#mmm pork

[theculinarycalendar]

Pork presa ; beef flank

[lizinprogress]

If you want your house/apartment/whatever to smell AMAZING, may I recommend slow-cooker carnitas?

Smells awesome. Tastes awesome. For the non-kosher meat-eaters out there... you’re welcome.

[elistariel]

So I'm was reading an article on Buzzfeed about Catcalling.

While I myself have been catcalled like uh once or twice. They barely register in my memory as at the time I did not give a shit and went about my business.

To be honest my response to all things totally depends on my mood at the time. So while if this ever happened, it'd be AWESOME, the reality is unless I was in a sassy mood I'd probably flat out ignore the person and go about my business. I excel at ignoring the shit out of people.

So if I were to ever get catcalled with a "hey girl did you know...." or, well actually if it wasn't worded like that it'd play off even better.

So here's what you say if someone catcalls you : "Did you know people taste like pork?" Just stare at them blank-faced for a bit. Maybe blink just a few times. Slight head tilt optional. As you slowly look them up and down say, "I haven't been to the store in months." Perse your lips a bit as if thinking about something, scrunch your nose as if to say "nah that one's not good enough" shrug and walk off. Let them play the creeper. Playing batshit insane is far more fun anyway.

Bonus points if you can be eating pork rinds out of a ziploc bag. 

So in short, if someone threatens you with unwanted sexual advances, counter-threaten them with cannibalism. Cannibals scare the shit out of everyone.

[smile-lines]

Body by Pork

Lauren, also known as my soulmate/wife