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Matured audience advised
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HARRY POTTER and CO.
-In The Absence of Goodbye (Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort - Enemies to Lovers to Strangers to..)
Bartemius Crouch Junior x Fem!reader
Summary: Concept- After being sent back in time to spend a year in the Marauders Era, reader is thrown forward in time and has her memories erased.
But was she truly sent home?
Aka: Dumbledore underestimates Barty's absolute disregard for order when it comes to his vixen.
-HIATUS We'll Heal Together (Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort) 13/? parts Remus Lupin/Sirius Black x Reader
Part 1-9 can be read as a standalone.
Summary: Harry Potter grew up without the warmth of a family he should have known. A father in James Potter, a mother in Lily Potter, a God Father in Sirius Black, and an uncle in Remus Lupin. Oh, and let's not forget, a godmother in {Y/N} {L/N}
Alt Summary: Starts at the end of Chamber of secrets and into the Prisoner of Azkaban with the first chapter, Harry meeting his father's old friends, and starts learning the fate of {Y/N}, who has long since been presumed dead. there seems to be more of a story hidden behind her disappearance, and in turn, her reappearance.
-Good boy, Pads {Mini-Siris}
Summary: Long hours, late nights, and dark alleyways. Good thing you have a guardian angel looking out for you. {Aka: Padfoot protects a muggle reader on her walk home}
-Expectations
Summary: Reminiscing on some romantic encounters, you have come to the conclusion Harry Potter is not someone you'd ever date. HURT/COMFORT
HEADCANNONS
Jealousy, Jealousy
Where the boys get jealous... (Feat. Barty, Regulus, Sirius, Remus, and James)
POLY!SHIPS
-Poly!Marauders+Lily x Fem!Reader
- Zombie Apocalypse Au
-Loving You is Easy
Summary: Being younger than all your respective partners was never a big deal; until they graduated and you were left behind. As your mental health declined and their lives started without you, a break was needed.
-Lily's Touch {Omegaverse}
Summary: The reader is experiencing her first heat, and nothing matter how hard she tries, she can't get the nest right.
-Jily x Slytherin!Reader
Jily x Slytherin!gnreader
Summary: An interesting situationship with Jily}
-Sirius/James/Remus Band Au
Summary: Reader has a horrible encounter on stage and the boys comfort her
-What's Your Name? {Sneak Peak}
Moonwater Fluff
-Status Quo
Summary: Early mornings and the Status Quo of the Marauder's house hold. {THIS FANFICTION IS INSPIRED- no, actually, basically a tribute to @/ellecdc's PadVix fanfiction. I would be amazed you are reading any of my stuff and not having read theirs but the link is here if you need it.
REMUS LUPIN
-Spoiled Brat (Pt 1?) (Lil Angsty, +18, fluff)
Summary: When your escapism over the summer turns a bit more real, as you fall in love with a half blood your father would never approve of}
-Think like a Lupin (Angsty, lotta angst, happy ending! fluff +18)
Summary: Your parents are planning to marry you off the second after you graduate, but after an unfortunate encounter with a werewolf, plans change.
-Break a Leg Not My Heart (Some angst, mostly light hearted fluff)
Summary: You get hurt during Quidditch practice and Remus doesn't leave your side. Friends to lovers.
-Meeting Royalty (Fluff, Suggestive)
Summary: Meet cute but make it royalty} Part 2
-Too Late (Angst, no comfort) {Pt.2}
Summary: Remus comes to terms with a love lost to his own insecurities.
-Stray
Summary: Post war Remus finds home for his heart
-It Repeats Itself
Summary: Even years after the war the effects of Voldemort's reign still had waves of effects. One just so happened to have a poor girl caught in the cross fire. (This is more of a concept then a fleshed out story-a little cliche)
-Just thinking about Sirius testing tattoo ideas on you...
-Over and Over Again
Summary: The legend of soulmates and the myth of endless lives tied to one another permanently was once a myth you don't believe. Until you met Remus Lupin.
BARTY CROUCH JUNIOR
-The boy I knew {Sneak peek}
Summary- When Barty knew love
-The Boy I Knew {Part 1} (Angst, Fluff, +18)
-Do You Some Good
“When we’re done here, we can go back to hating each other. Deal?” “You’re not going to believe this, but I think I actually prefer things like this.”
-Dear Future Husband
-Cat and Mouse
Summary: The reader can never truly get away Barty, no matter how hard she tries. He'll always find his family.
-Love me, too
Summary: Late nights with loose lipped Barty, a single conversation unraveled years of yearning.
-I am not writing this because I could not mentally take it but...
-Trust and Obedience
Summary: Small snippets of moments between you and Barty, where you really should have picked up on his spiral.
Potter!Reader;
-Everything is Blue
Summary: As things escalate with Barty he draws a line in the sand.
-I Might Still Hate You
Summary: An unexpected guest shows up at your house late at night.
-Not Quite Poison- {Pt.2}
Summary: after a chance meeting in the library; a whirlwind love affair between Barty Crouch Jr and the youngest Potter blossom, but neither of them were prepared for how life would go after.
-They'll Be Alright
Summary: James Potter learns to like tolerate his sisters taste in men.
-Making Mistakes - {Pt.2}
Summary: After a horrible break up in 7th year, Barty and you haven't spoken a word to eachother. Then, he comes barreling back into your life begging for forgiveness, will you trust him?
JAMES POTTER
-Fall in Love in a Night (A lil angst, basically just a fluffy fluffy love story)
Summary: College AU, Muggle AU, James falls in love with the some of the worst parts of you }
-Fix it Yourself (All the Angst, lil comfort) +18
Summary: Falling in love with James Potter was a whirlwind affair full of lies and heartbreak. Everything comes to a head when he asks you to fake date someone so Lily will give him a chance.
