I love how everyone is so mature and respectful in tears of themis such a refreshing thing to read 💆🏻♀️
Artem encouraging mc’s more emotional tendencies (being herself) saying that there’s nothing wrong with it. Though still giving her advice (in his logical manner) as he is her/was her superior.
Marius being self-aware of his own life, personality/wants, and responsibilities and making sure mc is okay with whatever is happening (“‘only dance with me’ sounds kinda bossy”, him filling his role as a president while doing what he loves = art ++ letting his dad continue to retire even if business isnt his major, him sending mc flats !!!!, the thing about the papz and mc at first wanting someone to switch with her on the caseee)
Luke acknowledging the 8 years they’ve been away from mc and so letting things happen naturally and letting her almost make the ‘first moves’ (imo) and him being patient of her own responsibilities/life (mc not being able to go out with him after a week of saying she will hang out with him omg)
Vyn actually looking out for mc (yk what i mean 😭 like compared to those other wattpad toxic male love interests). (Him continuing on to question in the bar who sells illegal drugs thing, if im remembering correctly—him pulling mc from getting cut from the glass shards)
Hello!! M not too sure if ur busy with requests but I love your writing so I wanted to give this 'idea' that I've had for a bit now. If you don't mind, can I request a fic with Marius where he and reader broke up bcs he chose being the CEO of pax over the reader? It's really angsty ik but maybe with a happy ending? Thank you!!
ANON IM LIVING finally some good fuckin hurt/comfort || engineering major!reader inbound, it's also mentioned that the reader does commercial art, sorry 💔
Warnings: argument? They’re talking but it's a disagreement, breakup, SPOILERS for Marius’ story, kidnapping, Mild spoilers for Part 5, blood ment. and gunfire
》 M.list
crisis control
It started, as it ended, with an argument. Of course, the beginning was far less emotionally charged than the gentle, sinking wreck that came later, but isn't such the case with all things? When time and effort is put into something, a piece of yourself is put within. And, when it eventually shatters, the pieces are hard to pick up.
》》¤
Being a student at Stellis University, admission to the campus art gallery was free. Your evening was uncharacteristically empty, so you decided to stop by to see the things your peers submitted for public view. On your way in, you waved to Professor Richter, having taken his class the year prior.
You’d heard something about another Z piece being shown and kept an eye out for it, eventually spotting it and approaching. There was someone already there, so you stood next to them as you analyzed the piece.
“What do you think of the piece?”
The voice startled you and you faced the young man who’d been there before you. Taking another look at the piece, you spoke honestly.
“I don’t like it.”
“Oh? Why is that?” He seemed surprised.
“Now, I’m a mechanical engineering student, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but the composition and colors are just barely… off. They’ve got this beautiful spiral leading the eye to the center point, but there aren’t enough rigid structures for contrast. That, and this green in the bottom left quarter of the painting,” you gestured to it vaguely, “is slightly too warm for the tone. Then again, I struggle when color-picking for pieces, so it may be either a shared difficulty or a misperception on my part. Also, this stroke here, it’s far more textured than the surrounding area, setting a really strange feel for that specific area. How do you feel about it? It appears you like the artist, so I’m curious to hear your thoughts.”
As you spoke, his eyes flitted across the painting, brow set in thought. “First of all, you said you were an engineering major?”
You nodded. “I do my own art on the side, much more commercial than this.”
“I see. You wanted my thoughts and I let myself get distracted,” he smiled. “I do see the extra texturing on that stroke, it does make the area discordant, but I disagree with the rest. I believe the color works well with the piece and that the spiral composition isn’t erratic enough to warrant the contrast you spoke of.”
“Tastes are always different... It's fun trying to see it from your perspective. Wait, I don’t think I told you my name,” you laughed. “I’m Y/N.”
He took the hand you extended and shook it firmly. “Y/N, huh? Good to meet you! I'm an art major at a school-hosted art gallery, so I expect to see you at the upcoming STEMfest next Saturday. What's your booth number?”
“You just assume- not important. 41B, why do you ask?”
“Great! See you then, I’ve got to go. And bring some of your art!” The man was walking away by now, leaving you confused in front of Z’s painting.
“What? Wait!” You ran around the corner, only to see him opening the gallery doors. “You never gave me your name!”
》》¤
It’d been a long day at STEMfest, entertaining kids and networking with professionals, but the art student from the week before was the most exhausting thing about your day. You recognized him as soon as he passed your stand. All seven times, in fact. He kept side eyeing you as he talked to every booth worker in the B section except you. He’d approach your booth, you’d reach for your portfolio, and he’d smile as he walked straight past you to talk to someone else.
Only when everyone began packing up did he finally approach you.
"Hey, artsy engineer," he smiled, lifting a box from your hands and following you to where it needed to go.
“Are you always this much of an ass?”
He was visibly surprised at your candid words and looked almost worried, but then he pouted when he saw the disbelieving grin on your face.
"You scared me, I thought you were really mad!" He nudged you with his elbow, a playful scold.
"Hmm, I should be, shouldn't I?"
His answering 'nooo' was too adorable to resist.
He was easy to spend time with, the sun setting quickly while you two discussed art, history, engineering, and the general ways of the world. You'd been caught up in a conversation about whether or not planets feel like they're dancing when you saw how orange the sky had turned.
"Marius, it's getting late. I hate to leave you, but I ought to get home."
“Allow me to escort you to your car, my liege.” His exaggerated accent made you laugh.
“Ah, I walked,” you grinned.
“My car it is then!”
"Say, Marius, didn't you mention an upcoming day off? I'd like to go to a cafe with you sometime.
His whole body seemed to lift up, eyes sparkling in the evening sun. "I'd love that, can I pick you up?"
