Had some positive development standing up for myself today!
I was struggling with someone attempting to micromanage me, and I sat the person down and had a conversation about why their demands were out of place. I explained all I was asking of them is my personal freedom to do as I wish, and to not have to go against my own will, just to make them more comfortable.
The person was not happy, and they asked the classical 'Why are you so sensitive? Why can't anyone tell you anything?' and I refuted it with: 'This is not me being sensitive, I am calmly sitting down and having a honest conversation about this.' and the person got very defensive about this, they visibly got upset by my request and kept defending why it was only right for them to keep doing as they do. So I went on the offensive and said 'I think it's you who is too sensitive about this, why is it a problem if I'm asking for a simple human freedom? You're feeling attacked by it.' and this shut them down.
They still went 'lets not argue about this', which I refuted with 'We're having a calm, normal conversation, this isn't an argument', and they accepted this. And then stopped trying to control what I do.
I'm filled with relief and have my freedom back. This wasn't an abusive person, which is why conversation worked, but I would have never imagined that conversation would work in any case at all, because I'm used to it turning into gaslighting and darvo. It usually puts me off from trying to stand up for myself at all. But today it worked! Sometimes standing up for yourself is good!
