I knew it was too good to last
I knew it. I fucking knew it.
Yesterday I actually felt pretty good. I was productive. I wrote two chapters of a new fic. I did dishes, and laundry, and put away the kiddo’s toys and vacuumed his room. I even made dinner.
I didn’t even have to take painkillers all day. Do you know how rare that is?
But then. My husband woke me up an hour or two after we’d gone to bed to cuddle. We’ve not had any time together in ages. It was nice - for like... 15 minutes. And then I could feel my nerves switch into overdrive. I could feel this... fizzing traveling around my body, starting in my neck and going down my spine and then down my arms and legs. My skin got oversensitive. My joints all seized up.
My husband got up to put the kiddo back to sleep, and when he returned I couldn’t move. At all. My arms and legs were frozen. He eventually managed to help me sit up, and my arms and legs and hands and feet were all twisted at weird angles, and my back hurt excruciatingly badly trying to support me. And it felt like jolts of electricity were running up and down my arms and legs and back, and my hands and arms and back were spasming and jerking. Kind of like a seizure, I guess, but not exactly?
If you’ve seen photos of Stephen Hawking, and how his limbs are all twisted at funny angles - yeah. That’s pretty much what I looked like. It was excruciating trying to walk to the bathroom. I almost fell over several times. My joints were all red and hot and swollen. My elbows were dug into my ribs, and my fingers splayed out in odd directions on one hand, and all smashed together into a claw on the other. I couldn’t lift my arms or legs without enough force to leave me shaking.
Now, It could have been a migraine. Maybe I would have slept through that part if he hadn’t woken me up. My feet *had* been feeling a bit too heavy as I went to bed, so it’s not like I wasn’t kinda expecting one. I also had some chest pain before bed, but that’s pretty normal for me too. I’ve been recovering from a nasty cold. I have asthma - and I vacuumed the kiddo’s room. I also get chest pain from anxiety / with panic attacks.
Or it could have been that my migraine doc changed one of my meds yesterday because she didn’t feel like the one I was on was helping enough.
Or it could have been a flare of fibromyalgia or guillan barre. I’ve had this before - not this bad in more than a year, but I have had it.
Or it could be some mysterious nervous system illness that my docs haven’t been able to figure out. MS has been considered, and RA and lupus and oh, loads of things. But my tests have come back normal/negative, and the symptoms come and go, and usually go by the time I manage to see a doctor, so no one has really pursued it.
I managed to go back to sleep, after taking aleve, tylenol, imitrex, and hydroxyzine to calm my nervous system the fuck down. This morning my joints (knuckles, knees, elbows, shoulders, wrists) are swollen and red and hot and stiff and it aches to move them. Typing is actually pretty painful. My back hurts really bad if I straighten it, so I’m sitting hunched over (and if I stand up I sorta stoop, but I’m too weak/shaky to stand anyway). My ears and cheeks are glowing bright red and hot. my skin is sorta itchy/crawly.
There’s really no point to this except to whine, so... feel free to ignore. Or chime in if you’ve any idea what the fuck is wrong with me.
@ryanthedemiboy - This is what happens when I dare to say that I’ve had a mostly-good day. I feel like I must have scorned the gods yesterday or something.
