#midwestern kirk

[star-trek-shallot]

[Kirk is interviewing for admission to Starfleet]

Interviewer: So, what do you bring to the table?

Kirk: Oh, easy. Potato salad. If it's a family thing.

Interviewer: I meant to work...

Kirk: *clears throat* Oh, I would bring regular potatoes. None of that funny business.

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Spock, writing in his journal: This past week, the Enterprise has been docked at Earth. Considering our relationship status, Captain Kirk decided it was opportune time to introduce me to his parents

Spock: The introduction was simple, friendly, and involved a bit too much physical touch

Spock: However, the most fascinating (and bewildering) part was when we attempted to take our leave

Spock: We stood to go but continued talking, so fervently so that it took nearly an hour to exit the door

Spock: Jim congratulated me on my "first Midwestern goodbye"

Spock: I fear the implications of him calling it my "first"

[deheerkonijn]

we don’t talk about that where it can hear us 🌽🍂

@goldkirk I hope you did well! :)

[warpfactornonsense]

Ramblin’ Man - pg 5

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[star-trek-shallot]

Star Trek: TOS where everything is the same except every time the Enterprise's tractor beams are activated Kirk says, in true Midwest fashion, "That's not going anywhere."

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Spock, writing in his journal: During our officer's meeting, the entire conversation got derailed by McCoy bragging about getting a shipment or "real, genuine" Georgia peaches

Spock: And that he would not be sharing them

Spock: Somehow, this led to Captain Kirk bragging about Iowa, his home state, being the third in the United States to legalize gay marriage

Spock: Then he winked at me

Spock: I did not expect a human proposal to be so... underwhelming, but I will go to his quarters this evening to accept it

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Spock, writing in his journal: Last week, Captain Kirk introduced me to a sport he called, "golfing"

Spock: He said it was an old Earth activity about showing one's strength of swing

Spock: Jim exercised his skills by taking me to a holodeck and hitting the ball as hard as he could, landing it into a lake in which it deftly sank

Spock: According to my husband, that meant he hit a "home run" and he smiled as wide as his cheeks could stretch the rest of our outing

Spock: He resembled that little woodland rodent he is so fond of. The Chipmunk

Spock: ...I will not be sharing my extensive findings on ancient golf with him

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Spock, writing in his journal: Captain Kirk has spent the entire week leading up to shore leave trying to convince the crew to partake in a group fishing trip

Spock: It appears I am the only one who agreed to come

Spock: However, when I asked the captain how many aquatic analysis research tools to bring, he looked quite distraught

Spock: I indeed believe I might have interpreted this human activity incorrectly

Spock: This seems to be the "corn hole" situation all over again