"Of course, if you let me pay."
“Nope!”
“Hmm, you can’t stop me.”
“I’m sure I can.”
“Is that a threat, Marius?”
“I would never.” His grin was blinding, so much so that it almost distracted you from the gleaming sports car he led you to.
“What major are you in again?” you asked, breathless. His car was beautiful, cutting edge and intelligently designed.
“Art and Art History, why?”
“Ah, so it’s daddy’s money,” you muttered cheekily before entering the vehicle.
You laughed upon hearing him sputter, relishing in the wide, flustered smile he flashed when quickly opening his car door to face you.
“I bought this myself, I’ll have you know.”
“Just teasing, Marius,” you lightly hit his arm before he started driving. “Wait. I must have blacked out the last couple minutes, you’re a near stranger and I’m in your car. Oh my god, that’s so irresponsible. You’re not going to kill me, right?”
“Ahaha! That’s for the coffee date.”
You froze for a moment, caught between a smile and a worried frown. However, before you could decide, he winked at you, prompting you to hit his arm again, harder this time.
“Marius!”
“Hey, dear engineer, if you’re going to refuse to let me pay for coffee, I get to tease you as much as I like. It’s only fair.”
You directed him towards your dorm hall, joking and smiling the whole way. Of course, his position at Pax was revealed when you asked his last name to put his number in your phone, having recognized him from online headlines. However, that didn’t deter you from happily confirming the pickup time for your second date.
》》¤
He noticed everything, even if he didn’t realize it sometimes. Your heart swelled every time Marius complimented something new you’d bought, and despite his teasing about you adding his photo to your phone case, you know he was more flustered by it than you were. Every time you refreshed your phone wallpaper and lockscreen, every time you wore a new fragrance, every time you acted out of the ordinary, he noticed, be it passively or consciously.
Walking around Stellis was common for you two, stopping at every ice cream shop to try their novelty flavors. However, no matter how many bizarre ones there were, he got your favorite flavor for himself. He claimed it was because he liked it too, but you didn’t fail to notice that if you didn’t like the flavor you chose, he’d “share” his cup by giving you the entire thing. Surprisingly enough, seeing your face pucker at a flavor that was just too “out there” wasn’t his favorite part about ice cream joint hopping with you. No, his favorite part was messing with you. Early on in the relationship, Marius would often swipe his thumb across your lip to wipe away ice cream. You were too flustered to realize you weren’t enough of a messy eater to warrant such an action. Eventually, you caught on, checking in a mirror after eating and watching him pout when you didn’t let him.
“Marius, if you’re going to touch my lips, you may as well go all the way,” you shrugged, walking ahead of him.
He didn’t waste a second catching up to you and searching your eyes for sincerity before pulling you in for a light, teasing kiss.
》》¤
Even over a year into your relationship with the young CEO, his eyes still lit up whenever you agreed to go somewhere with him and his heart soared whenever you invited him places. Yes, he had a hard time balancing his busy schedule, but that just meant any time spent with you was made all the more precious.
When you moved in together, he was hard-pressed to keep his smile down when you played music while showering or working on projects. Some days, when you thought he was out, you blasted songs that made him tear up from trying to reign in his laughter.
He teased you for days each time.
》》¤
Moving in with him allowed you even more insight into his true self, the bashful, playful Marius who hides his artistic prowess behind a famed pseudonym: Z. He regularly showed you his pieces as he worked on them, leaving room for teasing when he kept works from you. Secrecy from Marius was relatively rare, so whenever it had to do with art, you poked and prodded him to show you what he had hidden underneath the veil over his easel.
“Goodness, Marius, is this how you see me? I’m flattered! It’s nice to know that under all that suave, you’re still a total simp.”
“No! Noo, don’t look at that, babe! It was supposed to be a surprise,” he whined, voice becoming clearer as he quickly approached the studio. His face reddened upon seeing how genuinely enamoured your eyes were as they scanned the piece. “Ah, well, you’ve already seen it. I suppose all that can be done…” He walked behind you and sat at the stool. “... is to work on it with you.” An arm wrapped around your middle and Marius swiftly pulled you into his lap. His chest rumbled with laughter against your back at the yelp you let out and he gripped you close as he could. In an instant, his breath was on your ear. “Isn’t this more comfortable than me hiding things from you?”
“Nope!” You shuddered at the odd feeling against your ear and worked to calm the heat in your cheeks.
“Aww, come on! I’m warm and loving, among other things-”
“Oh my god, one more word and I’m moving out,” you laughed.
“Babe, you’d never do that to me,” he pouted, turning you in his lap and resting both hands on your waist.
“No, I wouldn’t, Marius.”
“Good,” he chirped, eyes quickly shifting back to his regular dangerous humor before he lifted you briefly, rose up, placed you on his stool, and made for the door.
“Marius Von Hagen!”
His home was filled with all kinds of laughter that day, from huffs of humored disbelief to mirthful peals.
》》¤
Though your time together was easy and delightful, things fell through after a little more than two years of dating. Your heart hurt watching him burn himself out day after day, coming back after a long shift at Pax to spend time with you and to paint in his studio. Time after time, especially after the forgery mess and the encouraging words of Sven Phillips, you pushed him to follow what he wanted. He was performing as Pax’s CEO to prove something to his father and lost brother. While you wished his reasons for it were healthier, your issue did not lie specifically with Pax. No, your concern was his willingness to give up art in exchange for recognition of his ability to keep Pax running. Was his self-esteem truly so low that he’d drop everything important to him when he could easily get recognition for something he was passionate about?
Unfortunately, you got your answer.
