jesus christ i love my mood stabilizer. my psychiatrist pitched it to me as “many people’s ‘happy pill’” and i was a little mad because what have i been on for the past four years if not an ineffective happy pill. tbf SSRIs have been effective in making my suicidal status going from active ideation and occasional attempts -> more casual, rare passive ideation. ideal for staying alive through high school. but holy moly i am Joyful on this new med. like i’m skipping to the bus stop type shit. i’m smiling for no reason. ohhh my god. like i haven’t been MISERABLY depressed in a little while, but i would get deep deep dips into misery and despondent distress. no more!
my stims are joyful instead of nervous. my yippees are unironic. my silly stays sillying. they haven’t dulled my sparkle… they haven’t stolen my whimsy… i am no longer weighed down by the intense doubt. i mean we have the Deep Seated Issues but the daily woes are missing
the only concerning side effect is that i have to be on the lookout for the rash that kills you. i am yet to get this so we are #chilling
