𝐓𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐒
IN WHICH It’s their biggest show yet. The biggest crowd, the biggest expectations. He shouldn’t be nervous, he’s done this many times before but somehow, it still manages to get to him. The Midnight Menagerie needs to be perfect in order to fool their audience, that’s the first rule of the circus. Don’t mess up. Stay perfect. But one wrong move and it all….dies.
When Seungcheol’s performance goes wrong, leaving him with a serious leg injury, he worries for the circus’s future more than his own well-being. There are many ways The Midnight Menagerie could react and even more ways his career could end. But when he finds himself in the arms of a young med student, all his worries seem to disappear in the blink of an eyes.
pairing ↣ human cannonball!scoups x nurse student!fem!reader
genre ↣ fluff, smut
word count ↣ 17k
contains ↣ mentions of dead, injury, age gap (he is 30, she's 22), hospital setting, the circus is sketchy, they might or might not be fated mates, simp!cheol, cheating ex, cheol has fwb with someone else, nicknames
warnings ↣ biting/marking, unprotected sex, fingering, mentions of reader being on birth control
izzy speaks » ahhh it's here!! I'm so so happy to be able to take part in this collab along side all these great authors! They are all truly amazing so please check out their fics in The Midnight Menagerie collab @camandemstudios organized for us! <3 Also a big thank you to @belovedgyu for helping with proofreading the first half and as always to @filmsbyun because yun keeps me motivated at any times and is an amazing friend. Another thing I want to note is please, be aware I'm no medical student and so some things are probably iffy/wouldn't necessary work irl so just pretend they do lolll
“I’ve never seen anything bigger.”
Seungcheol frowns, instantly regretting joining this conversation. “Please, think before you speak,” he says, buttoning the rest of his shirt. Mingyu, one of his closest friends, tilts his head confusedly, trying to figure out what he said wrong. His expression changes when he goes over the conversation in his head again, a scoff leaving his lips. “You’re gross, you know that? I was obviously talking about the audience.”
“You’re gross,” Cheol laughs, shaking his head. “And anyways, you’re probably exaggerating. The tent can only fit in as many people, and I’ve heard you say the same thing on every stop in the last few towns.”
“Okay, maybe I did say that before but I’m never lying!” Mingyu argues, plopping down on Cheol’s couch, making himself at home as if his own tent wasn’t just a few feet away. “They are trying to squeeze everyone in but they might have to send some people away and ask them to come tomorrow instead. I’m telling you, the entire town is here.”
The entire town. It’s far from Cheol’s first performance, heck, he’s been doing this ever since he left college, so why is it that the more Mingyu talks about the amount of people who have come to see him, the more nervous he gets? It’s been years. Years of hard practice, of making sure everything was up to perfection, and years of hearing people’s claps after his performance ends. Yet, every time it feels like the first.
“There’s no way the two of you are still not ready.” Seungcheol turns around upon hearing the familiar voice, a smile on his face as he raises his hands in defence. “I’ve been telling him to get ready,” Mingyu proclaims as he jumps up from the couch, patting his friend’s back as he walks past him. “Good luck tonight, Joohee.”
“To you too,” she smiles as she watches him leave the tent, finally focusing all her attention on the man she came to see. “Hi.” — “Hey,” he greets her back, crossing the tent in a few steps and pressing his lips to hers. “I need to go back in a bit, I’m on right after the acrobats,” she whispers but does nothing to pull back. “I need to finish getting ready too,” he nods, taking a step back.
“I’m kind of nervous,” Joohee admits and Cheol shakes his head. There’s probably a lot he could say to reassure her but it feels so silly having to do that. Joohee has joined the circus only a few months ago but she’s proven herself every performance all over again. Joshua has always been a great magician, fooling whoever he pleases while barely trying, but ever since Joohee joined, their performance has been more than unbelievable. There’s nothing she could be nervous about. She’s an amazing magician.
“We both know you’ll do amazing,” he finally answers. “Will you reward me if I do?” She bats her lashes at him, already knowing what he’ll say. “If you don’t find another lost soul to use up to your liking.” Joohee rolls her eyes at his comment, but she can’t promise him that she won’t.
In the eyes of the other performers it might seem like Cheol and Joohee have been serious ever since she joined, but if there is one thing they are serious about, it’s relieving their needs. They might be spending a lot of nights in each other’s arms but that doesn’t change the fact they’d never choose each other if they haven’t met the way they did.
Her smile softens a bit as she presses his palm to his chest. “Break a leg. I’ll see you later.” He nods, looking down at where her palm rests. A part of him wants to pull her closer, whisper sweet nothings to her and act like they don’t have any responsibilities, but the rational part in him tells him to push her away and lock her out before it’s too late. Because while both of them know there’s never going to be anything between them, it’s been harder for Cheol to find a girl he’d want to spend the night with after meeting her and it’s scaring him. “I’ll see you later.”
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
This really is their biggest crowd yet. Cheol’s eyes widen as he takes in the sight of all the people watching, all the people who are going to watch him in just a few minutes. Everyone has their expectations when they come watch a show and more people means more expectations he should meet. He swallows a lump in his throat, quickly turning around and trying to find a bottle of water for himself. His throat is dry, his nerves building up with each second that passes.
He’s done this a thousand times before and he’s never messed up, so why should he now? There’s no logical explanation to it but it feels like, for some reason, tonight’s the night. The night he finally slips up and proves to everyone he isn’t as good as they think he is. Just one wrong move and he’ll disappoint everyone. The audience, his boss, his colleagues.
He can’t let that happen.
“They say those who fly too close to the stars never return the same. Watch now, as our next performer steals your hearts along with your breath—Scoups!” The ringmaster’s voice is loud but the crowd even louder. The sound rings in Cheol’s ears as he comes forward, feeling all the eyes on him in an instant. He presses his palm to his heart and bows, a grin on his face despite his heart racing faster than it has ever before.
He turns his back to the crowd, meeting eyes with Joohee on the sidelines as she winks at him. He gives her a brief nod before walking toward the cannonball. Silence erupts the tent as he gets into his position, left with nothing but his own thoughts again. “Three!” He closes his eyes, imagining a perfect land and the crowd’s cheers. “Two!” A familiar drum roll starts from the side and he is ready. He’s got this. He just needs to land on his feet, it doesn’t matter how perfect his landing pose is. “One!”
It’s always faster than he can comprehend. But this time, for a single second, he registers being in the air. He’s higher than he’s used to. He doesn’t have time to think too much about it, though, pushing his hand forward to add to the flying effect.
But the illusion comes crashing down again when he lands. Right behind the safety net.
Fuck.
“Someone call for help!” “What the fuck happened?” “Get Jihoon here, we need help carrying him out!” The voices blend together as a loud noise beeps in his ears, making him unable to focus on anything. He wants to scream, yell from the pain he feels in his entire body but he can’t. Nothing comes out.
“Shit, let’s get him up. Someone do something about the crowd! Hurry!”
When his vision finally comes into focus, Mingyu and Jihoon are on his side, helping him out. “What the fuck happened there?” Mingyu asks, glancing at his close friend, his eyes full of worries. “I’d love to know as well,” Jihoon mumbles back, unsure what to do as he carries the man out.
“The– The show—” Cheol’s voice breaks, a loud groan leaving his lips as he tries to step on his foot. Agony spreads through his entire body, feeling like someone crushed his leg, played volleyball with it for fun, and then connected it back to his hips. “The show is over. We need to get you to the hospital.” No. The show can’t be over. His jump– His head spins again, barely holding up despite having the help of two men.
This can’t be how it ends. Their biggest show. God, what the fuck? He did everything as he should, there were five people checking the cannon before the show started, so how is it possible everything went down in the blink of an eye?
“Joshua!” Mingyu yells when he sees him rushing to them. “Find Joohee. She should go with him. Is the ambulance here yet?”
“No,” Cheol chokes out immediately, making all three glance at him. “No Joohee. There’s no need.” Mingyu frowns. “You can’t be pushing her away now, who knows what you broke there. She’ll help.” He shakes his head, too worn out to argue now but still standing by his decision. There’s no need to have her there. All she’d do is flirt with his doctors and he certainly doesn’t need to have that on his plate on top of everything else.
“I don’t know where she disappeared to, anyway,” Joshua shakes his head, getting Mingyu’s attention again. “The ambulance should be on its way but in the meantime, there was a nurse in the crowd that saw everything. They led her to Scoups’ tent, so meet her there. Hopefully she’ll help.”
“This really couldn’t get any worse,” Jihoon mumbles as he scans the panicked crowd outside. A few of their people are there, trying to calm them down, but it’s not doing much. “Hey,” Mingyu hisses. “It’ll be fine. Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“The thing you do—”
“Shut up,” Cheol groans. It’s all too loud. He can’t wait to get out. Anywhere, really. As long as he is far away from his boss and the consequences he’ll have to deal with. “Sorry,” Mingyu mumbles, shutting his mouth again and not saying anything until they reach the tent.
“I’m not sure if I can be any helpful,” the female voice greets them as soon as they step inside, their eyes landing on one of the acrobats towering over a young girl as he tries to convince her to stay. “Please,” Mingyu interrupts them. “Whatever you can do.”
“Oh god,” you breathe out when you notice the three men. It looks worse up close than you could even imagine. “Lay him down. Quickly,” your voice is panicked as you watch them do as you say, the thousands of medical pages you’ve read spinning in your head. “I don’t– he needs to see a doctor. This is—” You eye his dirty suit, your eyes widening when you see blood covering his knee. “What do we do?” The tallest of the three presses and you feel less and less confident you can do anything to help.