》》¤
“Marius, you know what I’m going to say.” The moon was high in the sky; you’d woken when Marius turned on the light to get to his studio.
“Then don’t say it. I don’t have time to do this again, I’m exhausted and haven’t gotten a chance to work on my piece all week.”
“That’s exactly it, though. You’re always too tired to do anything you enjoy! I know you’re busy at Pax and with your secret engagement, but you need to take some downtime or drop something. Your art fulfills you too much to let it fall by the wayside. I’ve respected your secrecy regarding where you go between Pax, SU, and here, so I don’t have any info on how rigorous it is. So, as far as I know, the one thing taking the largest toll, both emotionally and physically, is Pax. Something needs to give."
"No, I'm handling everything just fine. Stop bringing it up."
"You take ten minute naps instead of resting well! Your art screams for some kind of break, you need to make a choice, Marius!"
He was quiet for a good minute.
“Then… I choose you,” he whispered.
Silence fell.
“That doesn’t make any sense.” You knew what he meant, but your heart had fallen to your feet and it needed time to catch up with your mind.
“I choose… to drop you.” He was crying now, but you were too shocked to shed a tear.
“...Are you sure?” you asked.
He was surprised at your composed tone and quickly wiped his eyes, visibly holding sobs in. “If I’m honest, the thought has crossed my mind. I’ve done well managing my time between you, Pax, my art, and my side gig this past year, but things are heating up and I can’t… I can’t give you what you need.”
“What I need?” Your voice broke. “Marius, it’s what you need. I would never say this to anyone else, but I know you better than you know yourself at this point, and I’ve seen, felt the way everything falls away when you’re in your studio. Z is a beautiful thing you’ve created for yourself and it’s lucrative enough to keep plenty of your lifestyle afloat. Every time you tell me about Pax, your eyes age decades. I love you, Marius, and you love your art, but this constant striving to prove yourself is killing you.”
“Proving myself? I don’t have anything to prove,” he said lowly, brows furrowing above his red-rimmed eyes.
The quiet was deafening.
“Marius, I… I respect your decision.”
He seemed to snap out of his mild anger and started tearing up again, but you missed his hand reaching for yours as your head was down and your gaze was on the floor.
“I’ll pack some things, feel free to send the rest over when you catch a minute,” you said, voice breaking again. Turning toward the bedroom to gather your essentials, you let a tear slip and he let his hand drop.
He was sitting quietly in his studio when he saw you putting your suitcase into your car. It was only when he saw your head rest on your steering wheel and your shoulders shake that he let his own cries loose, moonlight glinting off the tears that fell and his sobs rang into the empty hallway.
》》¤
Marius felt he could breathe easier without the need to keep up a relationship, but he didn’t feel good about it at all. He knew where you were coming from, and you were right. However, despite his self-awareness, he couldn’t let go of Pax. He was tired and sad almost constantly and any reminders of you hurt his heart.
Z's works were considerably more gloomy now.
Marius heaved a sigh upon exiting his car, entering the very cafe he’d taken you to two years prior. Ordering his drink went slower than usual since he was caught up in his own thoughts, eyeing your regular order listed on the menu with tears burning to escape. In the few months he’d been apart from you, he hadn’t made any effort to reach out, unsure how you’d respond to a continued friendship after he’d selfishly picked Pax over you. Hell, he’d considered dropping art altogether if it meant he could have you back in his life, but he knew it was too late and you’d never accept that course of action anyways.
He’d only just sat back in his car when he received a call from Vincent.
“Sir, someone’s hacked into Big Data. They’ve uploaded a video-”
A call from Luke interrupted Vincent, and the rest of the assistant’s words went unheard over the ringtone.
“Hold on Vincent, I’ve got to take this.”
The case the NXX was working on at the time was highly sensitive as they were trying to find alternate ways to indict Heirson until more information pertaining to Opaline village was found.
“Hey there Raven, what seems to be the proble-”
“Marius.” That was odd, Luke almost always referred to him as King when discussing NXX matters. Marius straightened in his seat. “Drop everything, you need to come to the NXX.”
“Has it got to do with the Big Data hack? Something about a video?”
“Yeah, but it’s far more serious-”
Marius sighed, not wanting to put up with another Big Data breach, not when he was thinking about you. “I’ll be right there,” he interrupted, hanging up without paying heed to Luke’s cries for him to wait and listen.
》》¤
Marius regretted not letting Luke finish. Maybe, if he had waited, he wouldn’t have been so stunned seeing you struggle against the bonds tying you to a chair in that godforsaken video. The other members were discussing who at Heirson could have captured you and who was confident enough to do such a thing, but Marius was glued to the screen. Every time he looped it, he noticed something else. The cut on your brow. The bruise on your lip. The blood staining the edges of the ropes keeping your wrists in place. The fear in your eyes. In all the time he’d spent with you, he’d never seen you afraid. But now? Seeing how terrified you were? He was scared.
Marius hit the play button to loop it again, causing Artem to close his eyes and grit his teeth. He couldn’t listen to the person onscreen struggle any longer while the voice behind the camera made their demands, despite not knowing the hostage. Rosa covered her ears, closed her eyes, and allowed Luke to pull her into his side, the detective's eyes set in anger at the captor and pity for Marius. To everyone’s surprise, it was Vyn that snapped.
“Marius Von Hagen! Do not play that video again.” Marius paused the video but did not turn around. “I am aware of your feelings towards them,” Vyn gestured to the screen, “but you fail to consider the others. Rosa is terrified, Libra and Raven are both upset, but none come close to how I am feeling. It was enough to watch my former student struggle in terror once, but to hear it over and over is a special kind of torture. Remember, Marius,” the young man flinched at another use of his name, but remained facing the screen. Vyn placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “You’re not the only one who cares for Y/N.”
