#mod kiana

[yourlgbtfriends]

It’s Friday the 13th

LGBTQ+ folk, empower yourself today!

breathe the air deeply

drink the water consistently

feel the ground below

focus on the fire inside you

wonder the stars

wander the present

You are alive.

I’m proud of you.

[yourlgbtfriends]

Being Out in My Family

As far as I know, there hasn’t been any LGBTQ family members. Or if there has, I just haven’t heard from anyone. I think I get why now. No one talks about it.

I met with my brother’s church family. I introduced myself with my neutral pronouns and only one person visibly accepted it. No one talked about it. I’m still uncertain if I’m grateful or not.

I asked my mother why she wouldn’t use my pronouns. She believes that there are only two genders, cause that’s what God says. I already know my father believes I am making a mistake and that he knows more what it means to be a woman than I do. They want me to stop talking about it.

I got to see my extended family for the first time in person since my coming out. Even though they typically like or comment on all my statuses, my coming out post was not one of them. No one used my pronouns or gender neutral language when referring to me, and I was too scared to talk about it. 

Then, one of my little cousins was looking at me funny before she said, “I can’t tell if you’re a girl or a boy.” I was startled, to say the least. How can I talk about this?

“I’m not a girl or a boy. I’m an enby,” I said, hoping that would be simple enough.

She stared hard at my face for a second before she lit up in realization. “I see!” She gave a little laugh, “Half of your face looks like a girl, and the other half looks like a boy!” She kept giggling about it. She didn’t really understand, and when I tried to explain my pronouns it seemed to go over her head. But I was happy to talk about it.

I’m not expecting to be accepted by my birth family, or at the very least not anytime soon. But I have people both online and in the real world that accept who I am and for now, that is enough. Thank you... for wanting to talk about living as who you are.

Mod Kiana

[yourlgbtfriends]

One of my supervisors didn’t use my correct pronouns today so later he pulled me aside to apologize.

“People don’t usually apologize, so thank you.”

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. They should.”

We then air fist bumped as I did my best to hold back tears.

[yourlgbtfriends]

So!!! I've been reading a lot about qpps and I was like?? "Wow that name is really long and complicated and hard to say." So I thought about it, and if anyone wants a short name for it I think "cupie" or "cupy" sounds nice! The u part is pronounced like in cupid (the whole word is like the letters qp said outloud). I was just thinking about it and it could be like "enby" is for nonbinary people!!! So you can call someone your cupie!!! -Kai

!!! I,,, love it???Mod Kiana

[yourlgbtfriends]

Does anyone have any advice for being trans in law enforcement, specifically corrections?

Personally I cannot offer advice, though I did find this website which has a lot of awesome sources for both trans people in law enforcement and trans citizens. The page has a chat that looks like you have to e-mail to be a part of it, and the Facebook group seems to have relatively recent happy remarks about it.

Sorry I can’t be of more help. If you know more, please do share!

Mod Kiana

[yourlgbtfriends]

Mighty Need for Gay Memes

I’m going through a tough time with my family right now and find myself in need of some good Gay Memes.

Please submit your favorite LGBT Memes and I’ll check them out when I am free (you’ll get extra points if it’s nonbinary or unapologetically gay).

Love y’all!

Mod Kiana

[yourlgbtfriends]

So there’s this person. And I’m not sure if I like them. I only feel REALLY attracted and all stupid-in-love with them when I see them and we’re together. Other times, without them, I don’t really feel like I like them. We dated before too and they still really like me. And I’m not sure if I should ask them out or just leave things the way they are. I’m not sure what’s going on with my feelings. I only feel this way towards them, no one else

Feelings are confusing, I can relate. My advice is if you can’t understand what you’re feeling, then try to look at the situation from different angles.

You’ve established you’re really attracted to this person when you’re together, which is great. Establishing at least one feeling can make this easier. Now, imagine yourself together with various labels (i.e. dating, married, queer platonic, partners in crime, friends, etc). See how they fit and feel. Try the same labels but imagine it as if you and the other person are separated over long distances. If the feelings under a label for both close and distance feelings match, then that may be the label you want to pursue.

If you can’t find any that seem right, then just let the flow of life take you until you can figure it out or forget about it. If you do find a label that feels good and you want to explore it further, do so (alone is fine, unless you feel ready to involve the other person in discussion). Personally I try to act only when I’m certain of my feelings and what I want out of a relationship.

Since a relationship is between two or more people, be sure to also consider the other’s feelings as well. But don’t force yourself into a situation you’re not comfortable with, even if you think it would make the other happy!

Best of luck! (and if others have more advice, please do add on)

Mod Kiana

[yourlgbtfriends]

i just listened to my mom misgender me for over half an hour. i'm out to her and she claims to be supportive but when she does stuff like misgendering me i tend to doubt that she accepts me for who i am

Many people experience this, and your best bet is to be direct.

In the majority of cases you can make clear to them that misgendering hurts you. And then you can ask, “Why did you do that?” Once we understand the reasoning behind someone’s actions, then we can proceed with the next step.

If it was an accident? Be clear that you want an apology and a correction. If it was purposeful? You can try to convince them to change their ways to use your mandatory pronouns. If it is another reason that I can’t think of? Then react accordingly.

Remember that there are people at there who will and do accept you for who you are. You are not alone.

Mod Kiana