#m4-rt1n

[trooperst-3v3]

Had a lot of simple, repetitive tasks on my to-do list this morning, and I knew it was going to be a long, boring day.

M4-RT1N suggested I listen to some podcasts while I work to pass the time.

For those unfamiliar, "podcasts" is the term for what you hear when you open your comm channels and listen to broadcasts coming from nearby escape pods. It's usually the pods' passengers reaching out to anyone who will listen.

Every once in a while, you get someone talking about the view as they float along or philosophy (being alone in space can really make you contemplate life), but 90% of the time, it's just people screaming as they hurtle toward a sun or whatever.

Sure, there's some good content here and there, but it's just not worth the time to scan through all the crap to find it.

[trooperst-3v3]

Tryouts for the Academy's sports teams will be happening soon. A lot of folks were especially excited to watch the swim team tryouts.

Some say it was because we've never had a swim team before, and we should give them extra support. Some say they wanted to see how strong our future First Order troopers are becoming.

Let's be real, though: we all know they want to be there because Captain Phasma is the coach.

I will be there, too, but mostly because I can't wait to see the disappointment on everyone's faces when they discover the swim team coach doesn't wear a swimsuit and will, in fact, be fully clothed the entire time.

Gonna have to ask M4-TR1N if popcorn is allowed in the pool area.

[trooperst-3v3]

A few hot showers, a pack of Benadryl, and many hours of sleep later, I'm feeling much better.

I am ready to take on the day!

And the first thing I am going to do is put on my Big Boy Pants, grab my laundry hamper, and march confidently down the hall. . . directly to M4-RT1N's quarters where I will ask him very politely to take my dirty clothes to the laundry room in exchange for any favor he wants.

Hey, just because my body has healed doesn't mean my self-esteem is ready to take another hit from the Laundry Droid yet. Baby steps.

[trooperst-3v3]

If Phasma gets another cat, she should name them Captain Phasmeow.

First of all, I kind of hope she calms down with the cat collecting. M4-RT1N's team can only clean so many litter boxes in a day.

Second, if she did get another cat, I think she should name it "Hux". Because that is the sound they tend to make just before coughing up a hairball lololololololol

[trooperst-3v3]

M4-RT1N found out about my plans to build confetti cannons this week and decided we needed to have a talk.

He described for me, in great detail, his intense hatred of confetti. Said he hates the stuff: it's small and shiny and difficult to clean up and it gets everywhere. He said he'd never forgive me if he had to spend the rest of his natural life finding bits of it in every corner when he's doing his rounds.

Look. I love fun and I love confetti, but I'm not about to lose my best friend over it. So we came up with a solution together: I will be spending my evenings making biodegradable confetti from dried plants made colorful with natural dyes, and my students will be playing with the stuff outside.

That way, M4-RT1N never even has to see it, much less clean it up. Friendship saved. Hell yeah.

We're going out for pizza later to celebrate.

[trooperst-3v3]

Hi, fellow citizens of the Finalizer!

I have finally gotten around to repairing the photoreceptors and various other sensors on this R5 unit. In short, he no longer drives like he's drunk.

If you find yourself needing to ride around the ship in his fleet transport, you will be pleased to know that you will no longer be subject to serious bouts of motion sickness.

However, just in case his (or any other transport driver's) sensors should go out of whack again, barf bags will be provided in all fleet transports going forward. M4-RT1N and his cleaning crew ask for your cooperation in using these bags to prevent a repeat of last week's incident on level 3.

Remember, folks: Spewing on the floor isn't just a slippery safety hazard; it's a biohazard.

[trooperst-3v3]

Oh don’t worry I didn’t forget about our deal I saved one of the chocolates so you could video me, though I’m not sure ghosts show up on holo vid. Also thanks for the offer but I just left them by hi- THEIR door

— Ben Solo

Well, look at you being all thoughtful and stuff.

You may be right about the vid not working, but I'm willing to give it a go. It'll be worth it for my own entertainment, if nothing else.

Be careful about leaving stuff outside an officer's door, though: one of M4-RT1N's team might think it's trash and throw it away.

I mean, if it even is outside an officer's door. Could be anyone's door. I'd have absolutely no way of knowing, really.

[trooperst-3v3]

Never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait until Hux gets back after the weekend is over so he can start running this place properly again.

When Ren Ben Solo isn't teaching his classes, he gets bored and Hux seems to be the only person capable of keeping him from doing weird shit like amusing the students at lunchtime by "drinking" cups of water while they watch it pour right through him and onto the floor.

I guess being a Force ghost doesn't come with any rules concerning general decorum. I simply cannot with this man. M4-RT1N only owns so many "Wet Floor" signs.