At last, Vyn pulled lightly on Marius’ shaking shoulder so the young man would face him. Hearing your name after so long, especially with the situation at hand, broke him. Marius let his tears flow freely, keeping his sobs to hiccups and whimpers in Vyn's ear as the psychologist pulled the younger man into his arms.
The others were surprised, having never seen Marius so vulnerable.
The young heir did not show up for work that day.
》》¤
The team toiled day and night for around a week trying to find you. Marius, being less capable with computers, felt useless. He resorted to pulling strings from above, reaching through connections to identify the captor, the location, anything. Finally, they narrowed down the possible locations to just two dock warehouses. Luke needed to be onsite to figure out which location you were at, so the team split in half. Marius didn't listen to the decisions on who would go where, he simply started preparing his gear.
"King? You don't even know where you're going," Rosa said, concerned.
"I'm going south. I don't care who comes with me, but I know they're at the southern dock."
"Intuition, huh?"
"Something like that," he smiled. Rosa noticed his eyes were afraid, but opted not to comment on it.
Vyn took Rosa up north, just in case, but Luke trusted Marius' gut and went with him to confirm. Artem, being the sharpshooter of the group, joined the party heading south to provide extra cover.
Artem entered the driver's seat of one of the NXX's unregistered vehicles (provided, of course, by Marius), not trusting Marius' judgement enough to let him drive. Streets passed quickly, the commercial buildings shifting to the lesser-known outer edge of the city.
The more Marius let his mind run free while he sat in the backseat, the more his grip tightened on the firearm in his lap.
》》¤
Upon arrival, Luke called Vyn to let him know your captor was indeed holed up at the southern location, in case he and Rosa could drive down and provide support. The detective put away his signal tracker and drew his gun, joining Artem and Marius in quietly traversing the yard. The tracker wasn't made for pinpointing an exact location, but it was precise enough for them to know you weren't being held in the warehouse, leaving the storage yard out back.
Artem and Luke were quietly conversing on comms, updating one another on any sectors cleared or noises heard. Marius was uncharacteristically quiet, only chiming in when he cleared his own sections.
The process was slow, but it picked up speed all at once. Gunshots went off in Luke's section, prompting Marius to rush over. Upon arrival, the young CEO hesitated. He looked between your captor and the open container behind the man. Seeing the man who captured you, injured you… Marius saw red. However, hearing a muffled noise from within the storage container caused him to stay back, momentarily caught in the middle.
Artem came up on him from behind and noticed his dilemma.
"King! Luke has him engaged, get inside and help the hostage." The senior attorney's voice was authoritative, accompanied with a shove to the shoulder to snap Marius out of his stupor before Artem left to support Luke against his surprisingly competent adversary.
Marius rushed into the container, heart breaking upon seeing you scared of the shadow that appeared before you. You'd assumed you were being rescued due to the commotion outside, but gunfire isn't exactly the most comforting sound. Marius' voice, on the other hand, was the peace you needed to think clearly.
"Y/N, Y/N, babe, I'm so sorry this happened, I never thought being involved with you would make you a target," he rambled until he couldn't breathe, apologizing for every circumstance that led up to this and for every slight wince you made as he undid your bonds.
You hadn't even had the chance to get a word in, much less move, before he scooped you into his arms and sank to his knees, holding you against him like a lifeline.
"Ah, Marius, not there-" his arm was pressing on what you assumed was a broken rib, but he quickly adjusted and silently brought your face into his shoulder with his other arm. His own head mirrored yours, his whole body almost curling around you protectively.
He'd been taking shaky breaths the entire time, but now he was full-on sobbing into your neck. His arms kept adjusting to cling to you ever tighter as his tears wet your skin.
Luke and Artem had taken the man into custody by now and rushed in to check on Marius.
For a moment, they thought you might have been dead, what with how Marius was crying, but a defensive look from you quickly fixed that. In turn, your expression softened, gathering that they must have come with him to rescue you.
Artem and Luke had taken to gathering the hostile's equipment as evidence while they waited for Marius to have his moment. Speaking of, Marius had calmed over time and loosened his grip, but his breaths still shuddered.
"Marius," you said at last.
His head snapped up to look at you, eyes misty from hearing you say his name again after so long.
"Hey engi-dear."
You laughed with him, heart equal parts light and heavy at the silly nickname he'd bestowed upon you.
"Thank you."
"What for? If I hadn't let myself get involved with you-"
You placed a finger over his lips. "I'd like to think the issue is that I wasn't with you, under your watchful gaze."
His watery smile lifted your spirits. Although you were still terrified from the experience, your love for the man before you was all you could think about.
"I missed you," he whispered. "And seeing you on that screen…"
"Hey, I know. I'm pretty shaken up myself," you laughed lightly. "But," you cupped his tear-stained cheeks, "you still came. And you did save me, I can't see a better outcome than that."
"I never thought I'd say this, but now is not the time for banter."
"Thought I'd give it a shot, didn't know a few months were enough time to make a responsible man out of you."
His chest rumbled against yours in laughter as he lifted you from the ground, one arm supporting your legs around his waist and the other across your back, hand splayed to hold you upright.
He carried you to the entrance of the storage lot where two cars idled. The walk was quiet, both people needing a mental reprieve, until Marius broke the silence.
"Hm, I know a wonderful psychologist to talk to about all this. Who knows, maybe he'll be able to cure your ill-timed humor."
"Mister Richter!" you exclaimed, seeing the professor himself over your shoulder.
His stern face lifted into one of relief, happy to see his former student alive and relatively well.