“The–The blood. We need to… cut the fabric off and see how bad it is. Then– fuck– strangle the leg and stop the bleeding. And keep him awake. He could have seriously hurt himself, skull fracture or– he can go unconscious any minute so…so try talking to him.”
Cheol bites his bottom lip, trying to keep the sounds in and not show just how painful it is when Jihoon grabs his leg and tears the fabric apart. He closes his eyes, unable to look down and see what state he’s in. “Shit,” you curse again when you see just how bruised up his leg is. You can only imagine how the rest of his body looks like. “Hey,” you snap your fingers in front of his face, getting him to look at you. “How many fingers am I holding up?” He blinks confusedly at first before your hand comes into focus, rasping out the number three.
“What’s your name?” You question, ignoring the way your voice trembles as you try to stay strong. You’re not ready yet. You’re not even out of school yet and you can confidently say they never taught you what to do when a man shoots himself out of a cannonball and lands on the ground, possibly breaking half of the bones in his body.
“Seungcheol,” he answers after a second. You nod, telling him your name back. “I barely have any idea what I’m doing so be patient with me,” you give him a soft smile before glancing at his leg again, watching the guys try to stop his bleeding. “Do you remember what happened out there? Or what day it is?”
“It’s uhm…” he tilts his head slightly, his eyebrows furrowing in pain. “Tuesday. The twenty eighth.”
“Great,” you nod, hoping your smile is reassuring enough. “I’ve heard it’s normal for men to only answer the last question they’re asked so it looks like you didn’t hit your head. Not hard enough anyway.” His lips curve into a smile, his chuckle turning into a cough. “Oh, oh, careful,” a wave of worry rushes across your face as you look at him, your eyes widening. “Just hold on a little longer, we’ll get you to a real doctor soon.”
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
“You’re a lucky man, Mr. Choi.”
Seungcheol blinks at the screen as he stares at the damage caused. Broken ribs and leg and his entire body covered in bruises. He knows it could have ended a lot worse but if he’s honest, that doesn’t make him feel any better. He won’t be able to move properly for who knows how long, meaning working is off the table. He’s screwed.
If he doesn’t think about the fact he’s not sure how he’ll get money after his savings run out, on top of that he has to deal with what his boss will say about the fuck-up. Technically, it wasn’t even his fault. All he has to worry about is being shot into the air. Other than that, he doesn’t do anything. Operating the cannonball is not his work.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the thoughts of what his Boss will say haunt him when he closes his eyes. Back when he started, replacing his own mentor after he died in a failed performance, rumors started that it wasn’t an accident at all. What if this was also planned? What if he was meant to fall behind the safety net and hurt himself? Even worse, what if they are now pissed it didn’t go the way they wanted?
“I wouldn’t say that,” Cheol mumbles, looking down into his lap. “You survived. And if you ask me, that is very lucky after a fall like that,” the doctor smiles at him one last time before walking out of the hospital room, leaving him alone with his thoughts again.
He closes his eyes, trying to think about the good things. But the more he tries, the more he realizes there really isn’t anything. How is he supposed to think happy when his life just fell apart in one night? One single night, one wrong move, and all of a sudden he is bound to a hospital bed, with no idea when, and if, he’ll be able to perform again.
The memory of the night comes flashing back, his vision blurry as he gets into the cannonball, signalling that he is ready before the air hits his face and he feels like flying. He remembers Joohee on the sides, cheering him on. And he also remembers their earlier conversation in his tent, her wishing him to break a leg. Fuck. Would it be so crazy to think the circus’ magician cursed him right before his performance?
It probably is crazy. He is going insane in this hospital and it’s barely been a day. God, he doesn’t want to see the state he’ll be in in a week or so if he is already thinking about stuff like this.
“Shit, is he asleep?” Cheol opens his eyes upon hearing the familiar voice, meeting eyes with Chan standing in the front. “And now you woke him up,” Mingyu shakes his head, stepping forward to greet his friend. Cheol smiles, saying his greetings and looking at his two friends. But there is something else that catches his eyes. The legs of a pretty woman. His eyes trail up your body, a soft grin spreading on his lips when he meets your eyes. “The nurse from last night.”
“I’m not a nurse,” you shake your head, stepping forward. “I’ve been telling everyone in the circus on repeat, when will you guys understand?”
“She came by to ask how you were doing and if her trying to help didn’t make your condition worse so we said we’ll bring her with us so she can see on her own,” Mingyu explains, taking a seat on a chair right beside Cheol’s bed. He nods, barely looking at his friend as he takes the sight of you in. Now that he actually perceives his surroundings and sees properly, you are quite beautiful.
“I’m alive so you probably didn’t mess up too bad,” he teases, creating a smile on your face as you roll your eyes. “Maybe my professors will let me off if I tell them I saved your life and am ready to work,” you joke, feeling like the biggest winner when he actually chuckles. You watch Mingyu and Chan exchange a glance, your mood shifting when you think about them perceiving you. “Anyway, I just wanted to check and see if I’m not a killer, not bother you and your friends so I’m going to go,” you say, your cheeks flush as your eyes flicker between the three men in the room.
“It’s fine,” Cheol shakes his head. “It’s not a bother. I’ve been going crazy with only my thoughts in this white room,” he laughs quietly even though it’s far from a joke. “You can stay if you want.”
“I need to study,” you shake your head, giving him an apologetic smile. You’re not sure why, it’s not like you own him anything, any of your time. But a part of you feels like you are supposed to stay, talk with him, and enjoy his presence. “Maybe I’ll stop by another day. To see if you’re still breathing.”
“Feel free to,” he nods, his eyes never leaving you as you walk out of the room. It’s when you shut the door behind you that you hear Mingyu’s voice again, leaving the hospital with the fact that they tried to bring someone named Joohee with as well but she thought it’d be weird.
Maybe if you were thinking straight you’d take it as a sign to take a step back and not show up again, but for some reason, looking at Scoups makes you lose all your self control because no matter what you just heard, you want to come by even more, just to see his pretty eyes again.
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
There’s something that draws you to The Midnight Menagerie. It might be the mysteries behind it, the rumors that follow wherever it goes, or maybe it’s the handsome man you met a year ago when they were in a different town.
Back then, it was your friend, an aspiring journalist that made you come along with her. She was writing a story about the circus, hoping to figure out the secrets behind it, but you honestly couldn’t care less about that. You were failing two classes at that time and a night out was just a way to escape the reality of it all.
But then you saw him, his broad shoulders, messy hair, and eyes you could easily get lost in. You watched his performance, a loud gasp leaving your lips when you saw him flying in the air after being shot from a cannonball. When he landed and sent a kiss to the crowd you were already long lost, your eyes searching for him the rest of the night.
The circus disappeared the next day, as if it never existed, and you began to wonder if you hadn’t just dreamt of all that. It would make sense, in what world would you recklessly fall for a man you’ve only seen for a few minutes while he was working in a circus? It was all too far from what you’ve always imagined for yourself.
You convinced yourself it never happened, that The Midnight Menagerie never existed and Scoups hasn’t either, doing your best to save your studies and focus on what really is important. And then, when you most needed a night out after a terrible break up with your boyfriend, he showed up again, leaflets announcing the circus coming to town flying into your face wherever you went.
It was impossible to turn a blind eye on it, ignore the obvious pull you felt when you read the information. You rushed your latest lab report so you could free up your night, brushing off your roommates when they kept asking if you don’t want to watch your comfort movies with them. You knew they were looking out for you, wanting to make sure you were okay after everything that happened, but you were doing the same for yourself. Getting to the circus is exactly what you needed.
You’d like to believe it was a sign from the universe, that it sent the circus your way on purpose. And even though you certainly never hoped to see any of the performers get hurt, meeting Scoups must have had its own meaning as well. No matter how crazy you might sound, you’ll hold onto that thought unless you’re proven otherwise.
The Midnight Menagerie showing up both times you were struggling couldn’t be coincidence.
“And so you what, came to rescue?” Your best friend, Yujin, asks, sipping on her iced americano. You shake your head in disagreement, looking up from your phone. “No, I was just trying to leave and they asked me for help.” Yujin raises her eyebrows, knowing there’s definitely something you’re forgetting. “Okay, maybe I was snooping around to see if he was okay and one of the bodyguards saw me and tried to escort me so I said I could help him.”
She scoffs, shaking her head at you. “Of course you did,” she sighs, not a single sign of surprise in her voice. “What were you going to do if he got worse? I know you’ve been doing those hours at the hospital but you yourself admitted to forgetting everything you’ve learned in the past years of your studies under panic.”
“That’s why I’ve been telling them I didn’t actually know what I was doing the whole time I was there.” You know you should have left it up to the doctors, wait for them to get there and save him on their own but deep down you also know he might have gotten worse if you hadn’t done anything. And you’re not sure what you would have done if you found out he bled out or got a concussion just because you were too scared to do anything.
Yujin watches you for a second before picking up her drink again. “It all ended well, that’s what’s important.” You nod, chasing the image of Scoups bleeding out in that tent out of your mind. That’s certainly something you don’t want to think about over a dessert with your best friend.
“Do you want to come by my apartment later? I feel like we haven’t properly talked about…what happened yet,” Yujin asks, walking out of the café. You think about it for a second. Spending time with your best friend never sounds bad, but the talk that’s supposed to come with it isn’t something you’d be looking forward to. You’ve been convincing your friends you are okay, that they don’t need to worry about you, but it’s impossible to lie to her. She always sees right through you and if you’re honest, that scares you.
