#naam17

[aerialklove]

I forgot about my birth family on Thanksgiving... An Adoptee’s Perspective

Damn it. I messed up.

I totally forgot about my birth family on Thanksgiving. I am not kicking myself for it at all though. I was dealing with a lot of stress. So here is the story.

Four Tuesdays ago my dad hit my mom in the face. Not the first time he has done that.  My mom called the cops and she put a protective order out against him so they are virtually separated. He is staying at his parents house right now until their court date in January.

So on Thanksgiving my siblings and I opted out of going to his late parents house for thanksgiving. We didn't want to deal with any drama or anything like that. We don't have to explain anything to anybody especially his nosey family.

So I was caught up dealing with my feelings about all of this. My mom had to work for Thanksgiving which made me sad as well. My biological family has not crossed my mind at all until 4pm. I was an hour away from my house when my older sister called me. I couldn't answer because I was driving and my mom was in the car with me. I thought oh my God....what did I just do? I hid my distress from my mom and went to her sisters house for dinner.

Dysfunctional, weird girlfriend that my brother should have left at home but good food. I had two and a half plates.

After I got home I felt overwhelmed and grief stricken. How could I have forgot? I was invited. My birth mother’s aunt lives twenty minutes away from me. I had time to swing by there but I forgot. They even asked about me. I let myself feel those feelings. I then affirmed to myself that it’s okay. If it was meant to be then it would have happened.

I sent my birth mother’s aunt an inbox message wishing her well and hoping to come to the next family gathering. She responds with kindness and love which makes all the different in the world. I called my birth mother the next day to wish her well. It was my first time calling her in a while and she was excited to hear from me.

Thank you for following my shenanigans and my blog. Peace & Love ~A.

[aerialklove]

National Adoption Awareness Month

I have been thinking about my adoptee journey a lot lately. I am 25 and I very been on this journey since I found out I was adopted at 12 years old. I have been more serious over the last seven years of my life with figuring all of this out. I am in the last stages of the technical parts of it all. I am going to request a DNA test from my birth father. I am going to connect with his side of the family. I am also going to do a general DNA test as well. Next is managing relationships and writing a memoir about my journey. Oh and finding a community of adoptees in my area. I want to open the conversation about Adoption but more specifically adoptee stories.

[aerialklove]

I never thought my parents would be seperated...

One of the most vivid childhood memory I have is my parents yelling at each other to sign divorce papers. Sometimes their yelling turned into fighting. My dad would eventually leave. This happened over and over again thru the years. My dad's struggles with his sobriety . Alcohol turns into a totally different person.

Well it's been a week. Last Tuesday my dad...in a drunken rage hit my mom. She called the cops and got a protective Order on him. If he comes to the house drunk and she call the cops he can be charged n with a felony and be put in jail. So now my dad stays at his late parents house which makes him sad. I have seen my dad maybe three times in the last week which makes me sad.

A part of me is happy that they are unofficially seperated and then another part of me feels like my parents just got a divorce.

I just wish things can be OK again.