#manda.posts

[itsmanda]

So i was just contemplating what might have been different if Buck wasn't a firefighter.

It occured to me that there's the possibility that Chris would still have gone to the pier that day with whoever was babysitting him. And it would have been with someone who wouldn't fight for Eddie's son as much as Buck did. And the end of that day may have had a very different outcome.

[itsmanda]

So in 2x04 Stuck - only the fourth episode of Eddie - we have

Buck asking why Eddie doesn't date. (Testing the waters there Buck? 😉)

Buck being the one team member who follows Eddie into the hospital and meets members of Eddie's extended family. We didn't see their exit from the truck, but at this point Eddie doesn't seem at all phased that Buck is with him.

When Christopher is at the station due to lack of childcare and Bobby comes over, Buck has already told Bobby that it'd happen and it's all cleared.

Buck reels off all this information to Maddie that he's picked up about Eddie's situation with Chris and finding suitable childcare. He's had a long conversation with Pepa by the sound of it.

Buck pretty much gushing to Maddie about Christopher and Eddie.

The "boy crush on Eddie" line.

Buck being his fix it self and introducing Eddie to Carla. This small act has such an impact on Eddie's life going forwards.

I think that here we have Eddie experiencing the result of saying that Buck can have his back a couple of episodes back.

And we end with Buck starting to come to the realisation that it's time to leave Abby in the past.

[itsmanda]

I rewatched 2x08 Buck, Actually tonight and the parallel between

Buck: I guess I can only hope to find something that good. Thomas: You don't find it, son. You make it.

and 5x02 Desperate Times

Eddie: Somehow we became a ready-made family and I don't know if I'm ready for that.

suddenly stood out so much to me.

Buck and Eddie have absolutely made their relationship what it is over the years, nothing about it was ready-made.

It's things like this that really make me hope that we really are winessing a slow burn.

[itsmanda]

I find such irony in Taylor "the truth is worth everything" Kelly being in a relationship of lies (both in how they feel about one another and in how they got to be living together) for the past season and in how she makes a promise to Buck knowing she'll never actually follow through on that promise.

I literally had the "she lied like a lying liar" phrase pass through my brain during the scenes in the apartment about not reporting on Jonah.

I'm kind of hoping Buck will mention the latter point during the breakup scene next episode.

[itsmanda]

I'm kind of hoping, whilst also doubtful, that this season we'll learn about what happened to Matt in that period after his mother murdered his father and before he was an adult. I've been wondering since season 1 but they've never mentioned it.

Griffin and Ben are now a similar age to Matt when they had a mother in jail and a dead father. I can imagine that could well be playing a part in his reaction, given he can understand what they're going through to a good extent. Plus obviously the fact that these are the kids of one of his best friends, and he'd always do his all for them.

[itsmanda]

Rewatching 9-1-1 s01e02 and the scene with Buck having sex with the therapist, and it really is pretty appalling. I mean Buck is clearly pretty traumatised by losing that guy Devon at the rollercoaster, he was just tearing up about it, and then that happened.

I mean, he seems to be using it to deflect away from dealing with the uncomfortable emotions seeing as he just said that he doesn't do talking about emotions. And in the middle of that intense conversation he changed the subject suddenly to ask her about the FB friending. As a therapist you'd hope she'd have seen that quite blatantly. So the fact that she just went on to sleep with him in the middle of a session... jeez.

I'm glad Buck does later find Dr Copeland. Those scenes and sessions are such a contrast to this particular car crash.

[itsmanda]

You know, your favourite character leaving a TV series is an awful lot like a colleague that you’re friends with leaving a job.

You have the “them” feelings of being happy for them, that they’re doing what’s best for them (the actor in this case). And I’m the first to encourage people to make a change for whatever is best for their lives or their mental health or whatever. Because in the end, a job is just a job. Always do what is best for you.

And then you have the “me” feelings, where you’re devasted that someone you love won’t be there day to day with you anymore (the character in this case). You won’t get any more moments in that job. You have this hole where they used to be. 

And either you get used to things going forward and settle into the new rhythm. Or you find it’s just too wrong without them, that they were a big part of why you were here, until you decide that it’s also time for you to leave.

Just something I’ve pondered over today.

[itsmanda]

It's been a while since I've sketched anything, but with how much I've watched Chicago Fire recently and today being the 200th episode, doing something themed seemed a good way to get out of a rut!