i knew i loved the crackship kurt x mike because of the booty camp/“sashay” moment in season 3, but rewatching wonder-ful (4x21) makes me need it even moreeeee
Omg yesss I love them together. I don’t even have “crackships” anymore tho I’m just like shipping whoever I want and deciding that yes, it is legit
Another good moment of theirs? Mike voting for Kurt for senior class president. Even tho Mike and Brittany have probably been in the same or adjacent cliques since freshman year, and that’s his number one dance partner. But nope, voting for Kurt with no hesitation. We love to see it
Also what is their ship name? Murt is what I call Matt/Kurt and using their first names the other way around is an actual slur so I’m gonna not do that lmao. Apparently I have some posts tagged with Changmel and some with Mikurt. I think I’m gonna go with Mikurt cause it sounds cuter. Like my Kurt <3
rewatching with my mikurt glasses on because i am a heathen for niche crackships, and i saw that in NBK in the scene where all the boys are being total dicks and kurt decides to go visit dalton, finn and mike are the only people who look like they at least care a little bit when kurt walks out. so basically, they literally all suck but mike sucks the least in that scene so!
Honestly when it comes to Glee all we can ask for is for someone to suck the least lmao. Mike was often that person, probably mostly bc they never gave him much to do
But we still love him and we stay having those Mikurt glasses on <3
This alternate S2 fic is dedicated to the kindly Anon who suggested a bit of Vampire!Mike to fill my idea void today. Thanks, anon! :)
~*~*~*~*~*~
Ever since the age of five when he made the mistake of peeking through the staircase railing to watch “Interview With the Vampire” (unbeknownst to his parents) because he liked looking at the pretty actors, Kurt has been completely creeped out by vampires. Beautiful seductive creatures who lurk in the shadows just waiting for their chance to suck your blood and then kill you, unless they choose to share a little of their own blood back and turn you into one of them. Ick!
According to the movie, even kids his own age could be turned into vampires! Kurt was taking no chances on that. Thus began his love affair with high collared shirts, neckties, and fashionable scarves. Not only would he look good, but his vulnerable neck would be completely protected at all times.
However, as he grew up and the vampire threat never materialized, Kurt’s paranoia eased. There were other, far more realistic threats to plague his everyday life.
He still refused to watch vampire movies though. It wasn’t until sophomore year in high school, when he found himself surrounded by friends for the first time, that he finally gave in and watched “Twilight” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. He still didn’t warm toward the bloodsuckers, but he watched more movies over the summer. Some of those werewolves were damn cute!
He was sitting in Glee Club one morning, six weeks into junior year, thinking about some new heart-healthy recipes he might be able to try out on his dad, and wondering if he could make it to English Lit class unmolested by a locker slamming if he slipped around the back of Freshman hall and up the East Wing staircase, when something unexpected happened.
It was “classic rock” week and Mike Chang and Noah Puckerman got up to do their assignment, an interpretive dance by Mike set to Puck’s cover of “Hot Blooded” by Foreigner. Puck was making bedroom eyes at every girl in the club as he sang, but Mike . . . Mike was staring straight at Kurt!
Kurt glanced around to see if anyone else was noticing this, but they were all happily bopping along with the music, mouthing the words, playing air guitars, and in short paying no attention at all. Even Tina, Mike’s new girlfriend as of summer break, did not seem to notice that his eyes were focused somewhere other than herself.
He started watching Mike again. In fact, he couldn’t stop watching him.
There was a strange quality to his smile, a light in his eyes that Kurt had never seen before. It was almost, seductive. Those warm brown eyes were suddenly dark and alluring, the flow and flex of his muscles mesmerizing. Kurt could feel himself leaning forward in his chair, his body all too ready to answer the call of those beckoning hands, those coaxing lips. God, why had he never noticed before what beautiful lips that boy had?
When the song ended with a wail from Puck’s guitar and a graceful leap and artful sprawl of Mike’s body on the tile floor, the Glee Club went wild. Mr Schuester led the standing ovation, blathering something meaningless about the true spirit of rock and roll, and how next week’s assignment would be a repeat of last year’s Boys versus Girls mashup challenge.
Kurt assured the other guys that he had their new assignment in the bag, given that Mr. Shue wanted them to perform a song by a female artist or group, while the girls would choose a male, but his attention was only half hearted. He could not stop looking at Mike Chang. The other boy had picked himself off the floor and joined his peers, but he still periodically glanced at Kurt out of the corner of his eye and when the bell rang and everyone filed out of the room, Kurt would have sworn he saw that eye wink.
