Green Ethics
Bruce Banner x reader part 2
Word count: 2,384
Part 1
Sorry for the long wait! I’ve been really ill, not been able to do anything but cough and sleep. Plus two of my friends moved out and my dad who walked out on us just walked back in , it’s been complete chaos. Writing this was soothing and I’ll definitely be writing for Bruce again, he’s my baby. Enjoy! 🫶🏻
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“Here,” Bruce passed you water from your nightstand. “Drink this while I work on these.” You raised an eyebrow until he carefully held your free hand nearer to his face. Each of your fingers were adorned with rings, some gifts, some precious and some cheap from retailers. Bruce treated them all with care, sliding each ring off and placing them neatly on your nightstand. His hands were softer than you’d expected them to be. You found yourself smiling tiredly at the comfort his touch brought you. As Bruce worked on your rings his eyes wandered over your bed to a scraggly teddy.
“Who’s this?”
Half asleep you turned your head. “Oh, that’s Tia.” You may have been well past the age of teddies but you struggled to sleep without her, you’d had her since birth. Bruce smiled at your innocence, distracted for a moment before continuing what he’d started.
Once you were free of jewellery and had taken several sips of water, Bruce brought you the hoodie you requested. To his horror you attempted to pull off your dress then and there. Jesus Christ he thought, panicking that you could somehow hear his heart rate. You couldn’t and nothing was further from your mind as you got undressed whilst Bruce faced the wall pained. Most of Stark Tower had seen you half naked at some point whether it be strip poker, out of hand parties or your habit of forgetting towels in the shower.
You zipped up the hoodie, feeling even sleepier without the restrictive fabric of the dress tugging at your skin. Bruce slowly turned his head and relaxed his shoulders a little when he saw you were dressed. Dressed and in green. “It suits you.” He smiled after a moment of staring.
With half lidded eyes you took in the sight of Bruce stood over your bed, his warm brown eyes and greying curls. “You’re so,” you yawned before you could finish, “Pretty…” Bruce chuckled at the compliment before his eyes darted to his watch, it was late. She’s had water, she’s in bed, she’s safe just go he assured himself.
Sensing he might leave, you patted the space in the bed beside you. If there was any man you wanted sleeping beside you it was Bruce, even if there was the chance he’d Hulk smash the bed and you with it. Bruce’s eyes fluttered over the sight of your hand and the comfortable looking bed you were so happy to invite him to.
“Goodnight Y/n.”
He just couldn’t risk it.
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You slept till 2pm the next day, thankfully without too nasty a hangover. The same couldn’t be said for Clint, who you eyed drowsily popping painkillers like m&ms. He’s onto something, you thought eyeing the medicine cabinet and thinking of doctors. Doctors…Bruce…
“Bruce been down?”
Clint exhaled but before he could answer your favourite whirlwind arrived. “You made quite the fool of yourself last night I heard honey.” You ran your hands through your unruly morning hair, narrowing your eyes at Tony’s comment. “That wasn’t an answer.”
“Snappy today are we?” Tony tapped a pen against his temple, half watching the coffee maker as he spoke. “He’s in his lab and hasn’t come out all day. You know you should really be nicer to people when you want intel from them.” But you were out the door before you heard his words of advice, fixing your hair as you walked.
Bruce’s lab was intimidating on a good day. Not only was it loaded with cumbersome machinery and equipment you couldn’t pay to replace if you lived a hundred lifetimes but it was vast and difficult to navigate without a hangover. You rarely visited, knowing if Bruce was working the last thing he needed was interruptions.
Knock knock
So the scientist was surprised to find you on his doorstep…
“Y/N?”
You tapped on the glass, feeling significantly less confident than the night before. “Can I come in?” Bruce nodded, his confusion obvious. He subtly eyed your attire, his deep brown eyes rendering you weak as you considered your next words. “I can go if you’re busy…” your voice trailed off as you took in the amount of work on his desk.
