#mcd incorrect quotes

[fruitcakebro]

How the kidnapping at the Werewolf castle actually happened.

DM: This bossfight is going to be awesome. Aphmau's getting kidnapped again.

Laurance: Again? This is like, the fifth time.

DM: Well, then you're ALL getting kidnapped this time.

Katelyn: Fuck.

DM: I have the coolest bossfight planned ever, against the evil king who kidnapped you on the roof of the castle.

Laurance: Wait, on the roof?

DM: ...yes?

Laurance: Open to air?

DM: ...yes?

Laurance: My character's Shadowknight form has a movement speed of 45 feet per turn.

DM: Yes?

Laurance: And don't I have resistance to physical damage in that form? And if I get knocked out of it, I get lowered to one hitpoint but I don't die?

DM: I'm not sure I like where this is going...

Laurance: What if I just grab this guy and jump off the roof. Boom. Fight's over.

DM:

DM: >:(

Aphmau: Telling them your plans to derail their bossfight maybe isn't the best-

DM: And just like that, the guards are all Werewolves. So they can move fast enough to intercept you.

Laurance: Fuck.

[somnas-writes]

Garroth: if you get in a fight, which comes out first; the divine warrior in you or the Phoenix drop in you?

Aphmau: the gun, bitch

[y0urlittl3ang3l]

Jeffory: So…I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Laurance recently.

Garroth: No, Jeffory, it’s not what it looks like, I swear.

Jeffory: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Garroth: No! You’re the only one for me!

Jeffory: Is that so?

Garroth: I promise! Laurance and I are just dating, okay? He’s my husband.

Jeffory: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Garroth: You are still my one and only best friend! He’s just the love of my life, nothing more!

Jeffory: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Garroth: Of course bro!

Jeffory: Bro…

Laurance: What the-

[fruitcakebro]

Shadowknights have glow-in-the-dark eyes like deer. Garroth found this out while theywere travelling by night quite a bit while trying to catch up with Aph during the Malachi arc.

But after they caught up, they stopped travelling by night because Malachi needed to sleep. So Dante didn't find out.

Until months later, in the guard tower.

Laurance left something downstairs by accident, and went down to get it in the middle of the night. Dante was just about to leave on night patrol when he sees Laurance out of the corner of his eye and just fucking screams at top volume.

Garroth then tumbles out of bed and SPRINTS downstairs, because he's thinking like, 'oh shit, we're being attacked'. But then he gets there and just sees Dante with his back up against the door, and Laurance just standing there holding a bag or something.

Garroth then looks around and asks if everything's okay. To which Dante responds "How long have his eyes been doing that? How can he do that?" and then Garroth's like "How the fuck should I know? How does Laurance do anything?" and just leaves.

Laurance is of course, standing there giggling the entire time.

[fruitcakebro]

*Bridge scene after the baby shower*

Zane: So what happened to your eyes?

Laurance: 'If your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away', and your brother's ass was speaking to me in the most sinful of ways.

Aphmau, Garroth, Zane, and the two guards: *horrified silence*

[fruitcakebro]

*Right after Laurance was rescued from the nether*

Cadenza: I'm going to have to cut your hair pretty short if you want it even. Whoever gotcha down there messed it up pretty good.

Laurance: What??? Oh, for fuck's sake! Take my eyes if you must, but leave my hair alone you fucker! Why did it have to be the hair?

Cadenza: Wha- THAT'S what you're most upset about? Not being blinded, or the burns everywhere? Your fucking hair?

Laurance: Of what's available to focus on, yes. Yes I'd really like to go with that.

[fruitcakebro]

*Ro'meave brothers reunion, + a bunch of other people*

Vylad: I feel like it's time we at least try to make amends. I think we can say we've all made mistakes. I mean, Garroth started a war and succession crisis through his absense, Zane both directly and indirectly perpetuated genocide, I shot Brendon and thought it was a good idea to follow Gene...

Zane: Because those are entirely comperable.

Brendon: Wait, that was you?

Vylad: In my defence, I was aiming for Zenix.

Laurance: Well, while it's horrible confessions night. We didn't just escape from the werewolve's castle, I lost control of my shadow form and masserced at least 50 people at the wedding reception.

*Horrified silence*

Cadenza: Well, I guess maybe it's time to come clean about the fact that I have fire Magicks that I didn't know about until about 3 years ago, and they almost certainly caused the fire that killed both my and Laurance's parents.

Garroth: I caused Zane's blind eye by hitting him with a snowball that had a rock in it.

Kenmur: I was going to say I had a crush on Laurance when we were kids, but that seems insignificant now.

Emmalyn: I lied about what Lady Aphmau's name meant when I named her, and I never said anything afterward because it seemed like a bad idea to say. It doesn't actually mean 'Chosen of the Lady', it means 'insomniac' in old tongue, and 'unwanted child' in Wyvern.

Garroth, Aphmau, Vylad, and Brendon in unison: WHAT??

Emmalyn: She was always waking me up at night, and I didn't want her in my library.

Vylad: Tonight is taking a bit of an unexpected turn.

Brendon: ...I stepped on one of Kiki's hamsters, and then lied and said it got run over by a cart.

Aphmau: Okay maybe we should all just go home now to process.

[fruitcakebro]

Garroth coming out as trans to Laurance.

Garroth: Can I trust you with something... Important?

Laurance: You had your tongue in my mouth five minutes ago, if you can't that's a problem on my part.

Garroth(trying not to laugh): I- Well, alright, I just mean that it's... Maybe bad?

Laurance: Oh Irene, who did you kill?

Garroth: Why is that your first thought-? No, I mean I'm not... Exactly as I seem.

Laurance: I know you like romance novels, Garroth.

Garroth: No! That's not what I- Oh for Irene's sake, I give up.

Laurance: No, now I need to know.

Garroth: *sigh*

Garroth: Well... It's just that there's a reason you didn't hear about Garte Ro'meave having a missing son.

Laurance: I knew it! You're an affair baby!

Garroth: ...no. But my youngest brother was. No, I mean that, um... Well, to the best of his knowledge, I was his... Daughter.

Laurance:

Laurance: ...he has memory and/or sight problems..?

Garroth: No.

Laurance:

Laurance: OH

Laurance: Huh. Cool. So like, you used to be a girl?

Garroth: ...close enough.

Laurance: So I guess you could say-

Laurance: You're a self-made man?

Garroth: Well, at least this isn't the reaction I was worried about.