Because how exactly are you supposed to tell one of the most important people in your life that what happened has left you feeling broken for weeks? How do you explain to her that just hearing your ex boyfriend’s name makes you feel like throwing up? Or that you sleep on the couch in your room instead of the bed because no matter how many times you’ve changed your sheets, you can still smell a different woman there?
“I have plans, actually,” you answer, “sorry.”
“No, it’s fine,” she assures you, shaking her head. “What are you going to do? Maybe I could come by after?” You hesitate, just for a moment. There’s not much you could do, honestly. If you tell her you need to study she’ll just go to your place with you and convince you to talk instead of getting anything done. “I’m going to the hospital, I’ll be there all night.”
“Why don’t we hang out before you leave, then? If you have a night shift then there’s still plenty of time for us,” she suggests. “I’m, well– I want to visit the guy I told you about earlier before my shift starts,” you admit, making her eyes widen. You regret saying it immediately, worried what she’s going to think. Probably that you’ve gone insane. Visiting a stranger, a man, right after breaking up with your last boyfriend is anything but healthy. She might even try to stop you, talk you out of it and convince you that’s far from what you need at the moment, and you’re not sure how you could argue with her.
“I see,” she nods, obviously taken aback. “Just…be careful, alright? I’m not…,” she sighs, “If that’s what you think you need right now then I’m not going to stop you.”
Now it’s you who is caught off guard. “It’s nothing like that,” you blurt out, making her look at you. She raises an eyebrow, questioning if you really mean what you said. “This is not like a…rebound or whatever you have in mind. I just want to see how he is doing,” you say, leaving out the intense pull you feel whenever you think about him. A pull you might be able to understand if you spend some time with him. That’s all. That’s all it is.
“Sure,” she smiles, not fighting you on it. “I’ll see you another day then. Don’t go mia until then.” You assure her you won’t, pulling her into a hug before the two of you part ways, going to your last lesson of the day.
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
“Is it okay for me to come in?” You ask, hovering at the door as you take in the sight of a nurse helping Scoups get dressed. You catch a glimpse of his naked chest before she fully buttons his shirt, forcing your eyes up to his face. “Hi,” he smiles instead of answering. “I was just going to take Mr. Choi outside but I can come back later,” the nurse glances between you and her patient. “There’s no need,” he shakes his head, placing his hands on the wheels of his wheelchair that she must have helped him to get in, moving forward. “We got it. She can help me out, right?” He smiles at you and you feel your heart skipping a beat.
“Right, for sure,” you nod, a little taken aback as you look at the nurse. “I’m a student nurse. I’ve taken patients outside for some fresh air before,” you assure her. “She’s my little personal nurse,” Scoups grins, obviously not caring how it sounds. You want to tell her it’s not like that, that he is probably drugged from the medication he has to take and it makes him say weird things but she just smiles at you, taking the empty water glass from the table before making her way out of the room.
“Your personal nurse?” You question when she closes the door behind her, watching him shrug. “Quite a cute one too,” he proclaims, pushing himself forward as if he never said anything. You blink, your eyes on his back as you stay frozen in place. He just called you cute. You’re not hallucinating this. “Should we go?” He turns his head to face you, his eyes meeting yours.
You convinced both yourself and Yujin that you were coming here just to see how he was doing, to make sense of why the circus and him have such a strong grip on you, but now that you’re standing here, you can’t confidently say that there’s nothing true about what Yujin said before. Maybe meeting him is not as innocent as you originally thought.
“Sure,” you nod, following him out of the room.
You walk by his side, leading him to the elevator. “I hope it’s okay I came to visit,” you break the silence when you reach the elevator. He looks up at you, his eyes soft. “I told you before, haven’t I? I don’t mind seeing the girl that saved me from getting any worse than I already am.” It’s weird looking down at him when you know he’d be towering over you if he wasn’t stuck in a wheelchair.
“I didn’t do anything really,” you shake your head. “It’s thanks to the doctors that you’re slowly healing right now, not me.” He shrugs, getting into the elevator. “I’m still thankful.” You smile, following him inside. “If it was a different situation I might offer to buy you a drink or dinner but all I can get for a while is hospital food and I wouldn’t want to feed you that.” You chuckle, leaning your back against the elevator as you look at him, unable to hide your smile.
Maybe you’re delusional, maybe your past experience with men has made you grow crazy, but the universe putting him in your way with a purpose just makes sense. You might not know him yet, but you truly believe you’re meant to. That the fact The Midnight Menagerie showed up again is a sign for you to act on the initial attraction you felt for him when you first saw him a year ago.
You help him out of the hospital, taking him into the gardens you’ve been in many times before with other patients. You thought it might feel like working when he told his nurse you’ll take care of him instead of her but thankfully, you don’t feel like that at all. It’s nothing like work this time around, it’s more like looking after a friend, someone you care about.
“Those are my favorites,” you mention stopping near the flowers. “Lillies?” He asks, taking in the sight. You hum, walking around him and picking up one for yourself. “Why?” You shrug, looking at the pink flower in your hands. “I’m not sure, I’ve just always liked them. My mom gave me a bouquet of lilies for my tenth birthday and ever since, I’ve never liked another flower more.” He smiles, watching you while you watch the flowers, both of you looking at something beautiful.
“Is it wrong of me to ask how long ago that was?” He asks after a moment, eying you up and down. This conversation could go two different ways, either you just look really young for your age and started studying later than is usual, or you’re much younger than him. There’s only one right answer that will help him sleep at night.
You chuckle, meeting his eyes again. “I don’t mind,” you assure him. “I’m 22.” Cheol tilts his head, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. That’s the answer he wasn’t hoping for. “What about you?” You wonder, picking up on the slight change in his expression. “Let’s say I’m not exactly in your age range.” You scoff at his vague answer. “You make it sound like you’re in your fifties or something.”
“Thirties,” he corrects you. “I’m thirty.” A soft laugh leaves your lips as you shake your head at him. “And you were making that so dramatic because…”
“Does that not bother you?” He interrupts you. You tilt your head, observing him for a second. “Does that bother you, Scoups?” You question back.
He’s silent for a moment, rethinking the entire situation. Does it bother him? A bit, maybe. Isn’t it weird, talking to someone who wasn’t even born when he started school? But he’s seen couples with larger age gaps, so it couldn’t be so bad, right? Sure, the two of you are far from being a couple, but he can still think about it, can’t he?
“Seungcheol,” he says finally, making you blink in confusion. “Call me Seungcheol. Scoups is just my circus name.” Your smile grows wider as you nod, “Sure, Seungcheol.”
Looks like maybe it doesn’t bother him so much after all.
You move again, telling him about your studies and experience while he tells you about the circus and some of the other performers. It’s nice, and you find yourself smiling the entire time. You know you shouldn’t be feeling so grateful for the fact his performance failed when you were around—but that warm, fuzzy feeling sits there anyway.
“We should get you back to your room,” you whisper as you look at the sky, ignoring the feeling of his eyes on you. He hums back, following your eyes and looking up. “We probably should,” he nods, doing nothing to move from his place. You don’t do anything either, your eyes falling down to him again. With the sun lining his face, he is even more handsome. “Your nurse will be looking for you, wondering what we’re still doing outside.”
“My nurse is right here,” he meets your eyes, your cheeks growing pink immediately. There’s something about his eyes that just makes your heart skip a beat, his gaze so strong you feel weak in the knees. You avert your eyes, walking behind him to push his wheelchair again. “Your nurse needs to go home and get ready for her night shift so she can be an actual nurse one day,” you tell him, leading him back into the building.
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
There’s not much Cheol can do when he is in the hospital. He has a few books Mingyu dropped off and his phone, but most of the time, he’s just stuck with his own thoughts. Usually, it’s nothing good. Doubts, regret, hesitation. But this time, as he rests in his bed, there’s another thing on his mind. You. The way your lips curve into the softest smile, your beautiful eyes, the way you look at your surroundings with such admiration, and also the way your voice sounds.
He shouldn’t think about you this much, but he can’t help it. It’s as if there was an invisible string connecting the two of you, making him think about you whenever he has nothing else to do. An invisible pull that pushes the two of you together.
His phone rings at his bedside table, making him snap out of his thoughts. Cheol reaches for it, blinking a few times to make sure he’s got the caller id right. When it’s still there, he accepts the call, bringing the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“Hey,” the familiar voice rings in his ears, all thoughts of you suddenly disappearing when he speaks to Joohee. “I thought you weren’t talking to me now? That it’s too weird,” he quotes what Mingyu and Chan told him when they came to visit him, curious to see what she has to say. Even though they are far from being anything official, he’d definitely come visit her in the hospital if something happened to her.
“You know it’s not like that,” she argues, sitting down on her bed, the sounds muffled in the call. “But you know how it is, we don’t want others getting the wrong idea.”
“No, of course not,” he answers through gritted teeth. “And this call of yours? What if someone hears and gets the wrong idea?” She huffs, “come on, don’t be an ass for no reason.”
He wants to argue, tell her to go to hell, but he can’t. For some reason, he loses himself completely when he’s with her. “I want to know how you’re doing, if you’re healing well.” Cheol fights back a scoff, looking down at himself. Right, he’s doing great. “I’m peachy. These white walls around me are amazing.”
“I haven’t done anything to you, don’t be mad at me,” she fights back immediately. He sighs, trying to calm himself again. “Sorry. I’m okay. Getting used to not being able to go to the toilet without help.”
She laughs quietly at the image of it, bringing a hand to her mouth to muffle the sound. “Laugh all you want. I’ll laugh when you mess up your performance as well,” he rolls his eyes. “Couldn’t help it,” she says, still laughing. “Look at it from the bright side, at least you’re still alive.”
