#mpnr medic

[tf2husbandryofficial]

There's a medic wandering around my farm without a shirt. it doesn't appear aggressive, in fact quite the opposite, but I don't trust like that. it also keeps flirting with my farmhands. send help.

How fascinating. A very flirty shirtless Medic who is very friendly? I am on my way to retrieve that Medic right now. He’ll be very safe and happy here at MPNR.

- SF

[tf2husbandryofficial]

HELPHELPHELP- I FUCKED UP- MYMEDICISPISSEDOHGOD-

Point behind it, yell "ACHTUNG, SPY!" as loudly as you can, and run. Once you are no longer in immediate danger of vivisection, contact me again with exactly what you did to piss it off.

-Dr J Peake

[tf2husbandryofficial]

I gave the Heavy that’s been kinda pseudo-living in my backyard this dish called Toast Hawai’i and he just stared at it, then me, and his Medic friend started looking a little angry so I just kinda. ran

Ah, yeah... unless you have a particularly good relationship with the Heavy it's generally best to stick with Russian and Slavic dishes, as they're more familiar. The Medic is definitely the one you want to look out for, as Medics are much more volatile than Heavies are.

[tf2husbandryofficial]

i have replaced the brains of a scout with a fish brain.

-TV head's friend

Good thing you didn’t do that within the confines of MPNR. I think that would both highly offend our OSHA representative and count as an OSHA violation somehow.

- SF

[tf2husbandryofficial]

what are some fun facts about Medics?

-They can tell the difference between blood types by taste.

-They can tell the difference between human and animal blood by scent

-The success rate on their surgeries is absurdly high

-It's not uncommon for a Medic to bluff their way into an emergency room to save a critically injured patient, only to immediately fuck off with a cheery Auf Wiedersehen! as soon as they're done.

-or they'll show up at the bedside of someone with a "mystery" illness and either accurately diagnose them or bully the doctor attending them into running certain tests. Kinda like House but more likely to commit homicide.

-Most of the conflict between Medics and other classes and humans arises from the fact that Medics are easily bored. A medic thrives best in a high stress environment, with patients constantly in need of care. Outside of that environment they rapidly resort to experimentation to keep themselves occupied.

-Do not let Medics near alcohol outside of Oktoberfest.

Dr Jessie Peake, Resident Medic Expert and Part Time Crustacean.

[tf2husbandryofficial]

how are y’all? Also, a question: what are your favorite experiences with mercs?

I'm doing okay! My favorite experience with a Merc is a tie between the time a traded a scalpel with a Medic for [REDACTED] and the many good conversations I've had with Pyros in sign language!

-Dr Seraphin

[tf2husbandryofficial]

hello, again. this may or may not be the last time ill be asking you anything.

do you remember the engineer that followed me around? i and the medic found him dead. shot by humans. mosy likely those so-called 'cryptid hunters', or law enforcement, or something.

tomorrow, i will have an entire town to massacre, most likely. for today, i leave my friend in your care. please tell the medic im sorry.

-tv head cryptid

Hello, I'm happy to inform you that I am air dropping several of my fellow employees at your house to help you plan and execute your revenge against those who have needlessly murdered mercenaries in your private forest. They will also help keep you safe.

This is a message that clarifies that I, MPNR at large, and YTI are not legally responsible for actions taken by you and your peers and that we are not officially recognising or aware of any potentially illegal plots happening against any persons. Employees of MPNR are legally responsible for themselves and their actions separate of MPNR and MPNR does not keep tabs on employees while they are off the island that the facility is located on.

Have a legal day,

- SF

[tf2husbandryofficial]

apparently someone had the brilliant idea of leaving a child merc after seeing that i had two following me. the medic grabbed it and i had to chase that fucker all the way to a medical clinic cause i didnt want him to, i dunno, murder someone, but im not sure what to do with the kid afterwards. i should not be trusted with children.

please pick up the kid i think he might do better with other snipers (i think thats what he is.)

if you must know i live in a shack in a forest. just look for a broken tv in a tree and you wont be too far.

I already know where you live, not to worry. I will come extract the child mercenary and will be able to properly identify what class it is. I doubt the Medic was going to cause the child any particular harm, but you never know with Medics.

- SF