#malaré

[elaphaemourra]

Hell. I'll do it. Whoops, some asshole Sith decided to be an asshole and fuck up a ritual because that's what assholes [and Zash] do, and now your Warriors and Inquisitors have switched bodies. How does everyone fare?

Ok so i spent like the last hour or so or whatever scouring discord for a Specific Image bc my brain immediately went 'Zal and Miakar swap' because THIS IS THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM:

ZAL IS TEENY WEENY AND I THINK IT'D BE AMAZING FOR THE PURE EXPERIENCE OF SUDDEN ALTITUDE DIFFERENCE XJDJDND.

If Eleikiri and Quiatar swapped, it'd be a Wild Ride, for 1 because suddenly Quiatar would have Big Giant Noodles to contend with bc Lekku and also people like trying to Murder Eleikiri for being a Sass Master, but also Eleikiri running around in Quiatar's body is a whole lot of Sudden Horrible Goose Energy in what is usually perceived as a Reserved, Proper Sith.

Malaré and Aea would be... less Jank. For certain. They're basically the same shape, but Mal has montrals, and their both similarly vibed bc Aea is just Barely sith as well.

I'm sorta following continuities for this, just to pair them up, and a Kehsk-Kryage swap would be Nightmarish. Kryage would be fckn UNBELIEVABLY uncomfortable, both from all the tight skin from the sheer volume of scars (many of them burns) on Kehsk's body and his natural tendency towards rampant hypothermia, and also from the fact that HE HAS NO EYES, AND SHE IS USED TO HAVING EYES.

Kehsk would have a 'hhhhhhh' over it, bc Mmm No Thank You This Is Janky Nope. Suddenly Taller by like 4 inches and also EYES WHAT THE FUCK???? WHY ARE THEY LIKE THAT. WHY DO THEY NEED TO BLINK. HOWMST. Jjdjdjdjddj

It's a Whole pile.

[swtorcompanionsgoofin]

It's Dromund Kaas' Kaas City Exhibition Day—the day when Sithly Sith and Old Fuck Imperials alike can hang up their weapons and just *enjoy* participating in random sports for entertainment (and of course, the honour of saying you destroyed your superiors Moff Imadick or Lord Ilostmaballs in a heated game of paddle-ball)—and it's time for the next event. Let's introduce the competitors: Your Inquisitors. The stage: An inflatable wrestling ring filled with wet dirt. The sport: Mud wrestling. Who will emerge the victor? :3c

>:0 NOW I’M MAD AT MYSELF FOR FALLING ASLEEP BEFORE I COULD READ THIS, BC THIS ASK IS FUCKING AMAZING

FUCK, THIS IS GOOD.

ok

ok

So like, you’d think, that the one who wins would be the One Person whose job it is to be Extremely Physical.  I have One assassin, and she’s a little shit.  She’s strong.

The thing is tho, Kehsk is strong too.

He’s actually like, he doesn’t look strong bc his fckn coat makes him look like a tiny little marshmallow in a fckn snow suit, but like, actually pretty strong.  Like, wow.  Kid’s got some muscle.

Zal’s at home in the mud and muck but also is a Twig and would get Smooshed jfdklaj.  And tbh Voremoura and Malaré would probably throw it fjklajfa.  They’re not so much the ‘get into the mud’ types fjdkla.

So it’d be between Kehsk and Eleikiri and Kehsk could probably actually kick Eleikiri’s ass in a one-on-one thing.

[elaphaemourra]

I wanted to think of Good Scenario, but I forgot to eat today, so Brain went Splat. Therefore, Sith Inquisitors. If each one (individually) was forced to complete the Imperial version of an Escape Game (which, considering the Sith Empire, would probably be Much More Elaborate than an iRL Escape Game), and they're given the choice of Harkun, Zash, or Thanaton as their teammate, who would each Inquisitor pick and how would they go about winning the game? :D

You are Incredibly valid.

RIGHT ON. I'm going to assume this is like, escape game as in escape rooms, bc i googled it and that was the first thing to come up lmfao.

Zal would pick Zash. He's not Ever working with Thanaton, that bastard killed his kids, and he doesn't enjoy Lording Superiority over people which I feel is the only way that dynamic could comfortably fall with Harkun. Zash is reliable in her brand of Sneaky, and she's quick. He knows her better than he knows the other two as well, so she's PREDICTABLE. Granted, he doesn't like her much, mostly bc he likes Khem and he trusted Zash before she pulled that 'SIKE, I'm a DICK' thing on him. I think they'd work pretty well together, they have in the past, and where Zash is very 'be clever be studious', Zal's a very tactile/experiential learner who is good at practical stuff. They'd pair up well.

Eleikiri would pick Harkun. JUST to piss him off. That is Literally the only reason. She's a little shit and she WILL pick people based on how much Angery she can cause in others. They'd spend hours in there, far past when they should have figured it out, all because Eleikiri was determined to piss off Harkun as much as physically possible.

Malaré would also go Zash. She and Zal are very similar, both are pretty patient and level-headed. She's Not about to deal with Harkun's dumbshittery tho. Not happening. Harkun Sucks and she's gonna sit there and quietly flip him off from behind Zash. This wouldn't be AS effective a team-up as Zal and Zash, but they'd work together well enough.