Cheol blinks, trying to figure out the right thing to say to that. There really isn’t one. Yeah, he is alive, unable to do the only thing he knows how to do, thinking about what he did so wrong to end up like this. “Yeah,” he mumbles when the silence gets too loud. “Joohee!” He hears a voice in the background, confused that he doesn’t recognize it. “I have to go,” she blurts out. “Good luck, Seungcheol.”
Cheol opens his mouth to say something, ask her where she’s going, what she means, how many people are coming to the performances, or if she doesn’t want to visit him despite what she said before, but she hangs up before he can do so, leaving him all alone again. A heavy sigh leaves his lips, his hand with the phone falling down to his lap. He looks ahead at the white wall opposite him, replaying the memory of his last performance over and over again, just as he did many times before in the last few days.
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
The Midnight Menagerie disappeared as fast as it came, vanishing as if it never existed. When the news got to Seungcheol, something in him broke. He tried calling Joohee, only to be met with the information the number he’s dialing doesn’t exist. With every call he tried to make, a call that never made it through, his soul shattered a bit more.
He’s given his life to the circus, he’s done everything in order to perfect his performance, and this is how it all ends? With everyone cutting him off?
Thankfully, there’s still one stable thing in his life. One thing that keeps him from going completely insane.
“Can you stop staring at me? I’m trying to get my notes done,” you mumble, keeping your eyes on the books in front of you. There’s been a quiet bond you and Seungcheol developed in the last few days. You came to see him every day in the past week, keeping him company while doing your own things. You worried you’d bother him at first, but he’s made it pretty clear he appreciates you coming over, especially since the people he thought of as his family left him without a word.
It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it happening before. It was obvious they weren’t going to sit around waiting for him forever when it’s not even sure he’ll be able to perform again, but it still stings. The Midnight Menagerie stays on the move no matter what, that’s clear now.
“I’m not staring,” he argues, averting his eyes and pretending like he’s been looking at his phone this entire time. “Why would I?” You glance his way, glaring at him. You’ve felt his eyes on you, he’s not talking himself out of it. “Maybe because you’re–”
“Mr. Choi, I need you to take your meds,” the nurse coming into the room interrupts you and you watch as a teasing grin spreads on his lips. You hate that look, when he thinks he’s won. “Thank you, Hana,” he smiles at her, reading her name from her name tag. “You can go, I have my own little nurse making sure I heal properly,” he winks at you, making you roll your eyes.
You stand up from your chair, smiling at the nurse as she leaves the room. “How do you make even the stupidest thing sound sexual?” You question, taking his pills of the day from his bedside table along with a glass of water. “I’m not,” he raises his hands in surrender. “Maybe it’s just you who takes everything I say sexually.”
“You wish,” you scoff, watching him swallow his meds before sitting back down. At times, you wonder how it’s even possible you became so close quickly, how you’ve managed to skip the awkward part, but you don’t mind. It’s easy with him, and the more you spend time with him, the closer you feel. “And if I do?” Your cheeks flush and every part of you wants to wipe that stupid smirk off his face.
“Then I’d tell you you’re sick and need to sleep,” you do your best to keep a straight face, hoping he doesn’t notice how red your face gets thanks to him. He laughs, averting his eyes from you. “I can’t be as sick if they’re letting me go in two days.”
“Wait, for real?” Your eyes widen, excitement taking over. He hums, still not meeting your eyes. “They said I’ve gotten a lot better and can leave if I have someone to help me with movements.”
“Do you have someone?”
It’s quiet for a second and you’re immediately glad you asked. “Do you want my help?” You offer and you watch him shift uncomfortably. You tilt your head, not taking your eyes off him as he thinks through what he wants to say. “I don’t really… there’s no need. I’ll manage.”
“Oh, come on. You’ve turned me into your personal nurse and suddenly you’re too shy to ask for help?” When he still doesn’t answer, you stand up and walk over to him, forcing him to look at you. “What is it? Just give me your address and I can come by between my lessons and shifts just like I do now.”
He looks embarrassed, his eyes still hesitant as he opens his mouth to speak. Of course he is hesitant, how is a thirty year old man supposed to explain to a college student who has her whole life figured out that his home vanished off the Earth and he has no idea what hotel he’ll stay in now. It is embarrassing.
“Alright, alright, you can help me,” he blurts out, averting his eyes again. You furrow your brows, trying to figure out what’s going on. What the hell is he not telling you that makes him want to hide like this? “Seungcheol,” your voice is strong, demanding. “Be honest with me, do you have a wife or something? A girlfriend? Is that why you don’t want me to come to your house? Because if so then just say–”
“No!” He interrupts you, maybe a little too passionately. “I don’t– It’s not that,” he sighs. “I just, kind of, don’t know my address yet,” he admits, making you blink confusedly. What does that even mean? He sees how lost you are, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as he prepares himself for the pure rejectment that will come. “When the circus left, so did the tent I lived in. I need to find a hotel or something.”
You process his words, your eyes widening. You haven’t even realized that. Fuck. Does that mean the bag with clothes Mingyu brought him when they came to visit him for the first time is all he has now? “Do you need a place to stay?” You blurt out before you can rethink it, catching both of you off guard.
Cheol shakes his head immediately, but now that you’ve put it out there, you’re not taking it back. “One of my roommates just moved out and we have a spare room. It’s going to be way cheaper than finding a hotel so last minute too.” The two of you just stare at each other for a minute, quietly arguing with your eyes before he finally sighs and you grin. “I don’t want you to think I’m using you just so you’d take care of me.”
“I won’t,” you assure him. “If anything, I’ll think you’re using me because you fancy me, not because you want me to take care of you,” you laugh, the stress he’s felt until now slowly washing off. “I can live with you knowing that,” he answers, the smile on your face widening. So he does fancy you.
You quickly spin around just so he wouldn’t see your reaction, smiling like a little kid as you walk to the table and close your books. “I’m going to get us a coffee and call my roommate. I’ll be right back.”
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
“Is that all you have?” Your roommate Minji blinks, staring at the one bag with Cheol’s stuff you’re carrying. “Kind of,” he mumbles, following you to the couch slowly. He’s glad they gave him the crutches, he’s not sure how he’d do anything if he still had to be in that wheelchair, but still, the less he moves, the better. He plops down on the couch, watching you disappear into one of the rooms. When you come back, you don’t have his bag anymore.
“Alright, since you can’t move well don’t worry about the groceries or anything, just pay rent on time and we’ll be good.”
“I’ll send you the money for groceries and everything,” he assures her and Minji smiles, glancing between him and you before excusing herself. You watch her leave, standing still for a second before joining Cheol on the couch. “If you need anything, just ask, both me and Minji will be happy to help.”
Cheol shakes his head, meeting your eyes. “I won’t ask you for any more help.” You want to argue, tell him that the grown up thing would be to just admit he needs help, but you know the conversation won’t lead anywhere, deciding to stay quiet. “I should go but I’ll be home for dinner so think about what you want to have.”
“Are you going to cook for us?” You nod, “Minji usually eats out with her boyfriend but I try to cook every day.” It’s none of his business, he knows that, but he can’t stop himself from asking. “You don’t have a boyfriend?”
You chuckle, finding him cute despite knowing you’re talking to a grown ass man. It’s often that you can’t decide if he’s adorable or incredibly sexy. “No,” you smile. “No one in sight. Why?” You know why, but you still want to hear it from him. You want to know that he cares, that he is interested.
But Seungcheol doesn’t answer your question. Instead, he just watches you, taking in your beauty. “When I can walk better, when every movement doesn’t feel like I’m being crushed alive, let me take you out.”
Your cheeks flush, whatever you wanted to say getting stuck in the back of your throat. You might have wanted to hear him say he cares, but you haven’t expected him to ask you out. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s older, more experienced than you, but you haven’t expected that. If anything, though, it’s a nice change from the guys you’ve talked to until now.
“I’d like that,” you nod with a smile. “I’d really like that.”
“Good,” he chuckles, “that makes two of us.”
If you’ve ever won in life, it’s now, sitting beside Seungcheol, imagining how great it can be when you’re with him.
You leave for work shortly after, leaving Cheol alone in the living room. There’s not much he can do but he’s used to it by now. He’s spent the last week in the hospital, bound to a bed, unable to even go to the toilet without help getting into the wheelchair.
But it’s different now at the same time. He’s in your house, your dorm. Your smell is everywhere and when he closes his eyes, he can almost see you. Your freshly washed hair, your pretty eyes and kissable lips, the way your clothes cling to your body, how your voice sounds in his ears. He’s gone, so freaking gone for you.
It’s been long since he felt like this, like just looking at you is a pleasure. With Joohee, he can’t say there would be many emotions. She’s someone he found himself constantly chasing, hoping that if he’d try hard enough, if he’d overlook her playing around with other men and just keep his eyes on her, it’d eventually work out.
But honestly, he’s tired of blindly chasing something that has no future. You might be young, younger than he ever thought he’d go for, but the feeling he gets when he’s around you doesn’t compare to anything before. He wants to take care of you the same way you take care of him, treat you like you deserve, and prove himself to you.
“Fuck,” he curses when he opens his eyes, the image of you clear in his head. How do you make him feel like a desperate teenager without even trying?
Cheol settles in his new room, trying to remember how he even got here. Suddenly, his injury doesn’t seem like such a problem anymore. He is still aware of all the pain it caused, the fact he became homeless for a second, but if it leads to a possibility of something greater, then it’s something he can live with.