Surely not, though. He had to be imagining things. Mike wasn’t interested in him. He wasn’t gay. He had been dating Tina for a couple of months now! And last year, he had . . . well, actually last year he spent pretty much all of his time with Matt Rutherford. Come to think of it, neither of those guys had joined the glee club at all until after Kurt had been on the football team with them and taught them to do the Single Ladies dance. But that was just a coincidence, surely! They had joined to support their football bro’s, Puck and Finn. It had nothing to do with him. Right?
He followed Mike and Tina, who were arm in arm as usual, out of the choir room. They looked happy, as couply as ever. He had definitely been imagining things.
Then Mike glanced over his shoulder, smiling at Kurt. The track lighting in the corridor suddenly glinted off his left canine tooth as he turned back around, and Kurt’s blood went cold. Had it looked a little too . . . pointy?
But no, that was absurd. He wasn’t Principal Figgins, for goodness sake! Tina had dressed in goth style all last year, going so far as to convince the gullible man that she was a legit, fang-bearing daughter of a ruthless Vampire Dynasty, just to keep her personal fashion statement.
Kurt was a lot more practical than that, and vampires were just movie creatures anyway. They weren’t ordinary high school students . . . who were now dating said Vampire Princesses . . . and acting a lot more confident than they ever had before . . . and dancing about to lyrics about hot blood while eyeing innocent peers like juicy steaks.
And vampires were supposed to be beautiful, alluring, irresistible creatures. Mike Chang was only . . . shit, all of those things.
No! No, no, no, no! This was silly. Kurt had already been stung twice for showing attraction to straight boys in Glee, misreading their friendliness for possibility. He wasn’t going to do it again, no matter how lonely he was, or how jealous the sight of nearly every other member of the club paired up and happy was making him.
He certainly wasn’t going to talk himself into believing that Mike was secretly a vampire who was interested in sucking his . . . well, anything.
Except, the very next day, when Dave Karofsky assaulted Kurt in the hallway again, nearly knocking him out with the force of his shove into the hard surface of a locker, Mike Chang went on the attack. He saw Karofsky strike Kurt, and he let go a fearsome roar of anger. He turned on his heel and charged at the larger boy, aiming his shoulder toward Karofsky’s middle and leaping on him as if he were a tackling dummy. It was clear that Mike’s time on the football team had not been for nothing, for the surprised Karofsky went flying with a satisfying grunt of surprise.
Unfortunately, Karofsky was back on his feet in seconds, shoving the smaller boy and threatening to break his face with his fist. (Seriously? Kurt’s ears were still ringing, but did Karofsky actually just announce to the whole school that he had nicknamed his fist, The Fury? God, somebody had been ingesting too many comic books along with his morning bowl of steroids!)
Mike shouted something back about how Kurt was one of theirs and the jocks had better back off and leave Kurt alone, or else. Understandably unimpressed by this warning, Karofsky followed through on his threat and swung. Mike ducked the blow nimbly, smiling at the other boy when he yelped in pain, cradling the broken hand which had just punched a locker hard enough to dent it.
“You might want to see the nurse about that. Come on, Kurt,” Tina said, helping him to his feet and hurrying him out of the path of destruction before Karofsky could recover from his shock. “We’re going to see the principal. This has gone on long enough. We have to report it.”
Kurt, Mike, Tina, and surprisingly, Jacob ben Israel, whom Kurt had not even seen lurking in the shadows like a rat with a video camera, all trooped to the office of the newly appointed Principal Sylvester. They truthfully reported the repeated physical assaults of Dave Karofsky against Kurt Hummel, and Mike freely admitted to tackling the large Junior in defense of Kurt.
Between Jacob’s video footage, and Tina corroborating the story with reports of having witnessed both this current attack and several others in the past, which Figgins had done nothing about, Sue Sylvester was convinced. She had enough to warrant suspension, if not outright expulsion, and grounds to enforce protection for Kurt, now apparently to be known as Porcelain, while he was on school grounds. Mike had received a day of in-school suspension for fighting on school grounds, to be served filling in for Sue’s current front-desk minion tomorrow, but Karofsky’s fate would be up to the school board. Tina’s mention of Figgins’ ineptitude had been exactly the right tactic to whet Sue’s appetite for power, with the reminder that she could use this incident to make her temporary assignment a permanent one.
“Thank you,” Kurt said to his friends and Jacob as they left the office. The heavy weight he had felt like he had been carrying alone forever was suddenly lifted from his shoulders. “Especially you, Mike. That was amazing. I don’t even know what to say.”
Jacob just nodded and skittered off somewhere to add the latest news to his blog, clearly pleased with his role in protecting himself and other underdogs from terrorizing by the bullying jocks. Tina gave Kurt a peck on the cheek and, far more surprisingly, gave her boyfriend (?) an encouraging little push towards Kurt.