"Dearest Y/N, I'm so happy you're alright—" his gaze darkened as his eyes flicked over you, taking in your injuries. "It appears I spoke too soon. Let's get you a private physician, you don't need the hustle and bustle of a general care hospital after that."
Marius seemed to get impatient, hefting you up again with a little huff and pleading eyes.
Vyn smiled at the young man's irritation. "We'll discuss how regularly you'll meet with me to process the incident come next Wednesday," he smiled, walking off to his shared car where a young woman stood. She was unfamiliar to you, but waved with her own relieved smile nonetheless.
A young man with brown hair and a windbreaker entered the car with Vyn and the woman, presumably for a bit more privacy with Marius. Your boyfriend placed you into the backseat with the utmost care before rounding the vehicle and entering on the other side while Artem started the car and prepared to drive you to a trusted doctor, Apothecary, an NXX sideliner.
You were thankful Artem was driving, in part because you'd met him briefly before, but mostly because you were able to spend the drive close to Marius. The entire ride was quiet, save for the sound of gentle kisses being pressed to the top of your head every so often.
》》¤
Healing was far from enjoyable, what with the lack of activity and regular pain. However, Marius' regular visits made it all the more bearable. He came as often as he could, even though he was using silence to avoid the elephant in the room.
One day, well into his visit, you called his name. He turned to you, calling attention to his eyes. They'd been stormy since the rescue and you were confident you could guess why. Relationship stuff could wait, though.
“I assume this is your ‘secret engagement’?”
He winced a bit, looked to the floor, and lifted his hand to soothingly rub at his own neck. “Yeah, yeah it is. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, but I didn’t want to stress you out. It’s not the safest hobby, is it?”
“Of course it isn’t! But I can tell what you’re thinking, and my answer is no. I’d never have asked you to let the NXX go, what you’re doing is too important. Not only that, but being at Pax is a huge help and I realize why you were so adamant on keeping your position as CEO. Marius,” you grabbed his hand that laid on your bed, causing his gaze to flick over every movement of your fingers on his hand.. “I never should have pushed so hard. Regardless of your motivation, as your peer, as your... lover, I never should have presumed to know better than you. NXX aside, your reasons for sticking with Pax are valid, I just don’t want to see the other side of you crumble beneath the weight of a demanding company.”
“...I agree that the push to rethink my position could have been gentler, but you were ultimately right. You weren’t presuming, you did know better. I’ve tried and failed to find a better balance since I realized that, but… something’s missing. You’re missing.” His eyes met yours once more, purple hues gentle amongst his resolute expression. “Y/N, you brought something to my life that no amount of inspiration or... validation could ever match.” His hand moved from beneath your fingers to hold your hand in his, grip firm, but still loose enough to allow you to escape. “If you’ll allow it, I’d like to have you back in my life, in whatever way you’re willing.” He squeezed your hand, his eyes pleading.
You withdrew your hand from his, not missing his face falling. Quickly, before he could make any more assumptions, you lifted his warm hand to your cheek, turning to press a kiss to the heel of his palm. His eyes misted as you spoke, tenderly thumbing your cheek.
“Marius Von Hagen,” you whispered, “I’d be honored to come back into your life and resume my place as your lover. If you’ll allow it, of course.”
He didn’t miss the teasing lilt behind your words. “Always making fun of me, eh, engineer?”
You didn’t have a chance to respond as the hand on your cheek pulled you in and Marius kissed you lightly. It was more breath than kiss, both parties feeling overwhelmed at the familiar feeling. However, that didn’t stop him from diving back in, pressing a flurry of kisses in varying lengths to your smiling lips. His lips slid over yours, pulling them in and releasing them seamlessly. His light, happy laughs echoed into the air between and around you both, mixing with the sounds of your own joy. He kissed you slowly, softly, deeply, absorbing all he’d been missing for the past months. Whatever Pax threw at him, whatever dangers arose, whatever stifled his creativity, he felt he could conquer it all with you by his side to pull him through.
Some time later, Marius was laying next to you, curled into your side. The quiet was comfortable, until you decided to break it.
"You really should have told me about the NXX."
His face fell again, but you were right. "I know, there wasn't any real reason for keeping it from you-"
"So irresponsible, keeping things from your partner. You ought to be a better boyfriend," you chided, barely holding back your smile.
"Y/N! You had me worried! Again with the ill- timed humor, it's too soon to tease me!" His adorable pout was the only thing on your mind as you kissed him for the umpteenth time that night, relishing in his presence.
Yes, he had a lot to figure out. But so did you, and it certainly felt better to work out the walks of life with someone you truly love by your side.
summary: marius von hagen loves hard, much harder than he should, and that alone comes with some serious repercussions — because he loves his best friend, who happens to be in love with someone else.
pairing: marius von hagen x f! reader (reader is not rosa)
genre(s): university au, angst, one-sided pining, unrequited love
note(s): reader and marius are childhood friends (they're the same age), they attend stellis university but have different majors (their only common class is vyn's psychology class, and hey, would you look at that, vyn's their tutor!), slight cn server spoilers
wc: 1362
view m.list! (&& i didn't plan for this to be released on vday, but here we are??? happy vday everyone, please don't cry :") )
"don't fall for your best friend." that is a quote that many people make upon giving advice to their friends who want to start a romantic relationship. reason being, if it does not end well, both parties will just end up getting hurt and start drifting away from each other until they become no more than strangers.
and marius, being one to ignore such little details, does just that: he falls for his best friend.
now, he did not know when it started. was it when she smiled at him that one time after he gifted her his first-ever watercolour painting when they were little? or was it when she pouted and got mad at him for teasing her a wee bit too much when they were in high school, before he went overseas? marius does not know, he does not bother to know — all he knows is that he fell for his best friend hard, and once that knowledge had sunk into him, he was at a loss at what to do.
so the best thing he could think of was to act as per normal: he was going to continue to be the ever-loving snarky best friend, the one who was quick to tease and make flirtatious comments. whether or not she would take up his hints... he hoped that someday, she would actually read into his blatant signals of "i love you, will you be my girlfriend?" instead of brushing them off with a laugh and saying, "i love you too, marius, but so does mr. von hagen!".
however, what he did not take into account that being someone's best friend and acting out that role so perfectly might have some serious consequences. say, your best friend has feelings for someone else.
and that was exactly what happened. it was a warm afternoon and they were sitting side-by-side at the library, going through vyn's psychology materials together, when she said, "marius, i have something to tell you."