“What happened to the confidence from last night?” Bruce asked, looking quite proud of himself for saying so. You wondered if an apology was needed, in fact you wondered what you’d said at all. Only bits had come back to you, something about age gaps and alcohol tolerance you weren’t sure.
“Well,” you slowly circled Bruce. “That’s just it, I don’t know because I can’t remember - not most of it anyway.” Bruce’s smile faded and his eyes fell to his desk. You watched as his hand tensed at his side before slipping into his pocket. “That’s probably for the best.” His voice was tight, restrained.
“Isn’t that more my decision?”
Bruce refused to answer you in fact he acted as if you weren’t there, as if you were miles from his lab and not standing behind him. He refused to acknowledge the scent of your perfume and shampoo or the angered breathing you were struggling to hide. A thought occurred to you as you watched the back of your friend, the closest person to you in the tower:
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No.”
Bruce turned to face you, unable to stand the hurt in your voice. The opposite was the truth and as a result the damning obstacle. His eyes struggled to remain on yours as he spoke. “You admitted something to me that we can nev-“ you waited a moment for him to continue. Bruce’s lips pursed before he allowed himself a moment to breathe, a moment to think how best to tell you the harsh truth. He had to choose between his selfish desires or your safety. “We can never act on this.”
And he’d choose you every time…
“Bruce I,” you moved closer, until his face was mere inches from yours but with great restraint he backed away. “This,” he gestured to the two of you. “Can’t happen Y/n, no matter how much I’d want it to work it couldn’t.” Shame spread through your gut like a conscious disease. All this time you’d been worrying about how to live out your fantasies and almost entirely disregarded Bruce’s reality. Despite that stinging truth his words “No matter how much I’d want it to work.” haunted you already.
“Am I too much for you?” Bruce’s jaw clenched as you moved closer to him. “Or for him?” He wanted to fall to his knees at your question, the insecurity on your face your pleading eyes. How could he form the words? You deserved so much you-
“Deserv-you deserve…so much more.” Bruce let out a shaky breath, struggling to look at your expression. If he had he would have sensed your anger and been less shocked by your sudden outburst. “Bruce are you insane? You’re the kindest man I’ve ever met, do you know how rare it is to meet someone who likes me more than my tits? Who listens to my ideas, takes care of me and doesn’t see me as a chore or - or worse some kind of project?” Your voice raised with every word. Bruce was speechless as you continued.
“You have seven PhDs and you’re an AVENGER who saves the world every other Tuesday but you have the audacity to tell me you’re the one who’s punching here?”
If anyone had been present next door they would have caught every word of your overdue rant. A minute later Bruce hadn’t said a word so you waited, growing less hopeful as you watched him retreat into his thoughts. If he was expecting you to leave he’d be waiting forever, your to do list that day had been pretty short. Instead you did what you did best: talk.
“I don’t know if you think I’m messing with you or-“
“I don’t.”
Bruce inhaled deeply, feeling your impatient eyes on him. He didn’t like to be rushed and of course he did his best to avoid any uncomfortable scenarios that might cause him stress. In that moment you were his stress, his guilt. His reason for sleepless nights. You wouldn’t let him retreat into himself and back to his old ways, you wouldn’t take no for an answer. Unlike him you enjoyed pushing boundaries a little, letting loose and drawing introverts like him out of their shell. All that he could handle but not the other guy being drawn out with it.
“Y/n you’ve made your feelings clear but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not a safe person to have that kind of relationship with. You might think you want this but think it through...there’s no normal life with me.” Bruce trailed off suddenly feeling his heart sink at how much he believed his own words. He was sure they stung him more than they stung you and perhaps he was right.
