#making discoveries

[whore4mattsturniolo]

me after reading my first piss kink fic

[atths--twice]

Chapter Twenty Nine

I've Always Wondered What It Would Be Like

A discovery is made as they stop to say goodbye to Fauna.

“Oh, it’s good to see the two of you,” Fauna said as Scully and Mulder walked into her shop. “How are you feeling? Oh, your poor face, Agent Scully.”

“I feel like I should be offended by that,” Scully teased, reaching up to touch her cheek and wincing when she felt the scratches on it. “But, I’ll choose not to be as I’ve had worse injuries.”

“And you’re still as good looking as you are? Must have some magic in your DNA or one hell of a skin care routine.”

“She has a mask that she uses,” Mulder stated, gesturing to his own face. “It’s green and rather gooey.”

“It’s not gooey,” Scully said, shaking her head as she smiled at him.

“Hmm,” he hummed with a shrug and Fauna laughed.

“Well, gooey or not, it’s doing its job.” Fauna said and it was Scully’s turn to laugh.

“How are you?” she asked her and Fauna sighed with a nod.

“I’m… a mix of emotions, if I’m completely honest,” she said, chuckling softly. “I’ve spent so much of my time thinking or learning about Sarah, wanting to know all that I could, and now she’s gone. It’s for the best of course, but I can’t help but feel an emptiness over it. I walked in the forest early this morning and it felt… it was just different.”

“I’m sure it will after all this time.” Mulder agreed and Scully exhaled quietly.

“I always wondered what it would be like to see her, to know for certain that she was there, and last night was the closest I ever got,” Fauna said. “I’m thankful for it, but also wish I had actually seen her, you know what I mean?”

“Maybe you never saw her,” Mulder said, smiling kindly at her. “But last night was not the closest you’ve ever been.”

“What?”

“You told us yourself. You said you felt her in the cemetery the day you reached your lowest point.”

“I did, yeah,” Fauna said, nodding slowly.

“When I was there yesterday afternoon, I saw things,” Mulder said. “Things I don’t really know how to explain without sounding completely crazy-”

“Pretty sure we’ve gone way past that,” Scully murmured and he smiled at her.

“It’s like I was in her memories, walking with her at different times in her life. Then I saw you, Fauna,” he said quietly and Fauna gasped.

“You… you did?” she asked and he nodded.

“I heard someone crying and went to see who it was as Sarah was gone. Had been gone for a very long time. I don't know what happened to her after her death as she seemed to just disappear.” His gaze became unfocused and Scully held her tongue so as not to say anything negative, her own recent experiences shaking her once stable ground.

“She heard you, your pain and sadness, and it pulled her from wherever she had been, wanting to help you the way no one had in her own life after losing Obadiah and her father.” He smiled at Fauna as she covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes. “I saw her come and bend to embrace you.”

“It felt like a breeze was surrounding me,” Fauna breathed and Mulder nodded.

“She was there. You even touched her hand, though you didn’t know.”

“Ohh,” Fauna said on an exhale.

“She spoke to you.”

“What did she say?” Fauna whispered, her cheeks wet with tears.

“She said…” Mulder frowned as he thought and then he smiled. “She said that the world might always feel like it's against you, but it was your choice to give it that power.”

“Oh my God, that’s so beautiful,” she said, crying and clapping her hands. “Tell me again so I can write it down. Fuck, where is a pen and some paper when you need them?”

Mulder laughed as he followed Fauna towards the register to tell her the words again and Scully stared after him in confusion.

He remembered all of that, but not that he had called her beautiful? No memory of discussing the moment in his hallway after two years of silence?

He could not remember kissing her?

She stepped away and let out a deep breath as she looked at the bottles of lotions and creams for sale. She heard Fauna laugh and she looked over her shoulder, watching Mulder smile and nod his head at whatever they had been discussing.

Should I tell him? she thought, looking back at the bottles and picking one up and opening it, taking a deep sniff and closing her eyes. Should I tell him what happened? Or would it be best to keep it to myself?

He has no memory of it, she thought, feeling annoyed as she put the bottle back down with a little more force than was needed, the glass clinking into its mates.

If I had no memory of it and he told me what we had done, how would it affect our relationship? Professional or otherwise? she thought, raising her eyebrows as she picked up a heavy bar of white soap, smelling it and humming approvingly at the scent.

“No,” she whispered, her decision made as she shook her head and exhaled.

“No, what?” Mulder asked quietly near her ear, causing her to jump.

“Jesus, Mulder,” she breathed, glaring at him. “Make some noise next time.”

“And not scare you? Where’s the fun in that?”

“Hilarious,” she said, putting the soap back and looking at him as he grinned.

“Agents?” Fauna said, coming toward them with a flat rectangular item in her hands. “I want you to have this. It's one of my most favorite painted renditions of Sarah.” She handed it to Scully who took it and looked at it with a smile.

