#multiple miscarriage

[wishing-on-angels]

6 February 2020

I seem to only really post updates around the times of my appointments.

My next appointment is tomorrow at 1pm, which means that I'll end up seeing the doc around 2pm. (There's always a long wait.) Tomorrow we get to see the baby again! Depending on how far along the baby is measuring- should be between 8 weeks 6 days and 9 weeks 2 days- I'll hopefully be able to have the blood test done tomorrow to find out the gender. If the baby is measuring more like 9+weeks then I'm pretty sure they'll do it. With having two previous miscarriages and being super impatient, I want to know as soon as I can!

Everyone in my family is convinced that the baby is a girl. I have this gut feeling that it's a girl, but I really want a boy. My husband wants a girl. Honestly, we'll be happy as long as the baby is healthy!

Also, this is very important: this is as long as I've ever carried. So this feels like a really good thing. I'm very hopeful!

[wishing-on-angels]

So, we had a scare.

On the afternoon/evening of the first, I started to have some light spotting. I thought all was lost and immediately told everyone I was starting to miscarry (as I thought I was). My husband refused to give up hope, saying he wasn't letting go of his baby. Cut to the next morning I had an appt at the GYN. The doc took my levels, did a pelvic exam, and an internal ultrasound. She said I was perfectly on track for four weeks pregnant. She told me that it was most likely just implantation bleeding. The bleeding/spotting all but stopped by that morning and hasn't come back. I'm counting this miracle!

Please keep praying.

[wishing-on-angels]

31 December 2019 12:57AM

I'm at the ER right now for a UTI, the nurse (who happens to know me, because I'm here a lot) ran out to tell me that I was pregnant! He let me take a video of him saying it for my husband! I'm so excited!

I've got a rainbow on board! I pray God lets me keep them!

[wishing-on-angels]

Some days are a lot harder than others. Some days the feeling of loss just hits you like a bus. Sometimes it hits you so suddenly as if it just happened. I miss my Riley and Jay so very much.

(Our rainbow is doing good. I'm just over six weeks.)

[wishing-on-angels]

These were taken this morning (11 DPO), after having my pregnancy confirmed by ER staff last night! This is how I told my parents and sister.

[wishing-on-angels]

30 December 2019

I got another faint positive this afternoon! It wasn't even my first pee!

Prayers please. 💗

[wishing-on-angels]

29 December 2019

I tested this morning and got a faint positive. Both my husband and I are reluctant to believe it, but still excited! I'm praying that I actually am pregnant and that God allows us to keep this angel. 💗 Prayers please!

It's been almost a year since we found out we were going to have our first baby and lost them. This little one would be such a blessing!

[wishing-on-angels]

On 7 January 2019 my husband and I found out I was pregnant with our first child. We were overjoyed. Though we tried to hold it in, we couldn't help telling everyone. We were so very excited. We were already in love with this baby. However, on 9 January 2019, I miscarried our precious gift.

After a month of grieving and waiting through an in between period, we found out I was pregnant with our second child on 11 March 2019. We immediately told everyone again. We hoped and prayed that God would allow us to keep this child. They had already filled us with so much love for them. On 26 March 2019 (the same day that my husband left for bootcamp), I miscarried our second precious gift.

I love our angels with all my heart and would give anything to have been able to save them. I know that they are safe where they are. I know that they will never be cold or hungry or hurt. But the selfish part of me wants them here with me. I will never be whole again. I will never stop missing them. My love for them will forever be a constant.