The apartment is quiet when you get back, bag full of groceries in your hand. Taking off your shoes, you call out that you’re home, the door of Cheol’s room opening at the same time. “Were you waiting for me at the door?” You chuckle as you watch him slowly walk out. Your eyes widen immediately when you notice the sign of pain in his eyes, rushing to him. “Are you okay? You need to lay down.”
“I’ve been lying the whole day,” he shakes his head. His eyes meet yours and he sighs, deciding not to argue with his nurse this time. “I’ll sit down, alright. Just let me go to the toilet.” You don’t say anything, fighting the urge to take care of him and never let him out of your sight. When he doesn’t move you quickly snap out of your thoughts, nodding.
When the bathroom door closes you finally move as well, taking the grocery bag into the kitchen and preparing everything you need. You used to love cooking when you were younger, appreciating the different ways you could season and cook food. But ever since you started university, a stable eating schedule with home cooked meals went off the table. You still try to cook as much as possible, but that sometimes means having dinner at 1 am. Hopefully, with Cheol now, you can try to go back to how things were before.
Seungcheol sits at the table, quietly admiring you as you move around the kitchen. If he could, he’d help you without a second thought. Just thinking about it makes his head spin—the two of you, dancing around, stealing touches as you make dinner together, his hands squeezing your waist, your back pressed against him as he checks if you’re doing everything right. His thoughts are wandering to a dangerous territory but there’s nothing he can do about it. You make him feel this way, no matter how sane he tries to stay.
You hum to a song playing in your head as you finish up, smiling every time you catch Cheol’s eyes on you. It’s cute, and definitely something you could get used to. He makes you feel good, your chest warm when you meet his eyes. It’s something you never expected to feel this quickly, but you can’t say you’d mind. For some reason, falling for someone again doesn’t sound so scary if it’s with him.
You set two plates on the table, sitting beside him. Your knees touch under the table, neither of you moving away as he thanks you for the food. Despite both of you eating, the room doesn’t go quiet even for a second. You complain about your shift while munching on a bite, and blush when he teases you, the back and forth between you making it impossible for you to hide your smile. He tells you a bit about his day, and you learn that he never worked anywhere other than the circus. It makes sense when you think about it, how the circus is the only thing he knows, his life up to this point revolving all around it.
You could get used to this. Spending your night talking with Cheol, laughing at the stupidest things.
And you do. The two of you fall into a nice rhythm after a few days. You spend all of your free time with him, looking after him and assisting him when he needs to and in exchange, you get to look at him. He tries his best helping out as well, from paying for all the groceries despite your disagreement, to helping around the house as much as his injury allows.
“I’m not taking any money,” you refuse, shaking your head as you stare at Cheol’s hand on top of the table. It’s the middle of the night which is nothing unusual for the two of you, just like the situation at hand. It feels like you do this every night for some reason. And every night, you lose the argument. “And I’m not having this conversation all over again,” he answers, taking your hand in his and giving you the money before you can say anything else. “If you don’t want me to pay for groceries just buy yourself something with it. Either way, I’m not taking it back.” You sigh, hiding it in your jeans pocket. Another loss for you.
“You’re so annoying, how do I deal with you?” You mumble for yourself. He seems to catch you, though, a smile spreading across his lips. “Acting as if your eyes weren’t on me every time you think I’m not looking.” Yeah, there’s nothing you can say in your defence. “You must be looking at me too then to know,” you smile back. The two of you could play this game for a while. It’s so painfully obvious you are attracted to each other, you know about everything the other one does. You don’t try to hide it from each other, but you have still to make the first move.
“And what if I am?”
You open your mouth to answer but close it again when no words come out, unsure what it is that you want to say. You could finally cross that line, make the friendship blur as it turns into something more, but there’s something holding you back. You’re not sure what it is, the feeling that lies deep inside you, but it’s loud as you meet Cheol’s eyes. And despite knowing he is a good guy, that he has never made you feel anything but happiness since you met him, a part of you wants to guard yourself from what comes with blurring that line.
“It’s late, we should go to bed,” you say instead, forcing a smile. He doesn’t question you but you can feel his eyes on you as he tries to read you. He nods after a second, slowly getting up from the chair and getting his crutches so he can get into his room. “Good night, my little nurse.”
“Good night, Cheol.”
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
You lay in your room, the floor cold under your fingertips. It’s all weird, messed up. You don’t remember getting under the bed, and you certainly don’t remember being this small. Scanning your hands and chest you realize you’re far from being an adult, your head spinning when you try to figure out what’s going on. But you don’t have time to do that, not when the door of your room snaps open and you watch your ex boyfriend walk in, two half-dressed girls around him. No.
You want to close your eyes, hold your hands over your ears and pretend none of this is happening, but you can’t. It’s as if you were glued in this position, unable to do anything. Unable to stop your boyfriend from fucking the girls you used to call friends on your bed while you study your ass off just to prove yourself to him and everyone around.
No, no, no. You force your eyes closed, your breathing heaving as moans—moans that are certainly not yours—echo in your head. You want it to stop.
You wince, opening your eyes again to find yourself on top of your couch, your breathing heavy but everything back to normal again. You hold your face in your hands, the reality of how your ex boyfriend still holds power over you crashing down. You wish you could forget about it, move on and live your life, but every time you try to sleep on your bed it ends up like this.
But this is the first time you’ve had a dream about him while sleeping on the couch, and definitely the first time you dreamt of your younger self hiding under that bed.
Raising your head, your eyes meet the clock on your bedside table, three thirty staring right back at you. You don’t even think about going back to sleep for a second, slowly getting up and heading into the kitchen. If you’re going to pull an all-nighter, you’ll need a coffee. In a way, it’s good you can’t sleep. You could get a head start on your studies.
You flick on the kitchen light, taking a second for your eyes to get used to it before grabbing the kettle and filling it with water. When you settle it back down, waiting for the water to boil, you open the snack drawer you and Minji share, looking for something to bite into.
You hum to a random song playing in your head as you move around, barely paying any attention to what’s going on around you. There’s no need for you, anyway, both Minji and Seungcheol should be asleep by now.
But this time, you’re not the only one awake, Cheol’s door cracking open. When he walks out, your back is facing him and he has to narrow his eyes to make sure it’s you he’s seeing. There are two roads he could take at the moment, go to the bathroom like he planned to when he got out of bed, or join you, and see why the hell you’re making coffee past 3 am.
“Hey,” his voice is quiet, trying his best not to scare you. You glance over your shoulder, your eyes softening when they meet his. “Hey,” you mumble back, pouring yourself a cup of coffee. “Do you want some as well?” You ask without looking at him again. “Uhm…no. No, thanks,” he blinks, walking closer to you. He leans against the kitchen counter, keeping his crutches beside him. “What are you doing up?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” you mumble. “And my back hurts.”
He tilts his head, trying to read you. But you don’t make it easy for him, leaving him with nothing. “Maybe you should get a softer mattress then. Back at the circus, I used to have a mattress that always made me feel like I was sleeping on a rock and I kept waking up with my back hurting like hell.” You stay quiet, rethinking your next words before looking at him again. “I don’t sleep on a mattress. I have a couch in my room that I sleep on,” you admit, watching the confusion behind his eyes only grow.
“Why?” You shrug, your hands wrapped around the coffee mug as you bring it to your lips, finding an excuse to not look at him. Cheol also holds some sort of power over you, one you can’t name. But every time he looks at you like this, like he’d kill to know what’s going on with you, you find yourself wanting to tell him every little thing that has ever happened to you. “The bed stopped being comfortable.”
Your name leaves his lips, the urgency clear as day. You don’t think he’s ever called you by your name before, your heart immediately skipping a beat. You’ve always been his nurse, his, but now he makes you feel like much more. While your ex boyfriend makes you feel small without even being in your life, everything Cheol does makes you feel big, strong.
You look at him again, swallowing down all your nerves. For some reason, talking about it doesn’t sound as scary if it’s with him. “Want to sit down?”
You sit in the corner of the couch, your legs crossed. Cheol sits right beside you, patiently waiting for you. If he has to, he can be here all night. He’ll wait for you for as long as you need. You sip on your coffee as you go over everything in your head, trying to figure out where to start, what’s important to the story and what’s not.
“My last boyfriend, we were dating for two years before I ended things,” you start, his attention on you right away. He listens, doesn’t push, and doesn’t interrupt you. “Which I did because I found out he was cheating on me,” you pause for a second, the memory of coming home early—after Minji’s panicked call claiming she heard someone come into the apartment but is too scared to walk out and see for herself—and finding your boyfriend in the middle of fucking your old friend still clear. “With girls I knew. In my bed.”
He opens his mouth but you don’t give him the chance to speak, a small part of you worried he’ll look at you differently now, judge you. “I tried changing the sheets many times, doing all kinds of spiritual rituals, I don’t even know, but nothing works, I just– I can’t sleep in that bed.”
Cheol reaches for your hand, giving it a tight squeeze, reassuring you he is right here. You meet his eyes again, letting yourself get lost in their comfort. “Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?” He offers, still holding your hand. “I shouldn’t—”
“You should,” he interrupts you. “You need to sleep. You’ve been working hard and you have an exam in a few days, you need all the sleep you can get.” You hesitate, allowing yourself a moment to think before nodding. His expression softens as soon as you agree, almost as if the weight fell off his shoulders now that he knows he’ll be able to protect you. Which is something he finds himself wanting to do a lot. Any chance he gets, if you allow him to, he’d love to be the one who protects you.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
“Anytime.”
It’s a bit awkward as you lay in Cheol’s bed, admiring his face. He lays right beside you, facing you. It’s far from the most comfortable position he can sleep in right now but he’d do it all night if it makes you happy. Just looking at you is worth the pain.