Sarah stood between the cemetery and a little white house at sunset. Her golden hair down and blowing behind her, her green eyes shining, and her mouth quirked up in a small smile, a basket held in her hands. A man stood in the doorway, smiling at her tenderly. As Scully looked a little closer, wanting to see every detail, Mulder chuckled.

“What?” she asked, turning her head to look up at him.

“It just needs a quilt on the ground for their picnic lunch and I could swear this was a photograph taken of her and Obadiah. Who painted this, do you know?”

“A woman who was passing through a few years back. She wanted to know about Sarah, asking me loads of questions. She spent a lot of time at the cemetery painting that, telling me she found the area to be peaceful and calming. She painted it and brought it to me, thanking me for knowing about Sarah and keeping her memory alive. She wouldn't take any money, just wanted me to have it.”

Scully felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise up like they had in the cemetery last night and she let out a slow breath. Mulder shifting beside her led her to believe he was thinking the same thing she was, as impossible and unbelievable as it seemed.

“What was the woman’s name?” Mulder asked softly.

“Oh, I think it’s on the bottom there. Just her initials though.” She took the painting from Scully and looked at the bottom as Mulder tapped Scully’s hip three times. “Yeah, here it is… SMB. I don’t recollect if she ever said her first name, just used those initials.”

“Fauna…” Scully said, raising her eyebrows. “I think this was meant for you. I can’t accept it.”

“SMB, Fauna,” Mulder said and she stared at him in confusion before her eyes widened. “Sarah Merchant Blackwell.”

“You think… you think she… but that’s impossible,” she whispered, looking at the painting again.

“Nothing’s ever impossible,” Mulder said softly and Fauna nodded, tears in her eyes once again.

“Pick a lotion, or several,” Fauna said, wiping her eyes and holding the painting close to her chest. “Soaps, candles, whatever you want is free of charge. I’ll go put this back in my office and grab you a bag.”

Scully laughed at the dramatic change as Mulder did the same, looking at her as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh, and Agent Scully,” Fauna said, turning around and looking at her with a big smile. “In the spring, our coven will return to celebrating Sarah with our monthly dances. You have an open invitation to join us anytime.”

“Would I have to bring my own rain boots?” Scully asked as she heard Mulder make a noise somewhere between a grunt and a moan.

“I think we could supply you with a pair,” Fauna said, grinning happily.

“The flowers will be back in bloom then, won’t they?”

“Oh yes.”

“Well, then I’m in,” she said and Mulder mumbled something about looking around the shop and walked away as she and Fauna laughed heartily.

[aresteal]

im freaking out

[aye-of-newt]

guys I figured out what I want from therapy now I just need to learn what that type of therapy is called and where I can get it

[rabbiaharon]

Notes, Please: Sequel

I mentioned before that I would try to give an example of writing a chiddush, and how to carefully treat making chiddushim Torah. It’s not a perfect example, because it is still a draft -and there a lot of things editing-wise that haven’t been perfected yet - , but the general ideas -including my answer- have already been discussed and approved by respected rabbis in the community. I wanted to share this with all of you before I went on hiatus.  

In Masecta Shvi'is, in the Talmud Yerushalmi (9:1), the gemara tells over the story of Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai (as is known from Masecta Shabbos Bavli, Perek Bameh Madlikin, 33b). The original story (as brought in Masecta Shabbos in the Bavli) tells of how Yehuda ben Geirim indirectly informed on Rebbi Shimon to the Roman government through starting a rumor (Rashi)... and the Roman Government decreed upon [the latter] the death penalty. Rebbi Shimon, with his son Elazar, hid for 13 years in a cave outside of Tiberia. When he came out, he decided to do a favor for the people of Tiberiaא (who knew he was hiding there, and did not inform the government), and he asked what he could do. The locals explained that there was a section of the city which was paved over a cemetery, and they did not know where the graves were – creating a situation of sofek tumas meis, a doubt of the ritual impurity of a dead body. This prevented Kohanim from walking through that area, and forced them to make inconvenient detours through the city. The local Sanhedrin voted to allow Rebbi Shimon to resolve the sofek tumah, whereupon he performed a miracle – he took leaves of Lupine of Terumah, and threw them into the area of sofek tumah, and all of the corpses which were there, floated up above, loosening the soil in a visible manner – making it easy to mark and for the Kohanim to avoid. The Yerushalmi continues with additional details, which are left out of the bavli:

A certain kusi – a non-jew and a wicked person – saw what Rebbi Shimon had done, and he said to himself “Why don't I go and make a fool out of this jewish elder. I'll take a corpse, and hide it in the place where he already purified.” Afterwards, he went to Rebbi Shimon and said “You didn't finish purifying 'that' place – come with me, and I will show you where the body is.” Rebbi Shimon saw (צפה) with Ruach Hakodesh, that this Kusi had hidden the body himself, and he said “I decree upon you. Those who are above (העליונים שירדו) should descend, and those who are below (התחתונים שיעלו) should ascend.” (or according to an alternate nusach, “I decree upon the those who are above, that they should descend, and upon those who are below, that they should ascend.”) and so it was.

