Present day msr. New Years Eve.
Even in the dim half-light of the cars interior she can see the muscle that jumps and twitches at his jawline, the tension and disappointment all too evident on his face as he stares fixedly ahead, hands gripping the wheel just tightly enough to whiten his knuckles.
He should be wearing gloves she thinks.
Because although the interior is warm enough right now, the frigid temperature outside will soon steal the warmth from them.
She reaches out and tentatively covers the top of his hand with her smaller one, squeezing gently and working her fingers beneath his whilst almost subconsciously tracing small circles with her thumb against the soft skin, and she wonders how many times she has held this hand in hers. So many years gone by, so many roads travelled together, so many changes in both thier lives and yet he still can't seem to let go of the guilt that overtakes him when something goes wrong and it reminds her that in many ways he is still as fragile as he has ever been.
He is, as always though, incapable of ignoring her touch and he returns the pressure, acknowledging her concern but still staring straight ahead, and she knows exactly what he is thinking.
A special night ruined by a temperamental rental car and his insistence that they make the long drive home to ring in the start of the new year in thier own home rather than yet another faceless motel room in an unfamiliar town and even though they would probably only have made it back with an hour or so to spare, she had seen how important it was to him and had pushed tiredness aside and humoured him in his plan.
And all had gone well to begin with. The weather was good, the roads clear and the music selection keeping them both in high spirits as they ate up the miles and home began to draw them ever closer. Until the car had suddenly lurched alarmingly to the left, a shrill warning alarm had pierced the air around them and a few seconds later they coasted to a gentle halt as the engine shuddered and died. Several attempts to restart had amounted to nothing and finally they had accepted defeat and called recovery services who had apologetically informed them that it might take a couple of hours to come rescue them.
New Year, as it turned out, would pass them by this year while they languished by the side of a deserted highway.
Still not turning his head, she watches as he closes his eyes briefly.
"This isn't how I envisioned we would see out the year...I just...thought after everything you've had to deal with this last few months that you deserved better than a crappy motel and greasy diner food. I just wanted us to be home together."
She smiles, scootching closer to him, gratified when he finally takes his eyes off the road ahead and slips his arm around her, pulling her close so she can share his warmth. This man who has been her constant for over half her life and who, she realises, still doesn't quite get it.
A quarter of a century together traveling innumerable roads, thousands of miles steeped in both joy and heartache but always somehow finding a way to bring them back to each other against all the odds.
And she kisses him softly, inhaling the scent of him that is as familiar to her as anything has ever been, because even if he hasn't quite figured it out yet, one day he will realise that when she is with him, she is already home.