"oh, do you?" he looked up at her and smirked, propping his hand up to rest his chin on it lazily.
"say... i have someone that i like," she said (she had always been a straightforward person, he remembered), then looked at him in the eye, "will you help me?"
he bit his bottom lip. she was looking at him with such earnesty that made him feel bad about even liking her and wonder if that there was such a thing as resetting his own feelings. to him, he did not matter, and whom he had always placed before his own needs and wants was the girl sitting opposite him. so he suppressed all the ugly emotions that were on the brink of spilling out and smiled, "sure, who's the one?"
and so it began, marius playing the role of matchmaker (instead of the role of romeo, as he would have very much preferred and liked). he could not care to remember the guy's name exactly (leon or reon, he vaguely remembered, but no one sweats the details), and somehow, by some stroke of divine bad luck, successfully managed to get them both together. she started to hang around her new beau a lot more, and the teasing between her and marius was dialed down by request of her boyfriend (which marius completely understood but hated at the same time).
however, what came along with romantic relationships are the fights and drama. instead of complaining how tough her assignments were, she began to rant to marius about the latest dispute between her and her boyfriend. many a time, marius had to help her look at things objectively (a trait he had to learn as the acting ceo of pax) even if he didn't want to, and helped the couple patch things up.
"thank you for helping us, marius!" she always told him after such episodes, and all he could do was smile and nod and say, "no problem, it's only what i should do."
this one day, she and marius were studying together at the von hagen estate just before his class with vyn. her phone buzzed, and she picked it up before gasping and shoving all of her materials into her bag.
"what's wrong?" he asked, watching as she packed her things up with such speed.
"i'm almost late for my date," she said, swinging her bag across her body and tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, "i gotta go now, marius. good luck on your class with vyn!"
"yeah. have fun on your date," he said with a grin, and she smiled back before walking out of the door.
as the door shut behind her, he let out a long sigh and went back to staring blankly at his notes. truthfully, he wanted to tell her to stay and ditch the guy. she and her boyfriend have had a long history of arguments and if often left her more hurt than ever. in conclusion, he found this guy very much unsuited for her, and wondered when she would just take off those rose-tinted shades that she had been wearing for so long.
the door swung open and marius turned to it expectantly, putting on a smile, "did you forget something—" however, his smile dropped when he realised that it was not his best friend who walked in, but his tutor. a frown found its way onto his face, then he turned around as vyn walked right up to the table.
"i apologise for the disappointment, little von hagen," vyn said, placing his stack of notes down on the table.
there was a pause as marius' frown deepens, completely proving vyn's point. it was not as if vyn was oblivious: he knew that the young heir held feelings for the other young female, his childhood friend. the psychologist had kept mum about it the entire time and had watched from the sidelines, even after she had tied the knot with someone else, as well as the subsequent episodes that followed, which included marius' more-than-obvious moping during his class.
"marius," the silver-haired male said, "do you like her?"
marius' gaze softened as a small smile made its way onto his face, "of course i do." his voice got softer as he added, "for as long as i can remember."
"have you ever considered professing your feelings honestly?" vyn asked.
"no," the young heir's answer was almost immediate, as if it was an automatic response, "i can't destroy her happiness like that. i'm her best friend, so i should know better."
vyn stared at his student in silence for a fair bit of time, taking in the change of his expression upon answering the second question. his eyes now held some sort of pain to them, and his smile had a sad tinge to it. this was a side that the psychiatrist was not used to seeing: the usual marius was always wearing a big, capitalist smile on his face and walked with such confidence that commanded attention towards him. now, he was in such a morose state that vyn did not initially believe that the young man could even possess.
"best friends typically share their woes with one another, do they not?" vyn added gently.
marius could have laughed, no, scoffed at his tutor's words. such woes usually involved trivial matters such as homework help, ranting about some jerk who pissed them off, and the like, not confessing that they had been in love with their friend for a long time.
"yes," marius said firmly, "but i won't."
because, marius knew all along, best friends do not fall for one another as complications would only arise if their feelings were not mutual or they ended up breaking up. a happy, lifelong friendship had the potential of turning sour when a stray element of romance was accidentally added in.
however, for all that he knew, marius von hagen loves hard, much harder than he should, and that alone comes with some serious repercussions — because he loves his best friend, who happens to be in love with someone else.
and for that, he knows the pain of loving one-sidedly.
Marius Von Hagen knew pressure very well. In fact, he was acquainted with pressure since he was born. Pressure had been holding his hand since he learned how to walk, and it’s always stuck by his side.
Pressure weighed on his back when he became prince. Pressure weighed on his back when he sat with the neighboring royal children. Pressure weighed on his back when his brother ran away. Pressure weighed on his back when he became the crown prince. Pressure weighed on his back when his parents both grew old and ill.
Pressure weighed on his back when he became king.
And here he sat on the throne. It felt uncomfortable, like he didn’t belong there. The elbow rests of the golden chair were cold, unwelcoming. The seat itself was big. He felt like a small child, sitting there.
