Martin’s (initial) feelings for Jon being kind of a repetition compulsion is one of my favorite headcanons of all time. like he’s been going under the radar for years at this point, being liked by his coworkers or, at least, seen as unobtrusive. his mom still hates him, but it’s from a distance now, so the failure feels less palpable. suddenly, though, he’s transferred to a new position that he knows way less about, and he has a boss that actively hates him. it sucks and it’s terrifying and the potential for everything to come crashing down is weighing on him, but doesn’t this all feel familiar? hasn’t he been here before? it’s not a good familiar, but in an odd way the tension in his shoulders from walking on eggshells feels like home. better than home, his boss IS kind of cute, and he knows why he hates him! Martin sucks at his job! he let in a dog on his first day! and it peed on the floor! so this time maybe there’s a chance! if he could just write that one report correctly, or make the perfect cup of tea, or get just the right piece of information from an interviewee maybe Jon WON’T hate him. maybe he CAN prove himself. maybe he ISN’T inherently unlovable. and who knows if any of this is conscious or not, but somewhere in the back of his mind something tells him that Jon is someone worth trying for even when he is actively wishing harm upon him. maybe even BECAUSE he’s actively wishing harm upon him.