-Little Lupin (Fluff)
Summary: James has a little crush on little Lupin
-Masterpiece
Summary: James Potter goes a little too far with a girl everyone happens to like.
-Just Kiss Her
Summary: You find a few unsent letters with your name on them- literally.
-Bed Hopper
Summary: After creating a tradition of cuddling James before bed, you'd think you'd have the path down by now.
-Not Made for Easy
Summary: Years of loving and yearning unfurl the night before graduation. A dramatic love confession.
-Why Couldn't It Be Us
Summary: James grappled with the reality of loosing the love of his life.
SIRIUS BLACK
-Casual (Angsty, fluff at the end) +18
Summary: Sirius falls for his most recent hook up, and she refuses to cave to what she wants}
-Fix it Yourself (All the Angst, lil comfort) +18
Summary: Falling in love with James Potter was a whirlwind affair full of lies and heartbreak. Everything comes to a head when he asks you to fake date someone so Lily will give him a chance.
-Like my father {Blurb}
Summary: Reader wants a man to love her like her father loves her mom. She just hasn't met him yet.. maybe.
-Kiss And Make-Up
Summary: Pool side at the Potters, Sirius takes you for a swim.
-Rock 'n Roll
Summary: Sirius stays home with a hangover, but the reader is always there to lend a hand.
-Just thinking about Sirius testing tattoo ideas on you...
-Self Fulfilling Prophecy
Summary: Potters love like it's a sport, but it seems that only a Black can challenge that.
FRED WEASLEY
-Summer Talks
Summary: Fred lets you know what he's waiting for
-Too Much Like Me
Summary: James finds out Lily's type in men is apparently genetic.
-Burning Bright, Falling Hard
Summary: Fred Weasley and you share a quiet moment in your room
HERMIONE GRANGER
-Invisible (Lil Angsty, basically just fluff) Blurb
Summary: Reader is a bit of a punk like Sirius, with Remus's insecurities. She doesn't believe she deserves a girl like Hermione. No real plot just Angst straight into fluff
MATTHEO RIDDLE
-But daddy I love him (Lil Angst, fluff)
Summary: Harry finds out his sister is dating Mattheo Riddle Ft. James, Lily, Remus, Sirius - No war au }
" Dinner Party " (Pt 2)
Summary: The Potters throw a dinner party; Mattheo meets the family}
Wc- 4142
-King's Gambit
Summary: You go to a Ministry gala with your family, meeting and dancing with Mattheo Riddle, who is just looking to cause some trouble,
REGULUS BLACK
-Monarch butterfly (Hurt/comfort) wip
Summary- Monarch butterflies only live for up to six weeks. Their life brings an unspoken joy to the people who witness it, a peaceful feeling to the life that last so much longer then their own. They bring smiles to the faces of children, they bring good luck for those who choose it, they bring so much value to lives they will never truly be a part of. Your butterfly was, and always would be, Regulus black.
-We'll Heal Together (Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort) 12/? parts Remus Lupin/Sirius Black x Reader
Masterlist
Playlist - Songs I listen to while writing/Songs I think express the readers various relationships.
Summary: Harry Potter grew up without the warmth of a family he should have known. A father in James Potter, a mother in Lily Potter, a God Father in Sirius Black, and an uncle in Remus Lupin. Oh, and let's not forget, a godmother in {Y/N} {L/N}
Alt Summary: Starts at the end of Chamber of secrets and into the Prisoner of Azkaban with the first chapter, Harry meeting his father's old friends, and starts learning the fate of {Y/N}, who has long since been presumed dead. there seems to be more of a story hidden behind her disappearance, and in turn, her reappearance.
Running Wc- 39,037
Chapters:
•Prologue
•Part One
•Part Two
•Part Three
•Part Three 1/2 {Blurb}
•Part Four
•Part Five
•Part Six
•Part Seven
•Part Eight
•Part Nine
I'll Look After You
•Prologue (Nine 1/2)
•Part Ten
•Part Eleven
Blurbs/Oneshots:
• You and Sirius's break up...
• Coming soon...
{Summer at the Potters}
Blurb request form:
Prompt/Question:
Must have Charaters:
Optional:
Summary: True colors are shown from all ends, Remus can't take it
Wc: 4063
Cw: use of {Y/N}, Cussing, fighting, depictions of abusive relationships, Benjy slander(I'm sorry), Drinking and getting drunk, James being a problem
Part one
A few months had passed since that cold night at the Potters’ engagement party, and the world had shifted in ways Remus had never anticipated. He had thrown himself into his work with the Order, using every ounce of energy he had to distract himself from the pain of losing you. But despite his efforts, the ache in his heart remained, a constant reminder of what might have been.
You and Benjy had taken the next steps in your relationship, and while Remus tried to be happy for you, it felt as though he was watching a beautiful sunset. Knowing the night was just around the corner.
Waiting for the moon to taunt him.
If he thought the last three years were torture without you, the last few months being near you was worse.
The love you had for him now belonged to someone else, someone older, someone better, and he was left with the memory of what could have been. Day in and day out, he was reminded of it every time he passed by your proposal photos at the Potters’.
The nights were the hardest. He would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, wishing he could find the courage to reach out to you, to tell you everything he had held back, selfishly hoping it was a front. That you still loved him far more then you'd ever love Benjy. But the fear of intruding on your happiness kept him silent, and he buried himself deeper in his work.
The tension in the air had thickened as news of Voldemort's newest victories began to swirl around them. The Order was on high alert, and every mission felt heavier with the weight of uncertainty.
Benjy’s response to the dangers was to move your wedding day up. He said he wanted to die a happy and married man. You didn't seem to enjoy his joke, but you agreed the sooner the better.
Remus felt a pang of bitterness at the thought, his heart clenching in response to the news. He tried to shake it off, to remind himself that you deserved happiness, that you were moving forward with your life. But the reality of it stung, like salt in a fresh wound. He couldn’t help but feel like he was losing you all over again, and this time, it felt irrevocable.