“I had a dream about him before,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “About what happened, and I couldn’t do anything. I don’t know why it still matters so much why– why it hurts.”
Cheol moves closer to you, brushing a few hair strands off your face so he can see you better. “You didn’t deserve that.” A part of you wants to argue with him, tell him that you did just so you could justify his actions, so that it could somehow all make sense, but you don’t. You can’t argue with him, not when he leans closer and presses his lips to yours.
You hesitate, just for a beat, before kissing him back, the feeling of his soft lips on yours making your head spin. Because when the line between friendship and something more finally, finally, disappears, all you can think about is how good his lips taste.
Your eyes are closed, every one of his touches more vivid that way. You feel his fingers on the side of your neck, his thumb stroking your cheek, and your entire body burns. The kiss might be gentle but the way you feel certainly isn’t. You want to be closer, feel his skin on yours and turn your head off.
He pulls back to look at you, his eyes scanning your face to make sure you’re okay. You smile, a warm, welcoming, motion that’d make anyone fall for you. “You deserve better.”
“I think I found better,” you say, kissing him again. You close the gap between you fully, your palm resting on his chest as your breaths mingle together, the kiss saying everything the two of you have been feeling for the past weeks. Cheol hisses when you hold onto his waist, your eyes widening immediately. “Are you okay?” You pull back, your hand flying away as you check him out.
He laughs, shaking his head slightly as he holds your chin between two of his fingers, raising your head so you look him in the eyes again. “I’m fine,” he assures you. “Just come here.” He does his best to ignore the pain as he kisses you again, focusing on the way you taste, toning everything else out. And when his hand wanders under your pajama shirt, his fingers cold against your stomach, you stop thinking about anything else as well.
“We should take it slow,” he mumbles against your lips, doing his best to keep sane and not make you uncomfortable. He presses his forehead to yours, breathing in your scent as he squeezes the flesh of your waist. “We should,” you nod, your hands doing the exact opposite as you feel his chest, slowly pulling his shirt up. He doesn’t stop you, doesn’t say anything, but you feel his abs tense under your touch and his breath shake.
“But if you don’t want to,” he adds, looking down at where your hand rests on his abs. “Then?” you look up at him, your hand hovering over his waistband. “Then I don’t mind taking it fast.” — “Well, that makes two of us.”
That’s all you need to hear, both of you fighting to get the other’s shirt off. Everything in you screams at you to be careful so you wouldn’t hurt him but when his hand moves down from your waist to your ass, you forget all about it, dragging his pants down. It’s messy, and he has to help you but you don’t really care, as long as the clothes get down, you don’t care who or how they’re taken down.
“Fuck,” Cheol curses as he pulls you flush against him, pressing his lips to yours. “You drive me crazy.” Your mouth falls open when his hand slides between your legs, teasing you through your shorts. “Let me see what makes you feel good, pretty girl, hm?” You moan, his voice ringing in your ear as you nod, using the chance as he gets your shorts off to take in the sight of him.
You knew he was big, strong, his shirts hugging his muscles perfectly, but it’s a completely different story now that you’re looking at his bare body. Everything about him is beautiful. No matter the bruises on his body or the orthosis on his leg, you could look at him all day and never get enough.
“I want to make you feel good but I have to be careful, okay, my love?” The nickname makes your head spin. It’s as if he knows exactly what to do and say to get you obsessed. You nod, watching him carefully sit up. Before you can ask where he wants you, he is already picking you up and pulling you onto himself. You gasp, a soft chuckle leaving you when you feel him against you. You wrap your hands behind his neck, smiling as you stare into his eyes.
His cock pocks your ass but neither of you does anything about it, simply enjoying each other’s presence. It feels as if you’ve been a couple for ages, this something you do every day.
The gap closes again as you kiss him, unable to hide your smile. His hand gets busy as well, rubbing slow circles on your clit. Your moans get muffled in the kiss, unfortunately for Seungcheol who is dying to hear you, fortunately for Minji sleeping just down the hall.
You whine, your eyes closed as he pushes two of his digits into you, your walls clenching around him immediately. His thrusts align with his kisses, kissing the corner of your mouth and then slowly moving up. “Cheol,” you beg, rocking your hips forward, searching for more pleasure. “I know,” he whispers, kissing your cheek again before pulling his fingers out and bringing them to his lips. You watch as his lips wrap around them, another moan leaving you. He’s so incredibly hot.
He groans, the feeling of you on his tongue making his head spin. Now that he’s got a taste, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be satisfied.
“Is it really okay?” He reassures himself and you nod, needing to feel him already. “Please. I’m on the pill, just do something already.” He chuckles at your impatience, aligning himself and without another warning, thrusting up. You gasp at the stretch, grasping his shoulders tighter. He grips your ass, looking up at you as he slowly helps you move.
You do your best to stay as quiet as possible but the moment you hear him moaning your name something in you snaps, and you find yourself moaning into his ear louder than before. Your eyes roll back, your head falling to his shoulder as he fills you up, his thrusts speeding up. And the moment his fingers find your clit again, you’re completely done for.
The orgasm reaches you faster than you can comprehend, his name falling off your lips like a prayer. He doesn’t stop thrusting, chasing his own orgasm. You feel incredible, better than anyone before, and he already knows he doesn’t want to see if there’s anyone better after you. He’d be a fool to not appreciate what’s right in front of him.
“I’m right behind you, baby.” And he’s right, thrusting into you a few more times before reaching his own orgasm. You bite into his shoulder when he does, trying to steady yourself as your head goes blank, more satisfied than ever. If this is how he moves with one of his legs fucked, you wonder how it’ll be once he is fully healed.
Cheol hisses at the feeling of your teeth on his skin, unable to question anything when you pull back with the proudest smirk. “Is this what you like? Hickeys? Marks?” He wonders, leaning down and kissing your neck, leaving a similar mark you just did. If you want to brand him yours, he certainly doesn’t mind doing the same back.
“I like you,” you answer, tilting your head to give him better access. “I like you, Cheol,” you repeat, just because you can. Instead of answering right away, he presses his lips to your once more, claiming you all over again. Seungcheol has always been a man of actions, not words, but if you need to hear him, he’ll gladly say it too. He’d do anything as long as you’re happy. “I like you, my little nurse, and I can’t wait to fall in love with you.”
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
When you come home after a day full of lectures, all you want to do is jump into your—Cheol’s—bed and sleep for the next twenty-four hours. But your plans change as soon as you open the door and your eyes land on the large bouquet of flowers on the table. Seungcheol is sitting right beside them on the couch, your favorite snack in his hands and a big grin on his face. You blink confusedly, taking in the sight before snapping back to reality and taking your shoes off.
“What’s going on?” you wonder as you walk closer to him, unable to hide your smile. “I want to take you out like I’ve been promising,” he explains, standing up and taking the bouquet into his hands. You take it from him, bringing them to your nose to smell the lilies. This couldn’t have been better.
Two weeks have passed since you slept with Seungcheol for the first time. And he made a promise to you the very next morning. He swore he’d take you on a proper date as soon as he could stand on both of his feet without having to lean on anything and he’s kept that promise, looking better than ever as he stands in front of you with your favorite flowers and snacks, dressed in a tight, black shirt that hugs his muscles perfectly. He really couldn’t have done it better.
You hold the bouquet in one hand, wrapping the other behind his neck and pulling him into a hug. Both of his arms wrap around your waist immediately, his lips pressed against your temple. That much is enough for you to know you’ve picked right, that you wouldn’t change this for anything else.
“Let’s go, hm?” You pull back, looking down at your outfit before shaking your head. “Give me thirty minutes and then I’ll go anywhere with you.” He chuckles, taking the flowers back from you so he can put them into a vase, watching you run off into the bathroom before he can say anything else.
It takes you forty to get ready but he doesn’t mention it, simply leading you outside to your car. If there’s one thing he regrets, it’s still not taking care of his car. It would have been much better if he didn’t have to worry about having to use your car for transportation.
“You shouldn’t drive,” you shake your head when he opens the passenger door for you. “Let me drive us, it’s okay.” He refuses, holding your hand in his and leading you inside. “I promise you I’m fine. So turn off that pretty nurse brain of yours for today and let me take care of you.”
“But–”
“No buts,” he shakes his head, closing the car door behind you and walking over to the driver’s seat. “You’re still not supposed to put much pressure on the leg,” you try one more time but he simply leans closer to you, giving you one last look telling you he’s got it before he fastens your seatbelt for you. A part of you wants to remind him you’re not a kid and could have done that on your own, but a bigger part can’t help but blush when he does, loving being taken care of like this.
As you drive through the city, you thank him again for everything he’s prepared and try asking him where you’re going but he always brushes you off, telling you it’s a surprise. You don’t push again after. Whatever it is he’s prepared you know it’ll be great. As long as you’re with him it’ll always be amazing.
Cheol parks the car at the closest parking lot near the park, getting a picnic basket and a blanket from the truck. You watch him, wondering when he had the time to do all this. You’ve had your car with yourself at Uni so he had to pack everything when you were getting ready. How have you not noticed he left the dorm?
You offer to carry the blanket, wrapping your hand around his biceps as you walk together into the park. There’s a smile on your face the entire time, excitement taking over you. You didn’t think you could feel like this about someone again for a while but cheol keeps proving you otherwise every day. And every day, you feel like falling for him could be easier.
You set the blanket down on the grass, finding a place you like. Cheol doesn’t question your judgement even for a second, sitting down right beside you and placing the basket on the side. You watch him for a second, just observing, taking in the sight of him before you peek into the slightly opened basket. “What did you bring?”
