Ya know, ima change it… ima focus on my education and health , most importantly turn back to Allah (SWT) because that is a priority. Turning back to my religion, especially since I have been reminded by people that I am Muslim when they question me about religion. It frightens me, I think how far I have strayed from my religion while thinking ‘it’s okay, I’ll pray tomorrow”. I want to be a better Muslimah, healthier, in less pain and earning good money, educated. I’m rooting so much for my best self, I’m working on future me. 🥹💕! I’m literally forgetting so much about Islam, astaghfirullah. However, I feel there was something super important that I have experienced and learned. I know more about myself within these past years than I ever did. Like, HELLO!! I’m literally living the lifestyle I want. BABYYYYYYY I LITERALLY AM CHOOSING WHO I AM WITH, WHERE I GO, WHERE I SLEEP!!! I AM EXPERIENCING SO SO SOOOO FUCKING MUCH!!! I am seeing and experiencing everything that I have missed out on and things I wish I did! LIKE I UNDERSTAND WHAT LITERALLY HAS BEEN HAPPENING!! IM LIKE OVERWHELMED WITH JOY SOOOO SOO MUCH JOY!!!
Subhanallah I HAVE LIVED MY CHILDHOOD DREAM QUITE LITERALLY, I AM CURRENTLY LIVING IN.
Depression, willingness to be better (weight loss) - PCOS. 15
10 move. wedding, clit, heartbreak (15) throat
10-12= tumblr, friends. depression. To max, breakdown class.
13 (18). One shot . Depression,
13- 15 Amir khan boxer, marriage. Bubs . Depression. Says wants to marry .
15-16 rampage. rod. healer.
16-17 toxic. FAIL . discovery (?) . living
17-22 not interested. people pleased. rishta nibahna hai (old mentality) VS. i deserve better. COPE? rampage. DEPRESSION. CONFUSION. marriage
23-24 rampage. better. DISCOVERY.
but how is all of that "childhood dream"?
it all worked into building character
discovered what I love (nature stuff)
witnessed my anger threshold
learned to cut connections