#malayangmalaya

[malayangmalaya]

Makakauwi Rin

Kung nawawala tayo Alam ko ang paborito mong pabango Mga paborito mong almusal At kung saan ka pwedeng kumain Alam ko rin kung saan ka madalas tumambay Para makipagkwentuhan at lumanghap ng nikotina Alam mo kung anong oras ako madalas gumising At kung saang sulok ako matatagpuan Kung anong gusto kong ulam At kung ilang tasa ng kape ang kailangan ko Kung nawawala tayo Malapit lang ang uuwian natin At kung nagkatampuhan man tayo Magkasakitan at magkalimutan Ng mga pangarap para sa Nalalapit at nalalayong bukas Uuwi pa rin ako sayo Uuwi ako sayo Tatakbo ako palapit sayo At alam kong kahit gaano katagal Kahit gaano karaming masasakit na salita Ikaw pa rin yung taong Kabisado ang hulma ng likod ko Kabisado ang mga espasyo sa pagitan ng mga daliri ko Uuwi ako sayo At yayakapin kita Kagaya nang pagyakap ng kamang Higit pa sa sampung taon mo nang Paulit ulit hinihigaan Alam na kung anong masakit Alam na kung saan ka kailangang bumaling Uuwi ako sayo At kahit pagod na tayong pareho Dito lang tayo Dito kung saan lapat ang mga pakiramdam natin Dito kung saan lapat ang mga pagod natin Dito kung saan walang huhusga sa atin Makakauwi rin tayo Sa isa't isa

[malayangmalaya]

I had problems with my vision

I don’t like working hard for people.

I’m that person who leaves, because the guy turned out to be a fan of this certain genre. I’m that person who hates being told what to do and what not to do. I’m that person who leaves whenever it’s already inconvenient for me.

I’m the person who never quite went ahead of the passionate stage of relationships. I hate long, mundane months. I hate dry conversations, and short replies for sweet random messages.

I keep asking myself why I was never able to keep a long relationship, and why I never stayed. I came up with one answer: I don’t like working hard for people.

But the truth is relationships aren’t only about the good days, and the high times. Most of it is mundane, and most of it is patience. A lot of it is hard work, and hard work.

And just more hard work.

I keep asking for romantic gestures, as if I am a princess from a fairytale. I keep wishing for poetic nights, as if I’m a goddam poet myself. I keep asking for the petty, immediate efforts when someone is willing to give so much more - something more, like investing time with me and my family.

I keep denying myself of the real stuff, because I overlook the grand picture with the nitty-gritty details of my daily demands. I preoccupy myself with the nonsense of nothing, but I can’t take myself to the point when I am ready to invest myself and my time for someone. And investing my time and myself means that I become patient, and wait gracefully for the blooming of whatever it is I’m planting.

But these days, I am with someone who makes me question my ways, and my stupid immaturity. I’m with someone who opens up, shows me how vulnerable he can be, tells me wants to be the this man for me.

For all you know, I also want the same things. I just need to come my senses - and it’s not that these are highly reliable senses - and realign myself. I am not just after the romance and the pettiness of relationships. I want to start working hard for people, especially you. I want to start seeing the grand pictures, and start letting go of my nearsightedness.

I want to work hard for this, until I can tell myself that I no longer have rooms for regrets.

[malayangmalaya]

[malayangmalaya]

Si B(eh)

Hindi talaga ako matandain e. Inaral ko kung paano lumimot ng mukha, mga kwentuhan, mga petsa, at kung ano pang nakakasagabal sa matagal ko nang inaasam asam na ‘equilibrium’.

Hindi ko natatandaan lahat ng kinwento ko sayo. Hindi ko na nga rin natatandaan na para akong tanga na itatanghalian yung chocolate na bigay mo. Pero hindi kita nalilimutan. Hindi ko nalilimutan na tinawag mo akong 'Beh’ sa formal meeting natin sa office.

Hindi ko nalilimutan yung gabi na uminom tayo at ang bottomline nang mahaba nating kwentuhan ay, “Oo, ilang taon kayong magkasama. Pero mas mahaba pa yung mga taon ahead of you.

So pili ka na lang.”

Hindi ko rin nalilimutan yung paborito nating kanta sa videoke. Lagi pa nga tayong duet, kahit offbeat ka. Aminin mo na. Tapos isusunod mo na yung korean song na feeling ko iniimbento mo lang - pero bakit don hindi ka na offbeat?

