#mea lore

[zkylearnstherope]

When the mod is not looking...

Just kidding, he's there. I am not that naughty.

Also, that is a nice color for the bi flag. Whoever came up with that has my nod of approval.

[omegastation]

So yesterday we started reading the MEA codex. Here’s the link to our Discord if you're interested, don’t hesitate to join! I thought I would make several posts about what we discussed (and by we, I mean @homoryder, @silentstephi, @nerdyholler and me)

I'll start with the characters and some questions or reflections we had.

-Ryder: We were interested in the Alliance's attitude toward the Ryder siblings. Alec's research got him discharged but it also ruined his children's career. @silentstephi said it made it sound like the family was tainted forever, which is a bit wtf. @homoryder was wondering if the Ryders could have eventually overcome it the way Ash did. -Kallo: I wondered if Parohe Aerospace warned Garson against recruiting him "so fervently" for a reason other than wanting to keep him around. -Cora: Codex gives us a nice insight into the asari huntresses. The records are sealed for 5000 years, which is... a lot of time as @homoryder pointed out.  It's also worth noting that Cora's superior biotic talents was seen as a liability by the Alliance (to me it means they still don't really know how to handle powerful biotics and don't have good training for them). I also wonder why Cora’s service number was included in her entry. No other character has information that specific? -Suvi: @homoryder was the one who caught the part about her being "headhunted by a black-ops organization for a classified biomedical project": it's likely Cerberus wanted her for the Project Lazarus and she said no. Just think about it: we could have had Suvi and Miranda working together!!! -Liam: his entry gives us a lot of information about, well, law and order. His parents specialized in "interplanetary policy law": I would think it means human law across all planets (colonies included? no idea) while galactic law is linked to Citadel space. Would love to get your opinion on this.  -Ellen: Codex talks about "neuro-integrated wetware", it would mostly mean the brain linked to artificial systems. Thought process would be compared to computer systems. -SAM: Alec encouraged SAM to write their own entry. 

[zkylearnstherope]

Guess who just developed weakness against cheese.

But I love cheese!

And milk too!

(T∆T )

Goddamn it!

Thankfully, I can still consume milk products, but just half the amount that I used to.

Cheese on the other hand... Any amount makes my tummy ache.

Will this stop me? Probably not.

[zkylearnstherope]

I lied. I can't take it at all.

Content Warning: Depression, self-reflection.

Another depression phase.

I learned something about myself today. This is probably the third time I did it. Turns out I manipulate the situation to make people hurt me when I am at my lowest. All because I needed a reason to cry.

I am forever stuck in a night storm where I am not even allowed to express any discomfort. So I only feel like I have the right to cry, when I am about to burst. This is not a healthy mindset, I know.

Still, I can't believe that there are people who are this nice around me. Even though we're countries apart, and you don't know how I look like IRL. You guys are still nice to me.

F*ck! I can't believe I am crying again. How sad am I really? I'm not good at taking care of myself.

Looking back on these past few days, I had the signs of another depression phase. I started to talk weirdly. I wasn't eating or drinking water, resulting in an intense headache and a nosebleed. This body's way to cry for help.

I guess, I wanted attention too, but it just left me more empty each time.

I am not allowed, but I want to have nice things too. And I just want someone to love me, when I hate myself.

I don't know why I'm posting this all in here. I don't know how to make myself feel better. I know meds exist but- I just don't know- I have bad brain chemicals.

Am I still crying? Yes. Do I feel slightly better after typing this? Also yes.

[zkylearnstherope]

Totally not me ------ ------- -- -- -----.

Why? I have no idea.

But the thing is, - ----'- ---- ------- -- ---.

. . .

I have no idea why either.

Hmm... ------- - -- --- ----- ---...

Is that even possible?

--- -- -- ---------- ------ ----. ---- -- --- --- ------.

I hope --- -----’- --- --- ---- ---- ----.

We are here now.

Exactly.

. . .

--- ----... Agreed.