The wedding was set for a few weeks from now, and the thought of it loomed over him like a dark cloud. Every time he caught sight of you at the Order meetings, laughing with Benjy or sharing a tender moment, it felt like a dagger twisting deeper into his chest. He had to remind himself that it was his fault, that he had let fear dictate his actions, pushing you away when he wanted you more then anything.
With the wedding so close, the rehearsal dinner was moved as well. You had mentioned the idea of just skipping it, but Benjy was determined to celebrate.
It was tonight. And after some coaxing from Lily he made it to the Potter manor.
“So, Benjy, truth or dare?” Lily’s voice filled the room, leaning back against James who stole her drink for himself. Already sloppy off his ass.
The party was rather fun, Remus had to admit. You and him finally managed an air of normalcy. Benjy and you both decided to forgo to typical traditions, turning it into a get together to remind people of the more simple joys in life.
That meant silly drinking games and childish fun.
The atmosphere was lively, filled with laughter and the clinking of glasses, and for a moment, Remus allowed himself to be swept up in it. He watched as you and Benjy engaged with friends, your laughter brightening the room. You looked radiant, your happiness palpable, and it made his heart ache in ways he couldn’t fully express.
“Come on, Benjy! Don’t be a coward. Truth or dare?” Lily’s playful challenge snapped Remus out of his thoughts.
Benjy smirked, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying the attention. “Dare.” He said confidently, and Remus felt a spark of unease.
“I dare you to kiss {Y/N}.” Lily declared, her eyebrows wiggling playfully.
The room erupted in cheers and laughter, and Remus felt his heart drop. Sirius, however, booed. “Come on, those two are never NOT kissing! Give em a real one, red!”
Lily laughed and flipped him off with both fingers as Benjy turned to you, wiggling his eyebrows. “My lady?”
You laughed and held out your hand when he asked for it. He took it and kissed up your arm to your shoulder, making you giggle and smile so hard your cheeks hurt. “Benjy!” You scolded when he bit the strap of your tube top. The same dress you wore to the winter formal.
He gave a playful chuckle and kissed your cheek, making you shove his face away with playful disgust.
The energy in the room was electric, a mix of laughter and playful teasing that filled the air with warmth. Remus tried to force a smile, but the sight of you and Benjy together made it feel like a mask, hiding all the turmoil roiling inside him. The way you laughed, the way you looked at him, it was everything Remus had dreamed of sharing with you.
As Benjy continued his antics, leaning in closer to you, Remus felt a deep, gnawing ache in his chest. He tried to focus on the people around him, but his gaze kept drifting back to you. You were everything he remembered and more, the light in your eyes shining brighter than any candle in the room. But with each passing second, it became clearer to him that you were moving on, and he was left behind.
“Alright, alright, I’ll give you a proper kiss,” Benjy announced, clearly enjoying the game. With a flourish, he pulled you in close, his hands resting on your waist. Remus gripped the edge of the table, feeling the tension knot in his stomach.
As Benjy leaned in, you met him halfway, and their lips connected in a sweet kiss that seemed to last forever. The cheers and whoops from the others faded into a dull roar, and Remus felt as if he were drowning in a sea of emotions. The warmth of the room turned cold, and he could hardly breathe.
“See? That’s how it’s done.” He cheeked and kissed your nose, making you smile up at him. Remus didn't even had time to notice how it didn't reach your eyes.
“Alright tough guy, your turn!” James huffed from the love seat cross from them. Remus noticed his tone, it wasn't entirely pleasant and James was clearly struggling to hide it, especially in his drunken state.
Benjy chuckled softly, but his eyes darkened a bit despite his smile. “Alright, James! Truth or dare?”
James gave a simple smile before he shrugged. “Truth.”
“Okay, truth.” He hummed and it was hard not to notice the tension between the two. “Why don't you like me, man?”
Not like him? This was news to Remus. Too observed in self hatred he didn't even notice James fake laughter and false smiles until now.
“Benjy.” You warned softly, pouting at him a bit. Like this was something you had asked him not to bring up. Benjy put his hand on your thigh and gave it a simple squeeze, eyes still on James. “It's alright, babe.” He whispered and you furrowed your brow further.
The tension in the air thickened with every passing moment. He could see the flicker of irritation in James’s eyes, a stark contrast to the carefree atmosphere that had filled the room just moments before. The party was still lively around them, but the bubble you guys had created was terribly tense.
“Why don’t I like you?” James repeated, his voice steady despite the slight slur from the alcohol. “It’s not that I don’t like you, Benjy. It’s just… I don’t know. I guess I just don’t trust you with her.”
Lily smacked his leg and gave a gasp. “James Potter!”
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, glancing between the two men, clearly caught off guard by the sudden confrontation. “Guys, can we not do this now?” You interjected, your voice soft but firm.
“Yeah, can we just keep this fun?” Remus chimed in, trying to defuse the situation. He forced a smile, hoping to lighten the mood, but the weight of the moment hung heavily in the air.
Benjy's eyes narrowed slightly, the playful demeanor slipping for a moment. “What’s that supposed to mean, Remus?” He asked, his tone edged with defensiveness.
“Nothing! Just… it’s a party, right? We’re supposed to be celebrating, not this,” Remus replied, his heart pounding as he tried to navigate the tension. He could feel the way everyone was suddenly looking at him, as if he were the referee in an unspoken showdown.
“Exactly.” Your voice rose just enough to cut through the thick air. Benjy scoffed and waved you off. Muttering something about you agreeing with Remus. Has Benjy always been so dismissive of you?
You have a shaky sigh and Sirius spoke up, a hesitant smile on his face. “Besides, James is just being a brother, yeah? Protective and shit.”
