Yeah, well, I have a handful of awesome friends, I asked two of them a lot, since December, but nothing worked out and at some point they kinda just didn't answer to things on time. So I stopped asking them. Within the 5 months, there were only two times when we were about to hang out but they said we had to reschedule but they didn't make the effort to ask me when I'm free next. (I didn't want to be the one to make the effort for that 'cause I've done everything I could already.) Being the one asking all the time is sickening, you know? I'd like to think they didn't stop liking me as a friend or something. But, that came to my head a bunch of times.
The rest of the handful of people that I would do stuff with are good people, but we've definitely just drifted a bit. So that doesn't sadden me as much as not seeing my best friends.
If I had to give the number of the only people I need to talk to and see regularly, it would be 3 at least, 5 max. One of them, Charles, is one of my best friends, no questions asked. The dude has a full time job and other people to commit to but he always makes time for me. Even when I'm broke, he asks me to hang out and pay for me just 'cause he wants me to be able to hang out with him and some other guys. Another would be Sasha, I've known her only for about a year, but she's been a really nice friend for the past several months, you know, putting a lot of effort to see me even though we're still new friends, she pays for me sometimes too.
Now, two of those would be Stanley and Luciana, we usually hang as a trio. They're my best friends 'cause we just had a really awesome relationship right from the start of our friendship two years ago. It's not seeing these two that pains me the most. And yes, these are the two that I've reached out to a lot, of course, they're my best friends. But they said they were busy, which is true, they've got double jobs, school and relationships. But, five months is almost half a year, it's hard to think that they didn't have free time at some point... and not once did they ask me when I was free. While, I'm asked them weekly (at first), then just every two weeks maybe? And then more time passed and I kind of got sick of asking. I'd love to think that they didn't start disliking me 'cause of that. But again, in my head I was like, Hmm... maybe they don't wanna see me anymore. Then I flipped out. Sorry, I got carried away just now. Back to the point. I can't believe that in the span of the five months they didn't ask me not once, even just to hang out for half an hour. That hurt a lot. Especially when I needed them during a few times I hit rock bottom.
*sigh*
This response was probably a lot longer than what you were expecting. Sorry man. And as always, thanks.
