Achilles POV:
He completed me, he was everything I never was. I loved him with everything I had. I would be a hero who was happy, that was our secret– because he was with me. We were Together
And he was mine to protect. My Patroclus
Because he was half my soul. As the poets say.
Countless of nights I would wait for him to fall asleep, so I could turn over and memorize every part of his face in the darkness, pull in close enough to feel his breath mixed with mine .I would tangle my fingers in his brown curls carefully so I wouldn’t wake him up.
Patroclus.
I stood on the ridge waiting, my guts twisted like knots inside me. Where is he?
When they came back. When they...when they brought him.
His Lifeless body in front of me
No no ...please no, please no no no please
My were legs heavy – so heavy pulling me down to my knees, I took him in my arms. I shook him hard to wake him up.
I screamed the pain tearing through my lungs- like waves one after the other. Later I was told – my voice was echoed through out the beach. My throat was swollen, and my mouth tasted of blood.
Revenge was born in me, and it hungered only for one person. I closed my eyes, welcoming the rage at my very own words that was said so innocent once, tasted now like poison.
“What has Hector ever done to me?”
I was suffocating while breathing. My soul was been ripped apart repeatedly. And what value does my soul have without him? I don’t want it! Take my soul, please take it now! I don’t want the glorious death, let me die a coward here now, so I can see my Patroclus again.
I wept into exhaustion, holding his body for days.
I woke up beside him, hoping it was all a nightmare. I begged him to come back to me, and felt his echoing voice linger in our tent. His absence was suffocating me.
This was all my fault – Hades swallow me whole. And let Patroclus wander among the stars.
I am the coward – and he was the sun and stars shining ever so brightly.
He was the Hero. My salvation. My Patroclus