#mid-night thoughts

[xhanzoxr]

Almost a year

Almost a year ago I found Gorillaz – Feel Good.

Today, I found it again.

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[problematicpsyco-blog]

what if's and maybe

What if he really is not a blessing to me? What if God actually want me to suffer beacause of what I did in the past? I know that Im not the nicest person in the world nor the worst, but I know that Im mostly bad. Maybe God wanted me to fall in love with him then break my heart and make me suffer big time.And when that time comes I'll be here crying my heart out.

[definitelynotindecisive]

I don’t like to be myself around people I admire or people who I consider to be friends, because I’m afraid that once they truly see me, they won’t want to know me...

[theunknownunstableintrovert]

I'm getting bored...

[mezzointhemiddle]

i'm still waiting for that day when everything makes sense and i don't have to question myself or anyone anymore. 

[wemuht]

Easy is overdone.

If life was easy...we'd all be better off but in actuality, we struggle as the days go by. Some people have it good, others don't. When i hear people say that "i don't have to worry about college cause my family is rich" well thats great, really, but i don't think they realize that everyone doesn't have it like that. Many have to earn their money&actually work their tails off to get what they need and want. People who are nothing but materialistic drive me insane...it's always with the constant bragging of what they have or what they are about to get...man just shut the hell up, no one cares. But hey, we're all entitled to our opinions right? 

[marioexpress-blog]

I want to quit the Math Team. I'm not help in it. I made myself the leader without votes, but I'm not the smartest? I don't know the most. I'm not benefiting the team in any way. I really don't think I should be in it anymore. I tried helping, but I'm no good. I'm bad at math, just like I'm bad at everything else. I can't even do basic math on the top of my head, like I should be able to. I can't subtract 23 from 82. But I don't know. I'll give it a few more weeks, I guess. If I can't improve into a better leader, then I shouldn't even be in the math team.

[marioexpress-blog]

I hate when people point out my flaws, especially my flaws I've been trying to deal with for a while. Like seriously. I didn't ask you about your opinion. I have fucked up teeth, but I have braces to fix that, alright? I've had these teeth ever since I was playing football and my brother stiffed armed me, when I was little. You don't think I look in the mirror every day thinking of how I would look like if I had perfect teeth like everyone else? I've started breaking out since the very end of 4th grade. I decided to grow bangs for that very reason. I spent my life trying not to move my bangs. To keep it in place, to hide my acne, so people won't make fun of me. I sat there while they made fun of some other kid who had acne worst than mine, but I didn't want to be put on the lime light. I never ran, unless it was sprinting, AWAY from people. If it was toward, I'd run for a quick second, stop and fix my hair. People thought I was worried about my eyebrows. I let them assume. In 6th and 7th grade I didn't talk because I was worried about my teeth. I didn't want to get made fun of, because I moved away to a new school, even though I barely got comfortable at my old school. They thought I was worried about my voice. I let them assume. 8th grade I was able to not care what anyone thinks, I had a new beginning, a another new school. I changed myself, with the help of my best friend. I'm in 9th grade right now. You really had the need to point out my flaws. My gums look demented right now, because I'm fixing my teeth. That is like going up to someone who is paralyzed to the waist down, and saying "What is up with your legs?" They can't do shit to change it. What are they suppose to do/say? They never asked to be like that. Then you point out "Oh you have a lot of acne under your bangs." Um...Excuse me. First of all, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Second of all. SHUT THE FUCK UP. and third of all, I didn't fucking ask you about my appearance. I can honestly say your my friend and shit, but you don't fucking going around and saying shit like that. I can point out many things on many people. But I clearly only point out things on their personality, BEHIND THEIR BACK. You know why? Cause then I won't start any sort or problems, AND because THEY CAN CHANGE THEIR PERSONALITY! You can't change your appearance in a snap. If you could, everyone would be skinny. If you could, everyone will have perfect skin. If you could, everyone would have silky soft hair. If you have noticed, I stopped putting you on the spot. Shit man, I even stopped talking to you in class. Yet your going to do that shit to me, when I actually do communicate with you during class. Getting mad is for children. Mature people can turn things into something positive. But fuck it. Everyone is a kid at heart.