“I cooked for us while you were gone. There are dumplings, bibimbap bowls, some fruits, soda, and even some gummies. I wasn’t sure what you’d be in the mood for so I grabbed a bit of everything.” As soon as he finishes explaining what he packed, you close the gap between you, pulling him into a kiss. His hand finds your waist on instinct, pulling you even closer as he kisses you back.
“You’re amazing,” you whisper. He smiles, taking everything out and spreading it on the blanket.
You eat the food Cheol cooked while talking about your day, the conversation flowing. It feels like no matter how much time you spend together, you’ll always have something to talk about. You tell him about your hang out with Yujin last night and how despite having a lot of fun with her, you missed him. You kiss between bites, keeping close as you talk about not only the past but the future as well. He tells you about the jobs he’s been looking at, about a movie he wants to watch with you, and about how things could be.
You learn how many children he wants, how he wants to play games with them and show them the world. Your smile grows with each passing second, imagining what life could be like in a few years. Kids, a house, a successful career, everything you’ve always dreamed of. With your ex, you were too busy worrying if you were good enough to think about any of this stuff, to let yourself imagine and dream.
With Cheol, it doesn’t even feel like a dream, a simple wish out for the universe to fulfil. It feels like something that could actually happen, like a future you could share with him.
Your name slips past his lips, making you look up at him from the piece of strawberry in your hand. “Will you be my girlfriend?” It’s a question you haven’t expected, but it’s not a one you’d have to think too hard about. Of course you will, you’d be a fool not to. “Yes,” you giggle, claiming his lips with yours, just to seal the deal.
Your date is as amazing as it can be, at least until you’re interrupted. “Scoups?” The male voice has both of you turning around. You hide your mouth with your hand so he can’t watch you chew, your head tilting in confusion as you meet eyes with one of the Midnight Menagerie performers. “Mingyu?” Cheol questions back, his eyebrow raised. “What are you doing here?”
Mingyu opens his mouth to answer but then closes it again when he takes in the sight in front of him. His friend, eating fruits on a blanket in a park with the same girl that played doctor that night of his accident. Yeah, no matter how he looks at it, this is something he shouldn’t have interrupted. “It’s uhm… we should talk on a different day. You seem busy.”
“No, wait,” Cheol shakes his head, sitting up in a rush, ready to chase after him if he decides to leave. He needs answers, and he needs them now. “Is the circus back? Is everyone here? The show is it—”
“I’m here alone,” he interrupts with a heavy sigh. Your eyes flicker between the two guys, trying to read the situation. After giving it a second thought, you sit up straight as well, creating space on the blanket. “Come sit down.” Mingyu hesitates, slowly nodding when he sees the desperation in Cheol’s eyes. He knew this conversation was coming, that’s why he came back after all, he just hadn’t expected for it to happen so soon.
“I could go, I bet you guys have a lot to talk about,” you offer but before you can stand up, Cheol stops you, placing his hand to your knee. You meet his eyes, offering him a reassuring smile when he does the same. “Stay here, baby.” — “Okay,” you nod, glancing at Mingyu again. He looks kind of awkward, out of space.
“The Midnight Menagerie is weird,” Mingyu proclaims suddenly, not taking his eyes off his friend. He needs him to listen, to believe him. Otherwise nothing will change. “It’s a circus,” Cheol reminds him. “A place built on tricks, illusion, and scary acts—of course it’s weird.”
“I know,” Mingyu argues. “It’s always been weird, I’m aware. I grew up in that place, heck, but it’s getting weirder.” Cheol blinks confusedly, tilting his head. “What do you mean?”
“The boss is everywhere right now, he’s having these weird interviews with everyone involved with the circus and getting more involved.”
“Is that a bad thing?” You question and Mingyu’s eyes trail to you. “Yes, absolutely.” Cheol sighs, looking over at you as well. “He was never really interested in what was happening. As long as we made money, he didn’t care what we were doing or how we kept the circus alive,” he explains. Mingyu nods, agreeing with everything said. “But now he is in everyone’s business. Him and Joohee are basically glued together and—”
“Joohee?” Cheol interrupts, something flashing behind his eyes. You’re not sure if it’s regret, pain, or excitement, but it’s there. You remember Joohee, how Chan mentioned her that day in the hospital when they came to visit. You always knew there must have been something between her and him, but you didn’t know it was serious enough for him to react like this.
“After you left, she started commanding everyone around.”
“After you left me,” Cheol corrects but Mingyu ignores him, continuing his story. “We thought it was a joke and didn’t really listen at first, but then she started walking around hand in hand with the boss and the mood just…changed. Everyone is slowly disappearing and being replaced with these weird-looking, robot people.”
“What do you mean?” That seems to catch his attention, wondering how everything could change so fast. It still feels like yesterday that he joined the circus and trailed along his mentor’s side, his eyes sparkling with excitement every time he could watch him fly in the sky, doing everything Cheol always dreamt of. At least until the accident happened, and he had to watch the same guy who’s been like a father to him die during one of his acts.
His eyes widen at the memory, remembering how the boss showed up at the circus a few days after that as well, trying to get things under his control. Back then, he wasn’t lucky. Everyone was raised free-spirited and it wasn’t so easy to control them. But if people are changing, so might his chances at getting the power he always wanted. “You said people started disappearing,” he blurts out, really hoping he is wrong. “Who disappeared?”
“I’m not sure what happened, if they left on their own like I did so I could find you or if something happened—”
“Who disappeared?” Seungcheol repeats his question, much more serious now. Your eyes flicker between the two of them, trying to puzzle the pieces together. But it’s not working, this whole conversation feels like a competition, and they’ve stolen one of your key pieces, making it impossible for you to finish. You can tell there is something the two of them aren’t sharing, you just can’t figure out what.
But Cheol and Mingyu share a piece of the puzzle together, slowly figuring out what the other one is thinking. It’s easy, because they are both playing the same game, with equal number of hints. There’s only one explanation they can think of, even though neither of them like it.
“Joshua was first,” Mingyu finally admits. “Then Minghao the next day. Seungkwan, Chan, and Junhui are also gone.” Cheol’s eyes widen. How come there have been so many disappearances and no one bats an eye? It should be all over the media by now. “That’s not all,” he adds, and a part of Seungcheol worries what he’s going to say next.
“I think you might have figured it out already but,” he pauses for a second, rethinking his next words, “I found out some of the guys in the tech group have been behind the messed up performance Shin was a part of.”
If there is something Cheol didn’t want to hear, it’s this. Hearing that the people who he thought of as family are responsible for the death of someone he looked up to so much isn’t something he can just ignore and act like it never happened. “Cheol, is everything okay?” You interrupt his thoughts, holding his hand in yours. “I think– I need a second. I’m going to go back to the car, I left some of the fruits there,” he forces a smile. You can see that he is hurting but you don’t want to push him, giving him a reassuring smile and letting him go.
“Can you run it back for me from the start?” You turn to face Mingyu again when he leaves for the car, trying to understand everything.
“So you’re telling me, what, that if I wasn’t noisy that day and didn’t try to help someone might have tried to end his life before the ambulance arrived and mask it as an accident? A badly set cannonball?” Panic grows deep in you, the thought of what could have happened scaring you more than you’d like to admit. It could have all gone so wrong.
“I don’t– I’m not sure what happened then,” Mingyu sighs. “I hope I’m wrong, that it wasn’t on purpose but with everything else happening…” he purposely trails off when he sees Cheol coming back, not wanting to talk about this in front of him.
“I’m sorry, I just needed to think,” he sits back down, placing a few bananas beside the strawberries on the blanket. You hold his hand as soon as you can, needing the reassurance that he is there possibly more than him. “I might sound insane, I also thought I was insane when it first occurred to me, but when I was at the hospital, I was trying my best to figure out how it happened and for a second–” he tilts his head with a sigh. “What if some of the performances we do aren’t fake? What if someone truly has the power to do the impossible?”
“Like what?” You question, stealing glances at Mingyu, trying to see what is going on in his head. “Magic,” he mumbles, quickly adding to his thoughts before you can label him as mentally ill. “Right before my performance, I spoke with Joohee and she wished me good luck but unlike any other time, she wished me to break a leg. I know how it sounds, but what if somehow, she casted a curse on me?”
“I don’t think you sound insane,” Mingyu assures him. “Her performances have been getting…bigger. More magic tricks, ones that don’t just look but make you feel like they’re out of this world. You’d have to see her, but I definitely don’t think you’re insane for suspecting her.”
He’s not sure if he should feel relieved or scared. Relieved that he isn’t seeing things, that maybe his theory isn’t as crazy as he thought it was, or scared about what’s going to happen next. If it really is true, if Joohee’s magic isn’t just built on illusion and timing, then anything can happen.
“I couldn’t be there any longer so I disappeared before they could make me disappear,” Mingyu breaks the silence. “I don’t know what to do and for some reason, visiting you was the only thing I could think about. Maybe it’s because it all started with your performance, or maybe I just hoped this place was far away from everyone else.”
Neither of you answer, thinking about everything that happened until now and what could be done. “Didn’t you say you have a friend who is a journalist?” Cheol turns to you and you nod, a little confused. “Do you think you could reach out to her? See if she isn’t looking for a piece to write?”
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
Surprisingly, the following days have been rather quiet. Since you’ve spoken to Mingyu, both Cheol and you have been on the edge, worried if there isn’t someone waiting for you every time you go out. You know at this point you’re just being paranoid but some worries are understandable. After all, you tried to provoke the same people who have tried to kill your boyfriend before.
