The Smosh Mall AU fic! Join our favorites as they navigate everyday mall shenanigans, and the tyrannical rule of Defy Enterprises' district manager, Dave Dilford.
Link to fic is in the title.
Individual moodboards here:
Birdie’s Book Nook | Food Court | It’s 4:20 Somewhere | Josie’s Department Store | JoyStix Games | Nerd Planet Comics | Security Office | Toy Zone
But most people had only started working here in the past few years, they didn’t know half the history that Shayne and Courtney did. The couple could tell you so many stories about the history of the place – they remembered OGs Of Gaming, the old video game store that went under some years ago, before video gaming saw a resurgence and JoyStix opened up in its place. They’d been around for Will It Taco, Rhett and Link’s failed food court venture before they took their jobs with the security team. They even remembered when Damien was first hired at Nerd Planet Comics and Collectibles. A dollar store in the mall had closed a few months prior, due to the owner’s mysterious disappearance. When Damien arrived at the comic book store for the first time, Shayne had greeted him with a raised eyebrow and a “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Damien had told him no – he was new, just moved here – but Shayne would be damned if Damien didn’t look exactly like the former owner of ‘How Much Money In The World Dollars Is It Does It Cost?’.
we were like the mall before the internet (it was the one place to be) by @toomuchsmoshbrainrot
Hey cemetery! I know you've been mainly in lusse's inbox w/ the mall au. But do you have any personal headcannons or anything about the goobers? :)
Lmao. I guess technically a lot? But also a lot of it was also projecting what I have done/heard on Bendy and Cuphead.
@luseefoxee13 ig? Since Mall AU ask?
THERE IS TALK ABOUT ADULT TOYS AND STALKERS DUE TO TALKING ABOUT SPENCER'S. NOTHING EXPLICIT. Just about it as products.
Uhhh
I want to start with PERSONALLY I would probably hc that Boris and Cuphead are just friends BUT that is SOLELY because one of my coworkers actually did date a mall security guard (no idea WHY they thought it was a good idea) and uh... He.... Kinda... Sorta borderline stalked them afterwards? So the specific dynamic of Spencer's employee/Mall security kinda makes my skin crawl. (Basically if anyone else wants that, you do you. Imma just going to be avoiding any posts about it to the best of my ability until the ick feeling goes away.)
That being said. It's actually really funny because our previous co-manager was dating a Hott Topic manager!
Now actual head cannons:
*Bendy 100% has a 'customer service voice* He will go from sounding pissed off/at the end of his rope to happy and cheerful when greeting anyone who enters the store back to sounding like he's fed up with life. (This is something some of the other workers will find funny. Not sure why but it will get laughter/giggles.)
*Bendy sends Cuphead to work Spirit during the Halloween season just for a little break depending on how much he has ticked him off that year. Cuphead always says something like: I can't believe my own father is kicking me out. On the off chance that Cuphead asked to go then he would tell everyone he's defecting.
-Cups ADORES working Spirit because the babies. Little kids who ask him to hell tie their shoe or kids afraid of the animatronics and grabs his hand and asks him to set them off. Kids happily chatting about what they want. The happiness when he can help them find what they are looking for.
-Has had to siphon fog juice from a connection pipe before. It would have been one of the tall fogging animatronics that had the fog machine lower which causes a slump in the pipe. When it stops working he would be the one sent to see what's going on. The machine and animatronic would be working right but then he would blow really hard in the tube and he would get a mouth full of fog juice back. Turned out the fog juice cooled in the tube and the liquid caused the blockage so every now and then it had to be taken off and dropped so the liquid would drain out.
*I can see Bendy forgetting the ages of the younger employees and thinking they are older than they are and Cuphead having remind him that 'No. He can't take out the trash he is 17.' 'Thats fine. He turns 18 in what? A month?' '...Bendy his birthday is in September... It's May.' '....Why did I think he was turning 18 soon?'
*Cuphead referring to ANYONE even a few minutes younger than him as a kid/baby/toddler. 'You are a toddler, why are you working here?'
*Oooo Bendy looking young even though he's older and having to remind everyone else (except Cuphead) that he is NOT the same age as them. Bendy telling Cuphead that a customer asked him if he was old enough to drink when he was explaining the beer bongs and him having to tell him YES. (Kinda like that Motm ask with Boris)
*Sharing my hatred of the Spencer's inventory log (At one point a Metallica shirt could ONLY be found by typing JUSTICE, as in Justice for all, the tiny words in the corner and NOT THE FREAKING BAND NAME) Cuphead can eventually find any product sku. It might take him hunting down a picture online and accidentally coming across the tag as someone tries to resell the shirt, it might take adjusting the search parameters or typing weird words with a hope and a prayer, but he also finds it in the end.
*CUPHEAD GIVES NO FUCKS IN THE BACK OF THE STORE! Only time he's uncomfortable is when a customer comments about him to him. Otherwise he's opening the new toys to see how they work, he's opening the weird one that has a 'silicon skin' and as he is stroking it and pinching it because it feels weird he asks if this is how a normal dick works (he's porcelain. He probably doesn't have much skin elasticity.)
-*some guy* "Yeah, you probably don't need one because of your girlfriend."
"While I appreciate you think I have a girlfriend, I do not."
"You're gay?"
"No."
-Cuphead LOVES the chunky glitter ones because when the overhead lights hit just right they reflect on the ceiling.