Mike retained his confident demeanor until he suddenly found himself all alone with Kurt. Then he ducked his head and shuffled like the nervous, quiet boy that Kurt remembered from last year. “I had to,” he said softly. “Look, can we find someplace more private to talk?”
Seeing the curious eyes of passing students sweeping over them, Kurt nodded and led Mike out to the student parking lot. There was nobody out here this time of day and they already had passes from the Principal’s office to excuse the class time they were missing. Nobody would notice a few more minutes.
“What do you mean you had to help me? Why did you have to?” Kurt asked bluntly, as soon as they were safely out of earshot from other students. “I mean, why now? Nobody ever has ever done anything before.”
Looking a bit unhappy with that reminder, Mike wrapped his arms around his waist and shrugged. “I saw it,” he said uncomfortably.
Confused, Kurt pressed, “Saw what?”
“Look, Kurt, don’t freak out, okay? There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you. Several somethings, actually, but . . .”
“But?”
He sighed, all but squirming in place. “You remember when Tina told the Principal that she was a vampire last year?”
Suddenly recalling all of his secret speculations, Kurt gulped. “Yeah.”
“It’s true. She gave me permission to share the truth when I told her I wanted to be honest with you about everything. Tina really is a vampire, and so am I. That story about our summer at Asian Camp? It was only partially true. It was actually the annual Asian Vampire Counsel and retreat. Our fathers are both members of the local chapter.”
“O . . . kay,” Kurt said slowly, inching backward away from the other boy. Given a choice between Mike being psychotic or vampiric, he wasn’t actually certain which possibility sounded worse. He might have just escaped one terror, only to fall right into the hands of an even worse one. He wondered if he could run fast enough to get back to the relative safety of the school. Weren’t vampires supposed to be unnaturally fast?
Mike stepped forward. “Please, don’t go! You don’t need to be afraid of me. I’m telling you the truth, and I’m not going to hurt you. I’d never do that. Look, there’s more.”
“Right,” Kurt said faintly. “Because finding out that my fellow glee-club members are a pair of blood-suckers isn’t enough news for one day.”
He smiled, looking a little sickly. “I guess you have a point there.”
“Go ahead,” Kurt decided, steeling his nerves and waving the other boy on. “Tell me all of it. If you don’t finish, I’m just going to be imagining all kinds of horrible things all night long anyway, so you might as well spill.”
“Okay, well first of all, Tina’s not my girlfriend. She’s just my regular friend, and she asked for my help to make Artie jealous enough to notice something besides his video games. She offered to help me in return because I was tired of hiding my true self, only I didn’t want to draw too much attention either. At this school nobody looks at you twice if you have a girlfriend.“
“I can’t deny that,” Kurt said bitterly, remembering last year when the only week he’d had where people hadn’t been calling him nasty names was the one where he’d gone trucker-chic and pretended to date Brittany Pierce.
“The thing is . . . I really like you, Kurt. I mean, I really like you. And I saw what was going to happen to you if I didn’t get my courage up and do something to help.”
Kurt’s mind was reeling. Had Mike Chang seriously just come out to him? As a gay, teenaged, Asian vampire? “So you’re . . .” He couldn’t quite bring himself to say it, instead just gesturing between the two of them. Mike nodded. “And you, um . . .”
“Have a thing for you,” Mike supplied. “Yes, I do. I watch you in glee club every day and wish that I could find the nerve to talk to you, or sing with you, or just sit next to you and hold your hand. I got scolded by Mr. Holloway and Miss Greeling in their classes last week because I was paying more attention to you than I was to whatever they’re saying. I stare at my ceiling every night thinking about what it would feel like to kiss you.”
Oh, wow. Now that was definitely more than Kurt had expected him to say. “You want to kiss me?” he blurted, then gulped and said, “And, and, drink my blood too?”
Mike laughed. “No, we don’t do that. We get ours delivered from the local blood bank on weekends. My uncle works there and whatever they can’t use for transfusions that week is stored for us. The impurities don’t affect vampires and I only need to feed once a week. Other than that, regular food.”
“Right,” Kurt said, taking another step back. “Sunday morning blood-feasting with the family. Nice normal breakfast. And what was that part about seeing what’s going to happen to me?”
Mike winced and scratched his floppy black hair. “We have visions sometimes,” he explained. “Not full-on mind reading or anything, but like, warnings. Flashes of information. It happens more when it’s someone you care about. I saw you being shoved around, and another time you were receiving death threats from Karofsky. He was towering over you, stealing something away from you, and you looked completely terrified, in a way I’ve never seen you before. I didn’t think the school was going to do anything to help you.”