You gave him an appreciative look. Sirius leaned back and gave you a smile before flashing it to Benjy. James giving a thoughtful drunken look. “Should of seen him at Hogwarts! Didn't want anyone dating his sister. Oh, it was sad to watch.”
“It's not that I didn't want her dating anyone!” James huffed and bit his cheek.
“James, stop.” You snapped, Lily hissing a curse to tell him to just stop talking, but James huffed.
“I just figured it would be Remus.”
The tension in the room escalated, and Remus felt his heart race as he processed James's words. His stomach twisted at the implication, and he could see the discomfort ripple through you. You looked caught between annoyance and embarrassment, your eyes darting between James and Benjy, who was clearly unimpressed with the turn the conversation had taken.
“You can’t just throw that out there like it’s some kind of joke! This isn’t funny.” Lily continued to scold him and snatched his drink away.
Remus felt a strange mix of emotions surge within him. He felt the weight of James's comment pressing down on him like a heavy stone. He had always been the one who kept his feelings buried, and now the spotlight was on him in a way he had never wanted. Even James had been rooting for him…
Benjy took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. “Look, I get it. You wanted your best friend to be family, I can get that.” His voice was steady, but Remus could see the tension in his jaw. “But she's mine now.” Remus seemed caught off guard by his phrasing. His? “You can't seriously hate me because she loves me and not him, yeah? She loves me.”
“Yeah, but Remus is different.” James insisted, his expression firm. “He’s been in love with {Y/N} since day one. Through all her weird phases. You can’t compete with that, sorry, Benjy.” James continued like a child.
Remus felt heat rise to his cheeks. He could see your eyes widening, the shock evident on your face as you processed James’s blunt admission. You looked between the two men, clearly caught in an uncomfortable position that was only getting worse.
“James, this isn’t the time.” You pleaded, your voice strained. “Can we not make this about Remus?”
Benjy’s grip on your thigh tightened, but he remained calm, trying to diffuse the situation. “I’m not trying to disrespect anyone here, man. But it’s kind of unfair to just hate me for trying to make you sister happy.”
“Yeah, well, maybe it’s unfair for Remus to just stand there and let it happen,” James shot back, his tone defensive. Shooting a drunken glare at Remus who gave him a shocked look. Almost offended. James scoffed and looked back to you. “I’m just saying that if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t be able to handle watching the love of my life marry someone else, especially when he's an absolute git.”
“James, I think it's time to shut up.” Sirius snapped at James but he didn't falter, James jaw tightening as he noticed you shuffle uncomfortably when Benjy’s grip on your thigh only tightened.
“James, please, just stop talking.” You seethed and he reached for another drink, one Remus was quick enough to snatch from him.
“And what about you, {Y/N}?” James snapped and gestured to you.
“Are you really okay with all of this? With him?” His words hung in the air, charged with an intensity that made everyone shift uncomfortably.
You looked taken aback, your expression a mixture of disbelief and frustration. “What do you mean ‘okay with him’? I love Benjy. What else do you want me to say?” Your voice was firm, but there was a slight tremor in it, betraying the emotions swirling just beneath the surface.
“Do you love him the way you loved Remus?” James pressed, clearly not backing down. “Because it feels like there’s still something still there. Even after three years I've never seen you look at anyone like you look at him!”
“James-” Lily stood and tried to coax him up, trying to excuse her husband before he ruined the night further.
“No! He's like a damn puppy, Lily. He's hurt!” James shouted over his wife and Remus stood up, placing a hand on James chest to push him back against the love seat.
“James. Shut up.” He seethed, finally tired of just sitting around and letting it all happen.
James shoved him back and stood up to challenge him back. Pointing his drunken finger to his chest. “You let her go so easy man! Three years? Three years you left her with this jag off!”
You finally stood up, coming between the two. “James, cut it out! Hes my fiance and I'd appreciate if you'd don't insult him! If you're so unhappy with it you can go!”
“I can go?” James scoffed, gesturing to Remus. “What about him?”
“What do you mean, James? He hasn't done anything!”
“That's my bloody point! He let you go! Now he's just some.. stranger! You guys don't even write anymore!” James whined like some obscene child of divorce. Gesturing between you two with a drunken stumble, trying to stifle a burp. “You two were perfect for each other.” He continued to insist. “What happened?”
You sighed and tried to focus on the fact that James was drunk, he was being stupid, and he wasn't going to see reason easily. “James… I still care about Remus, that won't change.”
Your eyes flicked to said boy but his eyes were focused on the edge of your dress skirt. Noticing the large handprint shaped bruise on your thigh from Benjy’s grip. You quickly covered it.
“But you're marrying him!” James gestured towards Benjy and Remus eventually gave in, falling back on the couch and eyeing Benjy.
“You can't pretend this is some casual fling! You're marrying him! Ring on your finger! You hated big chunky jewelry.” James shouted and you gave a scandalized laugh.
“Fling? James, I know that!”
“Then why?!” He whined like he physically couldn't understand. Like it was impossible; the idea you could want Benjy when you could have Remus. “Mom and dad loved Remus! They would of hated Benjy too! They knew you loved him! And now you're just expecting me to believe you don't anymore!?”
You felt a surge of anger rising within you, fueled by the insistence, unfiltered by your own drinks tonight. “Of course I still do- that doesn't just change, James!” You blurted out, the words escaping before you could stop them.
Silence enveloped the room. You could feel the shock radiating from everyone- the laughter, the playful atmosphere evaporating into thin air. Everyone, your family, Benjy’s family, your friends and coworkers, everyone’s eyes were on you.
Remus’s eyes widened, and for a brief moment, you thought you saw a flicker of hope and disbelief in his gaze.
“Wait- what?” Benjy’s voice was soft, almost broken as he processed your words. Then, came that familiar rage. “You're kidding.”
Everyone was silent. James was staring down at you with a furrowed brow, his lip twitching slightly.
