#mod kieran

[stud10-h34dphones]

~ Blog Rules ~

So this is ooc, anyway. -No NSFW (ew why??? suggestive jokes are on ice though) -Don't be racist/queerphobic/ableist/sexist etc. wtf -Remember that I (the mod) am not the best at portraying other personalities, so please be patient if Headphones is OOC! -I'm okay with ships except for specs/headphones because I see them as related so ewiie!!! -Plots are fine -OC and other blog interaction is also fine idc :3 Some extra notes about my interpretation and brainthoughts about Headphones: -Headphones is a transfem demigirl who uses she/they on this blog -Headphones likes gardening and tends to gravitate towards cool-toned flowers specifically, they also like poetry sometimes! It's great for expressing her feelings artistically. -Headphones sometimes streams video games!!! They're trying their best.

Tags I will forget! phone.txt - not asks phone.ask - asks mod kieran - the mod talking! phone.chat - interactions

Also this blog is run by @leviathansnuggl !! Hihi

[problematic-fictive-culture-is]

problematic fictive culture is seeing something awful you did in sorce and going "oh my fucking god what was i thinking"

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[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

I've been having more and more frequent hallucinations and nightmares lately and I don't know what's causing it. I've accepted that I'll just have to deal with it until I can visit a proper psychiatrist, but do you have any good ways to distract yourself if you're spooked from a hallucination/nightmare?

hey anon!! psychosis and nightmares are awful, i'm really sorry you have to deal with them and i hope you manage to talk to a psychiatrist soon

everyone's experiences with psychosis and nightmares are a little different, as are how they cope with them, so it's entirely possible not everything i suggest will help you. here are some things that often help me:

for auditory hallucinations, i often find it very difficult to determine them as hallucinations when i have nothing to compare them to. i often find that causing a real sound - such as playing music, watching a video, talking to someone, etc - can help my brain differentiate between the hallucination and reality. i find this works well with tactile hallucinations as well. it doesn’t quite get rid of the hallucination, but i find it easier to work around it if i know for certain it's a hallucination

i also tend to find for both nightmares and hallucinations, leaving the environment i'm currently in for a bit, and getting some water/something to eat, helps. turning lights on, shutting any curtains/windows/doors, and playing music are all also things that help me feel safer after a bad nightmare/psychotic episode. if you have any comfort items/clothes, these may also help

some people recommend pointing out logical issues with hallucinations/nightmares. i Personally find that can make it worse, so that is something to be wary of before trying that - although it may very well help you

distractions that work for other mental health related issues also tend to work as distractions from hallucinations/nightmares for me. of course, which distractions work differ from person to person so i will link a couple of masterlists here - not all of them are specifically for mental illness related distractions, but i tend to find a lot of them helpful. as well as these, the usual grounding techniques/breathing exercises are good if the hallucinations/nightmares are particularly bad

i also find that physical sensations can be very grounding and distracting. in particular, i like splashing cold water on my wrists or holding a cold object, or having a weighted object on top of me

psychosis and how to deal with it is a very wide range that differs a lot across people, and i would recommend looking through supportive spaces for people with psychosis until you find coping methods that work specifically for you. i know tumblr has a lot of good psychosis-centric blogs, though you may have to scroll a bit for specific resources. i personally tend to find that things which help with my psychosis also help with my nightmares. all the best until you can see a psychiatrist!!

- mod kieran

[queerheartsclub]

announcement:

💝 enbies who are lesbians are valid!

💝 enbies who are gay men are valid!

💝 enbies of any sexuality are valid!!!!!!!!!!!!

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

Hi,

I have extreme feelings of shame for small failures or mistakes that I make and the feeling of shame is worse when someone knows of the mistake I made or if they laughed at it. These feelings sometimes last a very long time and repeat when I remember making a mistake (for months or even years). I tend to avoid going to places, thinking of memories etc. that remind me of it. For example I forgot where a grocery store was and then drove past it multiple times and now I take a different road to a different grocery store even when inconvenient.