Boyfriend. Even though it’s been days since you’ve become official, it still feels unreal. When you first saw Scoups in the circus—back then only knowing him by his stage name—you knew the attraction was there. Still, you haven’t expected for this to turn out this way. Just a few weeks ago you spent your days studying, burying yourself in books just so you wouldn’t have to think about your ex boyfriend, and now, you get spoiled by the man of your dreams every day.
If it wasn’t for the Midnight Menagerie, you’d dare to say your life is perfect.
“Okay, thank you,” you smile, hanging up the phone and looking at Cheol sprawled across the entire bed. “Her boss has been paid to take the article down,” you explain and he raises his head. “The one about the circus?” You nod, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as you sit beside him. He opens his arms, encouraging you to lay down. You do, resting your head on his chest as he wraps his arms around you, keeping you close. “It’s okay. This means something is happening. We just need to figure out what it is.” You hum, allowing yourself to close your eyes and relax for a moment.
When you wake up again it’s because your boyfriend tries to get up from under you so he could open the door. “Sleep, love. Minji probably just forgot her keys, I’ll get it.” You nod, giving him one of your smiles before making yourself comfortable, hugging his pillow. He chuckles at the sight, fixing his shirt so he doesn’t look like he just rolled out of bed—even though he did—and going to open the front door.
But when he does, it’s not your roommate he sees. Instead, it’s someone he least expected to knock on his door on a random Wednesday. “Hello.” Cheol blinks, debating slamming that door right in front of her face. But the rational part of him knows that’s not what he should do at the moment, opening the door wider instead, allowing her to come in. “Joohee,” he says instead of a former greeting. She laughs at his reaction, walking past him inside.
Her eyes scan the living room, nodding slightly. “I didn’t know your nurse girl made enough money for something like this. It’s nice,” she approves, making him take a deep breath before joining her side. “Don’t take her into your mouth.”
“Why? You used to love my mouth,” she smirks, turning around to face him again. But she isn’t met with the emotion she expected, with the love she always saw behind his eyes. Her smirk falls off, replaced with some sort of understanding smile. “I see,” she mumbles. “You two must have gotten close.”
“Why are you here?” He asks, ignoring all her comments. He knows she isn’t here to have a chitchat or tell him she is happy for him so he’d much rather skip all that bullshit. “Can’t I just visit my old friend?” Cheol rolls his eyes, taking a seat on the couch. “How did you even find me?”
“I know people,” she shrugs, taking one last look around before sitting down as well. “Is she here?” — “No,” he lies without hesitation. He’s never been a fan of lying but if he gets to protect you like this, he’ll do it again and again without batting an eye. He just hopes you stay asleep and this doesn’t turn into an even bigger problem.
Joohee hums, “I wanted to say hello to her. I guess we’ll have to do that another time.”
“There won’t be another time,” he snaps before she can say anything else. “These visits are not something you’ll be doing again.”
She smirks. It’s sweet to see him so protective over you, so sweet. “Why not? I want to meet the person who brought so much attention to the Midnight Menagerie.” Something flickers behind Seungcheol’s eyes, realization she assumes. “Did you think we weren’t going to find out who wrote an article about the mysterious disappearances at the Midnight Menagerie?” She quotes the article, acting like she is thinking deeply about something before continuing. “Is it just a coincidence or has the circus always been a part of something bigger? Murders?” She cocks her head to the side, her smile falling.
“Let me tell you something, Seungcheol,” she doesn’t give him a chance to speak, her expression serious as she stares at the man in front of her. “I liked you. I thought you were adorable with your smiles, jokes, and tongue—does she know yet how skilled you are with it?—but my adoration for you goes only this far.” His teeth clench together, every part of him feeling disgusted the more she talks. “I didn’t want you to die, I did my best to keep you alive while getting you out of our way but this,” a disappointed sigh leaves her lips, “this makes me question my previous decision.”
You soon realize you can’t sleep properly without Cheol’s hands wrapped around you and listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. You get out of bed after rolling around for a while longer, wondering where he is so long. If Minji just needed to get the door opened he would have been back a long time ago.
You rub your eyes with the back of your hand, getting them to focus again as you walk to the door, going to find him on your own. But you stop yourself in time, the female voice behind the door reaching your ears. That is definitely not Minji. You want to rush outside, see who it is your boyfriend is talking to instead of cuddling you in the bed but thankfully you hear a name before you can do so. Fuck.
“Just tell me what you want, Joohee,” he urges. “Tell me why you’re doing all this.” The corner of her mouth twitches. “It’s really easy, actually,” she leans closer to him, a shiver running down his spine when he feels her breath on his ear. “Power is an addiction. And power, power is something I’ve always felt around you,” she kisses the shell of his ear, her palm pressed against his chest. Cheol’s eyes widen immediately, pushing her off. Her back hits the other side of the couch, a smirk on her lips.
You hate not seeing what’s happening in the next room, and you hate even more how quiet it gets. The voices are there, you can still make out as much, but everything is muffled. You doubt that means anything good. You bring your phone to your ears, taking a step back to make sure they can’t hear you before speaking. “Park Joohee, one of the people standing behind the disappearances at the Midnight Menagerie and possible murderers we told you about a few days ago is in my living room.”
It’s crazy how just one call can prevent everything you’ve been so worried about. As soon as you give your address information to the police officer your friend introduced you to right after writing her article about the circus, you finally open the door, meeting eyes with the woman sitting on your couch.
“Looks like our nurse is home after all,” Joohee grins and Cheol turns to face you immediately, panicking. You shouldn’t be here. He’s still not sure why Joohee came here, what she has up her sleeve, and he certainly doesn’t want to figure it out with you at risk.
“I’ve heard so much about you,” she smiles at you, a smile so fake it makes you cringe. “Can’t say the same about you,” you retort, sending Seungcheol a reassuring smile when you notice the worries in his eyes. He doesn’t need to worry about you, though, you have everything under control. “Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I wish you–” she doesn’t get to finish her sentence as Cheol quickly covers her mouth. Your eyes widen as you watch him, frozen in place as he makes sure not a single word leaves her lips.
“In care I’m really not that far from the truth, it’s not safe to let her wish anything bad upon us,” he explains and you finally move again, feeling like a heavy rock just fell off your shoulders. This feels like a win.
“Then you should keep her like that until officer Choi gets here to take her away,” you say, plopping down on the couch. He blinks confusedly at first, his confusion slowly replaced by admirance as he looks at you. If he’d feel confident enough nothing will happen if he let Joohee go he’d pull you in for the biggest kiss in a heartbeat.
♡⸝⸝ ♡⸝⸝
The Midnight Menagerie is used to disappearing as fast as it arrives, but this time, it looks like they won’t be going anywhere. After an anonymous tip to the police department, an investigation of the circus was launched, uncovering details that shocked all the villagers.
The Midnight Menagerie has long captivated audiences across Asia. However, police now confirm that the death of one of its former performers, Mr. Shin, previously ruled as accidental, is being reclassified as a homicide.
Investigators have since reopened more cases linked to the mysterious circus, including the list of missing performers provided by a former member of the circus—Choi Seungcheol, who has gotten into an accident during his time at the circus that the police has now classified as an attempted murder after the confession of one of the involved, Park Joohee.
You smile as you scan the news page, happy now that everything regarding the circus is behind you. There was a time you truly believed the universe could have sent the Midnight Menagerie and Scoups your way on purpose but now, now you just believe you and Cheol found your way to each other because you were meant to get far away from it.
You place the newspaper back on the table, looking up to see how your boyfriend is doing. You can practically see the frown on his face despite his back facing you, his shoulders visibly tense as he fixes the shelf in his room so it’s no longer crooked. “Do you need my help?” You offer but he just shakes his head. “Just sit there, pretty, I’m almost done.”
You can’t complain, not with the sight in front of you. Your boyfriend is handsome, even more so when he does manual work like this. In the past week, he’s already put together a new table, fixed the light in the bathroom, and helped a new renter move in. It might not be the life you imagined for yourself before meeting him, but it certainly is the life you love now that you’re living it.
As soon as he is done, he plops down on the bed beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You smile at him, leaning in and pressing your lips to his. “Not only is my boyfriend incredibly strong, he also looks so handsome during it,” you whisper, creating a smile on his lips. He gives you another kiss, pulling you even closer to himself. “Only for you,” he assures you.
You giggle when he picks you up and sits you on his lap, looking up at you. You run your hand through his hair, unable to hide your smile. “We should get away after your exams are over.” You nod, never for a bit questioning his idea. You’d go anywhere with him. “I’d love that.”
You kiss him again, needing to feel his lips on yours as you talk about your plans for the future, hoping to steady yourself with it as the warm, fuzzy feeling you’ve been feeling a lot around him lately appears again. The three words hang at the tip of your tongue but you don’t say them yet. Not because you wouldn’t be sure about him, but because you want to enjoy this moment for a bit longer. Your lips on his, no words said, just your bodies touching.
But you do pull away eventually to take a breath and the urge to tell him overtakes you. You cup his cheeks, smiling at him as you gaze into his eyes. “I love you, Choi Seungcheol, and I’d love to go anywhere with you.”
You catch the spark flickering in his eyes, his lips chasing after yours right away. You giggle as he switches your positions, pinning your back to the mattress. Your name leaves his lips, a quiet prayer between the messy kisses he leaves on your face. “I love you, with every tiny bit of my body,” he proclaims, meeting your eyes again after kissing you.
He wants to tell you more, tell you how much he appreciates you every day and that he truly believes he exists because you exist, but when he looks into your eyes, he knows there is no need to say it all—because you know. You know exactly what he wants to say because you understand him, more than he thought you ever could when he first met you.
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