Whatever you do don’t think about a world where Eddie is missing/presumed dead/in a coma/actually dead (that’s my least favorite option) and the will goes into effect which means Buck not only gets Chris but also Eddie’s estate.
Which means he gets his truck. The first truly selfish thing Eddie did was buy that truck with the dirty bloody fight club money, and now it’s Buck’s.
He stores it away somewhere, always having preferred the jeep, and it’s just easier to not think about most of the time.
But sometimes,on the bad days, when he misses Eddie like a limb, especially once the sheets on the bed and the clothes in the dresser stop smelling like him, and after Buck’s become nose-blind to the smell of Eddie’s bath products, Buck will spray just a tiny bit of Eddie’s cologne on one of his old shirt collars, and Buck will put it on, and he’ll hop in Eddie’s truck which is the only place that still *smells like him* and drive around.
And it’s just for him. He shares everything else with Chris, their coping mechanisms pulling together so you don’t know who came up with the idea for what. But not this, not the truck. That’s for Buck.
He even buys a St. Christopher medallion and digs out Eddie’s dog tags and hangs them from the rear view mirror. He leaves Eddie’s work duffle in the back, still full of his dirty clothes and uniforms, and there’s an old Astros hat somewhere and when Buck gets going on the freeway he can hear the water bottle he bought for Eddie rolling around on the floor.
And it’s his own private heaven and hell and confessional and baptismal font all at once.
Yeah, don’t imagine that, you’ll probably cry.
