april 18th!! milwaukee zine fest!! ill have as many of these as i can make!
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april 18th!! milwaukee zine fest!! ill have as many of these as i can make!
Ready for the summer in my first dress. I hope it looks good enough 😅
I still have problems with hugs. Before puberty I was a really touchy person. I held hands with my friends, used their legs as my leg rest and cuddled all the time. But when puberty hit and body dysphoria kicked in I changed this behaviour. Still to this day, even after top surgery I’m ambivalent. On one hand I would love to hug my friends more often but on the other hand I’m still scared they will push me away. I know it’s dumb cuz I myself am not disgusted by my body anymore on the contrary I’m proud of it with all those scars. Still that’s how I feel. It is such a shame cause I could need more hugs in my life.
I wanted to rant about this real quick because I've barely seen any trans person talk about this feeling so I decided to do it myself.
I'm a little over 1,5 months on T and even though I'm thrilled I finally am, I still struggle mentally for the following reason:
I put a lot of pressure on myself to change "fast enough" so people can see and hear some changes when they see me again. I know it's stupid and I can't influence the speed of the process at all but I just can't help it.I feel like I'm not only disappointing myself but also every one around me if my voice hasn't cracked or my facial structure hasn't changed or whatever until the next meeting and it's exhausting and doesn't help with my confidence at all.
To some extent I even feel like I have to prove myself with these changes to those I came out to long before. Like you need evidence in a criminal process instead of only a couple testimonies or something, you know?
So yeah, I am aware that it doesn't make much sense but I can't stop thinking like this.
Me and my body have a complex relationship. There are days where I am grateful for it. I don’t have that much body hair, I am kinda small and I burn fat quite easily. But besides these things, I hate it. The muscles, the non existing hips and especially the broad shoulders bring me down most of the time. This is more or less pre-transition (second day on T-Blockers). I was a weightlifter for 5 years, then stopped and now I am really looking forward to start again, since my muscles won’t build up that fast on blockers and waist training is great! For all of u who are interested, I’m going to upload my training plan soon, coming with my meal plan! So far I don’t see any changes expect that my appetite increased a lot and my mood is more stable. Gonna keep u updated, so follow if you are interesting in transition. Spread love ♡☆
You're trans and need a binder, but you can't afford one? You get (maybe) no support from your familie? Or you know someone in a situation like this? Then write to me here via Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/transhealthkit/) or via the website (http://healthkitprojekt.wixsite.com/healthkitproject). :) This project is meant to help others and this binders are looking for a new home (this is just a part of those who are in stock). The project has also other things except binder for FtM, MtF and non binary people to help. <3 // Ihr seid Trans und braucht einen Binder, könnt euch aber keinen neuen leisten? Ihr werdet dazu (vielleicht) nicht von der Familie unterstützt? Oder ihr kennt jemanden dem es so geht? Dann schreibt mir hier per Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/transhealthkit/) oder per Website (http://healthkitprojekt.wixsite.com/healthkitproject). :) Das Projekt ist dazu da um anderen zu helfen und diese Binder suchen ein neues Zuhause (das ist nur ein Teil von denen, die vorhanden sind). Außerdem hat das Projekt weitere Sachen außer Binder, um FzM, MzF und nicht binären Personen zu helfen. <3
Summer start