“I didn't hear that.” Benjy scoffed and stood up, tossing his drink across the room and the expensive glass shattered against the hard floor. “I really hope I didn't hear that properly.”
You took a shutter of a breath, trying to hide your wince as you walked over to your fiance and tried to mutter an apology, trying to excuse you two to have a private conversation.
He was having none of it.
“Don’t you dare apologize now!” Benjy shouted, his voice echoing off the walls, drawing the attention of everyone in the room, you could hear a pen drop. He stepped closer, invading your personal space, his eyes blazing with anger. You stumbled back instinctively. “You’ve been playing me this entire time, haven’t you? Telling me you love me while still pining after him! How am I supposed to trust you after that?”
“Benjy, please, it’s not like that.” You lowered your voice, feeling a twinge of panic rise in your chest. You tried to take a full step back, but he reached out, grabbing your arm with a grip that felt too tight, too possessive.
“Not like that?” He repeated, his voice dripping with sarcasm. You could smell the fire whiskey on his breath. He was drunk, you tried to remind yourself, everyone was. “You just told everyone you’re still in love with him! What am I supposed to think? That you’ll marry me and then run back to him the moment things get tough? Are you cheating on me?” He laughed. “With Remus Lupin of all people?”
You could feel the heat of his anger radiating off him, and the fear began to creep in. Trying to ignore the familiar danger in this conversation. Ever since that night on the balcony he was becoming someone you knew, someone he promised he wasn't anymore. “I’m not cheating on you! I chose you, Benjy! You’re the one I want to marry!”
But he pulled you closer, his grip tightening. “Benjy, nothing has happened.” You whispered, insisting, as you tried to pull him along with you.
“Please. Not in front of everyone.” You whispered again. You could hear James curse, turning to watch as Sirius got between you and your brother. The drunken idiot looked ready to kill Benjy.
“Not in front of everyone?” Benjy laughed, his voice rising again, anger bubbling. “You think that’s going to change how I feel right now? You think I care about what anyone else thinks when my fiancée just declared her love for another man?”
His grip on your arm was painful, and you tried to pull away, but he only tightened his hold. You slowly closed your eyes. Not hearing Lily shouting at James as she dragged him out, James complaints and verbal threats about Bengy’s behavior not even reaching you, Lily fully trusting the boys to deal with it. Not noticing how Marlene and Mary began to escort people out of the house.
Much to Benjy’s drunken berating.
“Benjy, please.” You pleaded, desperation lacing your tone. “I’m not cheating on you. I love you. I am marrying you. Like we promised, yeah?”
But Benjy's expression twisted into something dark, a mixture of hurt and fury. His teeth gritting. “You think that’s enough? You think just saying you love me is going to erase what you just said?” He stepped closer, his voice dropping to a low, menacing tone. “You’ve put me in a position where I can’t trust you. You think I can just ignore this? That I can pretend it doesn’t hurt? You humiliated me.”
“I'm only going to tell you to back up once.” Sirius’s voice cut through you two, sharp and commanding. He stepped forward, positioning himself between you and Benjy, his expression full of pure rage.. “How about you put your hands on a man your size, huh?”
“Sirius…” Remus warned as he walked up behind you.
Benjy’s eyes flicked to Sirius, a flash of defiance crossing his face. “Stay out of this, Black! This is between me and her.”
“No, it’s not just between you two anymore,” Sirius shot back, unwavering. “You don't get to touch my sister like that.”
You could almost smile at the comment. Sirius’s declaration; you wondered if your dad would be proud.
He'd surely be disappointed in you.
“Touch her?” Benjy’s voice dripped with disdain. “She's my wife. She’s the one who made a fool of us!”
“Benjy-” You started before you felt Remus’s hand rest on your shoulder, slowly running down to rub the tender spot Benjy had just been manhandling. When your eyes met Remus’s there was something so reassuring, so soft.
“I didn't mean for this-”
“Just stop talking.” He hissed and before Sirius could ball up his fist Benjy spoke again.
“Give me my ring. I'm done with you.” He snapped and you winced. Carefully taking the gem off and handing it to Sirius. Who then, like an asshole, tossed it across the room.
“Go fetch.” He hissed and Banji scoffed, eyes still on you.
“I knew you were a waste of my time.” He spat harshly, “The second you showed your real colors. You right bitch-”
You had never seen Remus move so quickly in your life. Your mouth have a horrified sound as you watched Remus’s fist collide with Bengy’s face.
The impact echoed in the room, a sharp crack that momentarily stunned everyone into silence; everyone who was left to watch the pathetic scene. Benjy staggered back, clutching his nose, blood beginning to trickle down his face and from in between his fingers. The room was caught between shock and disbelief, all eyes turning towards Remus.
“Don’t you dare speak to her like that.” Remus growled, the anger radiating off him dangerously. He felt everything, jealousy, rage, regret, anger. Guilt- guilt that he even let this happen. That a man as disgusting as Benjy had somehow fooled you- and Remus had let it happen.
He would let a lot of things happen for your happiness, but he would do a bloody lot more for your honor. If that meant bloodying his knuckles that was fine. He would do what James said, he'd fight for you.
You covered your mouth in stunned silence but Sirius just gave a wicked smirk. You turned to glare at Sirius and he shrugged without a lick of regret.
Remus stood firm, fists clenched at his sides, as he watched Benjy stumble back, the realization of what had just happened settling in. You could see the fury in Remus's eyes, a fierce protectiveness that sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you.
“Remus, you-”
Benjy regained his footing, wiping the blood from his nose with a look of utter disbelief mixed with rage. “You think that makes you a hero?” He spat, his voice low. “Trust me, half breed, she ain't worth saving.” Sirius stepped in this time, but Remus was the one to hold him back. A hand to his chest.
Benjy and Remus held eye contact before Remus’s eyes flickered to the door. Benjy scoffed before he began to leave, leaving the ring in the center of the shattered glass.
