Aug 24, 2023
My Personal Problem #3 (Steinway, 1958)
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My Personal Problem #3 (Steinway, 1958)
(1958)
i wish i could sit down and just write and take pride in what i have accomplished instead of over-analyzing every line
When you want to talk to someone you usually go and message them saying hello and start there. My ass though does the stupidest things.
What’s worse? A 10 hour Jeopardy music or a 1 hour Mii theme song?
I’m going to draw/write and listen to music if anyone needs me.
Me, sweating desperately, planning any DCMK fic: How does one plan a murder when every murder has already been done?
I feel like a shitty daughter.
My school is organizing the annual journey to London for our last year and some minutes ago i told my mom about it.
"But you're going to Malta" was her response ans i was like "yeah, so?"
"So it's € for Malta and then another € for your extra course. We can't afford it"
And i was speechless.
This travel is my dream: go to London and make good memory for my last year of school and she just...kill it unintentionally.
I know we have financial problems, but not so big.
And i feel so bad for throwing a scene when she said that to me.
She probably feels a lot worse than me: she feels like she should give me everything in the world but she can't do it and i rub it in her face.
And if i fail the exam i have tomorrow, for which i didn't study at all, i have to find someone that will help me.
And so my parents have to spend money on me again.
And some day ago i talked with my dad about my anxiety problems and the fact that i think i have some form of depression and that i want to see a psychologist
I waited four hear to say that to him and then my mother because i didn't know what to do, how to approach the discourse.
And he was angry at me.
He started to yell at how the problem was my phone and that i couldn't be depressed because i knew nothing about life, because i was young and i have a perfect and beautiful family that love me!
He know about my medical problem and the fact that it can cause depression if not treated, like in my case.
His answer? Nah, this shit can't happen to you!
At the same time i feel so angry at my parents because they are not taking seriously what I'm saying to them, but i also know is a lot to take and that they have been trough it when i was little (my dad said that i went to a psicologist when and that they have to be under analysis and that it awful and afraid for them)
FOR THEM! LIKE I'M NOT CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP, NOO.
I don't want to be treated like i have some strange illness.
I don't want to take psychotic drugs.
I want to solve this problem but every time i talk with an adult about it, i receive the same answer "beautiful family, less phone, more chamomile"
I just feel so bad now.
My Personal Problem #2
Apparerntly the village in Moana is called Motunui.
And I’m like
Bionicle?