Can you please offer advice? How can I avoid feeling this way?

hey anon. that sounds really difficult and painful to deal with, and i'm glad youre in a space where you can reach out for help. i hope you know logically that small failures and mistakes are present in everyone, and in no way are indications of your worth or make you inferior to others in any way - even if emotionally that is a hard thing to hear and understand. human brains are programmed to dwell on these mistakes to help you grow and learn from them, in order to better your chances of survival and quality of life, and this is amplified if at any point learning from small mistakes was necessary for survival.

however, the shame being painful enough that triggers associated with small mistakes are avoided to that degree is detrimental to you and your health. i think it would be important to remind yourself in those situations that the shame is amplified by a brain trying to protect you, and that it is no way indicative of your worth or ability - rather than to avoid the triggers all together. however, distractions while having to confront those triggers may be beneficial. for example, if on a drive to that grocery store you played loud music/a podcast or played games based around what you can see on the road/area (though don't do anything that could compromise your ability to drive to the best of your ability!!) it may help to rework the association of the grocery store in your brain to no longer trigger that shame. it also may help to remember that most of the time people don't notice these mistakes, and if they do they often forget them soon after. remember you can go at your own pace, and slowly learn to cope with the shame and its triggers. your journey is your own and you can take as long as you need!

here are some articles i've found relating to shame and its triggers, and how to cope with it. this one focuses on external shame, but the coping/understanding seems relevant.

- mod kieran

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

so sorry about that last ask lol, i forgot you guys changed accounts my bad

tw unreality, paranoia, hallucinations

hello! i wanted to ask, is it normal to feel like youre being watched all the time? like you feel like youre genuinely being watched over, and you know its not real but sometimes it really feels like it is real? sometimes i hear voices or see things that arent there, i sometimes conjure up stuff in my head that feels so real. i have vivid dreams, lucid dreams, and it gets confusing to know if im awake or asleep. i have false memories, i have so many false memories, and it makes me sad. i dont know whats real or not. i dont know what im feeling, i feel disconnected with reality, and its kinda scary but also comforting somehow. i feel as if ive been spectating over myself, judging every little thing i do, hyper aware yet not aware at all. my focus has been wiped out, i cant focus on much anymore, i lose my train of thought so easily. i dont know if im delusional. i sometimes forget myself, genuinely forget my name and my life, and i think of my past and see someone else, like im not me. that ive been a ghost thats been watching over me or something. while this is all exaggerated to an extent, theres no other way i know how to describe this, im sorry if its unclear. im sure it doesnt make much sense. massive brainfog is getting to me. ive been sleeping so much lately. maybe im depressed? i dont feel sad. not blank, not completely, but somewhat empty. sorry for rambling lol. hopefully one of you understands this, i sure dont, i think im being hypochondriac-ish with this. thanks in advance, hope youre all having a nice day/night!

hey anon. it doesn't sound like you're being a hypochondriac at all. it sounds incredibly difficult and scary to deal with.

it's definitely not normal in the sense of "is this a thing my brain should be doing/is this a thing neurotypicals will experience". however, all of those feelings/experiences are definitely common within mentally ill and traumatised people. so while its not "normal" as such, you are definitely not alone in experiencing this, and there are so many people who will be able to understand, relate, and help you.

this sounds like it could have many causes and may be a result of one, or a mixture of many. from reading through it sounds like it could be/could be influenced by psychosis (hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, etc), or dissociation. however, it could very easily also be other things, and my best advice would be to associate with mentally ill and traumatised communities in order to hear about other people's experiences and see what you feel matches what you're currently experiencing. from there you will have a good idea of what's going on, and how other people cope with it. a lot of these sound like very common experiences people with cptsd have, so i would reccomend looking into cptsd specifically for understanding and help. however, as a starting point, here are some resources explaining psychosis and delusions, and some ways people cope with them.

this is not easy to deal with, and i'm glad you can reach out. i wish you all the best.

- mod kieran

[queerheartsclub]

some dni banners to yeet nasty people away

[rainbowkuriboh]

Been quiet on all fronts for a few days because we were outra town (travel is exhausting) for a couple days and then today we've been fighting off what feels like it could be a monster migraine. Today we've barely done anything but rest