The Silmarillion with accurate chapter titles
Ainulindalë: What Happened At Band Camp Should Have Stayed At Band Camp
Valaquenta: Good Luck Remembering All These Names
Of The Beginning Of Days: Melkor Is Evil And Breaks Furniture
Of Aulë And Yavanna: This Creation Myth Was Obviously Written By Elves
Of The Coming Of The Elves And The Captivity Of Melkor: The Valar Decide To Do Something And Accidentally Destroy A Continent In The Process (1)
Of Thingol And Melian: Future Opponent Of Interspecies Marriage Marries Woman From Another Species
Of Eldamar And The Princes Of The Eldalië: Good Luck Remembering These Names Too, But At Least The City Is Called Tuna
Of Fëanor And The Unchaining Of Melkor: Abort Mission, Abort Mission
Of The Silmarils And The Unrest Of The Noldor: Fëanor Tells The God Of Chaos To Get Off His Lawn
Of The Darkening Of Valinor: Spiders Were A Mistake
Of The Flight Of The Noldor: Fëanor Was A Mistake
Of The Sindar: Meanwhile In Beleriand A Lot Happens But We Don’t Care
Of The Sun And The Moon And The Hiding Of Valinor: The Valar Have One Bright Idea
Of Men: Just Get To The Action Already
Of The Return Of The Noldor: A Series Of Unfortunate Diplomatic Incidents
Of Beleriand And Its Realms: The Geography Lesson Literally Nobody Asked For
Of The Noldor In Beleriand: Obvious Foreshadowing Is Obvious
Of Maeglin: Curufin Chooses The Worst Possible Moment To Not Be A Kinslayer
Of The Coming Of Men Into The West: Haleth’s Dad Is Called Haldad And That’s All You Need To Know
Of The Ruin Of Beleriand And The Fall Of Fingolfin: If You Thought This Would Have A Happy Ending You Haven’t Been Paying Attention
Of Beren And Luthien: Werewolf Cosplay And Unrealistic Relationship Goals
Of The Fifth Battle: Nirnaeth Arnoediad: If You Thought This Would Have A Happy Ending You REALLY Haven’t Been Paying Attention
Of Turin Turambar: Despite The Incest And Dragons This Is Not Game Of Thrones
Of The Ruin Of Doriath: Hurin Destroys Everything His Son Missed
Of Tuor And The Fall Of Gondolin: That’s What You Get When You Ignore Obvious Foreshadowing
Of the Voyage of Eärendil and the War of Wrath: The Valar Decide To Do Something And Accidentally Destroy A Continent In The Process (2)
Akallabêth: What Happened In Atlantis Should Have Stayed In Atlantis
Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age: Oh Good, Gandalf Is Here
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