#maybe interesting

[idkrn]

Okay so here’s my random &pointless text post for the day because I have no one to share this with and no one would care cause it’s kinda weird??..

So the most common compliment I get is on my eyes, which is great I love my eyes and I love when people take the time to tell me they like them. That’s all groovy gravy. But after awhile I was a little brat and started to hate that compliment because it wasn’t original, I heard (still do hear) it all the time and I was thinking “no way come up with something better! I bet I could!” (((I never told anyone that i was annoyed by that compliment bc I was aware of my bratty-ness))) anyway so I started to think about my physical appearance and really took a notice in my hands. Not just my hands as a whole but my nails, the color of them and the length be shape and how I could never get them to grow out evenly. Along with my fingers, how soft and gentle they look and the lines on my knuckles kinda use to remind me of eyeballs case they were like lemon shaped. Or when I’m holding a pen or squishing play-dough. Like even my palms, and that they’re connecting all my fingers in one place fascinated me. I’m like a child in the sense that now i can find wonder in many seemingly small things and go on and on about them. I like that about myself actually. Okay back to my hands!! Now when I see my hands I think of creativity! I think of building I think of painting and cooking. And the most obvious thing…. Which would be…. Touch!! I can touch people I can wipe their tears, I can wipe my own I can scratch your back I can run my fingers though your hair. I’m a very tactile person and have been since preschool and I’d paint all over my arms and squish the paint in between my fingers and probably sometimes my toes. I love hands and that is my favorite physical thing about me.

Also!!! I love my eyes too and I am not a brat anymore so if ya ever tell me you like my eyes that’s gr8! Love u! And I genuinely appreciate it.

[bbapshinee]

himchan spam is going to start now. I'm sorry in advance for flooding your dash. But it's himchan :D

[bbapshinee]

38 out of 55 blogs. There were so many posts in one blog I've been scrolling through it all day ;__; so it's going to take longer to catch up...

on a side note: I have 531 drafts of B.A.P posts... (and that's going to be more) I'm thinking of doing some mixed small spam/queue, a 'badman' small spam/queue, and maybe some member small spam/queue over the days? Should I put a warning out when I'm going to reblog 'badman' posts from the mv? Since I've read it made/makes some people uncomfortable, and if that's the case you'll be prepared? (idk how to say this differently, but then you can stay clear of my blog or something). Please let me know?

[bbapshinee]

Finished B.A.P - Power step file for step mania/ddr. I only didn't really know what to do with the "warning warning warning warning" part. So I just put steps on the beat. OTL Since going out of the beat frame for medium is a bit... too difficult? I should do that in the heavy version. >.>

If anybody has any suggestions for a song I could do next, please do not hesitate :D

I might actually make a account somewhere where people can download it. maybe. lmao. I first have to find something. So any suggestions for that are welcome too.

[bbapshinee]

I just finished a medium difficulty (stepmania / ddr) step file for the keyboard of B.A.P's One Shot. :D I got so distracted by my tumblr dash though OTL It's nicely playable if I say so myself. I'll be editting it tomorrow into a heavy difficulty one (and maybe an easy one, but it's actually simpler for me to make a difficult one. OTL) Easy will be for the dance mat I have. Maybe I should first make a bunch of B.A.P's songs into step files before venturing into other difficulties. Nice idea.

[bbapshinee]

reading how some Idols got cast for their companies. so many different emotions involved, because some are creepy stories and others are totally cute. Also wondering how just being somewhere gets you casted. OTL I'm crying at the Jonghyun one XD

[bbapshinee]

It's alright if you just say it all in the entry or not. I'll get it either on my dash or in my messages, only those in the entry are more likely to be posted XD

howstrongisyourfight: every game is different and you have to be introduced to the gameplay, which every game does at the beginning, plus you also had to learn how to deal with a controller, he could do it, age is not a factor, not having played previously is also not a factor XD thought it was a natural mens thing :/ pathetic seriously. and plenty of parents game. if he didnt have an interest thats different or if his boat was more important than a console (ok so idk if he had a boat then but whatever) then thats his problem but he doesnt need to use such a bs excuse DX ugh blood boiling lmao.

hmm by saying you can’t change such people you basically dont hold him accountable for being so fucked up? i get it, because really most men arent interested in treating other people as their equals (or well in this case women) but that doesn’t mean he can’t, it just means he won’t because he has his male pride and ego bleh i hate machismo so much @_@ he does need some ass kicking to singlesville >_> men are the worst -_-” and you all deserve better :/

reply: He didn't have a boat back then, he did have a family and a job. idk. He won't say he doesn't have an interest in games, because I think he secretly likes watching us play, but his ego can't take the blow we're good at something he's never tried (or maybe he has and really sucked and doesn't tell us). And I rather not have him play and break the console/controllers we paid for ourselves. I don't even want to play against his sexist/misogynistic ass. 

well, he just pulled a nice one at dinner. We were joking and he called us dumb bitches (domme teefjes) laughing about it as if it's the best joke he could tell. And I just exploded right in his face, calling him a sexist dick and what not. (it sounds so different in Dutch XD) and he got the nerve to get angry at me for cussing him out. I also told my mum I'd rather have my dad with us again than his ass because he's seriously fucked up. My mum said she would talk to him, but yeah. He immediately becomes defensive and if his 'arguments' don't add up right, he explodes in anger. the last time he did I thought he was going to hit my mum tbh...

and the only thing she's really concerned about is the fact he won't let us have a dog (which is also one of the many problems involving him). But she only ever talks about kicking him out if she brings up wanting to have a dog again and he refuses again (because he thinks he has to take care of it and hasn't got any time for himself any more.) He's the one with all the free time in this household and he doesn't do shit.

I sometimes question my mum's priorities. Because if I could I would round house kick his ass out of the house for calling us names all the time. or let's just do it for him existing. That sounds nice.

/seething in anger rn.