“And so you decided it was time to take matters into your own hands, even if it meant outing yourself,” Kurt concluded, more touched than he had expected to be. “And Tina?”
“She noticed what was going on before I did,” Mike said, hanging his head with a shamed look. “She just didn’t know how to help.”
Kurt was not sure just why, the story was completely batty (no pun intended), but his gut instinct was to believe every word. “Thank you, for doing what you did. Even if you aren’t a vampire, taking a public stand for me is a big risk at this school, and I appreciate it.”
Mike looked up, face brightening. “And if I am? Tina told me how creeped out you are by our kind.”
“Only the fictional ones, with the bloody fangs and the bony claws and the . . .” he shivered. “Yech!”
The other boy laughed, clearly relieved. He opened his mouth, running his tongue tip over his teeth to get Kurt’s attention. Kurt gasped when the top canines abruptly grew about a half inch, sharpening as they went. At Mike’s will, the teeth shrank back to normal. “That part is true,” he said with a shrug, “but as you can see, it’s totally under my control. I’m standing in the sunlight, I’m not glittery, and I can’t turn into any kind of wildlife. I’m also not freaked out by crosses, though I imagine if you stuck a stake through my heart it wouldn’t do me any favors.”
Kurt stumbled backward, taking an abrupt seat on a parking lot divider. “You’re, I mean they’re, I mean . . . you really are?”
“I really am.”
He blinked, thinking this over. There didn’t seem to be any kind of mind game going on here. Mike wasn’t threatening to drink his blood, or seduce him to the dark side, or transform him into the undead. None of the creepy stuff that vampires in movies usually did. He was just a boy, who happened to also be a vampire.
Kurt perked up, suddenly remembering the other part of Mike’s revelation. “Were you tempting me in Glee yesterday. Like, supernaturally?”
Mike blushed. “I may have been trying to make you notice me a little more than usual,” he admitted.
“I did,” Kurt told him. “I thought I was imagining things.”
“What about now that you know you weren’t?”
Kurt held his hand out, allowing Mike to help him back to his feet. When he was upright again, he did not let go, instead giving Mike’s hand a little squeeze. He was thankful to realize that the flesh was warm, maybe a little bit more so than most people’s. “I could get used to having a vampire for a . . . a friend.”
“And what about more than a friend?” he asked hopefully.
Biting his lip thoughtfully, Kurt said, “Are you sure? There are worse things to be at this school than a vampire and I can’t be someone’s secret relationship. I deserve better than that. I want to be able to hold hands and be out and proud with whoever I’m with, but I can’t ask you to do that for me if you aren’t ready to do it for yourself. In spite of Principal Sue’s new found interest in protecting us, if you come out as gay, you may never experience a Slushie-free, Slur-free day again until we both graduate.”
“I’m not afraid,” Mike said confidently. “Tina’s with us, she already knows everything, and I’ll have to come out to them first, but I think the rest of the Glee kids will stand behind us if we become a couple. I know Mercedes, Brittany, and Puck will for sure, and Finn is going to be your brother soon. That’s more than half the group right there. I already faced the scariest obstacle anyway.”
“Telling me?” he asked, delight filling his entire body as he finally allowed himself to believe that Mike was serious about all this. Kurt had pretty much convinced himself that finding a vampire in Lima was far more likely than ever finding an openly gay boy who liked him.
He grinned. “Telling my mom! She had her heart set on a nice Asian girl, who would give her nice Asian vampire grand-babies. I had to tell her that she wasn’t getting any of those things.”
Kurt laughed. “This news isn’t going to be easy to break to my dad either,” he said. “Though the fact that you like football should help. What did your dad think? Or does he not know?”
“No, he knows,” Mike said, his good mood deflating a little. “He doesn’t care that I’m gay, or about who I’m dating. He doesn’t really care what I do as long as I keep my grades up, toe the line, and go to a good college where I can earn a business degree.”
Kurt squeezed his hand again, finding that he really liked doing so. “Well, you still have a year to convince him to let you do something else,” he said. “And I can distract him for you. I’m really good at keeping the books for my Dad’s garage. I’ve been doing it since I was twelve. Maybe it will make my non vampire self more appealing if we can convince him that your boyfriend knows his way around a balance-sheet.”
“My boyfriend?” Mike said, the smile creeping back over his lips.
Kurt smiled shyly and nodded. “Yeah. In fact, here’s something to think about when you’re staring up at your ceiling tonight.“ Stretching up just a tiny bit, he slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against Mike’s.
Mike smiled happily. “And you’re really not grossed out by the whole vampire thing?”
“Umm . . . no. I don’t think I am,” he decided. “Just don’t ever invite me over for Sunday brunch, okay?”