Kehsk would, weirdly enough, pick Thanaton. Everyone else has this Problem of 'if they let Thanaton out of their sight he might Try Something' but that's not an issue with Kehsk. He's a miraluka. He got 360° "vision". Kehsk's also basically what happens when you give someone a grenade and say 'this explodes, but it also might heal you. Good luck.' If Thanaton wants to pull that pin, Kehsk will not only see it coming, but be More than capable of throwing hands. Their team-up would be... Weirdly Quiet. Not a lot of actual conversation or anything, just Weird and Quiet and Tense, and even weirder it would be efficient. Like. What. Thanaton Knows he's never out of sight and Kehsk knows he can never let his guard down. It's weird. It works better than it should.

Voremoura would choose Harkun, mostly for the purposes of 'haha get WRECKED we have to work together'. She'd probably end up kicking him by the end. Or walk out and just, WHACK, "fuck you."

And here is their SLIDES

[elaphaemourra]

Sith Inquisitor vs Sith Warrior Dance Party. Everything is allowed including lightsabres as glowsticks and lightning as ambience. Who wins?

The warriors xjdjssjs. Zal doesn't really dance, he's a music person (which he HIDES bc he's a DORK) but not a dance person. Kehsk would be a DUMPSTERFIRE, not really dance-y, and he doesn't tend to try. He's got rhythm but it's all in his hands and torso.

But Miakar and Kryage have No Shame in the dance department. And neither does Aea. And Aea has actual training in different dance varieties.

Eleikiri would try So Hard to match it, but she wouldn't. The only inquisitor who has like, Actual Skill that they can pass off as Fine off of pure bullshitting it is Malaré, but that's basically it lmfao.

The warriors have too many 'no shame' people, the inquisitors have too much No Fun Zone Childhoods, and folks with rhythm but no need to dance lol.

Voremoura would sit in the back corner with the No Dance pile, bc apparently my inquisitors are just Danceless Fools lmfaooo.

Quiatar would also sit out, the one warrior who isn't Into It xjdjdjdjd.

[elaphaemourra]

Sith Undercover Mission Time! Because WHY NOT. Murder has no rules. Anyways, each one (You can pick which Sith since you have many many Warriors and Inquisitors) paired with Khem Val/Broonmark (depending on class) and Talos/Pierce (again depending on class). Who dresses like the Loth-Cat and commits the murder, who wears the lacy lingerie and pretends to be a dancer, and who creates the distraction by "crashing" the party and declaring that Zash/Baras is UNFAITHFUL TO THE RELATIONSHIP?

Fjdjxjjddjdjd i'm gonna be real with u my warriors are SUPER baby and none of them even have Jaesa yet, so I'm going for A Few Inquisitors fjdjdjd. I love this tho.

Eleikiri: she'd put Khem in the lace and Talos in the cat suit, and she herself would do the bursting in, probably in one of those fckn inflatable costumes, like the fckn t rex suits, but like, a tauntaun. Because there's nothing quite like getting yelled at by an inflatable tauntaun.

I can dress Kehsk like the cat for murder but ONLY if it's a full-thick-thing bc he needs Layers or he'll get hypothermia and Die bc his body decided that its nat temp equilibrium was going to be 'too cold to live' even tho I think he could pull off Lace. He would just, y'know, be in Peril.

Malaré could pull off the Lace thing, and have Khem in the Murder Cat Position. Talos gets to Theatrics lol. All that Drama djsjsjs.

Fjjddjdj Zal just Wouldn't Do It. He'd bail and stay home fjdjdjdjdd. He wouldn't make any of his crew do any of that for him, Especially not the Get Lacy deal, and he is NOT a 'be without shirt' kind of guy. It'd be a hell of a way for people to find out about how fckn Rekt his skin is (bc I have No Chill when it comes to scar maps and design for those), but he'd put his foot down or find another way to deal. If he REALLY had to make his crew do that, he'd wait for someone to volunteer for a thing bc He Is Not Vibing With That Shit Thank You Very Much.

[elaphaemourra]

Have a WTF ask starring your Sith Inquisitors inspired by me needing to never have Internet access. It's time to visit the store to buy things, but whoops, instead of a Sithly market, they're now inside an average Walmart Supercenter. What do they buy and how do they handle the ~Walmart Experience~? :D

Oh hell yes, we back on our bullshit tonight y'all.

Eleikiri shoplifts half the store. She can do the Invisible, and she's a cheeky bastard who Causes Problems On Purpose. She shoplifts half the store. It's a whole mess. She shouldn't have taken that much. But she did. Oops.

Malaré would be... taken aback. Like. She'd VIBE and just get her shit done, hope nobody questions it, and leaves. Probably be startled by the greeters, but otherwise just do a quiet in-and-out.

Voremoura would just glare at people until they went away. Sometimes u gotta shop in peace and walmart isn't the place for peaceable shopping.

I think Kehsk would get a little too into the whole 'they have to be nice and pleasant to you' thing, not knowing that's what it was, and he'd end up when someone was like 'can i help u' he'd just 'i can't read i have no eyes, can u point me at the snacks I'm trying to figure out if my uncle's trying to pull some shady shit that maybe involves murder and that kind of thinking needs brain power.' Like holy SHIT, Kehsk u can't just say that to random people. It's bad form.

I... can't tell if Zal would be the most or the least perturbed out of my inquisitors. On one hand, he's the most functional adult out of all of them. On the other hand tho, he spent the first 27 YEARS of his life not really registering that capitalism existed and didn't go into a real store for another 2 years after that, when he figured out he was allowed to exchange Money for Clothing. Like, either he'd find some poor overworked retail staff and give them a pep talk, or he'd be Overwhelmed by how MUCH there is.

Like, I came back from France and went into a meijer and went 'WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS HUGE' and it wasn't even the big one. Like. Odds are he'd be overwhelmed, he's not used to Stuff as far as the eye can see. He'd get out as soon as possible. It's just a Lot.