#mpnr engineer

[tf2husbandryofficial]

hello, again. this may or may not be the last time ill be asking you anything.

do you remember the engineer that followed me around? i and the medic found him dead. shot by humans. mosy likely those so-called 'cryptid hunters', or law enforcement, or something.

tomorrow, i will have an entire town to massacre, most likely. for today, i leave my friend in your care. please tell the medic im sorry.

-tv head cryptid

Hello, I'm happy to inform you that I am air dropping several of my fellow employees at your house to help you plan and execute your revenge against those who have needlessly murdered mercenaries in your private forest. They will also help keep you safe.

This is a message that clarifies that I, MPNR at large, and YTI are not legally responsible for actions taken by you and your peers and that we are not officially recognising or aware of any potentially illegal plots happening against any persons. Employees of MPNR are legally responsible for themselves and their actions separate of MPNR and MPNR does not keep tabs on employees while they are off the island that the facility is located on.

Have a legal day,

- SF

[tf2husbandryofficial]

this might sound absolutely insane, but- m. maybe. just maybe. y’all could, potentially,, get some Engineers to make a few automatons for you, just to deal with smaller tasks, so that you’d have more time to sleep. maybe.

I'm jjust tired enough that this sounds like a good idea.

-Dr J Peake

[tf2husbandryofficial]

hey so if I were to maybe hypothetically um, have an engineer who is super focused on trying to give me bionic legs (I have totally fine legs) what would I do since I would like to keep my legs

Leaving is always a good Solution! Although, if the Engineer is accompanied by a Medic er,,, Your legs might not Work as Well as you Think they do

-Good Luck, Dr. Seraphin

[tf2husbandryofficial]

Hello! I hope it's okay if I ask a question! I have always wanted to see a Ranch of Engineers in real life, but I am not sure how close I can get to them, so I wanted to ask the experts on how to proceed! What precautions do I need to take? Where can I find them? And, most importantly, can I take pictures of these majestic creatures?

I hope everyone has a nice day, evening or night! :)

Sorry for the delay! Had to dredge this one out from the lake after an unfortunate accident involving a pair of pliers and an orange juice-soaked sponge, and then there was all the forensic stuff after that, and then I accidentally misplaced it. I accidentally rolled it up into a ball and used it to prop up the wobbly chair in my office! Isn't that just a silly coincidence! Anyway I think Dr. Frost is going to [REDACTED] my spiders again if I don't answer this soon so here goes nothing.

Naturally occurring ranches are actually somewhat rare since most engineers are fairly possessive of projects and machines, and are also raging perfectionists and control freaks that don't really do the best in scientific environments with other people. That said, it's not impossible! I have known of a few fairly sizable ranches developed mostly across the American south, in junkyards or plains where there's plenty of space to work. That said, I'm legally obligated to say that I do not recommend initiating contact with any you might see on your own! While Engineers are generally friendly and cooperative, they are deceptively dangerous and if you don't know what you're doing and you piss them off it will not be a fun time for you. Trust me on this one. Last time I accidentally insulted one of their mothers I basically had to move continents and I still live in fear. I'll leave it at an Engineer worth its salt probably knows how to disassemble and "upgrade" all of your appliances so that whenever you walk into the kitchen to get a bag of shredded cheese from the fridge your microwave sprays you with water and then starts making fun of you and then calls the police while HEAVILY exaggerating the number of corpses you have stashed in your basement.

Anyway, this is a roundabout way of saying we have plenty of ranches here at the Reserve with many photographic opportunities and all it'll cost you is the entrance fee, a few dozen hours to sign safety waivers, and whatever I've already deducted from your bank account in the time I've spent answering this message. Your safety is of relatively high priority here at MPNR! We appreciate your interest in our mercenaries and on behalf of our legal team we hope you have a great day!

Love, Lead Researcher & PR Specialist & Tuna Despiser, Bungus

[tf2husbandryofficial]

help there has been a medic AND an engineer following me for the past 30 minutes trying to figure out what the fuck is up with my head AND THEY WILL NOT STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS THAT I WOULD GLADLY ANSWER IF I KNEW HOW MY HEAD TURNED INTO A TV.

how can i get them to stop bugging me about my head? i dont mind the company i just mind the questions.

Yeah, uh, unfortunately they're not gonna be dissuaded from that. Medics and Engineers are intensely curious and there is unfortunately a strong chance that if you are unable to give them a satisfactory answer they will attempt to obtain answers themselves.

this should be avoided at all costs.

-- Dr J Peake

[tf2husbandryofficial]

Hiya! I've noticed a medic following an engie around on my street lately and I'm a mite concerned. Is the medic going to attack the engie? If they do should I help the engie?

Chances are the Medic is just observing, for whatever reasons it deems important. All I can say is if it wanted to attack the Engineer the Engineer would've been attacked. Patience or foresight is not commonly among a Medic's qualities. If I had to guess, the Medic's simply taken an interest in the Engineer's activities and is doing its best to observe, or it could just be yet another strange example of a bonding ritual. Most Medics and Engineers seem to have an understanding of friendship that's vastly different from the human concept. Of course, I have many friends everywhere so I know exactly what the human concept of friendship is like.

If it helps you sleep at night, Medics rarely attack Engineers unless provoked, since Engineers are useful to have around, not annoying, and are very dangerous to even a Medic. At worst they'll tolerate each other and usually leave each other alone, and at best they can tend to form relationships mutualistic in nature and use their combined knowledge to work towards, undoubtedly, scientific crimes against nature. My personal tip is just to leave them to their own devices; whatever's happening, I'm sure they'll manage to sort it out, and if it did turn out to be something violent in nature for some reason it's probably for the best you didn't get involved because you will die.

That said, if your local graveyard suddenly starts losing corpses or abandoned buildings near you start glowing bright colors at random intervals it might be a good idea to call us so we can come check up on the situation at hand.

Love, Lead Researcher & PR Specialist & Spider Army General, Bungus

[tf2husbandryofficial]

I’m working on my car since a thing broke, and an engineer is just watching me, I know about the wearing purple thing and I’m doing that, should I be concerned? Knowing what engineers sometimes do I’ll be concerned anyways if he approaches but should I worry if he just keeps watching?

Engineers are naturally drawn towards machinery--particularly machinery that's being actively worked on. Additionally, unlike most other mercs, engineer generally will not attack you unless provoked. Most likely, it sees something it's interested in and is just looking!

Chances are, as well, that it knows English and is open to communicate. If you're really concerned--I know this seems like the opposite of what you should do, but bear with me--you can approach the engineer (with care) and ask it what it's doing, and if you're feeling especially brave (and don't mind a few unwanted most likely weaponized additions to your truck), you might be able to ask it for assistance if you think it'd be necessary or fun.

Legally I don't condone interacting with any mercs and any grave injury or death that may come from it is not my liability, to be clear. As long as you're careful, that said, it should be fine!*

*if you are negatively impacted in any way it will be considered as a result of you not being careful. I, along with the rest of MPNR, have never been responsible for anything ever. Thank you.

Love, Lead Researcher & PR Specialist & Real Life Gay Person, Dr. Bungus

[tf2husbandryofficial]

I have an amputated arm and an engineer keeps following me wanting to replace it, would it be a particularly bad idea to accept his help

They like Replacing limbs so No!

-I hope you like Your new Superpowered Bionic Arm, Dr. Seraphin