Everything crashed over uou as you watched him leave. Was it relief? Grief? Yearning? You wanted to run to him but you wanted to curse his name. You wanted to take the ring back but also wanted to throw it into the black lake and forget about it. You finally broke down, covering your face in shame as Sirius sighed and Remus quickly turned on his heels to pull you into a hug. Suddenly as soft as a teddy bear.
Sirius slowly sighed and ran his fingers threw his long hair. “James is going to kill him.” He mumbled before he turned to face you two. He cooed and walked over, rubbing your back as you came undone.
Summary: You and Remus share a chat that is interrupted by a noisy kid
Cw: Use of {Y/N}, the mention of character death and child abuse}
Wc- 3599
Taglist- @otterlockholmes @stylesann @adhxmoony
The sun had gone down completely, the bright reflective moon shining down through the window and drapes, to highlight your huddled figure. It had been days since Harry came home, the adjustments were rather easy to start. The routine came like second nature, like you and the boys had always been living together.
After Harry went to bed, you said goodnight to Sirius and went straight to the living room. You're on a week-long mission. Curled up on the couch, back to the armrest in a mess of pillows. A crochet blanket Lily had made you over the summer back at Hogwarts laid over your lap, your legs bent to hold up a large photo album.
The sound of crackling wood from the fireplace and turning pages filled the very small living space, your soft hums accompanied it. You had a stack of photos in your hand and were looking through the practical hundreds of others from your youth.
“What are we doing here?” A voice so undeniably soothing filled your ears. You let yourself smile, turning to face Remus as he walked over. The full moon was growing closer and it was clear it was already affecting him. His jaw was locked and his eyes were dropped, a semi permanent furrowed brow, and yet still somehow the same comforting boy as always.
“Can't sleep?” You prodded, pulling your head back towards him, your eyes still on the photos in front of you. Watching the one on top, you, Lily and Remus. It was from graduation, you three were laughing at something the photo taker, Sirius, had said, holding up your perfect marks from the entire school year. Lily was holding two offer letters, one from Fleamont Potter, to come and help take over the business James didn't want to take part in. The other was an offer letter from the ministry, offering her an internship as an Auror.
Remus was holding an offer letter from St. Mungo’s and one from the Ministry as well. You, of course, were holding up your acceptance letter to be boarded on full time at the ministry as a full fledged Auror. You and Lily were smiling at Sirius, Remus was glancing at you before turning back to the camera as the flash took place.
You found yourself wondering, what would of been different if you hadn't gotten the internship earlier, if Remus was able to accept any of those jobs without worrying about his infliction, if Lily had taken the potioneer job. If keeping your heads down until you knew more would have changed anything. You doubted it.
You had a feeling an old wizard would of ensured it went his way regardless.
“No, my bones are aching.” He groaned. You watched as he sat down by your feet, his own back against the arm rest to look at you fully. You smiled at him as he peaked over your legs rather easily.
“Is that our old photo album?”
“The one we made with Lily when Harry was born? It is. She asked me to hold a few of her things she didn't want to take with her. Said she couldn't bear it if it was destroyed like their other safe houses.” He hummed in acknowledgment and your smile only faltered a bit. It hit hard, every time you remembered she was gone. James as well, but you had to admit, James was like a brother to you, of course he was. You couldn't think of a single person who wasn't extremely fond of him. Either you loved him or hated him, there was no half way. Though, as you both grew older, you knew you'd always have a special love for eachother, but you both grew into other friendships. You both remained each other's anchor, but he wasn't around all the time like he used to be.
Being away from him was normal, it was like you could pretend he was out somewhere in the highlands avenging the friends you've lost. Oh but Lily, you did everything with her and Severus. Even when you lost him, Lily remained tied to your hip. Not having her here was jarring. Especially coming to terms with the fact she had been gone for 13 years.
You looked at the photos in your hand, the ones you intended to gift to Harry for his photo book Hagrid gifted him, and noticed not a single one was missing the red head. Guess it was becoming subconscious. You thumbed the pages idly, tilting your head a bit as you scanned over the moving pages. Your eyes lidded slightly before a hand entered your vision and covered yours. You looked up to meet Remus’s soft smile.
“Hey.” He whispered. It was that tone. That tone you used to tell eachother secrets when you were surrounded by your friends. That tone he used to promise you everything and nothing at the same time.
“Hey.” You whispered back. Allowing him to take the photos from you and the book next, setting them both on the coffee table and smirking at you. You slowly mirrored his look, a bit confused, with an arched brow and a look bordering on concerned and playful. “Remus?”
“I haven't seen you in twelve years. The days simply aren't enough” He whispered and pulled the blanket from your lap, before patting your knee. He stood up and offered you his hand. “Let's get you a coat. I feel like walking.” He prodded and you gave a bit of a sniffle before you laughed. Always so doting, Remus was.
“Alright alright, so bossy, so needy in your old age.” You cheeked and took his hand. He helped you up but didn't let go of your hand.
“I was a teacher, Vix. What was it you said, hm? I'm your responsibility.” He teased and chuckled at your rolling eyes.
“I said my promise was my responsibility.” You sang. That was the only way to drag him here with you, the promise you and the boys made years ago, to spend every full moon with Remus. Even during the war, James wasn't there, but you, Sirius, and Peter were.
“Am I not a promise you've made?” He chuckled and let go of your hand, grabbing your old coat from the hanger.
“Not of my own free will.” You hummed and easily relaxed as he slipped the sleeves over your shoulders. Neither of you noticed as Harry peaked downstairs to watch you two leave the cottage into the moonlit outdoors.
