I just can’t do it- self indulgent bull crap
So I haven’t been feeling to good so imma write this. This is a mainly platonic with a small romantic side. Including Malik and Altair from assassins creed, and the au by the marvellous @modernausass , who have allowed me to write this.
I groaned out loud looking around the library I sat in, tapping my pencil against the wood, words on the page I was reading turned into swirls of nothing coherent, my eyes stung hard, and I had no one to care, when I had left my mother might as well have cut me off expect the small phone call here and there, even then I knew, she wasn’t to bothered with my existent, not like I came out of her or anything.. oh wait. More questions and comments about my mother and people around me filled my head banging against their bone cage and screaming out into my ears, the water I held back was close to flooding and I knew I couldn’t do this anymore, I slammed my book shut backing away quickly before rushing off out of there, I took out my phone ignoring the droplets of rain that appeared and scrolled through my contacts. Until and hit M, noticing the name I wanted, I clicked it waiting for him to pick up.
“Hey... Malik do you mind if i come over?”
I listened the the pause “what happened”
“Nothing..! Nothing happened, why does something need to happen jeez, I can’t wnat to come see my step in father figure?”
I smiled at the chuckle from the other end followed by a sigh obviously smiling “You want a coffee then? And I have those biscuits in you like, because, yet again you ate them all”
I made a audioble moan and smiled “you are amazing, be there soon!”
I ended the call and practically speed walked to get there, though alone with my thoughts again things became clouded, ‘her again, and that dumb “mother knows best”, siblings don’t care either, and your all alone’ I shook my head attempting to rid of what ever thoughts came to me head next, but they’d already been planted ‘you’re not important, not to you family, not to the planet, and definitely not to those two’ I hadn’t noticed my eyes on my phone screen, the picture of me, Malik and Altair, at the coffee shop. My breath hitches for a moment, and then again, had it not been for the difference to the cold rain, I wouldnt of felt the tears on my cheeks.
I blinked, still crying stuffed my phone away and walked faster, as my breath exelerated, I could feel my chest heaving to get air. I knew what this was, and I knew all to well the reaction. But I had no other plan. Slamming the code to get into the building and raced towards the apparment panting as I went into my panic, and it was obvious my entrance caused a scene
“What’s going on? Kay? Talk to me!”
I blinked a couple of times looking up into the angry face but worried eyes Malik, how long was I sitting there for? My chest was still heaving from whatever had triggered it and my cheeks were being re-wettened with tears, shaking he head he lowered himself enough to that, he could get his arm around and pull me up, I noted silently I would have to make up for this close proximity later.
I was walked quickly into the living room and sat down, I stared into the floor as Malik walked back to whatever his previous task was, I sighed shaking my head, hearing him walked back in and place two things on the table.
I groaned at the repeated question, though, knew he would most likely poke at me tilt he got something and gave in. I leaned back looking towards him sniffing.
“I’ve just.... there’s been a lot to do lately.. and, no one is there to, help.” I paused to see if he would interrupt, glad to see he didn’t I continued.
“It’s stupid, I know I have people there but... I just get so alone, and then I think about my fuching mom-“ I noticed his stiffen at the mention of her, “and I just, can’t do this..! I just can’t do it anymore.”
A new set of tears had made home on my face as I looked at him, he stayed silent for a a moment before he leaned forward.
“Well... there’s not worth crying over is it?” I blinked about to talk but he continued.
“You know im here, and you got the others, no matter how... distant some of us may seem, we care about you.. of course part of you are still and idiot, and unfortunately an idiot I care about all the more.”
I let out a dry laugh as his remark, shaking my head and sighing, he simply shrugged, “take a drink.”
I looked to the table seeing my coffee and the biscuits, I smiled leaning over and taking a sip, I knew I was still shaking and crying but, it would pass, though the sound of a door opening caught my attention, I looked towards the door locking eyes with Altair, who looked at me with a mix of shock and confusion as I practically launched himself into the room.
“what happened? Are you alright? Who-“
I stopped listening to his bombardment chucking lightly and waiting till it stopped
“nice to see you too?” He groaned sitting next to me and raised a brow
“Alty I’m fine... I just had a moment” he nodded seeming to understand,carefully warping, more like placing, a arm around my shoulders and bringing me slightly closer to him.
“You’ll be alright, you’ve got us”
I could heard his smirk at his words before he moved away “now do me a favour and don’t scare me like that next time?”
“Ah yes, of course, anything for our lord Altair”
“Don’t call him that you’ll inflate his ego”
I chuckled lightly and Altair glared Malik, Who simply shrugged before walking back to the couch.
“Movie sound good” me and Altair nodded as I leaned back sighing happily, watching the screen as he flicked through the movies, though I was happy with just how it was.
I blinked hearing a buzzing half way through the moive, turning to see maliks screen lit up,
“And just who it that?” I raised a brow looking at him, he looked back shaking his head.
“It’s just chee, wondering what I’m doing tomorrow”
“Oh right, she knows you’re her boyfriend now”
“Your not gonna let me forget that are you”
I chuckled and shook my head “of course not”
“Wait so-“ I looked towards Altair who leaned forward “if he’s your step in father figure... does that make chee, your step in mother figure?”
Malik groaned covering his face, muttering something about us being idiots, I and chuckled and made a small fake gasp.
“Malik why didn’t you tell me about my mother!” He let out another groan, to the amusement of Altair who began laughing quietly at his friends embarrassment.
Okay hey! Thanks for reading!
