Maybe The Meds Are Working
I used to think needing medication meant I was broken.
Like my brain was defective.
Like if I just tried harder, if I journaled more, meditated better, stayed busy enough, I could fix myself without help.
But I did try. I tried for years.
And it wasn’t enough.
I was a mess before I got on the right combination of meds.
I was always sad. I couldn’t get out of bed.
Every thought I had was negative.
Everything felt heavy.
I couldn’t do anything.
I was paralyzed emotionally, mentally, physically.
I was stuck inside a body that wouldn’t move and a mind that wouldn’t shut up.
It took over five years of trial and error.
Five years of starting something new, feeling hopeful, then crashing again.
Five years of wondering if it would ever get better.
But now, I think I’m finally on the right mix.
And I feel it.
I can wake up and show up every day.
I can function without shaking with anxiety.
I can stay organized, focus, complete tasks, things that used to feel impossible.
I can sleep.
And that alone feels like a miracle.
My meds didn’t change who I am.
They brought me back to who I was underneath the chaos.
They made it possible for me to be present in my own life again.
I know there’s still a stigma.
People treat medication like a last resort, like a weakness, like a crutch.
But I think you should ignore the taboo.
If it’s right for you, take it.
If it helps you stay alive, if it helps you heal, if it gives you even one more good day, it’s worth it.
Maybe the meds are working.
And maybe that’s not weakness.
Maybe that’s what strength really looks like.
-Moxie Thorne
