The problem with the romanticization.
Please take a moment to read, as this is an important topic to me, and it would mean a lot <3
As some of you may know, I am a big believer in tearing down the romanticization of abusive, obsessive, toxic, or manipulative behaviour.
I want to say right at the beginning of this post, I am not a psychologist and while I have done a decent amount of research I am also nowhere near a professional. This is just my opinion.
I'm making this post, not with the intent of shaming others or casting hate on anyone who makes content that may fall into this category, but with the hope of making more people simply aware of this idea, so they themselves can come to their own conclusion and opinion.
It is also important for me to point out the scale of what is considered abusive behaviour, especially in this context, is beyond vast, and is strongly individualistic due to its direct relation to one's moral beliefs. Everyone has told a lie, but one lie doesn't make you a manipulative person. The question then becomes how many lies can a person get away with before it is considered manipulative? Ultimately, these are conclusions you'll have to come to on your own, as there is no definitive answer and usually has to be considered situationally, and not as a whole.
My problem is not at all with the creation of this content, nor its creators, but the ideology and labelling of it as "normal", "healthy" or even "sexy", instead of making note of its impacts.
The concern is, when abusive behaviour is put in a positive light, readers may start to view the behaviour itself, as a whole, as positive.
That doesn't mean every aspect of a positive relationship has to be perfect, in fact, that would be arguably just as damaging. No relationship, romantic or otherwise, will be perfect because nobody is perfect. Good characters will and should always have flaws.
The solution is not in avoiding making or consuming this content, but I believe it's in increasing your own critical thinking.
I'd like to highly, HIGHLY, recommend this article, and ask you to read, or even just skim it. They do an amazing job explaining things simply, way better than I could do, and highlighting why this is even a problem in the first place. It isn't very long, don't worry.
https://www.dvsn.org/february-2021-the-romanticizing-of-domestic-violence-in-literature/
Whether you are a consumer or a creator of any type of media, I think you'd benefit from this food for thought as a way to encourage your critical thinking of the media relationships portrayed around or by you.
I'd also like to link to the video that first opened me up to this idea at all, and it does a great job highly just how toxic "Twilight" is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgpY9nCo43k&t=5s
Plus I'd like to include the video I was watching today that prompted this post at all, which deals with the psychopathy test, and the idea that we are building a society that encourages these personality traits, but also the problem with the stigma and way the idea of "psychopath" is portrayed in media.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRN8MSkByeQ&t=2s
Finally, it would really mean a lot to have this reblogged around, especially if your blog deals with younger audiences. Even a like and comment to help feed the algorithm is really appreciated <3
Also, if I tagged you in the comments, it's not at all because I am accusing you of doing this, but instead either because your my friend and I'd like to share something that's important to me with you and perhaps get your opinion, or I simply think you'd find it interesting.