Hindi ko rin nalilimutan yung FebFair natin noong 2015. Lakas maka-date nung gala natin.

Marami na rin nagsabi sa akin noon, tayo na lang kaya. Pero hello. Iba kasi tayo e, iba yung dynamics nating dalawa. Sorry, hindi pang-romansa.

Sadyang gets mo ako, at gets kita. Sadyang gets mo na fickle minded at overthinker ako. Sadyang komportable tayo sa isa’t isa. Na kahit saglit pa lang tayo nagkakakilala at lumalabas, parang andami na natin pinagsamahan.

Marami naman kasi talaga. Kasi bawat parte ng buhay mo ibinahagi mo sa akin - yung minsang 'sharing’ pa nga over korean food with your mukhang korean na housemate.

Miss na miss na kita. Miss ko na yung witty statements ng sweaters mo. Miss ko na yung mga rants mo. Miss ko na yung buhok mo, for some reason na hindi ko alam.

Sa lahat ng pinagdaanan mo, mga failed attempts mo, at mga walang hiyang nakikala mo sa Tinder - you deserve to be happy. You always deserve to be happy.

At hindi ko na sasabihin dahil alam kong ikaw yung tipong hindi nagsesettle. Alam kong alam mo yung para sayo. At hindi ka magsesettle dahil lang siya yung lechugas na only available ngayon.

Cheers, dahil tapos na tayong gawing kumplikado ang mga buhay natin. Cheers, to LDR friendship.

Miss na miss na kita. See you in 2017!

[malayangmalaya]

See this through with you, I will.

[malayangmalaya]

[malayangmalaya]

I Can’t Keep Up

I can’t keep up See, I’m not just sad or just alone I can’t keep up The days been running too fast And I don’t want to keep up With the speed, with the fast pacing Of everything, of leaving people Of trying to pursue dreams Of trying

These days can I just sit down Stare at you, maybe And just let time pass me by Let my friends wear their Self-proclaimed trophies Let everyone cry about their Colorful lives Let everyone tell me they have Secure bank accounts I don’t really care I don’t want to join their game It’s too petty It’s an illusion, a bait, a trick

Can’t you see?

No one’s ever too happy Tell me what you do when you’re alone And you’re not having an intimate time Tell me what you do When everyone has left you Do you hug the likes and the hearts that you get Do you fancy over the comments And tell yourself “Hey, world, look at me, everyone likes me”

Because the truth is it’s all a lie A hack of reality A disparity between what’s called life and lie Because the truth is you also want to cry When you’re alone and no one’s asking you out Because they got new friends to spend their nights with Go home wasted, and they have already forgotten How you took care of them

I can’t keep up So go along, don’t drag me Don’t waste me Don’t try to tell me I’m running too slow One day I might get left out

I’d rather stay here, embrace humanity See where my vulnerabilities can take me I can’t keep up With your mask parade I like it raw and broken I like it me I like it just it is

Slow, so I can smell the winds Slow, so I can count the grace falling on me Slow, because I’d like to take time To thank every person who has come to help me To tell me that “Hey, you’re not alone”

I can’t keep up And maybe I never will Just tell me how it is in the finish line Because I think I’m not running towards A finish line, or a one-stop destination

I can’t keep up See, I’m not just sad I just choose to be The human I’m supposed to be

[malayangmalaya]

NANINIWALA PA RIN AKO

Naniniwala pa rin ako Kahit hindi ko na mabilang Kung ilang beses ako nasaktan Nakakita ng mga taong umalis Nakarinig ng masasakit na salita Hindi madali Gumising sa araw araw Makarinig ng balita Na kagabi lang may binawian ng buhay Sa di katanggap tanggap na paraan At sa kasalanang pwede pang gamutin Ayusin Hindi na ba kayang ayusin Pero naniniwala pa rin ako Na kahit marami nang hindi Marunong magmahal at magmalasakit Kahit marami nang sinugatan At binunutan ng pagasa May mga natitira pa ring Kagaya nila Na kahit hindi magkakikala Kahit pinaglalayo ng di malamang harang Ng lipunan Ay marunong pa ring makakilala Ng kapwa tao Marunong pa ring magmahal Sa kabila ng maraming pagkakaiba Marunong tumanggap ng mga bagay Na sabi ng lipunan Layuan mo sila Hindi mo sila kilala Sasaktan ka nila Pero hindi ba't pare-pareho lang tayong Sumusubok mabuhay