It reminded him that he was only king in name. At least, that was what people kept saying. He almost believed them. He really should. After all, how could he rule a kingdom he was never meant to rule?
Was this why his brother left? Were the responsibilities too much? Was this why he ran away, leaving all the heavy burdens behind for his pitiful younger brother?
Marius slumped in his seat defeatedly. It wasn’t like he could ask his parents for help when they were both ill in their beds.
But now that there was a change in power, advisors, military commanders, and neighboring kingdoms were watching for a chance to swoop in and eat up Marius. They were waiting for him to slip and fall, using it to their advantage. They would try and try to manipulate Marius, the ignorant younger prince who only knew how to draw.
He heard the whispers in the long halls. He knew of the names they conjured up for him. He could feel the contempt through their fake smiles.
“Your Royal Majesty,” one of the advisors coughed. Marius snapped out of his daze and looked at him. The advisor furrowed his eyebrow and stated, “As the king of this nation, it would be wise not to mindlessly daydream in the middle of a meeting.”
Marius could hear another counselor scoff under his breath, “King? He’s no king. Just a foolish child wearing a crown.”
He raised eyes at the two men calmly.
“Tell me, old man, who is my father?”
The counselor stared back at him with caution as he answered, “His Royal Majesty King Austin von Hagen.”
Marius smirked when he heard his voice quiver. “Alright, and what is my brother’s title?”
Whispers rush between the men along the long table. It was an unspoken rule not to speak of the original crown prince. They could feel the tension suffocate them.
“H-His Royal Highness… Prince G-Giann von Hagen.”
“Good!” Marius smiled, praising the old man, who sat there, sweating buckets of water. “Now,” he stared straight into his eyes, “what is my title?”
“Y-Your Royal Majesty… King Marius von Hagen II.”
“Ah, ah, ah,” Marius waved his finger at the counselor. “That’s not what you said a few seconds ago. Tell me, oh, wise counselor.” He walked behind the old man, towering above him. He placed his hands on his shoulders and asked, “What did you call me?”
The silence was loud. Everyone could only look down, ignoring the counselor. Marius could feel the man shake beneath his touch.
He knew this wasn’t the life he was meant for. He knew that he was better off painting somewhere far away from the throne. Marius knew he was an incompetent king.
But a king nonetheless.
When the man said nothing, Marius whispered, just loud enough for everyone to hear, “That’s treason, you know? What should we do with you, hmm? We could,” he traced his finger on the shaking counselor’s neck, “slit your throat. Hang you. Maybe both. Or wait,” he snaked his arm around the man’s shoulder and harshly grabbed the man’s cheeks with one hand.
“We could cut that tongue of yours out.”
As if that triggered something in him, the man began to sputter out words, begging for mercy. He’d be on his knees if he could, but he didn’t dare shove Marius away. The young king cringed when he felt the man’s snot and tears drip down on his hand. Hastily, he pulled away and called for the guards.
As they forced the counselor away, he screamed and cried, but they all fell on deaf ears. Marius turned to the others who sat there with pale faces.
“I think it’d be best to end the meeting here today. Good day, everyone.” He turned to leave, and everyone let out a sigh of relief, until he turned around. They all flinched and attempted to compose themselves. “Ah, by the way,” he eyed each one of them carefully. “I wasn’t joking when I said that was treason. If I hear a single one of you utter a word about my father, brother, or me, I will cut your tongues out, and let it be known that your families won’t be spared.”
He swiftly exited the room and headed to his parents room.
Pressure trailed behind him, so he walked faster. It was a hopeless attempt, as it caught up to him in no time. He paused his movement and clutched his chest, taking in heavy breaths. The shame and embarrassment clouds his vision, while fear blocked his hearing. He was simply alone, facing his fellow friend pressure once more.
He could tell it was mocking him. He could hear its laughs as it pointed at him, calling his crown unbefitting of him, a faux king. He could feel the judgement of its eyes as it stared at him, his glimmering jewels and badges and oversized cape.
Even with all the riches and gold covering him, he felt so naked.
When he felt its hand on its shoulder, he turned and yelled at it, hoping the nightmare would end.
“Get away from me!”
There he was, Vyn, his Royal Tutor, hand in the air as it was shoved away by Marius, and wearing a surprised expression on his face.
He quickly erased whatever trace of shock he had on his face and inquired the boy, “Should we skip todays lessons, Your Royal Majesty?”
Marius blinked back at him, not comprehending what he had just said.
What just happened? Did he shove Vyn?
Vyn saw his visible panic and gently placed his hand on his shoulder. The poor boy looked at him with fear.
“Your Royal Majesty-“
“Don’t call me that,” he whispered with closed eyes. “That’s not me. I’m not…”
“Oh, but you are,” Vyn said. “Let’s talk somewhere more private, shall we?”
No words came out of Marius, so the Tutor pulled the depressed king along with him into a private guest bedroom. He softly pushed Marius to sit on the bed, while he himself sat on the chair, watching the boy.
“How do you feel?”
Marius stared at the ground emptily. “Can I answer you honestly, Vyn?”
“Of course. You can tell me anything… Marius,” he added that at the end carefully. The boy let out a relieved sigh once he heard Vyn drop the honorifics.
“You really don’t have to call me all those things in public either, Vyn.”
He smiled, “That would be rude and almost treasonous. Didn’t I teach you that?”
“Argh,” Marius bent over, covering his face. “Don’t even mention the word treason near me again.”
“Why? What’s wrong with that?”
Marius looked up, and Vyn chuckled at his distressed expression. “I may have gotten mad at someone for talking shit about me, so I sent him to the chambers and threatened to cut his tongue off…”
Vyn raised an eyebrow, “Was it someone from the Council?”
