other if they let go of the past. Despite the sadness and melancholy, Harry never fails to preserve that undertone of hope. He knew all along that there was no other way than for them to come out alive. (And then he wrote Sunflower, Vol. 6 as proof.)
here is that first post i did ages ago, which is fine as a very superficial reading, but this is the full-on deep dive that i should have granted this song from the start <3
LYRIC ANALYSIS
Tell me something, tell me something
You don't know nothing, just pretend you do
I need something, tell me something new
the other, "you", is the one who needs to relieve harry - harry is done looking for answers
give me anything, anything at all, even if it's pretend and not something i've heard a million times
Choose your words 'cause there's no antidote
For this curse. Oh, what's it waiting for?
Must this hurt you just before you go?
"choose your words": bc you might offend me? bc pls don't get my hopes up?
no antidote for what? what's the curse?
"what's it waiting for": does harry want it to hurry up? why? - seems more like something you'd say while waiting for something to hit yourself, not someone else -> the curse will hit harry
impatience, just get it over with
"must this hurt you just before you go": was "you" already certainly going? passing away? or leaving? is the thing hurting "you" something separate from what's making them go or not?
Oh, tell me something I don't already know
Brooklyn saw me, empty at the news
specific location, is the story specific to nyc? what happened in ny? or is the memory just linked to that place?
There's no water inside this swimming pool
the key to harry's universe is water
~ "two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty"
comfort, answers in/around water: mvs for golden, falling, lights up, adore you, sott. now there is no water, no way for him/his emotions to escape or even find answers
Almost over, had enough from you
And I've been praying, I never did before
Understand I'm talking to the walls
I've been praying ever since New York
almost self-indulgent in his sadness -> sad for something that happened to him? not "you"?
"had enough from you": who says that about someone who's passing away? -> could be, but very bitter
or "you" is multiple people in this song
"understand I'm talking to the walls":
praying feels like talking to the walls: doesn't believe it'll do anything
nothing he can say or do will change anything, despite his pleas
nobody is listening to him
he's alone, lonely
something changed for good while he was in ny
Tell me something, tell me something
You don't know nothing, just pretend you do
Tell me something just before you go
"you" has the right words to say to h. no matter how true they are, h needs "you" to soothe him
could be that religious aspect again: tell me i'll see you again, tell me we'll be alright - and now i'm getting deep into it
SYNTHESIS
Alright, so. This song is an enigma that I'll never crack, and that's okay. It's about something deeply painful and personal to Harry, which is exactly why it's impossible to figure out. This one is for Harry, so he has a way to sing about his pain while still keeping the story to himself. Here are some of my thoughts, but feel free to throw them out of the window if they don't make sense to you.
My initial analysis zoomed in on the story that it was about Harry's grief about his stepfather's battle with cancer. I didn't leave any other options open, which doesn't do the song justice, because there are so many other ways to hear the song. This particular interpretation still makes sense, but not on its own. I think, just like any other meaningful Harry song, it's a web of emotions and things that cause him pain all connecting in the middle to create this work of art.
Reading the lyrics now, I see Harry as someone who is in pain, but also impatient, desperate but in the know that he is helpless, with that bit of anger in there, too, that is found all over HS1. Despite "you" going and also hurting, Harry is focused on his own suffering, loneliness and inability to find any answers. It's "you" who needs to give him the answers, to tell him something. The prayers, there, might actually be a red line in the song. Harry has never prayed, and doesn't believe it'll do anything for him, as he feels like no one is listening, but "you" might be able to offer some words that soothe his mind. Like a prayer, about a prayer, or something else entirely.
This religious aspect, with the notion of the "curse" that doesn't have an "antidote" (which makes the gears in my head turn bc however incurable cancer may be at times, there have been many successful recoveries, too), points me in the direction of sexuality again. It can't be changed, and it's seen, by many, as a curse, or a burden, especially in Harry's position. He's been told shit over and over again about his life, how he should live it or change it; he's heard it all before. And now, in New York, Harry hears news that makes him reach a limit. Even reach out to religion, which usually he wouldn't do, because of his sexuality. He doesn't think it would help him, specifically because of the church's famous phobic stance on homosexuality. Also, the fact that ESNY follows Kiwi on the album, reinforces this idea for me. The anger he has for what others tell him to do, decide for him, things he has no say in (it's none of your business - talking to the walls), due to his sexuality that doesn't fit their norm, flows from Kiwi into Ever Since New York, where the anger dissipates a bit and he expresses his devastation. The melodic parallel with Badfinger's Baby Blue hits hard here, when you know about that band's history (struggles with label, s*icide). (here is a post by @bluewinnerangel that deals a lot more with that subject matter and it's fucking sad so be warned. don't read if you don't like to read about what i crossed out in those brackets before)
So, connecting all of this, I hear the song differently every time. What I do know is that it's first and foremost about Harry's grief about what's happening to him. In some ways I still imagine he's talking to his stepfather, who he asks for help and relief; something he often did before. Perhaps because he's passing, and Harry needs to know he'll see him again, despite his sexuality that's labeled as a curse. And he's sorry that, right before going, he has to see Harry go through so much shit, see Harry in pain. Of course, I also relate this song heavily to Don't Let It Break Your Heart by Louis. Especially the specific line "you left a part of you in New York", again pointing to that location and something life-changing happening there that caused a lot of sadness and pain. And that song deals with mental health issues, those that can feel like they come and go, but stay with you forever. The mention of the age 27, there, as well. Just. yeah.
Maybe, Harry's just talking to himself. Praying, talking to the walls. Looking deep in that mirror, as he so often does when looking for answers. He's had enough of himself.
In any case, this is a deeply sad song where Harry expresses that he's at a point where he sees no way out. Any hope he has, like praying, seems futile to him. He keeps doing it, though. He keeps praying, he keeps asking for someone to tell him anything. To offer him solace, to talk him out of it. A lot changed with this experience Harry went through, but he got through it. Thank fuck for that.