*Eclipse would fit in so well at Spencer's from what I've read about her.
-THE SEASONAL TOONS WORKING FOR SPIRIT HALLOWEEN AND SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS!!! Those stores DO open in Malls sometimes too!!!!!!!
*Connie works at Hott Topic.
*Dyle is the employee that seems a little too strict that you kinda want to avoid but once you start talking he is actually great. He's also really good at knowing the store. Like, he knows where all the prod is at all time with maybe the exception of Clearance because that's a MESS
*Sprout has had to go yell in the Back Hallways of the mall because he witnessed a customer using the candy scoop to eat a piece of candy that is not how we do free samples.
*Sprout and Cosmo are one of those independent candy shops that is located only at that specific mall and are their own bosses. It's 100% the reason why Sprout has t gotten fired for yelling at the adults.
*Ya know? Why not project on Mugman? He's gender fluid and mostly sticks with they/them at work because there had been an employee that was a dick about gender pronouns so fuck that one person in particular.
-Usually just goes by Mugs because it's easier for the little kids to say, but also it's gender neutral so on more feminine days she doesn't have to make sure she switches out name tags
-Thrills over someone calling her ma'am on Girl Days because it's reassuring she passes
*Cuphead HAS changed his name in the work system (idk if all places have this but Spencer's does. It also transfers between Spirit and Spencer's) He changed it to something like 'Cupperware' or something equally dumb, but he also just has Cups on his name tag so he forgets until a fellow employee asks or Bendy calls him that.
*The C-bros wander the mall hallways after their shifts and so they know how all the back hallways connect. Cuphead is CONVINCED that the weird BLACK PAINTED PLYWOOD WALLED ELEVATOR is actually a elevator to hell.
-Actually one mall I helped at had a random spot in the back halls that... Looked like the side of a house? Like it had like a roof like thing going on and solid white with a random colored door that didn't match the others? Just... in the hallways. Very weird, very creepy when you are there at 5am by yourself when you had never been there before. 100% they found something like that.
*Bendy has chased guests while off the clock to yell at them for inappropriate behavior with employees.
*Cuphead and Bendy go into guard dog mode when there is a threat or a customer makes an employee uncomfortable. That guest comes in every time you work? Changing your schedule and if you spot him signal us and head to the back room, customer starting to stalk you? We will walk you to your car, etc.
*Soft pastel Astro. Like, all his normal colors but soft pastels. Little kids adore him because he's so pretty.
*Genderneutral/agender Astro. Uses he/them for simplicity sake but just doesn't care if he's called her either.
*Scraps LOVES working Libby Lu style store. She can help little kids pump however much body soap of each color into the dispenser or help with the glitter for their 'Fairy dust'. She always makes sure the make your own bracelet area is fully stocked and the make your own perfume is cleaned.
*Glisten doesn't hate it. He likes doing the kids hair when they are sitting still (more likely to happen because when they go there for a haircut it's because most of the kids WANTED their hair done there.) He also likes discussing makeup to the kids as he does it. He explains what he's doing and why, but in a kinda teaching aspect if they ask.
*Goob is NOT allowed in there because glitter WILL get on him and he WONT be able to get it off for months
*WHEN THEY GET THE MINI DUCKS CUPHEAD 100% BLOWS HIS PAYCHECK ON BUYING ALL OF THEM! He hides those fuckers everywhere. His store, Mugman's store, Dandy's store, the candy store. He hides them in spots he knows Boris and Shelly will find them.
*EVERYONE in the mall knows Bendy, Dandy and the c-bros. Astro is known more in his wing of the mall specifically. That said, they have friends in other stores that hook them up with free or employee discounts. Like, Cups has a friend that works Doc Martins and will pass them money to get Mugs new platforms for cheaper.
*...Bendy and Cups climb the back room fixtures rather than get a ladder (like climbs on the shelves. Especially Bendy.)
*Bendy refuses to get a ladder more than he needs so he uses one of those grippy claw things they make for older people on tall things when he can. Plastic cups? Glass lightbulb shaped cup? It gives the employees SO much anxiety.
*Shrimpo had dared Cups to drink one of the weird little kid concoctions that got left behind at Scraps' store. Mugs yelled at both of them when he did.
* Following that: poor impulse control Cuphead as in had a piece of glace from a broken shot glass. Made direct eye contact with Bendy and both knew deep in their soul that if Bendy wasn't there Cuphead WOULD have popped it in his mouth without hesitation.
*C-bros are unofficially mooninkpetals's kids. Like, it started as a joke but Bendy fusses over the employees health (maybe due to his poor health?) and Cuphead is one of his longest employees. He brings food when he knows the boys are struggling and says he was emptying the fridge or its about to expire but Boris packed him lunch or he doesn't like this brand.
-Dandy accepted being called mom, but when whatever is going on with him and Bendy becomes more serious he realizes the dad title is less of a joke than the three think it is.
-Astro would be the gentle parent of the trio whenever he gets dragged into it. Not a pushover, but gentle.
*EVERYONE hates the groups of 5+ that come in. ESPECIALLY middle schoolers and teens. They are usually the most disrespectful annoying customers. They try opening products or they try throwing things. They think they are funny screaming Fuck but they actually make the employees wish they were allowed to punch one customer a week.
These are all for now and again these are my PERSONAL ones based on my experience actually working at a mall/venting about work.