Taking careful steps towards the scientist, you took hold of his hands in yours. Bruce relaxed a little into your gentle touch, enjoying the softness of you. Sensing his calm, you decided to speak. “You’re saying I can’t have a normal life with you Bruce but look around,” you gestured to the extravagance of the lab. “This, Avengers Tower, all of us in it. None of this is normal - nothing about my current life is normal. I’m roommates with a Norse God and I’ve seen stranger things in the last year that most people see in a lifetime.”
You felt Bruce’s hands slip out of your grasp as he shook his head. “It’s not just that, what about your life? You wouldn’t be safe with me what if I lost control,” his frown deepened as he pictured something horrific. “For a second?…I can’t - I couldn’t live with that. I can’t risk that…”
“If I’m not safe in that scenario then how come it’s safe for us like this? Right now? In the time we’ve known each other how many times have we been alone?” You didn’t wait for him to answer. “Countless, countless times and nothing has happened. You’ve never laid a finger on me, you’ve never lost your temper. I always feel safe with you.” Bruce’s heart could have burst at your utter trust in him.
“I feel safer with you than with anyone.”
As the words left your lips you knew you meant them whole heartedly, no one made you feel as safe and calm as Bruce. He was at a loss for words, as he often was around you, replaying the moment in his head amazed each time that you were real. That any of it was real and happening to him, he who spent so much of his life witnessing the joy of others instead of seeking it out himself.
“You really trust me?” Bruce felt he had to check before his hands found yours once more, pulling you closer to him. “Of course I do.” You beamed, feeling his arm snake round your waist. The moment felt fragile as if one wrong word would silence Bruce forever and he’d never touch you again. There was so much you craved to tell him, so many things he’d never guess you’d want or feel and yet you resisted. He was nervous enough as it was.
The noise of the fan in his lab gained a presence of its own in the quiet that followed. Bruce wasn’t just thinking he was strategising, playing scenarios in his head against each other to judge the best option. No matter what happened he couldn’t mess this up, couldn’t let you slip through his grasp. If you’d truly meant every word he’d have to believe you. Most importantly he had to trust every part of himself with you. There could be no hiding.
“Can I kiss you?”
Bruce almost missed the beaming smile that spread across your face before your lips were on his. He was really starting to notice how impatient you were, not that he minded - he found it endearing. As your hands found his face and his apprehensively closed round your waist, Bruce realised he hadn’t kissed a human since the accident. It was better than he remembered. He wondered how he’d gone this long without tasting you and how he’d cope if it were never to happen again.
When you finally pulled away Bruce was flushed but not green…pink. He looked as relaxed a person can be awake and you grinned at the thought that it was all your doing. “See,” you smirked. “Was that so bad?” Bruce ran his tongue across his teeth, trying to bask in the moment instead of his worries. The way you were seeing him made him feel younger. Calmer. Freer. There was a very real possibility that you might become his drug of choice, someone he couldn’t live without, if you kept looking at him like that.
“You look beautiful.” Bruce finally allowed himself to tell you, after so long of just thinking it every-time you entered a room. You smiled as you felt his arms tighten ever so slightly around your waist, your chest flushed against his. He was always warm sometimes it left you borderline drowsy but not that day. “Gonna tell me what I said last night yet?” Your tone was flirty. “Well let’s see,” Bruce looked up mimicking deep thought as his chin rested atop your head.
“You said I’m annoyingly attractive.”
“Uh huh absolutely.”
“And that you like smart men.”
“Yep.”
“Who are middle aged.”
“One hundred percent.”
You both smiled at each other, pupils wide like a pair of teenagers, feeling as care free as people fighting aliens ever could.
“Anything else I should know?”
“You can’t hold your liquor.”
Bruce chuckled, sending a warm safe feeling through your whole body. He didn’t laugh often but when he did it was wonderful. He was wonderful. You kissed him again, already knowing you’d never get sick of doing so, before resting your head on his chest. “Thank you.” You mumbled.
“For what?”
“For trusting me too.”
Bruce kissed your forehead, his warm hold on your torso bringing both of you a peace you never expected to find.
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