the short answer to what it's like being non- disordered?
we have a lot of similar difficulties to disordered systems including-due to our partial trauma origins- messy splits and triggers, as well as emotional amnesia (I.E. we get emotionally detached from stuff that other members experience but still remember what happened. most of the time). it's not a lack of difficulty by any means. i dont think it can be something that lacks difficulty altogether. we're people and no two people are going to get along perfectly or have zero difficulties living together or sharing things- in this case, a body.
what stops us from being disordered is that we are able to minimize the frequency of those difficulties, and prevent them from turning into larger issues by keeping our communication open so we can support each other in recovering from the trauma stuff, help people kick bad habits, and generally help each other manage the difficulties of the whole system thing like using and taking care of a body and external life that isn't ours, all the stuff surrounding the complexity of fronting, innerworld drama, all that stuff. we owe this to our endogenic members, who are predisposed to be better at internal communicating (though a lot of us are kindof bad at talking to people outside of the body lmao but thats on neurodivergence) and who work constantly to break and keep down communication barriers between them and traumagenic members.
i hope this makes sense. i'm co- conscious with a couple of people and a bit blurred.
Thank you for telling us!! It makes a lot of sense we'd have so many similarities, since, well, we've both been through some trauma but some of our members are less traumatised than others. For one, I'm pretty functional compared to others, and some of us are much better at social interactions than others, so we patch up for each other. Kind of do our own thing but... collectively, so that we don't end up flopping too bad in any given circumstances.
It happened a lot before! Because we couldn't tap into each other's skills or communicate that somebody needed to take over, and then there was the whole active blocking thing that the host did to keep us "safe", so we couldn't really come out much at all. It was all done behind the scenes and it wasn't really working too well, our functionality overall was very low during those years. It's better now, though! We're learning to share and take responsibility together, so nobody has to do things they're not comfortable with alone.
Also, my condolences for the blur! We had a terrible day yesterday with it, combined with a whole lot of other internally messy things, I really don't want to go back to that. It only happens rarely for us but yesterday was very bad.