“Yeah, it was,” Marius sighed.
“Well, it was very irrational to say, at the least, but at least you took the initiative to use your power. That’s the first step of being a ruler.”
“But I don’t want to be a ruler, Vyn. You know that. This,” he got up and spread his arms out, pointing to himself, “none of this stuff feels right. Being King doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel right. Everything is just so…” He trailed off, rubbing his eyes hard to stop the tears.
Vyn sat there patiently. He watched as the boy just a bit younger than him fall apart. He knew it would happen one day. No, in fact, he hoped it would happen. Perhaps this was Marius’s way to free himself from this mess of a kingdom he was born it.
The Tutor was smart. He was intelligent enough to be a military strategist, maybe even be King, but he was unlucky. He was born with commoner blood, yet maybe he was grateful to have been a mere peasant, a mere servant to serve a spoiled prince because he realized being born with royal blood didn’t mean you were lucky; you were just crushed even more by the endless expectations of thousands of people who entrust their lives to you.
He knew what Marius was going to
Everything was just so suffocating.
———————————
It took a while for Marius to stop crying. Vyn chuckled to himself thinking about it. How old was he? Twenty-one, right? Twenty-one and still weeping like he was five.
“Marius.” The boy who was sitting down on the bed, hugging a soft white pillow, looked up with puffy eyes. They decided it was best to stay until his eyes were a bit better in case word spreads that the King is a big baby. “If the pressure makes you too anxious, how about visiting the Themis Temple?”
“Temple? But I’m not religious,” Marius sniffed.
“I know that, but it might calm you a bit. Visiting the temple may bring peace and tranquil for your mind. Plus, I heard the priests and priestesses there are very kind and welcoming to all, despite social and economical differences.”
The boy raised his eyebrow when he heard the words “welcoming to all, despite social and economical differences.”
Was there really such a place that would overlook such things?
“Plus, I hear that they have this intriguing… we’ll call it ‘tradition.’”
“What do you mean by that?” Marius questioned.
“Well, you see, they believe that all the Head Priestesses that are born inherit Themis’s blood. I hear the Head Priestess as of now has a daughter who is coming of age to become the next Head Priestess, so they’re having this event, almost like a ritual to perform on the girl.”
Marius furrowed his eyebrows. “Ritual?”
Vyn nodded, “Yes, a ritual. I’ve only heard rumors, since the last one was forty years ago, but, apparently, the girl gets hot water poured all over her. It’s suppose to symbolize inheriting the burdens of the last Head Priestess and to make her feel the injustice of this world weigh down on her.”
Marius frowned. That sounded more like torture. He felt pity for the girl. She seemed similar to Marius, born with responsibility and pressure, with a role she never asked for.
“How about you go with me right now? We can use our study time to see whether or not you’ll like it. Plus, I believe it’s an opportunity of a lifetime.”
“But won’t people recognize me?” He inquired.
“The question you should be asking is not that, but if you ‘want’ people to recognize you.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t want people to know,” he grumbled.
“Then we shall dress as normal aristocrats. Come now, I have plenty of clothes that will suit you. You’ll have to make due with a commoner’s clothes, Your-“
“Don’t even think about addressing me like that,” he sneers. “And I don’t mind about wearing commoner stuff. I don’t care for this social hierarchy at all.”
Vyn whistles, “How cute, coming from a person of privilege.”
“You know that’s not what I mean!”
“Right, right, of course. I’ll just have to trust your word then. Now, shall we get dressed?”
The two exit the guest bedroom and head to Vyn’s, which was a couple doors down the hall. They walked side by side. Though the servants and maids whispered among themselves, Marius was occupied with his thoughts.
He couldn’t get his mind off of the girl. Perhaps it was infatuation, or genuine curiosity. He created an illusion in his mind.
In his fantasies, he would speak with the girl. He would ask if she felt proud to be part of this bloodline of Goddess’s, or if she felt as if such a position did not suit someone like her. In his mind, she would hesitantly tell him her true thoughts, that she didn’t want to burn under the wrath of the burning water. He would say he felt the same, that he had always been crushed by the constant expectations of the people. He would hold her hand and promise that he would save her, that the two of them could run away together, and she would agree. And together they would-
“The advisors weren’t wrong about you and your constant daydreaming,” Vyn chuckled as he flicked his forehead. Marius flinched, groaning out loud as he slapped his hand above his eyes. The Tutor turned the knob and held the door open. “Hurry now; we wouldn’t want to miss the performance, would we?”
Marius huffed and stepped in, shoving the Tutor along his way. Inside, Artem sat at Vyn’s desk, reading a few documents. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned, and his face wore a tired expression with the visible frown and disheveled hair.
It would be best not to piss off the Royal Justice.
“Artem,” Vyn called out. The grumpy man turned away from his papers and nodded at Vyn. When he noticed Marius, he heaved himself up to properly greet his king, but Marius quickly stopped him.
“Hey, sit down. I don’t need to hear any more honorifics than I should, and I would really hate hearing them from you.”
Artem sighed as he sat back down, pinching his nose bridge. “Sorry, I’m just completely exhausted right now. Work has been so swamped lately.”
Marius softened his eyes. “Is there anyway I can help you?”
The Royal Justice shook his head, “No. If you assisted me, word would spread that I am incompetent. There’s already enough rumors spreading around the castle.”
He had already known how brutally honest Artem was. Still, he could never get used to it. It ticked him off how Artem brushed him off like that; it felt insulting.
Before Marius could say any retort, Vyn placed a hand on his shoulder. “Artem, how about we all take a break?”