First I would like to humbly suggest an inference which is not stated clearly in the meforshim, but which we may be forced to conclude: That the body which the Kusi had hidden had to have been a Jew, since non-jewish corpses only transmit impurity through physical contact (Bavli Yevamos 61a), and a buried non-jewish corpse would not necessarily be a concern for a kohen walking through the street. Now, seemingly, the ending of this story is not understood. Rebbi Shimon knew that this was a non-jew, and a wicked person (the kusim would every year plow the Temple Mount and attempt to seed it, as a show of disdain for the Jews and our holy places), and he could have figured out that he was up to no good – Hashem does not create a miracle for nothing, and therefore we may ask; Why did Rebbi Shimon need Ruach Hakodesh to know that the Kusi hid the body there. Furthermore, the entire concept of Ruach HaKodesh is supposed to be a hint of Nevuah – Since the body had already been hidden, what would Ruach HaKodesh have anything to do with the actions of the Kusi? As the Meforshim explain, Rebbi Shimon's statement (העליונים שירדו והתחתונים שיעלו) means that the Kusi - who was alive – should descend to the grave, and the corpse – who was buried in the ground (Mahara Fulda, Pnei Moshe) – should arise and live again (and so it was, as the gemara continues). However, there is a another difficulty which arises – according to this explanation – which is that Rebbi Shimon made his statement in Lashon Rabim (The fact that his statement was in a plural tense makes it more difficult to accept that his statement was limited to a single Kusi, and a single corpse). Even if you take the basic understanding, as explained by the poshtan meforshim, why was such a radical solution necessary to counteract the actions of the Kusi. The most which was needed was for the burial location of that body to become obvious and marked, like all of the others – why was it necessary to bring them back to life?

We may give a theoretical answer for the first question – why couldn't Rebbi Shimon figure out what the Kusi was planning, without any Ruach HaKodesh or the like. We state a rule in Masecta Sanhedrin in Bavli that, even for a goy, it is forbidden for the Beis Din to make a judgement and exact punishment based on Umdina – estimation. According to this answer, Rebbi Shimon needed “evidence” in order to punish the aforementioned Kusi. However, a revelation via Ruach Hakodesh does not solve this problem completely, since the beis din requires testimony from witnesses in order to exact punishment – and since neither the gemara, nor any of the meforshim mentioned testimony or witnesses, it would seem that there wasn't any.

In my humble opinion, it may be possible to answer the questions in the following manner. Perhaps what Rebbi Shimon needed Ruach HaKodesh for was in order to understand the solution to the problem which arose from this goy's actions. The problem was, that there was a Jew - a corpse – in a place which had already been purified, in a Makom Tahor. The place itself had already been purified – Rebbi Shimon had already done so – only the body was out of place there. The solution to such a problem was not that there should be a further cleansing of the place, but rather that the person - the corpse – should be affected... that there should be a Techias Hameisim. Furthermore, the grammatical pause between גזר אני עליך  (I decree upon you) and העליונים (Those [who are above]) in the first reading may likely denote that the second half of the statement did not refer specifically to the Kusi, and to the corpse, but a more general target (and in fact, according to the reading presented by the Vilna Gaon, the word עליך is replaced with על, which changes the basic translation from “I decree upon you. Those who are above should descend...etc” to “I decree upon those who are above, that they should descend...etc”, and gives an even more compelling demonstration of this concept) – generally speaking about the attitude of the Non-jews, and all of the Jews... That the non-jews, who think of themselves as “those above” and enjoy trodding on the jews (and for exactly that reason, this Kusi tried to make Rebbi Shimon stumble), should descend from that place, and those who seem physically as “those below” (The Jews, in Golus) should ascend.

Also, it may be that Rebbi Shimon (standing at the beginning of our Exile) was asking  – and making a “halachic ruling”– that there should be at least a beginning to the future techias hameisim, starting with the corpse which the Kusi had hidden.

Footnote:

אThe location, Tiberia, is only mentioned clearly in the Yerushalmi, and not in the Bavli

So we should all merit that Rebbi Shimon’s ruling will come true, and we’ll see the redemption with our own eyes, and without further delay!

--

Aharon Ephraim Ben Reuvain 

[spicy-sial]

wow i just got that A.D.I.D.A.S stands for All Day I Dream About Sshhh (with you)

[annwritesthings]

A second opinion of Unified English Braille, and a writing tip I discovered by reading this new braille code

Hello everyone, After reading my July issue of the Braille Music Magazine produced in Unified English Braille (UEB), in the UK, I have discovered that this change isn’t as bad as I first thought. Here’s why: At first I found the dropping of certain contractions that I was used to seeing in literary braille a bit annoying, but the more I read, the more I got used to the changes, and soon, I wasn’t…

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[mostsincerelymegan]

Note to self..

Packaged sliced American Pepper Jack Cheese does not taste good by itself.