I'm bored so I rewatched Batman vs Superman
The opening is cool. *Puts the whole movie into 1.25x speed*
"Things that fall... is fallen." Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
Love how Alfred is just going "Bruce, it's okay! Bruce! Bruce!" in the distance.
The cinematic of Thomas and Martha dying is kind of cool. But it's also pretty stupid. The gun somehow got caught in Martha's pearl necklace in such a way where the string is plucked and pulled by the barrel?
The guy clearly realised what was going on, slow motion or not, there was enough time for him to not shot, and he did anyways.
Bruce is the single pearl that fell through the grates and into the sewers. I know that's not actually what Zack Snyder intended and I have feeling he didn't even think of it like that, but that's how I'm choosing to interpret it as.
Bruce seeing bats and was so traumatised, he decided to re-write it in his head as him being carried up by their swarm and out of the well he fell through. That tracks, yeah.
I like that Bruce is going to Metropolis instead of staying in Gotham. Shows that he's ready to interfere even as just regular Bruce.
Affleck is... Conventionally attractive. Honestly, I think he carries what Bruce would look like older, pretty well. As Batman though with the suit on? No.
In some ways, Affleck is suited to play as Bruce Wayne, but not Batman. And that's the distinction. If the actor can only play as Bruce or Batman, and can't do both, I'm not sold on it.
Kind of like Bruce looking up into the sky, wearing a blue suit with shades of black and grey. Maybe the costuming department knew what they were doing. I'm not going out of my way to look up interviews, sorry.
The cut from the disaster to Jimmy and Lois somewhere in the Middle East is so side-plot-y.
If Batman vs Superman were a seasonal-run show, this part would be one the episodes that's unrelated to the previous one.
I... Don't like that Jimmy is part of the CIA. I don't like that Jimmy isn't even part of the Daily Planet, at all. I don't know, it just doesn't feel right.
"I'm not a lady, I'm a journalist :)" Okay, I guess?
Lois just sat down and her first question is "Are you terrorist, General?" Riveting questions, Lois. Certainly the person you're asking if they're a terrorist is going to answer you with a succinct, frank and honest answer. And not at all evade the question.
"God help us all." "Superman won't listen. Not even, I think, to god." Get it, guys? Get it? Because Superman is the god, oh may gawd!
The Gotham cops are watching a College Football match. And considering that Cyborg is part of the DCEU Justice League, this was probably a clue.
I also don't understand why Cyborg is part of the Justice League. I don't mean, "why is part of this group of heroes," what I mean is why is Cyborg is who a 21 year old child in a group with a bunch of adults? No one thought, "hey, maybe having a child be part of the group full time isn't a great idea". No one offered or thought to mentor Victor first? Just straight into being a founding member? Okay.
Clark fucks. Yeah, we been knew.
I'm not saying that Amy Adams and Henry Cavill are bad actors, they're just not fit for the roles they're playing.
All Henry Cavill does is clench his jaw real hard and frown and glare at people who isn't Lois. And even in Man of Steel, he still looked like he didn't want to be standing or being touched by Lois.
Amy Adams is a very attractive woman, and I understand that this role is serious. But she doesn't... Carry the same "oomph" that Lois has. Her take on Lois is more fumbling around, in a sense. I'll touch on this when I get into analyzing.
"Nothing has changed, Alfred. We're criminals, we'll always be criminals," okay.
I understand where and what they're going for with Lex. But he's a very... Talkative Lex, that's for sure.
Bruce in Batman v Superman is what Lex is in the Superman '25 movie.
Lex is exactly like Lex in the Superman '25 movie, except in this one, Lex is talking, and talking, and talking. And he brought the senators in a lab. Instead of them being in an office.
Not going to lie, I do like the whole switch from present to past when whoever is talking to Lex about what he wants access to. And Lex says, "Complete access to the crash Kryptonian space ship?" It cuts to him actually going there, then we're brought back to the past where he asks for Zod's body, so on and so forth.
One thing I do like about Cavillsupes is him being hairy. We rarely get hairy Clark/Superman on the screen. And that's pretty much about it.
I completely forgot what happened in Man of Steel, so I have no idea why there's already an erected monument of Superman kneeling down on the people.
Wow, a rare little side-quest of Clark "investigating" in Gotham. I forgot why he's in Gotham, just that he's there looking for someone to interview.
Bruce Wayne in an underground illegal brawl. Yes, no one question why a multi-billionaire is there.
Lex is an orphan, oooohhh, how riveting.
"The devils don't come the hells beneath us. No, they come from the sky." Get it, guys? Get it!? BEcause SUPERMAN CAME FROM SKY!
Bruce's DCEU suit is so fucking ugly.
We see Bruce butt ass naked because all the male fans need to jerk off material without feeling like it's gay.
Why is Diana looking at Bruce? Is this supposed to be a moment of "She knows he's Batman?" Because all I'm picking up from it is that she's just checking him out.
Gal Gadot, putting away her political biases and her history, is also conventionally attractive. This movie is just a gathering of conventionally attractive people.
I'm sure that Henry Cavill and all the other actors in this movie are great in a different movie. But handing a shitty script to an actor and expecting them to be able to act that script that works doesn't always work. There are actors out there who can make bad, shitty scripts work. Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Gal Gadot, and even Ben Affleck cannot make a shitty script work because they're not that kind of actors.
I'm so tired, this movie is so fucking shit.
This movie would've worked so much better if it was some kind of serialized show, all these side-quests and cutting from one unrelated scene to another unrelated scene is what makes this movie so confusing and convoluted.
I want to give the benefit of doubt and say that I'm sure Zack Synder's a good director. This isn't his best directed movie.
"Save Martha," Clark he doesn't fucking know who your mother is. For all Bruce knows, you're just some suited up flying man who goes and sulks and broods in the Arctic.
Who the fuck calls their mother by her first name?
CGI Mess.
