#murder plans

[saltedsolenoid]

"hehehehe.... finally.... my army of children GROWS.... i shall soon be able to overtake the tunes family... and finally.... steal Sumi Tunes' world famous instant ramen recipe.... MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

also all my kids are tax deductables"

[s0lar-ch3ri]

plans for heather duke/heather BITCH (spoiler: maybe dont read with when your parents are lookin) (tw: framing, heather duke, pills, destruction, chaos /j, drugs)

MY REGULAR POSTING STYLE'S BACK! yeah, lets do this (credit to @arcadianxanadus for listening to this bs) so knowing the bitchyness of heather duke, ive made a worse-than-murder plan for her, feel free to use it against other fictional (and maybe real i dont judge for much) characters. so, i will steal all of heather duke's pill (like the one she offered to the other heather that idfc to know the name of rn) bottles and put them into a launcher that i will have already built. then i will attach said launcher onto her parents car and drive it into her house while she is home. then using a button i had also made before this i will launch the closed pill bottles at her. after giving her severe trauma, i will then roll down the driver's window and yell to her "no one will ever believe you!" as i drive the car out and into a place she "had plans" to go with friends or smth with, in reality i also hacked her phone and made ones she didnt know bout, and escape out the car. since theres probs gonna be cameras, i will wear the shittiest cardboard mask of her face, like it looks like it was made by a very stupid 5 year old with even the fucking smiley face, and her exact clothes. after i escape, ill burn the clothes but not the mask. the police will then arrest her for destroying private property and doing drugs as a minor (idk the actual term or if there is one) as i also secretly sprinkled cocaine all over the room. she will then go to jail and when i get visitation hours, i will walk over and just whisper into the phone, "see, i told you no one would believe you." which sets her to try to attack me. as she is dragged away by two guards, i pull out the cardboard mask and she freezes in shock, terror, and anger. yes this totally could happen what do you mean im crazy

[ask-john-and-sherlock]

Say, Sherlock what is the most common sourse of methyl isocyanate? Asking for a friend

Sherlock: Thankfully, I’ve had use for this before.

John: You’ve WHAT-

Sherlock: It’s commonly found in pesticides, usually under the name of isocyanatomethane. I’ve done a few studies on its levels of toxicity.

John: Toxicity how?

Sherlock: A minute dosage can cause multiple organ failure. Wouldn’t do for murder, though.

John: …Sorry, what?

Sherlock: It leaves a very sharp scent behind. Easily identifiable- although, if you wished to burn the body, (which is a foolish endeavour) it would be far easier due to its high flammability.

John: I’m starting to think you might be a serial killer.

Sherlock: If anyone would like to know my perfect murder plan, I’d be happy to let you know!

[funnyordie]

I'm busy all weekend

[feaksandgreeks]

If I ever kill someone I’m going to collect random loose hairs from hundreds of people know beforehand just in case and leave them all at the scene so they never find me and have to interview everyone.

That will show waiters. 

[ask-john-and-sherlock]

Saw your murder plans, Aconite, is it ''that hard'' to lay your hands on the flower?

John: This site is full of bloody murderers!

Sherlock: Oh, it’s rather easy. You can order it almost anywhere. The beauty of modern infrastructure.

John: Why are you helping-

Sherlock: Although I would not recommend it for murder. Given how common it is, and how messy the results are, I’d stick to a nerve toxin or something like that. Aconitum is also dangerous to handle, and any reasonable police force will investigate your internet records if you are a suspect.

John: Christ.

Sherlock: Try nicotine. If the victim is a regular smoker, you can dissolve cigars or cigarettes in a drink. It will most likely cause a nicotine overdose, and the detectives will assume it was a case of smoking too much.

John: Have you killed people?

Sherlock: Nonsense. I just practice on the Anderson in my mind palace.

[sularis]

i’m glad that my discord dad approves my murder plans, even tho i never planned a murder, but a book based on figuring out who murdered who

still glad dad is proud of me being able to plan a murder

feels reasuring

[mathnerd154]

Remember that whole patient therapist confidentiality thing? Just so people know, that doesn't apply when harm to people is involved. So don't tell your therapist your murder plans. Legally he has to report you.