As you both walked outside, the cold summer night wrapped around you like a blanket. It felt sort of nice, as the crickets filled the silence with their songs and Remus pulled you along down the trail past the cobblestone fence. It was so familiar, you had taken this walk several times in the past. You could almost hear Mary teasing Lily for wearing a woolen shirt to the lake. James’s adamant defense of his fiancé, while turning the attention to Remus who was wearing the same button up and sweater vest combo he always did.
The closer you got to the edge of the hill by the coast the more vivid those feelings became, passing the three large rocks that marked the turn you had to make to cut through the tree line. Hearing Peter’s rambles about a certain snake him and Sirius found running through the mossy forest floors instead of the path. Sirius’s teasing about his ridiculous encyclopedia-like knowledge of all things scaly. As Remus turned the corner you saw the spot Marlene proposed the promise ring she had been hiding from Dorcas the whole trip. Planning to propose the idea of being eachothers forever just two years before they would pass.
The feelings held you so tight you felt yourself begin to stutter in your breaths. Hiccuping.
Remus tightened his grip on your hand and continued to pull you forward. You tightened your grip in return and he gave you a pained smile. His own eyes were glossy.
“Don't marry your memories.” He whispered and you shook your head, giving a broken laugh.
“What in Merlin’s name does that mean?”
“Don't become too consumed by them. Let them pass, {Y/N}. It hurts at first, I know.” He whispered and you slowly nodded. Letting him lead you past the proposal spot, further down the trial before you could come face to face with a lake.
A calm silence over took you both, loosing track of time as you wandered deeper into the forest your friends had once marked your own. Eventually, you made it to the small lake you guys would come down to drink at, any excuse to let loose.
It was like a time capsule. Yet.. Beer bottles and an sad excuse of a fire pit were new, with your charms on the dense forest you thought no one was brave enough to venture too deep into the wild. Seems your old stomping grounds became an escape for another group of rowdy young adults. It had been twelve years, you didn't expect this to stay a place only you few knew of.
There is no place, now, that was truly yours any longer. It was a deep rotted feeling of nostalgic pain, and yet it meant so much to you that people did find it.
Hogwarts, the lake, the map, even the shrieking shack. Your secrets were passed on, it was like a memory of you being re-lived everytime someone else came across them. You wanted others to feel that happy, that blissful, that loved, that unrivaled thrill of youth.
“It's strange, isn't it?” Remus mused from beside you, kicking a beer bottle to the side. You hummed out curiously.
“What is?”
“Seeing someone else, living our old lives.” Remus mused and gestured to the ruined landscape. “And treating it so recklessly.” He tutted, making you laugh.
“Nothing we couldn't have done, given access to what the kids have now.” You smiled and looked around the tree line. Remus clicked his tongue.
“Yes but this was our place.” He whined playfully and you laughed.
“Well,” You stepped closer to him and leaned your cheek against his shoulder. You could feel how tense he was, he must be straining. “I'm sure what was ours once belonged to someone else as well.”
He suddenly went quiet, before he let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “I guess you are right.”
“I am always right.” You mumbled. There was a long pause, before you finally asked what you had been dying to know.
“Remus?”
“Yes, darling?” He spoke low, careful.
“What did you do these past few years?”
Remus let out a deep sigh, rubbing his neck. “I was expecting you to ask.” He mumbled and you leaned back to look up at him. He met your eyes and shook his head. “Don't do that.”
“Do what?” You whispered, pulling in your bottom lip.
“Look so guilty. It wasn't your fault, darling.” He sighed and you glanced away.
“I left you alone for 12 years. We all left you-”
“Not of your own accord.” He challenged and let his hand fall from your shoulder to turn and face you fully. You still refused to meet his eyes. He shook his head and pulled you in again.
“... I spent some time with my father.”
Your eyes widened and snapped up but you could only be met with his bundled up collar against his neck. Wrapping your arms around him and giving a squeeze to show him it was okay to continue.
“After that, I moved to Scotland, there were too many memories in England.” He tattered off absentmindedly, slowly tangling one of his large hands into the hair on the back of your head, pulling you closer. You raised your hands and pressed your palms against his shoulder blades, gathering up some of the back of his shirt as you pulled yourself closer to him as well.
The first month you and Remus were alone, you hadn't had a moment to truly talk. You were dealing with the ministry and he was helping revitalize the place, make it liveable for when Harry and Sirius returned. When they both got there, you were not ashamed to admit Harry consumed your focus. Between stories of his parents, trips to the local town, and helping him unlearn the Dursley’s horrid house training, there wasn't much time for the two others who lived with you.
This conversation was long overdue.
“You moved all the way here? Why didn't you come stay at the house?” You prodded and he shook his head, his chin brushing against your temple.
“I couldn't. I couldn't face this house when it was filled with so much of Sirius. So much of you.”
You sighed and closed your eyes. You could hear his heart beating, it was wild and heavy, like it could slam out of his chest at any moment. Like it was trying to break out. “Remus-” You whispered and he just held you tighter.
“I felt guilty, for years, {Y/N}.” He muttered and you tried to pull back, startled by what he said. He refused to let you, nuzzling his face into your neck, feeling the hot tears against your skin. He was holding you that whole time, so you wouldn't see him cry.
“Remus, it's not your fault.” You whispered and moved your hands from his back to his head, and neck, rubbing him soothingly. “I made my own choice that night.”
“I shouldn't have given them your location. I shouldn't have let you go. I couldn't even sleep knowing I..” He muffled his voice in your neck and you held him tighter.
“It was my choice, Remus. You should of known, it was bound to happen to any of us.” You whispered and he shook his head, lowering his hands to rest them against your lower back. Yanking you back fully flush against him once again.
“Not you. Should of never been you.” He slightly slurred against your wet skin.
“Remus…” You whispered softly, finally able to look at and glance at him. Your voice was shaky, it didn't take much for Remus to break your heart. You would joke he had a knack for it.
“Vix, I-” There was suddenly a snap in the trees behind you, you quickly glanced over and saw a head of shaggy black hair trying to hide in the treeline. You gave a weak laugh and shook your head.
“Harry, you have you're fathers cloak!” You laughed and he slowly peaked around the corner with a mischievous but nervous smile.
He laid his hands over his pockets and rubbed his pants a bit, walking towards you two. “Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.” He smiled, but it faltered a bit when Remus let go of you and walked a bit closer to the lake. You allowed it, letting him have his space.
“It's okay, Harry.” You whispered and gestured him over. He was in his pajamas still, but was wearing Sirius’s over coat. “Couldn't sleep?”
“No.. no, not really.” He finally slipped his hands in his pockets and stood by you, bumping his head against your shoulder. You smiled and rubbed his back.
“That's alright, hun. Want to talk about it?”
There was a long pause, Harry glanced back at Remus who was still staring at the lake, you eventually glanced too and gave a pained smile. “He's alright, Harls.” You whispered and Harry slowly nodded.
You watched as a million thoughts ran past his eyes. You had no clue what Remus and Sirius were on about when they told you how much Harry was like James. You could see Lily's brilliant mind behind those irises, it made you miss her more. It made you yearn to know Harry more. What was going on in his head and what did he want to share.
You had grown closer to him in the few days he's stayed over, you would never want to replace Lily or James for him, but knowing he viewed you as safety was enough. As he leaned further into you, your heart clenched so desperately.
“Harry, think you can show {Y/N} your patronus?” Remus’s voice called over. You turned to face him in slight shock. You narrowed your eyes at him before your eyebrows raised in slight ready realization.
“Oh, uhm.” Harry looked to you, as if seeking your permission. Like there was a world you wouldn't like to see him do it.
“Go on, Harls.” You teased and he smiled softly. Walking over to stand by Remus, you joined them. You ruffled Harry's hair as he raised his wand. It was a bit unsteady at first, you reached down to hold his elbow to keep it up. Remus shooed you away when he noticed how your hovering was making him even more nervous.
You stuck your tongue out at Remus’s smirk but let go of him all the same.
Harry closed his eyes and squinted up his face. You had to stifle a laugh as he began to repeat the motion over and over, as if to familiarize himself with it.
“Expecto Patronum!” He shouted and you watched as light began to leave his wand. He focused, and you watched with a gasp as the blinding blue light left his wand. James and Lily had always been extraordinary, but to watch their child summon a patronus, something they couldn't do at sixteen, at thirteen, just weeks before his fourteenth birthday.
Lily had been right, Harry would be remarkable.
“You're extraordinary, Harry.” You breath and he seemed to light up despite his focus. Looking back at you in a quick glance, watching how you stared in wonder at his stag. He snapped his head around when he heard Remus wave his wand.
“Expecto patronum!” He shouted and watched as his own patronus, a wolf, tumbled form his wand and ran around you three, before up to Harry’s. It responded simply by jumping over him. You laughed before Harry nudged you, a bright smile on his face.
You shook your head fondly and fumbled for your wand.
“Now, I'm a bit rusty.” You hummed and raised your wand. Looking to the boys, up at Remus before down at Harry. You locked eyes, and you saw the most precious people in front of you. Harry, Remus, and Lily. You just needed Sirius, and James to return..
You shook your head to dismiss the idea, before looking back at the lake. You remembered your days with Lily, running down the fields and making her wrestle her diary from your hands. From dances at the ball together, to dances with James and Sirius. How nothing ever changed, how meeting your partners just meant your family grew. This endless love, her fierce protectiveness, her determined passion. How she protected you from everyone, including your family. Your memories of Lily would always be your happiest, a chance meeting that should've lasted a life time. The memories, however, would. Your wand began to spark as you continued to remember your life before.
After a few pathetic attempts, you glanced back at the two. Harry looked a bit worried, but Remus met your eyes.
“Don't marry them.”
You narrowed your own pair at him before glancing down at Harry. You knew. You just knew.
It seemed Remus did too.
“Expecto Patronum!” You shouted, remembering your days with Harry for the past week. Taking him to gather clothes, his insistence on the cheapest and second hand things, his kindness, his adventurous soul. How you watched him and Sirius do the most dangerous broom stunts. His seemingly endless bouts of sass when anyone but you tried to reprimand him, he was so unabashedly quick witted. With the small time you've known him, in the letters you exchanged over the end of the school year and the month after, it was like becoming acquainted with an old friend. You wanted nothing more in this life then to keep him safe. Let him know he was loved.
You watched as your fox tumbled out of your wand. You gasped in delight and Harry laughed as it ran around you three. Bounding weightlessly as it tilted over the lake with the other two. You watched as it lost its shape.
It began to morph and become unrecognizable. You began to wonder if you were loosing your touch, until it spun and flashed brighter then ever before. In place of your little silver fox, grew a beautiful and large deer. A doe. Like Lily's, like James’s, like Harry's.
Remus gave a fond chuckle as the deer walked up to Harry’s and began to dote on it. Licking between its ears, yours moved closer before his disappeared. You looked over at Harry who looked startled.
“I didn't know, patronus could change..” He whispered and looked at you. He seemed even more startled, as you hurried to try and dry your cheeks. Typical, you don't even notice you had been crying. “Sorry, sorry, hun.”
Harry looked to you and back to Remus, who was smiling like mad, his patronus disappearing. “Darling,” He cooed, and you laughed and sniffed.
“I know, I know.” You tried to smile before you looked down at Harry. Your cheeks dimpled and your couldn't help but smile bright at the boy. “It just feels right.”
You wouldn't stay married to your memories, you decided. You would make new ones.
You weren't replacing Lily, you were returning the favor. You were looking after your family.
~~~~
An: I have been working on this chapter for days, I have restarted it five times, I have not proofread it and I am so sorry if it's a mess should I continue these little scenes as chapters or make them blurbs and get back to the actual story?
